Need
by thepragmatist

Pairing: SasuNaru
Warning: shortness, crack-ish, shounen-ai
Author's Notes: Yeah, it's really short, but i never intended to make it long.

Naruto laid on the soft green grass, yawning lazily.

The rest of his team were also waiting for their sensei who had the nerve to appear later than usual.

Naruto sighed. Boredom was getting the best of him. Rolling on his back, he looked toward his teammates.

"Ano sa, Ano sa…" Naruto began.

"Good morning Team!"

Sakura and Naruto twitched angrily at the jounin who had randomly appeared behind the three of them.

"I apologize for my lateness. You see, I woke up late today and realized that I could be five minutes late for our meeting so I decided to think of a logical excuse. Unfortunately that took longer than expected so I decided to finally just come and tell you the truth!"

"Kakashi-sensei…" Sakura growled. "YOU LIAR!"

Naruto yelled angrily with her. "That's your worse excuse yet!"

Sakura shook her head. "Talk about an oxymoron…"

Naruto nodded eagerly. "Yeah, Sensei-moron!"

All three ninjas looked incredulously at Naruto. Sakura slapped a hand to her forehead before deciding it wasn't worth correcting him.

"Anyways," Kakashi waved a hand airily. "Today, we're going to learn about good mission tactics." He paused to make sure everyone paid attention.

Sakura was looking at her finger dully.

Sasuke just stared at him blankly.

Naruto was crawling after an ant.

Good enough.

"Can anyone tell me what they really need?"

"Oh! Oh!" Naruto waved his hand wildly. "I know!"

Kakashi nodded at him and Naruto continued enthusiastically.

"Anou, I need my headband, I need my weapons, I need my scrolls, I need my bed, I need my clothes, I need I need my ramen, I need my money to buy all that, I need--"

Sasuke interrupted him. "Dobe. You don't need ALL of that."

Naruto paused from his listing and glared at the raven. "Yes I DO."

Sasuke just scoffed. "A person only truly needs food, water, shelter, and clothing."

Sakura nodded. "That's right, Naruto. Don't you remember what Iruka-sensei taught us? We only NEED things that we'll die without having."

Naruto huffed and folded his arms in half. "Well I'll DIE without having those things."

Sasuke sneered. Dobe, I doubt you'll die without ramen."

"Yes I will!" Naruto declared. "And your list is stupid too! Sure you need food and water, which ramen is by the way, but you won't DIE without clothes."

Sasuke glared. "Usuratonkachi! If you don't have clothes you'll be too susceptible to the weather."

"Stop calling me that! You're wrong Sasuke-bastard! How could you die without clothes?! That's so stupid!"

"Not as stupid as dieing without ramen!" Sasuke shot back.

"I could die if I didn't have ramen!"

"I doubt that. You'd be more likely to die FROM ramen. Do you even know what they put in that disgusting stuff?"

"RAMEN IS NOT DISGUSTING!" Naruto yelled angrily. "ARGH! You bastard! Fine! I'll prove to you that you don't NEED clothes! And that I'm right about ramen! Just watch, teme!"

Before Sasuke could answer, Naruto began taking off his clothes at lightening speed.

Sakura and Kakashi only looked on with amusement at the turn of events. Sakura shook her head. Only Naruto would be stupid enough to do that in front of an Uchiha that clearly wanted him.

When Naruto was clearly naked except for a hand towel that Sakura gave him for decency he grinned smugly at Sasuke.

"See Sasuke?! I'm not dead! Oh no! I'm SO cold in this 26 degree weather (80 degrees Fahrenheit)! Please Sasuke, as if being naked can kill you!"

Suddenly Naruto felt a strong urge to run for his life. He looked into Sasuke's eyes which were narrowed.

Crap Naruto thought, Sasuke must be so angry, he wants to kill me!

"Hey, Hey Sasuke. Just cause your wrong doesn't mean you wanna do something you'll regret later like y'know, killing your teammate."

Sakura wanted to slap Naruto. How dense could a boy get? She pitied the blond as Sasuke slowly advanced on him.

"S-Sasuke?" Naruto stuttered helplessly.

As Sasuke grabbed Naruto's naked form and crushed it against him, the only thought that flew through Naruto's mind was,

Oh crap. Maybe I DO need the clothes…

Author's Notes: So...? What d'you guys think? review.