I Do Not.

By Katie

Pairing: Troyella

Rating: K+

A/N: Rambling drabblish nothingness that could be considered totally and completely pointless when thought about very hard. Thanks cream-cheese-girl for the idea.

Disclaimer: I own nothing here, except for the story.

NO!

June 3rd, 2007

Dear Diary (but now your name is Susan!),

Well, here I am, writing in a diary. Taylor said it would help me get out my feelings and that after a while, writing in in a diary becomes an indulgence.

Whatever. I'm only doing this because my summer is destined to be completely and totally boring. I mean, we're going to Ryan and Sharpay's grandparents' country club to work and stuff. I need the extra money, though...

Have you ever wondered what it's like to actually BE Troy Bolton? Just for a day or two? I just want to know what it feels like to be the Golden Boy of East High. Have girls pining for you and such. That would be fun...but I'm not...! Oh, just forget about.

I hate the name 'Diary'. It's so plain. I mean, even diaries have feelings, right? So I'm going to call you Susan. Like it? That's Troy's girlfriend's name. Susan Sommer. She is sooo, and I'm stealing Mean Girls' word, FETCH! Like, oh-em-gee, she is, like, so pretty and like, I wish, like...What was I saying? AHAHAHAHA! OH-EM-GEE!

Alright, she doesn't talk like that. In fact, Susan Sommer is one of the prettiest, nicest, most all-American girls that you could ever meet. So, since I'm sure every diary strives for perfection, I'm naming you Susan.

But there HAS to be something wrong with her! Oh, I know. She probably gets really bad PMS. And when nobody's looking she picks her wedgies. And she eats brussel sprouts and doesn't brush her teeth afterward.

Ergh. Susan is never mean. And she's always surrounded by a swarm of people. And her breath always smells minty fresh...I know because she pops Tic-Tacs into her mouth like there's no tomorrow. AHA! She's a Tic-Tac addict.

So, today I got really sick during my 500th viewing of "The Notebook". I was eating a big bowl of M&Ms, and the next thing I know I'm over the toilet puking my brains out. But, it passed. I probably ate a few too many of those delicious M&Ms. I don't eat pastel colored M&Ms.

They, and this might sound crazy, taste so much worse than the regular colored ones. There's not enough dye in the candy shell, is what I've concluded. They are fat-free M&Ms! I don't like the mini ones, either. Seriously, you take one handful out of the tube they come in, and you've eaten them all.

Bleh on the M&M people.

Troy likes the green ones. He says they taste the best. I think they all taste the same, excluding those fat-free pastel traitors. So every time he comes over, I sort through a million bags of M&Ms and only put the green ones in a green bowl with a glass of dyed-green milk beside them. Troy is a green fiend.

You may think it a lot of work for me to go through the trouble of sorting through bags of those delicious milk-chocolate, body-fat increasing, completely addicting candies just for one guy. But Troy is different.

He is my bestest friend in the whole world, and I can tell him anything. He used to be my boyfriend, but that is a story for another day and another bowl of you-know-whats.

Okay, I'll tell you. Stupid diary who doesn't say a word but can get me to admit anything!

Troy and I did a musical together, and we were in love, and so we started going out with each other. But it didn't work out so well because he fell in love with Susan Sommer near the end of our relationship. We broke up last September, so I'm good.

I don't blame him. You can't help who you fall in love with. Him and Susie-kins have been going out since last October. We became best friends, and now everyone's great, and I'm great, and Troy's great, and Susan's great, and my mom's great, and Darbus is great, and-

Okay, so I'm not so great. Lately...I've been getting a little jealous of Susan. The way Troy holds her hand when they walk down the street or down a hallway. The way Troy gives her a peck on the lips when she says something cute. He was mine before he was ever SUSAN'S.

I do not love him and I don't care what Taylor thinks. I mean...well...she's dating Chad! And she said she would never in a million years date someone as dim-witted and stupid as Chad. But she's practically all over him.

Sharpay and Ryan aren't dating anyone. Well, Ryan sort of is. He and Kelsi have something going on, even though they won't admit it. They're sooo crushin' on each other.

Sharpay just swore off guys for all eternity. Her and her boyfriend Quentin just broke up...he was cheating on her. With Sharpay's cousin, Melinda. It didn't end so well.

More later. A carton of orange sherbert is calling my name. 'Gabriella...come eat me!'

♥ Gabi