Title: Hammurabi's Law
Author: Winter Ashby (rosweldrmr)
Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist belongs to Hiromu Arakawa-sama, not me!
Warnings: Spoilers through chapter 46 & 47 of the Manga!!! Some of the dialogue is taken directly from the Manga (as well as some of the italicized thoughts) starting on at Chapter 46 Page 39 through part of Chapter 47.
Summary: It was her life to take, or at least that's what she tells herself. (Slight (Winry & Roy) if you look close enough) Manga Storyline, Chapter 46 & 47.
Author's Notes: I'm considering continuing this, but I'm sure if I want to. I think it stands well enough on it's own as an interesting character study of Winry. Starting after the break, the lines and thoughts are mine, not the Manga. At that point, this fic becomes AU.
"What?" Winry stood against the rubble of what was left of a building, her heart pounding and her ears were ringing. There were two bodies lying in the alley and Winry knew they were dead. She looked at Ed. His coat was torn, and there was blood running down his face. "What do you mean?" Winry demanded, her hands were beginning to shake with violent rage and her eyes were starting to blur. And there was only one thought that was coherent enough to echo through her blank, numb mind. This person killed my parents?
"Liar!" Winry screamed and all three men's heads turned. She could feel her legs give way as she slid to the hard dirt ground. "They were killed by someone they saved?" Winry could feel her mind begin to groan back to life, slowly. But still, it didn't make sense. She'd always thought that her parents were killed in the war because they disobeyed orders. She couldn't understand how a person they'd risked their life to save could kill them. She looked back at Scar, with his expressionless face and felt a streak of deep hatred cut through her heart. You killed my parents?
"Why don't you deny it?" She asked him, watching his face, hoping that it wasn't true. She'd thought about the day she'd meet the person who took her whole world away, and she swore that when that day came, she would finally take vengeance for what she'd lost. "Why?" But now that the day had come, and she was staring her parent's murderer in the face, she wished that it wasn't true. "What did my parents ever do?" Winry spoke from the ground, looking up at this monster like she was begging. "Did they do something that gave you no choice but to kill them?"
Winry wanted to understand. She wanted logic, and justification. She wanted order and reason. She wanted automail instructions: slot A and slot B intersect at point C. That made sense to her. She could understand when things were simple, black and white. But this wasn't like that. This was messy, and her emotions felt as though they would rip her apart from the inside, unless she could understand why. But all he did was stand there.
And the moments ticked past, seconds mounting on the last, with still no response, no indication that he'd even heard what she said. And she could see the cold void in his eyes, the blankness that enveloped him from the inside. He was a monster: a remorseless, heartless, soulless monster. And Winry couldn't take it anymore. "Give them back!" She clasped her hands over her ears to stop the ringing and let the tears flow from the centers of her eyes so that it felt like she was melting away. "GIVE ME BACK MY MOM AND DAD!!!"
She saw the gun. It was sitting on the dirt, like she was. The glint in the sunlight caught her eye, and her fingers twitched. It was like the gun was calling to her. And she wondered why she was so scared of them in the past. After all, it was just a hunk of metal with gears and triggers. She knew all about that. This thing, this weapon that she'd feared for so long was the only thing at that moment that made any sense to her.
It was safe. Safer than the monster who wouldn't speak, safer that Ed, with blood trickling down his cheeks and staining his torn clothes. Safer than Al, who was too good to live like this. She reached for it. Her fingers closed around the metal, and she was sure that it wasn't that hard to kill a person. All she had to do was squeeze. And then, it would all be over. Then the monster would get what he deserved.
"Wait, Winry!" She could barely hear Ed's voice, past the rushing blood in her ears and her pounding heartbeat. "Stop!" He knew that Scar killed her parents. She heard it from his own lips. How long had he known, she wondered. "That won't work!" But it didn't matter. He was too far away to stop her.
"Winry!" Al said her name, but she felt no connection to it. He knew about it too. They both knew, and never told her. They let her find out like this, they let this happen. The two people in the world that she loved more than anyone, and they hid this from her. What right did they have to keep this from her? What right did they have to make decisions for her?
"Please stop, Winry!" Ed was speaking again. But she wasn't listening anymore. She pointed the barrel of the gun directly at Scar's head. "Don't shoot Winry! Let go of the gun!" But it was too late. Even Ed's voice couldn't break the gripping hatred that squeezed her heart like a vice.
"You shouldn't hold something like that!" Her hands were shaking and she ignored Al. He had no idea what she was capable of. "Winry!" She could hold it; she could do more than hold the gun. She would fire it. It was just metal, just like automail. If there was one thing in this world that Winry was sure she could do, that was handle machines. And the gun was just a machine, a little machine that could end all the years of suffering that Scar had caused. It was a machine that she had complete control over.
"So you are the daughter of those doctors." Scar spoke. Finally his deep voice resonated, and Winry could feel her anger boil over as his words passed over her. He was still blank, still a monster. "You have the right to shoot me…" And as if this was what Winry was waiting for, her hands steadied. She knew then what she was capable of. "However, the moment that bullet releases from your gun… you will be my enemy!" Winry listened to his words and weighed the danger of making an enemy out of a monster against the lives that he'd taken.
---
It wasn't just her parents. This man, this beast had killed over and over. He'd tried to kill Ed and Al, and he would try again. She could see the slumped over bodies of the two men in the alley next to her, covered in their own blood. It was one of their guns that she held now and thought about all the other people he'd killed. He'd killed dozens of State Alchemists, and Nina. Ed told her all about Tucker's daughter: a sweet little girl who was turned into a chimera by her own father, and then murdered by Scar. He was a demon, and she was responsible for his life, because he wouldn't be alive today if it wasn't for her parents. Winry knew she had the power and the right to take that life from him now. She was the legacy from whom he owed a life debt. And today, she was going to collect.
The trigger was heavier than she expected. She wanted to close her eyes, but she didn't. She kept them opened. She watched as the gun released, and the bullet zoomed from the barrel. And all the rest of the world faded away. All that was left was a girl, and bullet, and a monster. She didn't turn away as the bullet flew directly at Scar's forehead. She'd aimed right at the scar from which his name was taken.
It only took milliseconds for it to happen. But to Winry, it felt like several lifetimes. It was the culmination of the lives that he'd taken: her parents, who didn't get to come home and see their daughter; Nina, who never got to say goodbye; and all the State Alchemists who were murdered in dark alleys like dogs.
She watched his eyes grow wide when he realized that she'd actually done it, and there was no way he was going to be able to stop it in time. She watched his face the moment he realized that he was going to die. And she wished she did look away then, because she was sure that she'd never be able to erase that look from her mind for the rest of her life.
His body jerked back as the bullet entered his brain. There was just a trickle of blood from the pink-sized hole in his head. And then, she watched as his lifeless body fell back to the ground. A cloud of dust rose into the air as his body bounced and then settled, never to move again.
"Noooooooooooooooo!" The rest of the world came flying back into focus. Ed was moving faster than she'd ever seen him before, a wild look in his eyes and his gloved hands reaching for her. But he was too late.
"Don't touch me." Winry shouted, and swung the gun around to point at Ed. "Stay away from me." Winry could feel the vomit begin to rise in her throat. It was acidy. And her whole body began to shake so violently that she thought she might drop the gun.
Ed stopped in his tracks. His eyes were wide as he watched her point the gun at him. "Please, Winry. Stop." His voice was softer now, but it didn't make a difference anymore. She knew then that she'd never be the same. She'd never be the same girl she was before.
There was a lot of noise after that. But Winry was only aware of Ed's face, crestfallen and blood stained as he watched her. She could hear Al begging her to put the gun down. But she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to drop the machine that she's just used to take a person's life. She wanted the metal rivets and inlays burned into her hand so that she would always remember what it felt like to hold that gun.
Winry threw up. Hot, acid spewed from her mouth and she crumpled to the ground, still holding the gun. She curled into a ball, not caring that there was blood mixed with dirt and vomit getting in her hair. She just closed her eyes, held the gun against her chest and wailed like a child.
Huge, thick tear fell from her eyes and left tracks of pale skin exposed. The rest of her face was covered in dirt and speckled with blood from the person she'd just killed. "It was my life to take." She whispered it over and over, rocking herself gently.
Ed didn't approach, but just stood there, watching. She hated him then, really hated him. She hated him for letting her, for trying to stop her, for not telling her, for lying, for hiding, for always making her wait. She hated him for trying to take vengeance when it wasn't his to take. But most of all, she hated him for the way he was looking at her: like she was broken, like she was damaged, like he never wanted to touch her again.
There were other voices then, more footsteps and dust getting kicked into the air. Winry saw a flurry of blue and gold, and then she was being hoisted into the air, cradled in a rough blue coat and strong arms. Winry didn't care who it was. All that mattered was that it wasn't Ed, it would never be Ed again.
So Winry buried her face into someone's neck and took in deep, gasping breathes that were full of the lingering scent of gunpowder. She held tightly, balling the fabric in her hands and weeping. "It was my life to take." She said it over and over again, into the neck that smelled explosive.
"Shhhh." A hand ran through her hair, and it was soothing. "It's going to be okay. Everything's going to be okay now. I've got you." And she believed the voice that saved her from the putrid hell that she created for herself. And her eyes closed. She didn't want to be conscious anymore. So as she slipped into the sweet oblivion of utter nothingness, her heart was torn into pieces that would never be whole again.
So... that went well, right? Oh, I forgot to put a warning at the beginning for violent, character death, and vomit. Should there be a warning for that? I know a lot of people don't like to read about it. (Fixed it, I put the warning in the summary - so there!)
Also, I just wanted to briefly mention the title of this fic. Hammurabi's Law is the 'An eye for an eye' law. So, I thought it fit well in the FMA universe, where 'Law of Equivalent Exchange' is everywhere. At least, that's what I think. And it also refers directly to what Winry says over and over 'It was my life to take' literally means, 'An eye for an eye.'
That's all. I hope I didn't bore you with all that. Thanks for reading, and I'd love to hear what you think.