A Quiet Word

Disclaimer:all characters, settings, situations etc… belong to Lucasfilm. This is only for fun.

A big thank you to Sue for all her help.

Author's note: This ficlet was finally written over four years ago in 2003 although my thoughts about this 'missing scene' from ROTJ have been in my mind for numerous years before that but that was when I only read fanfic and never actually wrote it!

-----------------------------------------

Luke Skywalker exhaled slowly as his X-wing finally touched down on the hangar floor. It had been a long flight. Relief that he had caught up with the fleet was slowly ebbing away, only to be replaced with that increasingly familiar but unwelcome feeling of trepidation.

The events on Dagobah had done nothing to help him. Yoda's affirmation of Vader's…his father's… words. Luke felt lost, unsure what to do. The surety of purpose he'd had rescuing Han, gone. And now he felt left in limbo. How could he kill his own father? He had wanted guidance, but instead, he had found a frail and sick Jedi Master who no longer could help him. Luke had wanted answers but only discovered more questions, more doubts. He had lost so much and felt in danger of losing so much more. More uncertainty was gnawing at him than ever…could he turn to the dark side as his father had? What else had been kept from him?

Nagging suspicions clawed at him, each unsettling and disturbing any peace of mind that he had managed to achieve. Yoda had said he had all the training he required. Now did that mean, they had trained him enough to do their task…or had they trained him enough to be a Jedi Knight? His confidence when rescuing Han had all but gone, just leaving uncertainty behind. Uncertain of what lay ahead for him. Luke was sure that a full-fledged Jedi Knight would not be full of these doubts. A Jedi would be at peace, whereas his mind was too chaotic: too full of the past, the present and several possible futures. All of them clamouring in his brain for attention.

His thoughts kept tumbling, in turmoil, until the slight clang of the ladder on the side of his craft brought him back to reality. Shaking himself out of his reverie, Luke removed his helmet, running his gloved hand through his damp hair, then grinned sheepishly when he noticed the technician watching him curiously. No doubt wondering what he was doing, while anxiously waiting for him to exit.

Nodding his thanks, Luke checked on Artoo. The droid was chirping away as he was lifted down.

"Commander Skywalker?" Turning his head at the deck officer's voice, Luke noticed the lack of personnel in the rest of the hangar. "The High Command are about to start, you may want to head up to the briefing room."

"Thanks, Deck Officer." Luke realised that was the reason the place was near deserted. Most of the pilots were up there already. Those not involved in the briefing would be waiting for their orders from their flight leaders. Quickly stripping off the orange flight suit, Luke rushed up to join them.

He arrived to hear General Madine ask Han about his strike team. Had he heard correctly? General Solo! Madine had referred to Han as a general! Quietly grinning, Luke realised that the change he had noticed in Han on Tatooine was running deeper than he first thought. The former smuggler was now an official part of the Rebel Alliance, and that spoke volumes to Luke.

Hearing Chewie, then Leia, speak up to join Han's command crew, Luke felt drawn to join them and without further thought, he stepped forward and called out. "And I'm with you, too!"

The rest of the briefing dissolved as the friends greeted each other. Leia hugged Luke in welcome and felt a change in him, too.

"What is it, Luke?" She looked in his eyes. He looked so serious, his familiar features seemed so different. She tried to make sense of it. She felt closer to him than ever, yet somehow more distant. The callow youth had gone, and in his place stood someone whom Leia didn't know nearly as well. Had she been so blinded by their search for Han that she had failed to see when this had happened? Luke had certainly changed since Bespin, they all had, but she hadn't noticed how complete the change in him had been until now, all of a sudden.

How could he begin to tell her? Leia was his sister! Vader was their father. How? Searching her eyes, he saw her strength and realised Yoda was right, the Force was strong in his family. But now was not the time to share his news; she would understand in the end.

"Nothing." Luke hoped she would let it pass. "I'll tell you someday."

Han joined the embrace, "Hey, kid…"

"General…" Luke quipped back, instantly feeling less worried. Somehow, even without trying, Han always managed to lighten things up. Luke had desperately missed that talent in the intervening months since Bespin. Now, all the team was back: altogether again and back in action. They would be unstoppable. He felt his optimism resurface.

Luke enjoyed the camaraderie of his close friends, let the feelings wash over him, refreshing him and letting his worries subside for the moment. The friendly banter between the new generals eliciting several laughs from the group. Wedge Antilles and several of the other pilots started to join in the teasing. Luke could feel the positive attitude from the pilots. For a moment, he wished he could go back to just flying X-wings. If only…if only he could forget what he now knew. It was good to have the old rogue back. Slowly disentangling himself from the group, he noticed that Leia looked more happy, more relaxed than he had ever seen her. Gazing around the room, Luke watched the similar huddles of friends and colleagues going through the same potential last farewells. The nearness of the upcoming battle making these few moments special.

Aware of scrutiny, Luke cast round the room to see Mon Mothma covertly watching them. He came to a decision. Catching her eye, Luke nodded discretely to her, then unobtrusively made his way up the stairs. He hoped she would pick up his message. He didn't want Leia to realise what he was up to. Fortunately, she was too busy being distracted by Han and the others.

Mon Mothma had watched the group greet each other, feeling happy for Leia. Her old friend's daughter had never looked more contented. Leia certainly deserved a little happiness. Mothma just hoped that it would last for her.

Just as she was about to look away, her eyes made contact with Luke Skywalker. His blue gaze held hers for a briefest moment. She should have known that he would be aware of her interest. She had a healthy respect for the young man and his abilities. Madine was rather skeptical of Skywalker's talents but Mothma knew and remembered well the Jedi of old. She knew that young man was vital to their efforts.
In some ways, Luke Skywalker was now more important to the Rebel Alliance than herself or any other politician or leader. He, of course, would beg to differ with her opinion; the self-effacing young man was getting too good at stepping out of the spotlight and allowing others to take credit where it really should be his. Madine hadn't understood or realised that yet, but she knew.

The former senator had consciously made an effort to get to know Luke over the last few months. Working with him and Leia during the retrieval of vital information from Tay Vanis had given her the ideal opportunity. Anyway, there was something troubling the young Jedi. He hid it well but she was too adept at reading body language. She would have to find out what it was. Dipping her head in reply to Luke's unspoken request, Mothma watched his black-clad figure quietly leave the briefing room. She would join him as soon as she could make her own exit. She knew that she needed to speak with him and there was not a lot of time.

Luke Skywalker used the time it took Mon Mothma to arrive at her office to try and pull his thoughts in some semblance of an order. What was he going to tell her? He couldn't very well ramble on sounding completely crazy, otherwise she might pull him from the mission. For some reason, he had an urge to tell her everything. Was that the Force prompting him, or was it that he was so desperate to share his burden with someone? How could he tell her this and not Leia? Was he right to tell her before Leia? He no longer knew anymore, but he had to speak to someone, and for whatever reason, Mon Mothma seemed to be the right choice. He hoped that none of the other command staff would arrive and see him waiting here. It would just pique their curiosity. He stopped pacing around the anteroom and turned to see the Rebel leader enter and motion him into her private office.

Mothma realised the Luke was a lot more unsettled than he had appeared to her on first inspection. Close-up, she noticed the signs of stress and strain etched on his face and in his eyes. She wondered how he was going to handle things.

"What is it, Luke?" Mothma wanted to make this as easy as she could for him. She was beginning to suspect that he had found out about his father, but she didn't want to let him know that she already knew without being certain.

The blonde man looked directly at her, the blue gaze piercing her before he looked away again. "I've…I have to tell you some things. I am not sure how you'll take them but…I feel you need to know."

"Go on, Luke." The former politician sat down, trying to encourage the words out of the reticent Jedi.

"I have discovered some things about my father…Anakin Skywalker."
Luke ventured.

"Yes, I knew him, Luke. He was a good man." Mothma watched his reaction to that bit of news.

"You knew him?" Luke's voice slightly cracked with surprise. This was certainly not what he had expected. Why had she only just told him?

"I had some dealings with Obi-Wan Kenobi, your father and other Jedi when I was a senator in the Republic." Mothma paused before continuing, gauging his reaction carefully. She chose her next words cautiously. "In some ways, you are very like him."

Luke was not sure if that was what he wanted to hear. In the past, he would have loved to have been compared to his elusive father, but now it was different. He didn't want to become like his father. His fear was that everything he fought for would come to naught if he turned.

Mothma picked up the small signals: the way Luke's fingers on his left hand tightened momentarily, making the knuckles white, and the way he drew in his breath and held it in for longer than normal. She was certain now that he knew, but how had he found out? It was one of the most closely guarded secrets she had. Now, who had told the young Jedi?

"Yet, in other ways you are not." It was one of the reasons why she took time to get to know this young man. She had feared at one time that he might follow in his father's footsteps. She had been relieved to find Luke a lot more balanced than his father. Still, there was the lack of proper training. That had concerned her - and the Emperor was so twisted and devious - but somehow, she just knew that this young man would be all right.

Luke just looked at her; his insight was telling him that she already knew. But how and why hadn't she mentioned it before? "Do you know?" He asked bluntly.

"Know what Luke?" Mothma half smiled at him, encouraging him. The boy was too clever.

"That Darth Vader was… once… Anakin Skywalker. My father." There, he had said it. He watched her face carefully, intent on studying her reactions. She didn't seem shocked or appalled.

"Yes, I knew, Luke." Mothma watched him just as carefully. He seemed to be startled by her lack of reaction. She watched as the information sank in. He broke eye contact with her, feeling the intense scrutiny a bit much to bear for a second. "I have known for many years, which is why I have taken great interest in your career."

Luke jerked his head back up, "You mean…?"

"Yes. I have watched and wondered about you, Luke." Mothma knew the young man was feeling very insecure. She tried to reassure him. "I have no doubts that you will remain strong, Luke."

Luke just took this in, wishing he felt as confident in himself as others seemed to.

"Your father was a good man before it happened, but he had certain - how should I say it? - attitudes that were quite different to yours. Now would you mind telling me, how did you find out?"

"Vader told me himself. On Bespin." Luke admitted, feeling her confidence helping him. He had expected to be reviled and feared, not this. "I wanted so much to disbelieve it but…."

"Truth is truth, Luke. You cannot discount that. No matter how much it hurts at times." Mothma paused, seeing if he wanted to talk about this.

"I have finally accepted the truth. I have done a lot of thinking recently." Luke hesitating to continue. "I just don't know what to do now."

Mothma let herself smile at the serious young man before her. "We continue to fight this war, Luke. You have a command crew position, I believe, on the mission to Endor."

"I know but…" Luke started.

"There are no buts, Luke. I know I am not a Jedi, but just let the Force guide you, as it has been until now. It hasn't led you astray so far."

"No," Luke smiled in return. He found that he was less concerned about telling Leia. After sharing his fears, a dark cloud had been lifted from his mind. Restraints of his own making that had been slowly suffocating him and preventing him from acting, released as he stopped worrying. "But it has gotten me into a lot of trouble," he quipped.

"There is always trouble wherever there is a Skywalker!" Mon Mothma smiled, glad to see Luke relaxing and looking more settled.

"That's what Han says, I attract trouble." Luke stood up, glancing at his chrono. "Thank you, Mon Mothma. Thank you for taking the time."

"My pleasure, Luke. Glad I could help." She watched him about to leave, then with an afterthought, she called to him, "And Luke?"

He turned back round to look at her. "Yes?"

"Do what you have to." He nodded in understanding at her meaning beneath the words.

"And May the Force be with you!"

The blonde man warmly smiled at her and flicked a jaunty salute in response. With renewed purpose, he strode down to the hangar, to meet up with the rest of his friends. Whatever happened on the forest moon and in the future, he would deal with it – he was now certain – as a Jedi should.

The end