"Thank you... I think," Leon said as Stahn gingerly lowered him to the bed. He was praying that the slight flush that still remained in his cheeks had gone unnoticed. After propping himself up against the headboard, he asked, "Can you go get my crutches now, please?"
Instead of complying, Stahn took a seat at the edge of the bed.
"Um..."
"I'll go get them a little later," Stahn promised. "You don't need them right now anyway."
"Actually, I kind of do. We're not all as blessed as you in the mobility department."
"First, we're going to talk," Stahn said firmly. "and you can't storm off without your crutches."
Leon widened his eyes. "Unbelievable," he muttered.
"What?"
"You actually did something clever."
Stahn rolled his eyes before becoming serious. "I want to know what's going on with you."
"Three guesses."
"I'm really sorry." Stahn smiled sadly. "And I mean that. I didn't realize how strongly you felt."
Leon shook his head and exhaled. "Look, it's not entirely your fault," he admitted. "I was really angry with you, but you weren't my only problem. I guess I took all my frustrations out on you and for that, I should be the one saying I'm sorry."
"Don't sweat it," Stahn assured him. "With all that's going on, I think we're both a bit more testy than usual... but I think we need to sort this out. After all, you were right earlier."
Leon frowned. "About what?"
"When you said that I didn't understand. Leon, I want to understand, but I can't if you won't let me."
Leon managed to crack a tiny smile. "Didn't I say that I wasn't paying you to deal with my problems?"
Stahn laughed. "Consider it a free service."
"I'm serious. With the Miktran situation, I know you have a lot on your mind... I don't want to burden you."
"It wouldn't be a burden." Stahn put his hand over Leon's. "It would be a relief. I hate fighting with you."
Frustrated, Leon withdrew his hand. Stahn made it sound so simple, as if a few words were all it would take to fix everything. "What is it, exactly, that you want me to say?"
"Whatever's on your mind."
"I don't know what you think this is, but I'm not just going to deliver some kind of deep, dark confessional on cue." Leon lowered his gaze, his voice softening somewhat. "This isn't something I can just make you understand."
Stahn sighed. "Yeah... I know. It just surprised me, you know, the way you reacted when I told you about Hugo. I guess I expected you to feel the way Rutee did, the way we all did."
"I understand where you're coming from," Leon replied slowly. "It really wasn't fair for me to jump on you earlier. Of course you only know what Hugo told you; that's all you had to go by."
"I just think he really was a good guy underneath it all," Stahn said softly. "Or... at least, I want to."
A bitter smile played across Leon's lips. Stahn's naivete, which had annoyed him when they'd first met, could easily manifest itself into something very admirable. Stahn had a kind heart and he always tried to see the best in everyone. Leon hated to be the one to have to bring that illusion crashing down.
"In his last moment of clarity, he took Rutee to the orphanage," Stahn continued. "That's gotta count for something."
"...if being more interested in power than the well being of your family and even yourself is 'something', then you're right." There was a steel edge to those words and it was sharper than the point of Igtenos' blade. "Stahn, think about it. In his 'moment of clarity', he got rid of his daughter instead of Berselius. Besides, don't you think that in order to be possessed like that, a person has to be somewhat willing? If Clemente had been the Swordian Miktran had chosen to possess, do you think Philia would have committed the same acts as he did?" Leon didn't give Stahn a chance to respond before revealing what he felt was the correct answer. "She wouldn't have. She'd consider what would be best for her friends and the people around her and she would discard the Swordian before she completely succumbed to insanity.
"I want to feel bad and I wish that I could, but it's hard to grieve for someone who had no real feelings of his own." Leon lowered his head, cursing the tears that were pooling in his eyes again. He heaved a long, shaky sigh, wondering when he'd become such an emotional wreck. "I suppose you think that I'm being cold." He smiled ironically. "In your eyes, I'm probably no different than him."
Stahn had been silent up until that point, digesting what Leon was telling him, but as soon as those words were spoken, he shook his head decisively. "I do not see you that way at all," he paused and looked directly at Leon before asking, "Do you know why?"
Leon shook his head.
"Because of these." Stahn wiped Leon's tears away and smiled warmly at him. "You do care. I can tell. You wouldn't waste tears over something that didn't mean anything to you."
Leon tried to look away, but Stahn grabbed his chin and forced him to look him in the eyes.
"You don't have to take this on all by yourself." A warm smile spread across his face as he released the boy's chin and instead put his hands on Leon's shoulders. "I'll always be here for you, and I'm sure everyone else feels the same way. We're your friends."
Leon's heart swelled with gratitude. Stahn truly, unconditionally cared for him and he was finally able to admit to himself that that was all he'd ever wanted. "Stahn..." he began softly, peering up at Stahn almost shyly.
"Yeah?"
Leon wanted desperately to thank Stahn, or at least let him know how much he meant to him, but the words wouldn't come out. Anything he tried to formulate in his head sounded so wrong. When it came down to it, he was still afraid to let Stahn know how he felt. He'd never been able to open and honest. As much as he'd despised his life of oppression, it was all he knew and it was nothing compared to this. Freedom was terrifying.
He bit his lower lip, carefully avoiding Stahn's concerned gaze as he tried to get his head back on straight. His face was slightly flushed, and he had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach that it seemed only Stahn was able to trigger. Finally, he looked back up with a bit of a frown.
"You're such a sap," he grumbled, giving Stahn a gentle shove.
Stahn chuckled and ruffled his friend's hair. "Coming from you, that's a compliment, isn't it?"
Leon tried to scowl, but he just couldn't suppress the smile that was begging to surface. "I guess it kind of is."
The things that Stahn had said may have indeed sounded sappy, or cliche, but Leon could tell that the sentiment behind them was sincere. Nothing else mattered. If there was one thing he'd learned from Hugo, it was that words meant absolutely nothing without something real behind them.
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door.
"Go let them in, Stahn, since no one refused to bring you your only means of transportation," Leon said pointedly.
"Yeah, yeah..." Stahn stood up and walked to the door. "Wait, let me guess, you want me to bring you your crutches while I'm at it."
"Exactly." Leon smirked. "You're getting good at this. Maybe I'll hire you after this is all over."
"Yeah..." Stahn said with a laugh. "Don't take it personally if I don't accept that offer."
He opened the door to reveal Chelsea standing outside of it with a bright smile on her face.
"I hope you guys are hungry," she chirped. "Me and Philia splurged on a big cake, and it's going to take more than the two of us to eat it all."
That certainly got Leon's attention. "Stahn, don't you have my crutches to get?" he prodded in what he liked to think was a subtle manner.
"Yeah, I know." Grumbling in a good natured way, Stahn left the room to fetch the aforementioned crutches.
Chelsea giggled. "Eager for cake, are we?"
Leon felt his face flush a little. "No, that's not it! You couldn't possibly understand what it's like, not being able to get up and walk around whenever you feel like it."
"Oh, of course," Chelsea didn't even bother to conceal her amusement. "Whatever you say, Leon."
"Oh, shut up."
Chelsea scowled, and poked her tongue out at him. "If you're gonna be like that, I'll just give your piece of cake to one of those cats out there. How do you like that?"
"...cats don't eat cake."
"Yeah, well..." Chelsea wracked her brain. "That's only because no one offers them any."
Fortunately, Stahn returned then, crutches in hand. He took them over to Leon and held them out with a grin. "There you go. Now there's nothing standing between you and that cake."
Leon accepted the crutches before rolling his eyes. "What is it with you two? So I like cake. It's not as if I have some kind of strange fixation with it."
"I beg to dif--" Stahn saw that Leon was glaring at him, and abruptly changed the subject. "So, Chelsea, where is this cake?"
"Downstairs in the kitchen," Chelsea replied, turning to leave. She looked over her shoulder and beckoned for them to follow her. "Come on!" With that, she dashed off. Clearly, Leon was not the only one eager for cake.
Stahn cast a glance at Leon. "You heard her. Hurry, before they eat it all without us."
"Right." With the aid of his crutches, Leon pulled himself up and hobbled to the door where Stahn was waiting. "Let's go."
The corners of Stahn's mouth turned up into a teasing grin. "Now, remember. Walk slowly."
Leon glowered at him, but Stahn just shrugged, his face the perfect picture of wide eyed innocence. "What? It's not my fault you're a klutz."
"You'd be wise to keep your opinions to yourself," Leon advised, "unless you want your cake to become cat food." Cat food? Apparently, Chelsea was getting to him.
With that, he hobbled out of his room and started down the hall at a fairly quick (but noticably cautious) pace, not even sparing Stahn a second glance. Judging by the sound of his footsteps, the blond wasn't far behind.
"Hey, wait up!"
Leon cast a glance over his shoulder and smirked. "I'm not such a klutz after all, hm?"
"Only because you don't want anything to hinder you from getting some cake," Stahn teased him.
"...you know, you really shouldn't pick on me when I have two large, wooden sticks at my disposal."
Stahn took one look at Leon's crutches and threw his hands up in surrender. "Point taken."
Try as he might to sound grumpy, Leon couldn't help but laugh. He'd never felt more at ease around Stahn. It seemed like everything was finally coming together. He didn't have to be alone anymore and, for the first time since losing Chaltier, he knew that he wasn't.
Together, he and Stahn headed downstairs and into the kitchen, ready to enjoy some cake.
-xxx-
The cake was absolutely delicious.
Stahn picked up his last bite with his fork and put it into his mouth, chewing slowly to savour the sweet caramel flavour. He couldn't tease Leon about cake after this, not after he himself had polished off two pieces.
It was just the four of them--him, Leon, Philia and Chelsea--and they'd had a good time. Stahn was so pleased with the improvement in Leon's attitude since their little conversation. It seemed he'd finally started to let his guard down a bit, and it was obvious that he was enjoying himself.
Of everything Stahn had done in his life, he considered this to be one of his greatest accomplishments. To make that boy come around was all he'd wanted since the day they met and the fact that it had finally happened only strengthened his resolve to save this world from Miktran. Leon was free, finally able to be himself after all these years, and Stahn wasn't about to allow Miktran to take that away from him.
Just as he was about to commend the girls on their eye for good cake, he heard someone enter the kitchen. Looking up, he saw Garr standing there wearing a rather somber expression.
"Hey," Stahn greeted him. "Why so serious?"
"The king has requested our presence," he informed them. "He said it was important."
Stahn studied his friend's face for a moment before asking, "Is it bad news?"
"I'm not sure," Garr admitted with a bit of a shrug. "He simply said that he had something important to tell us."
"So, I guess this means you don't have time to stay and have some cake with us?" Chelsea sounded disappointed. Garr only shook his head in response. Philia, meanwhile, turned her attention to Leon.
"I'm sorry we have to go so soon, and leave the kitchen in such a mess..."
"I'm sure the maids can handle it," he assured her before looking at Stahn. "Should I come with you?"
Stahn considered it for a moment before shaking his head 'no'. He could tell that Leon wished he was able to help them, but with his physical condition, that wasn't possible. Besides, if the king's news was indeed bad, there was no need for Leon to share the burden. "You don't have to come. I'm sure you're tired after today." 'Emotionally exhausted' was what Stahn meant, but he'd rather not bring that up in front of everyone. "I'll give you a full report when I get back."
Leon didn't look convinced. "'Do you really mean a 'full report', or do you just mean 'the good news'?"
Stahn knew that he should have expected Leon to clue in. "Well... I..."
"I can't believe this." Leon glared at him. "You're treating me like a child."
Leon wasn't even trying to hide his irritation over Stahn's efforts to protect him. Everything Leon had been through, and still had to cope with, made Stahn a little apprehensive to get him involved. He wasn't sure how much more Leon could take. After everything that had happened, the boy was still in a fragile state. The breakdown he'd suffered earlier was testimony to that. At the same time he knew that, even at the worst of times, Leon was far from frail. This wasn't a fight to 'avenge Leon', like Stahn had viewed the battle with Hugo. This was just as much Leon's fight as it was theirs. Miktran's deeds had destroyed Leon's family and taken away his right to an ordinary life.
"I don't need you to protect me from the world, Stahn. Just because I can't travel with you guys doesn't mean that this doesn't affect me." His brow furrowed and his violet eyes bore into Stahn's blue ones. "I can't agree to wait here if you're going to sugarcoat what he tells you to make it sound like something I want to hear."
Leon's resolve was apparent. It never ceased to amaze Stahn how strong that boy really was. This wasn't the same thing as his facade back in the cave (and it still made Stahn feel sick to his stomach when he thought of that time). Leon was more resilient than Stahn gave him credit for. Finally, Stahn nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry; I know you're stronger than that." He beamed. "I'll let you in on it, no matter what. After all, you're still part of our team. This is your fight too."
"Thank you. It makes me sick when you act like that."
Stahn knew that was just Leon's way of expressing his gratitude, so he simply smiled.
"I do believe the king of Seinegald wishes to see us promptly," Garr reminded Stahn.
Stahn grinned sheepishly. "Yeah, sorry about that."
"Now get going." Leon gestured for them to leave. "It's rude to keep the king waiting."
Stahn groaned. "Don't you start, too."
"But what about the others?" Philia queried.
"They're already at the castle," Garr explained.
"Damn."
Chelsea peered up at Stahn questioningly. "What?"
"Rutee's probably gonna make fun of me for being so late."
"And she'll pick on you even worse if you don't hurry," Leon advised him.
"Yes," Garr agreed. "Now let's go. We've kept the king waiting long enough."
"Right." Stahn nodded. "We'll be back to talk to you a bit later, Leon."
"Yeah, see you then!" Chelsea chirped.
Leon gave them a brief wave in response and with that, the four of them left the mansion and set off for the castle to rejoin the rest of their group.
-xxx-
Leon was disgusted with how he'd completely frozen up earlier. Why couldn't he just be honest with Stahn, with himself? He had to tell him how he felt, even if it was just to get it off his chest. The first time he'd tried to say something was back in the cave. He'd gone in there expecting to die, so there would be no time to regret the revelation. Now, he was glad that he'd lost that opportunity. He doubted that either of them would have been able to look the other in the eye had he said it there. As it was, that day in the cave was something both of them were still haunted by and something neither wished to remember.
He sighed and watched out the window as Stahn and the others walked away from the mansion, becoming smaller and smaller until they were out of sight.