A/N: One of the weird perverse thoughts I had when I read the team 7 reunion in the manga. I forgot about it until I saw the first episode of Shippuuden and just FINALLY found the time to write it. This is not meant to be a Sakura-bash, though she certainly isn't the happiest of people in the story. Mild spoilers for the anime, I guess…But nothing too damaging I would hope. Enjoy if you can XD
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, or anything like it. In fact, I don't anything; I'm not even my own…Great- now I'm depressed.
The explosion momentarily stopped Sakura in her tracks before she took in its direction. Sai was standing in a pile of rubble, apparently staring off into the horizon. She ran up to him, panting hard, her look demanding an explanation. It was then she heard it…the voice that has haunted her dreams for the past three years.
"Sakura, huh…" She turned slowly, his name on her lips. Uchiha Sasuke was looking down on her nonchalantly, evidently unmoved by her presence.
She looks older…probably stronger too, ne?
Sasuke regarded his former team-mate with a bland expression, still a little peeved at the interruption of his nap.
He suddenly felt the fine hairs on the back of his neck pricking up, his stomach doing odd twists as his stood motionless. This could only mean one thing and he mentally braced for the hurricane to come.
Naruto skidded to a halt, his eyes finding Sasuke immediately. The two boys stared at each other silently until Naruto spoke.
"Sasuke…" Sasuke blinked slowly, leaning forward as his gaze bored into the blonde's.
"Naruto?" Then suddenly they were twelve years old again, battling against each other and fate.
--Flashback--
Naruto leaned down, grabbing Sasuke by the collar, intent on beating sense into the Uchiha. Sasuke's eyes opened slowly.
"What do you know about me, with no parents or siblings? What do you know, when you've been alone from the start?! Huh?!"
He was glaring hard a Naruto now, trying to…
There was the sound of shattering glass as the Flashback splintered and exploded before everyone's eyes. The four men present blinked and straightened in surprise before turning to observe a heavily panting and livid Sakura.
(Apparently if you put enough Chakra into it, you can even punch through a Flashback)
"WHAT.THE.HELL?!!" Sakura was fairly screeching at them. Sasuke appeared to be the only one who was not unnerved by this sudden mood swing. When Sakura's temper gets going, she could be deadly.
"It's been almost three years…THREE YEARS since we have seen each other Sasuke-kun!! And all I get is 'Sakura, huh?' But the amazing idiot boy runs in and suddenly it is eyes-glazed-over Flashback time?!" Naruto raised placating hands to Sakura…
"Sakura-chan… It's not like that! It's just that I was the last person to see Sasuke before he left Konoha, and we had that huge fight at the Valley of the End and…" Naruto was interrupted by Sakura grabbing and shaking him like a rag-doll.
"Don't you dare patronize me, you orange disaster!!" Yamato rolled his eyes, careful to remain unseen by Sakura.
Is this girl serious? She's mad about someone having a Naruto flashback? This is a kid who inspires warm gooey flashbacks by lunchtime in people he met in the morning!
In truth, as Yamato was still thinking, across the land, a host of Naruto flashbacks were taking place- a large percentage occurring in the Village of the Hidden Sand. The three sand siblings were all having Naruto flashbacks. Gaara himself was having his sixth…no seventh Naruto flashback since breakfast. 'Uzumaki Naruto saved me from a life of loneliness…' Yeah, we know- we freaking get it already.
The Sand was second only to Konoha in the sheer volume of Naruto flashbacks. The Godaime, Iruka, Hinata and the rest of the new chuunin (except Shikamaru who thought it was too troublesome) were all having Naruto flashbacks. Ichiraku was having a particularly wistful flashback, since no one was buying his ramen that day. Jiraiya would have been having a Naruto flashback too, if it weren't for the massive blood loss he was currently sustaining as he ogled at girls frolicking in a bath.
Anywhoo, Naruto was slowly turning green as Sakura continued shaking him. Sasuke finally deigned to speak up.
"My eyes did not glaze over"
"Shut up you disco queen! …With that stupid duck-butt hairdo. Who is your stylist: a weed-whacker?"
Sasuke glared before crossing his arms and tossing his head. Looking off to one side, the raven-hair boy spoke up again.
"Well if someone would do something worth remembering once in a while, maybe then she'd get a flashback…"
Sakura promptly dropped Naruto and started sputtering, going as red as a tomato.
"D-Do something worth… You know what…I am done, that's it. I have had it. I hope you all kill each other! Screw you guys, I'm going home! Let's so Sai…"
"But Sakura-san…"
"Move it Sai!"
Sai jogged after her immediately. Naruto and Yamato cringed at each ensuing explosion as Sakura blasted through any unfortunate wall or obstacle that came in her path.
"Great, what do we do now?" Naruto asked exasperatedly as Yamato muttered to himself and started leafing through the Naruto Manga. He knew the transition to the anime wasn't going to be easy.
"Hnn, you still want to do the whole me-leaping-down-trying-to-kill-you-with-my-katana-and-seeing-the-Kyuubi-using-my-Sharingan thing?"
"No…not really... Let's skip that till Sakura-chan gets back. I never wanted to do it in any event"
"Yeah, me neither"
Yamato was still looking through the manga when an odd sensation of unease struck him. Looking up, he saw that Sasuke, now standing next to Naruto, was glaring at him, giving off an appreciable amount of killing intent. Naruto was also looking at him, but with a sheepish expression as the blonde rubbed the back of his neck.
Of course, Yamato couldn't be sure, but he instinctively felt that at some point, his presence had become…unwanted. Swallowing, he rolled up the manga and started backing up unconsciously.
"Eh…You know…I think I'll go see if Sakura's okay"
"Yeah- you should do that." Sasuke made it sound more like an order than a suggestion.
"Great idea, you can cheer up Sakura-chan!
Yamato coughed and promptly disappeared in a cloud of smoke. Signalling Naruto to follow him, Sasuke lead the way towards some of the damage-free rooms.
"I can see Sakura's point about the outfit, but I do think you look a lot like a gay pirate Sasuke…"
"Shut up! I did the best I could with the resources I had. You can lecture me on my fashion sense when you stop looking like a diseased Popsicle…"
"Yeah, whatever you say disco inferno…"
The room looked surprisingly normal. Naruto didn't know what he was expecting, but he did know it had involved a guillotine and blood stains. There was none as far as he could see. He immediately plopped down into an overstuffed chair.
"Soooooo, how have you been?"
Sasuke, once again, commenced the glaring. He didn't want to talk to Naruto. They could talk until they get blue in the face AFTER he killed Itachi and went back to Konoha. Who knows when the pink-haired freak was coming back? With the limited time they had before having to do over the whole 'reunion' scene, right now talking was the furthest thing from Sasuke's mind. Naruto knew that…Sasuke knew Naruto knew that…
"Like the room…did you arrange it yourself?" Sasuke didn't respond, opting instead to activate his Sharingan to boost his glaring power. It didn't appear to work. Naruto seemed to get off on torturing him, because the dobe KNEW he didn't want to make the first move.
"Wanna compare new jutsus?"
Swearing colourfully and creatively, Sasuke stomped over to the blonde jackass, grabbed him by the collar and hauled him up savagely. Still cursing like a sailor, he slammed Naruto against the nearest wall and then proceeded to shove his tongue down his throat. A few minutes later when Sasuke broke off for air, Naruto was smirking at him.
"That's some mouth you got on you- Sasuke." Sasuke couldn't help but smirk back before attacking Naruto again.
In a moment, Naruto flipped their positions, pressing Sasuke into the wall. Ending their kiss, he moved his lips to Sasuke's neck, sucking and nibbling right above a pulsing vein. Sasuke felt his body sag as Naruto teased the sensitive area close to his ear. He groaned in frustration when the blonde stopped, thinking he was trying to aggravate him again. Naruto smiled at the annoyance on Sasuke's face before pulling him towards the bed. Stretching out next to Sasuke, Naruto resumed his ministrations to the other boy's neck, his hand trailing down from Sasuke's throat down his bare chest- the open front shirt offering no resistance.
Sasuke felt the rope securing his clothes being pulled and tossed aside. Naruto was now raking his nails lightly over his abdomen, making his muscles constrict and shivers run up his spine. He hissed as he felt teeth grazing his chest, his eyes closing as heat enveloped him. A cloudy thought niggled at the back of his mind as he felt Naruto's hand move incrementally lower. It abruptly made it self clear just as Naruto's was about to delve into his pants.
"I'm not Uke…" Naruto blinked up at him, momentarily nonplussed.
"Huh?"
"I'm not Uke!" Naruto sat up and stared at him incredulously.
"What the hell do you mean you're not Uke? Of course you're uke! It's in your name for Kami's sake! Sas-uke! Right there, it says so!"
"It's Sa-su-ke, you moron, and that doesn't mean anything!"
So then they had to stop and argue about whom was what. And Sasuke, despite having logic, a height advantage and the Sharingan on his side, had miraculously managed to lose the argument. It shouldn't have been surprising to him- when had he ever won an argument with Naruto when it mattered and without knocking him out?
Naruto prudently decided to keep the wisecrack about Sasuke 'ending up a sore loser to himself', and promptly picked up where he had left off. However, Sasuke's eyes then fell on the Itachi-dartboard he had up in the room. He then immediately developed a complex in regards to his weasel of a brother seeing him 'get it' from some blonde loser.
So then they had to stop and argue about that too. And Naruto, despite having logic, limited time and the Kyuubi on his side, finally had to stamp over to the damn thing and flip it around so that Itachi could not 'see' them. This appeared to mollify Sasuke ('the moron' Naruto thought) and Naruto asked if there was anything else his highness needed done or clarified before resuming activities. Apparently there wasn't.
Things were proceeding as merrily as a gay rodeo until the important question of lubrication came up. Sasuke thought for a while, headed into an adjoining room and came back with a bottle.
'Orochimaru's Snake Oil for Snake Charmers'
Apparently Orochimaru was a lube manufacturer…who knew?
Faced with a bottle bearing that brand name, Naruto had two options: (1) Projectile vomit or (2) laugh hysterically.
Sasuke didn't even bother glaring as he watched Naruto nearly injure himself with violent laughter. After an appropriate amount of time had elapsed by Sasuke's standards, the Uchiha simply tackled the dobe, almost knocking the wind out of him.
Sakura was still seething as she sat in one of the rooms of Yamato's constructed camp house. The nerve of these people- you would think after all this time a girl would finally get a little respect. Just a little bit, uh huh, just a little bit. But no…in less than two minutes after seeing Sasuke-kun (Ye gods, he was hot though!), she was feeling like a fifth wheel again- the two boys acknowledging only each other. The bastards…
As inner Sakura tired out, outer Sakura was starting to feel a little guilty. It was the first time seeing Sasuke, after all, and she had thrown a hissy fit. He probably thought she was more annoying than ever. Maybe she had taken the whole flashback thing too personally…after all- this was Naruto (Gaara was now on Naruto Flashback #15- the striptease version).
Rising, she hopped out the window and started heading back to Sasuke and Naruto. She opted not to tell Sai and Yamato figuring she would apologise to her original team mates and spend the rest of the day catching up. They could do the whole battling thing tomorrow.
Sasuke gasped and grunted, fighting the urge to shout Naruto's name as he was rocked forward by thrusts increasing in speed and power. His hands twisted into the sheets as he bit down hard on his lip. There was a transient annoyance at the fact that they had wasted so much time, when they could have been doing this all along. He couldn't remember what they had been arguing about…he couldn't remember anything, except Naruto's name.
He felt the blonde withdraw completely from him, and was momentarily bereft at the loss. Naruto was nudging him to lie on his back.
"I want to see you…see you face" Naruto whispered to him hoarsely as he surged into Sasuke again.
Sasuke arched up instinctively, his nails raking down Naruto's back as he yelled out to the boy's name, begging him not to stop. Naruto was grunting above him, shifting slightly to brace himself on one arm. Sasuke felt as if he was losing his mind when a warm fist closed about him, pumping with a speed matching that of the thrusts. Searing heat coursed through Sasuke until he swore Naruto was using some sort of perverted fire jutsu. The fire was consuming him, building and spreading with each thrust of Naruto's hips and pump of his fist. He finally erupted, coming hard against Naruto's stomach. Naruto was still going, making Sasuke arch up, slamming against him repeatedly. They were both saying things to each other, garbled and incomprehensible, but their meanings perfectly clear. Sasuke opened bleary eyes to see Naruto's cerulean ones watching his face. Sasuke was convinced that Naruto's stamina was going to be the death of him. Sasuke was feeling the fire spreading again, hot lava replacing the blood in his veins. He reached up and tugged Naruto down into another kiss, moaning loudly into the other boy's mouth.
"Che, I've looked everywhere! Where are you guys? Naruto, Sasuke-kun! Are you in… … …here?"
Sakura finished weakly as two pairs of eyes snapped up at her voice. A mortified silence stretched out excruciatingly slowly, apparently trapping them all in stasis.
Sasuke was the first to show a reaction of any kind, switching to infuriated glare-mode. The impact was somewhat lessened by the fact that he was currently glaring at her upside-down, his head hanging off the bed.
Naruto scrambled up and off Sasuke, much to the latter's evident annoyance, and attempted to cover himself.
"Sakura-chan, this isn't what it looks like!"
Sakura didn't hear him; she had taken the time to faint dead away to the floor. It is doubtful she would have believed him in any event.
Sasuke got up and headed over to the prone girl. He then proceeded to shove her feet outside as he couldn't close the door with them sticking into the room. After ensuring the door was unhindered, he locked it, bolted it and then placed a few seals about it for extra security.
Naruto was staring at him in utter stupefaction at his callous and insensitive treatment of Sakura, though hypocritically making absolutely no move to assist her or chastise Sasuke.
The raven haired boy was now heading back purposefully to Naruto. Jerking his thumb back at the door, Sasuke smirked evilly.
"Now that… deserves a flashback!"
The End
Motoki: I can't believe they did that to Sakura…
Manservante: I can't believe how gay that was…
KageKitsune: I can't believe it's not butter. (Motoki and Manservante stare at her). But it isn't… See… it says it right on the label.
A/N: Heh, to think that three months ago I didn't even know what yaoi was…If anything I wrote up there is a medical impossibility, tell me. But just know this isn't my area of expertise, so let me down easy (I don't see anything too taxing...although I think outrageous physical yaoi acts are covered by the 'lighten-up-doc-they're-ninja' clause). Well I hoped you liked it. I'm just glad I finally got it out of my head and unto the comp. What did you think? Looking forward to your feedback!