Chouji would like you all to know some things about his character.

Chouji walks onto a large stage with green velvet curtains. He clears his throat then begins a prepared speech…

"Number one, guys, I really appreciate that so many people write about me. Yay, I'm loved!" He grins. "Secondly, though, and more important… I know episode one-hundred-fourteen is my moment and all, but… seriously! There are too many ChoIno and ShikaCho fics taking place around that time! Way too many!" He starts pacing.

"I mean, sure, I almost died, but come on! Be creative, people! Just about half are either introspective during or right after the fight, or all-of-a-sudden 'I don't want to lose you again, let's fuck' type of things while I'm in the hospital! And I appreciate it, really… But Jesus Christ on a taco!" He stops. "Man, that makes me want a taco."

"And another thing, too; I didn't stay skinny. I gained all, if not more, weight back after I got out. And no, there is no weird psychological thing behind my habit of eating potato chips…" He takes out a bag of chips. "I just like them is all." He starts eating them ravenously.

"Fank you foh youh tihme." He walks offstage.