(AN: This story is complete nonsense. Don't expect any literary genius outta this one. Enjoy!)

Axel and Riku knew that they were geniuses. Out of all the island folk, they were by far the most cunning and wicked.

So when Riku's parents checked out for the weekend, there was nothing to be done but invite Axel over to scheme.

"Check out my parent's stash," Riku whipped open the door to the liquor cabinet.

Axel rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Lets set it on fire!" the pyromaniac exclaimed.

Riku hit him upside the head. "No, you idiot. Lets invite Sora and Roxas over."

They both checked to make sure no one was around and laughed as loudly and evilly as they possibly could.

"ROXAS!" Sora had burst into his other's room and sat himself in the spinning desk chair.

"Whaaaaat?" Roxas inquired of his boisterous other. He was lying face up on his bed, and watched Sora's face go by every time the chair made a full rotation.

"Riku's parents are away tonight. Him and Axel want us to come over and play games and stuff." Sora said, pushing off the floor to go faster and faster.

"What kind of games?" Roxas knew full well the kind of indecent thoughts that went through those pervert's heads. He sure didn't want this game to be one of the "protect Sora's innocence" types.

Sora wobbled off of the chair and swayed around the room in a dizzy stupor. "Probably Life or something random. Who cares? Lets go!"

He pulled Roxas off the bed.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Riku and Axel were covered in strange gooey stuff. Riku's mom was the type with a fake tan and a hundred drunken girlfriends, so they had plenty at their disposal. They fought violently over what should go into the drink they were making, turning the kitchen into a mess of open bottles and fruit guts.

Sora poked his head in the kitchen. "What are you guys doing?" he asked rather innocently. Roxas appeared beside him.

"Drink this." Riku presented a glass of mess to Sora. "I made it."

"Okay!" Sora replied, innocently taking the glass from him and tipping it up.

"Sora-!" Roxas was too late to stop his other from taking a big gulp.

Sora made a horrendous face and spit it back into the cup. "BLECK! That's disgusting!" he commented, holding the glass away from his face.

Roxas snatched it away and sniffed it. The strong smell of alcohol rushed into his nostrils. "Ew! No wonder it tasted terrible!" he promptly dumped the glass down the sink.

"Try mine, Roxas." Axel offered him a glass of pink frothyness.

Roxas eyed Axel suspiciously. He sniffed the glass before, and smacked his lips after. "Yeah, its okay." he commented.

"What else can I drink that isn't going to make me barf?" Sora called, his head immersed in the fridge.

Riku sighed. Perhaps their plan wouldn't work on Sora, either. If his taste buds were so sensitive. There wasn't much around the room that wouldn't make Sora hurl. "There's probably some of my mom's lemonade in there," Riku commented casually.

"I thought we were playing a game or something?" Roxas asked, reminding them of their point.

Axel threw his arm around Roxas and led him into the living room. "We found it in Riku's parent's closet. I don't know the rules," Axel said, plopping onto the couch. He pointed at the drink in Roxas' hand. "Don't tell me you're too sissy to finish drinking that?"

Roxas promptly downed the whole glass. It burned a little in his throat. "Happy?" he glared in Axel's direction.

Axel shrugged. "MY glass was twice as big," he said, waving his ginormous glass at Roxas. Not to be outdone, Roxas marched back into the kitchen.

Riku came out with Sora in tow, sucking on a huge glass of lemonade through a straw.

Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Before anyone could even answer, the door burst open.

People flooded the room almost instantly. Cid placed his mammoth boom box in the middle of the floor and cranked it up until the carpet vibrated.

"What the heck is going on!?" Riku exclaimed. There was a mad giggling coming from his left.

"…Sora?"

"I told Kairi!!" he announced, wandering back into the kitchen.

Axel put his hands over his face. "Which means Kairi told the entire universe!" he concluded as Selphie threw streamers all over the place.

Axel and Riku looked at each other wide-eyed. They rushed into the kitchen to gather up the alcohol before they had a drunken party on their hands. They sighed in relief when it was safely locked away.

Riku once again heard a familiar giggling noise. He tilted his head and followed it to where Sora stood.

He was staring at the counter giggling furiously. Riku approached cautiously.

"Um…whats so funny?" Riku asked.

Sora burst into loud, hysterical laughter and pointed at the object of his attention.

It was a large glass bowl his Mother used for making cookies and such.

"That bowl….is so….BIG!" Sora exclaimed. "I GOTTA show Roxas!" he scampered out of the kitchen.

Riku was royally confused, until he saw IT. The empty lemonade pitcher in the sink meant that not only had Sora drunken all of his Mom's lemonade, the pink top indicated it was his Mom's SPECIAL lemonade.

Riku practically crashed into Axel on his way out of the kitchen.

"Okay, it was a bad idea! I admit it!" Axel waved his arms frantically. Riku raised an eyebrow. "Well, Sora seems to be pretty messed up. I think it was a successful plan."

Axel made a whining noise. "Are you KIDDING?! Look what happened to Roxas!"

Riku looked past Axel to the living room. People were dancing, throwing nerf balls, and playing dirty scrabble. Roxas stood in the middle of them, staring down at the floor. He seemed utterly unaffected by the chaos around him.

Riku and Axel approached him cautiously. Riku spotted the five empty glasses of Axel's tasty concoction on the coffee table. "He went back and got four more glasses of it just to prove that he wasn't a wimp! Now look!" he waved his hand in front of Roxas' face. "I think he's broken!" Axel panicked.

Riku tapped his chin thoughtfully. He wasn't sure what to do. Riku carefully put a hand on Roxas' shoulder. "Roxas-"

"OH. MY. GOD." Roxas suddenly blurted out, pointing downward. "I HAVE THE BIGGEST FREAKING FEET EVER!!!!!" he noticed his own finger pointing and held his hands out. "LOOK AT THE SIZE OF MY HANDS, TOO!"

Riku looked at Axel dumbfounded.

Sora bounded up and Roxas looked like he was about to have a heart attack. "Sora!" he shouted "Sora's are even worse!"

"Its okay, Roxas!" Sora assured him. "You know what it means when we have big hands and big feet?!!?!?!" he said this like it was the most profound knowledge ever.

Roxas looked worried. "What? WHAT?!"

Axel snickered, the dirty wheels turning in his head.

"It means we can share socks and gloves!!! ISNT THAT GREAT??!!!!!" Sora shouted.

Riku snickered. Roxas burst out laughing. "Hey, hey Sora!" Roxas said excitedly. "I bet we can switch clothes too!" He started taking his jacket off.

"This is awesome!" Sora said, unhooking the many straps that held his pants together.

"Sora and Roxas are stripping!!!" Someone yelled from across the room. The music seemed to get louder as the two boys fumbled to take their clothes off.

"What do you guys think you are doing!" Riku protested, making a move to stop them from the unintended strip show. Sora had taken his straps and pockets off and was now hopping around trying to get his shoes off.

"Woah, woah! Riku!" Axel held Riku back. "What are you stopping them for?" he asked. This was obviously all part of the plan!

Riku gave Axel a look. "You want the whole room to see Roxas naked?"

Axel glanced over at the rivers of drool coming from the high school girl's mouths.

"Roxas, don't you dare!" Axel screeched, grabbing his wrists before he could finish getting his belt undone.

Roxas gave him a confused face. "But I wanna switch clothes with Sora!" he whined.

Axel shook his head. "But don't you wanna…don't you wanna…" he searched desperately for something to distract Roxas. He spotted a photo album and shoved it at him. "Look at this! Its Riku's baby pictures!"

Roxas opened the book and burst out laughing. He sat on the ground in the place where he was standing and continued to laugh hysterically.

Riku had no trouble getting Sora to stop undressing. The kid changed subjects faster than his Mom changed diets.

"Riku!" he said excitedly. "I'm made out of bread!"

"…what?" Riku wondered exactly how special that lemonade had been.

Sora nodded furiously. "I'm a piece of bread! Its true! I realized it JUST NOW! So…so…oh! Guess what would be the best idea ever!? GUESS!"

"Um…" Riku had no idea what to say. He hoped this idea didn't involve Sora trying to climb into the oven. "Make a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich?" he joked.

Sora's eyes got all wide and he hugged Riku very suddenly. "You're the smartest guy in the world!" Before Riku could even remotely enjoy Sora squeezing him tight, Sora pulled away. "So you should go get some jelly so we can spread it all over me! It had better be strawberry, too. I know! We can use the key blade to do it!" He instantaneously materialized the key blade out of nowhere.

Riku thought he felt a nose bleed coming on. "Sora, you aren't bread…." he tried to explain calmly.

Sora adopted a hurt expression, dematerialized the key blade, and stalked off.

Riku's mouth gaped, and he didn't know what to say. A picture of himself in diapers flitted past his vision. "What the eff? Where did this come from?!" he looked around the room to see Roxas distributing similar pictures.

Riku snatched the album from Roxas. "Who gave this to you!? Huh?!" he yelled at Roxas in his embarrassment. Roxas' face immediately drooped. He wiped at his eyes. "Axel gave it to me…don't be mad Riku…"

Riku wanted to die. Now he had made Sora AND Roxas upset. This was not his night. He went to find Axel and hit him upside the head.

Riku found Axel at the kitchen table with his laptop. "I'm looking up a remedy to get those two to sober up. This is a disaster." Axel commented.

Roxas entered the kitchen all smiles. Riku sighed. At least the upset face was short lived.

"Axel I wrote you a note!" Roxas exclaimed. He handed Axel a piece of paper that was folded about twenty different times.

Axel opened the note hoping to see hearts all over it and maybe a confession of his passionate and undying desire to-

"What the heck?" Axel exclaimed. The paper said the word "uncle" thirty seven times all over it.

Roxas laughed hysterically and pulled on Riku's arm. "C'mon, I think Sora is looking for you!!" he drug Riku out into the living room.

"RIKU!" Sora yelled, bounding over once more. "I'm NOT bread, you were right!"

Riku smiled faintly. "uhh…I'm glad you realized it, Sora…"

"I'm actually a BIKE!"

"A what?"

"That's so cool!" Roxas interjected.

"I'm a bike!" Sora repeated. "Want a ride! Smooth and comfy!"

Riku's mouth hung open. Yeah. Yeah he wanted a ride. Real bad he wanted a ride. The plan WAS to get Sora drunk to the point in which he was unable to care about a few minor decisions. However, it was so silly and retarded at this point, he almost felt bad.

"ME!" Roxas raised his hand over his head and waved it frantically. "Pick me!"

"Roxas wants a ride?" Sora asked. "Okay!"

There was no way Riku could stop Roxas from jumping onto Sora's back. "Go horsey, go!" Roxas hung on tight around Sora's neck and they took off to the other side of the living room.

Riku, figuring there couldn't be much damage done at this point, hurried back into the kitchen.

"Axel! Did you find ANYTHING?" he asked desperately.

Axel was standing in front of the sink, filling a sports cooler with water. The kind that you dump on your coach at the end of the game. "The only thing I could find was instructions for some weird drink that involved a raw egg, but I figured we didn't need any more vomiting than might already be going on later."

"And? What's with the water?" Riku asked, rather impatiently.

"Well, that or taking a cold shower. If we just dump this all over them, they can be instantly cured."

Riku adopted a "that sounds really stupid" look, but shrugged. What harm could it do, anyway?

Riku helped Axel haul the cooler into the living room. His eyes darted around, searching for Roxas and Sora. He spotted them tangled up together on the twister board.

"Right hand purple!" Roxas yelled.

"There is no purple, silly!" Sora retorted, putting his hand on the blue and toppling them both.

Riku spotted the coffee table next to the laughing heap of Sora and Roxas. He hoisted the cooler onto it.

"What are you doing? Just dump it!" Axel hissed at him.

"We gotta make it look natural or they'll get pissed at us!" Riku said, looking around. He spotted Selphie nearby.

"Hey! Dance with me!" Riku said, grabbing her arm. Selphie didn't object in the least bit. Riku effectively danced her right into the coffee table, jostling the cooler. Its contents cascaded out, all over Roxas and Sora.

"UWAHHHH!!!" They both yelled in unison.

"Whoops," Selphie apologized. She chewed on her lip as if she didn't quite know what to do.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it," Riku assured her, giving her a small shove in Tidus' direction.

"What the HECK?" Roxas exclaimed. He looked down at Sora….beneath him? Roxas blinked.

Sora cocked his head to the side. "You're sitting on top of me," he kindly reminded his other.

Roxas' face turned slightly red as he crawled off Sora. "I'm soaked," he complained.

"Are you guys alright?" Axel asked, picking up the cooler.

"We're WET," Roxas pointed out the obvious to him in a not-so-nice manner.

Sora helped himself off the ground. "C'mon, we'll go borrow some of Riku's clothes." he laughed. "You're hair looks like a limp rooster."

"Shut up, mop head," Roxas retorted, heading down the hall with Sora in tow.

Riku threw a towel down on the carpet. "What happened? Did it work?"

Axel shrugged. "I dunno. They seemed kind of normal. They went to go change clothes in your room."

Riku stared with his mouth open. "Axel. You mean to say, that Roxas and Sora are wet and naked in my room RIGHT NOW?" he looked on the verge of hyperventilation.

Axel's eyes widened and he picked up the nearest wastebasket. He immediately set it on fire and held it up to the smoke alarm. "FIRE!! FIRE!! EVERYONE OUT!"

"Way to clear a room," Riku mumbled.

----------------------------------------------------

"What the heck, he has like three pairs of pink boxers. Riku really is a freak," Roxas observed, holding up a hot pink pair.

Sora peeled his wet jacket and shirt off. "Who cares," he said, unbuckling his belt. "My underwear is still dry anyway. The last thing I want is to be in Riku's boxers."

"How about his pants?" Roxas replied, with a sly grin, peeling his own soaked clothes off.

Sora turned as pink as the boxers, snatching the pair of pants from Roxas. "You're dirty."

"You started it!"

"Did not!"

"Did so!"

Sora promptly tackled Roxas onto Riku's bed and the two boys wrestled to the death, tossing the pillows and covers onto the floor.

Roxas pinned Sora down. "I'm the winner! I'm the-" he looked down at Sora's face. "Uh…Sora? SO-" Roxas suddenly felt like a huge wave had just washed directly over him and he collapsed on top of his unconscious other.

Riku flung the door open. He looked rather wild, having forcefully torn the batteries from the out-of-control smoke detector and fought with Axel to try and extinguish the fire.

He spotted the two boys, half dressed and in a rather inappropriate position on top of his bed.

Axel came up behind him. "What I wouldn't give to be Sora right now," he commented.

Riku sighed exasperatedly, shutting off the light and closing the door quietly. "Hope you like sleeping on the couch, Axel."

-------------------------------------------

Roxas tried to move and realized his legs were caught in some sort of trap. The trap wouldn't let go.

Sora snuggled close to his stuffed bear pillow. Suddenly, his pillow moved. "Five more minutes, Mr. Fuzzle-pants," he murmured.

"What the…Mr. Fuzzle-pants?" Roxas opened his eyes to see a pair familiar bright blue eyes staring back at him.

"Ummm…I'm pretty sure you have no pants on," Sora said, turning slightly red.

Roxas frantically untangled himself from his half-dressed other. He scrambled out of the bed.

"What happened?" he asked, surveying the room. Both of them were scantily clad, their clothes lying in heaps on the floor. The bed was completely destroyed, and it seems they had slept rather…unconventionally close to each other.

"My head hurts," Sora said, burying his face in his hands.

Roxas squinted at the bright light coming in through the window. "Is this…Riku's room?" he asked. Now he really didn't get it.

"Roxas…last night…did we….?" Sora asked timidly.

Roxas held his head in his hands. "Ugh…I don't remember."

Axel opened the door and yawned. "Hey. You guys are up." He looked at Roxas and grinned. "You're hair looks retarded."

"I'm gonna make your face look retarded if you don't tell me what happened last night," Roxas threatened.

"Yeah," Sora backed him up. "Am I still a virgin?"

"SORA!" Roxas and Axel both shouted in unison.

"WHAT?! I have the right to KNOW!" Sora defended himself.

Axel scratched his head in an annoyed fashion. He walked off down the hall. "Chill out, you two. Nothing happened last night." "Unfortunately," he mumbled as an afterthought.

Roxas sat down on the bed with a sigh. Sora crawled over to where he sat. "Hey Roxas?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell anyone about the Mr. Fuzzle-pants thing."

"Whatever."