The previous chapter was actually one of my favorites, since I don't think I'm particularly adept at introspective pieces, but I'm quite pleased with the final product. Now this one should get the heart fluttering because it contains a (dare I say it?) kiss! But like I said before, those two don't make it easy for each other. Well, they got to give in some time. :D

I want to apologize in advance, because this part is considerably shorter than the other chapters in this story. I've been having some editing issues, of sorts. But hopefully the flashback in this part makes up for the length.

Oh and just wanted to clarify:

Flashbacks (Italics)

Thoughts in Flashbacks (Bold Italics)

Present (Regular)

Thank you all and if you would be so kind as to review, that would be awesome! Also thank you so much for those who follow this story up with me, it really is inspiring to have that dedicated a reader.

Chapter 12

Betty kept her hand on him as a wave of coughs wracked his body leaving him trembling. He was fortunate that blood no longer accompanied the coughing fits that occasionally assailed him, but he was forced to begrudgingly admit that his health had deteriorated to a level far from his formerly robust state. Tony knew it would take some time before he would cease associating pain with movement.

He focused on catching his breath; looking up when he was certain he would be capable of speaking without wheezing, "I need to get out of here."

She responded with a tender whisper of resignation and understanding, "I know."

Hospital procedure dictated that when a patient was to be discharged, it would succeed a final checkup from their physician, who – if said patient's condition met a satisfactory standard – would then authorize the nurse to assist him or her, removing their IVs and whatnot. Tony, being the impatient and reckless man he was, cared nothing for the process. He simply could not wait until his doctor arrived the next morning, so in his haste to leave what he felt to be an asylum, he unsuccessfully attempted to dress himself. Betty, being the compassionate and hopeless romantic she was, had aided him.

Tony had managed to disappear from the hospital undetected; the night air left him feeling rejuvenated after he had been required to withstand the stale kind in his room for 11 days. He walked as fast as his still-recuperating body would allow; his gait ginger and much slower than he would have preferred but all things considered he thought he made his way to Kate's apartment much quicker than expected. His hope compelled him to move forward, setting him ablaze, the sheer power threatening to consume him, refusing to abate until he were to know for certain that she did not want the same thing he did.

The flames burned ever brighter, but upon reaching her block, the fire within him was abruptly extinguished, reduced to mere embers. His common sense – like a snake slithering predatorily towards its prey – slowly returned, allowing fear and apprehension to coil itself around his mind, depriving him of the foolhardy valor that had forced him from his bed to stand at the entrance of Kate's building. The impulsiveness that had driven him to her apartment faded with every minute he hesitated. Betty had informed him prior to his impromptu departure from the hospital that being faced with one's mortality supposedly put things in perspective. He initially found himself believing that particular philosophy, but the confusion that befuddled him now indicated otherwise.

Unbidden questions arose, each chipping away at his crumbling resolve, leaving him with the conclusion that circumstances would be simpler if he just walked away. Tony's back was already turned when it came upon him; he was conceding, he hadn't even begun and he was already conceding. He was all prepared to turn and leave, to retreat behind the safe pretenses of their game. But then he would be left to ponder what could have been and he knew that it would gnaw at him endlessly if he didn't, at the very least, try.

The strength that had abandoned him seconds before invigorated him once more; his steps held little trepidation as he climbed the stairs leading to her apartment. Tony briefly wondered if this was what Betty had referred to when she had said that his priorities would become clear when death drew frighteningly close, or something to that effect. He marched blindly into the unknown armed with nothing but the hope that she would not push him away. He found it oddly similar to those clichéd scenes in movies when out of nowhere the protagonist experiences a sudden moment of clarity and right there and then, they know exactly what must be done, despite the potential consequences. When he had finally reached her door, regardless of the blood that had immediately rushed to his brain, he had little doubt that this was where his priorities lay.

With her.

Tony took a moment to catch his breath and knocked deliberately on her door, when no response came he assumed that he hadn't tapped on the wood hard enough, but then again with his heart thumping incessantly within him he wasn't sure if he would hear anything. He raised his hand to knock again but before he could proceed, the door opened, revealing Kate with faintly bloodshot eyes and a wary expression that cautioned him to tread carefully. Her head was slightly bowed, but she looked up at him unblinkingly through her lashes, silent.

Tony wondered if he should speak first, but when he had done that in the hospital she had ran. He knew he would crumble if she slammed the door on him. But when the silence stretched to uncomfortable lengths, he opened his mouth to begin, but was interrupted when she spoke.

"What are you doing here, Tony?"

Her voice was soft, but guarded, carrying with it a discernible edge interlaced with fatigue.

Her door was still open, but she hadn't invited him in. He remained outside, where she was safe within the intimacy of her home.

Tony chose his words carefully, using a gentle tone that sounded alien to both of them, "You know why I'm here, Kate."

She straightened herself, staring into his eyes before turning her back on him and venturing into her apartment.

She hadn't closed the door. He entered.

"You should be at the hospital." She sounded angry now. "I don't need to remind you that just a little over two weeks ago you were in critical condition."

Very angry. She wasn't looking at him; he couldn't ascertain if it were out of fear or…something else.

Tony took a step forward, his voice faintly sarcastic, mostly pained, "So you'd only come to see me if I'm dying?"

Kate whirled around to face him, "Tony, this isn't about that—"

He didn't allow her to finish, "This is exactly about that."

She was breathing heavily; her face indignant but then her eyes glazed over and reflected something akin to torment, "I can't do this now."

It was now Tony's turn to be furious as he gritted in impatience, "So when? The next time I catch a plague? The next time I'm about to die?"

Her eyes immediately adopted a dangerous glint at his words, "Don't. Don't even kid about that." Her expression then softened again. Her being hauled to extreme sides of the emotional spectrum at such quick intervals took its physical toll on her body as she ran a tired hand over her eyes, "Why are you here?"

It instantly crossed his mind that this might have been a mistake, their conversation had taken a circular pattern and he was afraid he wouldn't find a way to break it.

He sighed deeply, "For the same reason you're running."

A wry smile swept over her features, "I'm so tired of running."

Tony took two steps closer, "Then stop."

"What about the game?"

He unconsciously took a step back, stung by the apathy in her voice, "Is that all this is to you?"

"Don't try and sensationalize what we have—"

"Don't try cheapening it." Tony bit back the hurt her indifference spurred within him.

She released a bitter laugh; she never laughed like that. Tony found that it didn't suit her.

"Not a skirt-chaser?" OK, drive him away with sarcasm.

"There's only one skirt I'm chasing."

Damn it, why does he have to be so sincere?

He noticed that the gleam in her eyes grew increasingly – tears.

She never cried either.

"Tony…" his name was barely a whisper. "I don't want to do this anymore. I can't. Please go."

She was suddenly very…very tired.

"Kate…" He then noticed just how close they were. "We've been dancing around this for two years."

She blinked, allowing a tear to shimmer on the curve of her lashes, "Please..."

His nearness was not overlooked by her either.

He stepped one foot forward, "You came, Kate. Every night. No one came every night. I was awake, all the times you visited."

She could smell his aftershave; it was intoxicating, but the logical part of her mind, the faction that had seen to her perpetual loneliness conquered and screamed at her, "Push him away, he has to go! You can't do this!"

"It didn't mean anything!"

The tears flowed freely now but in a vain effort to prove he was nothing to her, she shoved him backwards, but his reflexes were much quicker and he gripped her wrists, holding them away, pulling her flush against his body, "Really?! So why did you stay?! When I tested positive for the plague, you could have gotten infected and died with me, but you stayed! Tell me now that that doesn't mean anything?!"

She was too shocked to respond, let alone move so he continued, speaking in a tone they both realized was reserved only for her, "I'm tired too, Kate. I don't want to pretend anymore."

"Please…" Kate ultimately croaked; it was all she could manage.

He grasped her wrists that little bit tighter, not enough to hurt her but to convey that he wasn't finished, "Please just listen to me before I lose my nerve."

Tony shut his eyes, questioning just when the situation between them had gotten so out of hand. His lids then flickered open and he licked his lips.

He noted that her eyes went to it.

He released her wrists which hung limply at her sides, but wasted no time in taking her face in his palms, inches separating them; she didn't resist. He wiped her tears with the pad of his thumbs, breathing slowly, "I won't say I'll never hurt you, because I know I'm going to screw up. I won't say I won't drive you crazy, because I think that's part of the appeal."

A knowing grin formed on Kate's lips as more tears streamed down her cheeks before being wiped away with a tenderness she hadn't imagined he would have possessed.

Tony mirrored her smile, "I won't say those three little words, because I don't know what it is.But I can promise that when I do say it, I'm going to mean it with everything that I am. I've never stuck around long enough with a woman to say goodbye let alone beg, but I'm begging you Kate. Take this chance…" "…on me. On us."

He paused; she was no longer looking at him, but quivering with soundless sobs. Tony tilted her head upwards; her muddy pools glistened with tears, but he thought she had never looked more beautiful, "I know I don't deserve you…" his voice then turned so soft and uncertain, so unlike Tony. "but you make me want to change…so that maybe someday I could."

He could feel the beginnings of resistance as she went rigid, but his hands remained on her face; still gentle, yet firm and insistent, "Don't pull me in if you're going to push me away. Tell me to go and I'll go, but if you ask me to stay…I promise you I won't ever leave."

The voice in Kate's mind that had initially reprimanded her for allowing him to draw this close was eerily silent, but in spite of that, she said nothing.

When it struck Tony that she was not going to offer a response, his eyes grew glassy; she couldn't do it, what could be was too much for her. He dropped his arms in defeat and headed for the door, knowing it would be much too painful to look back. Suddenly, as if everything fell into place Kate realized she didn't want him to leave, she didn't want him walk away from her, from them. She seized his hand before he left her to her lonely existence and whirled him around to face her, tugging him towards her as he had done. Not a sliver of daylight could have possibly passed between them and when she breathed he could feel it against his lips.

"Stay…"

Then she kissed him. With everything she had, with all the desperation and passion of a woman long deprived of what she needed. It had taken him a moment to react but when he had, his hunger rivaled that of her own. The barely-suppressed inferno that raged within them stoked their desire for each other. All thought vanished as pure instinct took over, allowing them to ascend to their pinnacle and unleash two years worth of unresolved tension in one fiery kiss. When they finally broke apart – seconds, minutes later, who knows? – they still clutched each other like a lifeline, both silently hoping the other would never let go.

Tony's eyes reluctantly met Kate's, he was terrified that she would take it back, that she would rather remain on harmless, familiar territory rather than plunge into the dark, endless abyss with him. But when her chocolate pools shone with undisguised joy and no hint of regret, Tony held her even closer, "Have dinner with me tonight."

There was no room for argument.

Kate nodded meekly, not trusting her voice at that moment. He rested his forehead against her own and smiled.

She had stopped running.

Tony wasn't sure how or when he had slumped to the floor, but in his drunken stupor he couldn't bring himself to care. All that mattered was that he had accomplished his objective: drown his sorrows into oblivion. But amidst the haziness of his alcohol-induced state, he could still sense the pain that had driven him to the bottle that night and it dawned on him that nothing – no amount of drinking – could ever eliminate the grief his memories wrought.

His eyes stung with unshed tears and into the dark void of the night he whispered, "Kate…please come back to me."

TBC

Some may find Tony's declaration OOC, but he almost died some two weeks before, that's bound to put things in perspective for him, so I think he might be a bit more open and serious when it comes to Kate. Just thought I'd offer my justification, in case others thought otherwise. :D

Anyway, please read and review!