AN: I own nothing.

What if after Darcy's first proposal, Mr. Bennet passes on? (I hate to do it, he's one of my favorite characters) Darcy seems to be the solution to all her family's problems, but can Elizabeth really marry a man she doesn't even like, and could never love?

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"Lizzie, you're absolutely soaked!" exclaimed Charlotte Collins, but Elizabeth didn't seem to hear her. Charlotte turned to her housekeeper, ordering flannel linens and hot bath. "Lizzie, did you hear me? What happened"

"What? Oh, nothing," Elizabeth replied, but that far away look never left her eyes.

"Come on, we have to get you out of those wet things before you catch cold," Charlotte said urging her friend up the stairs. Elizabeth looked down at her wet clothes as if seeing them for the first time, finally breaking out of the fog that had been clouding her senses.

Elizabeth bathed quickly, needing desperately to speak to her best friend. When she entered her room, Charlotte was already there with tea and sandwiches on the little writing table by the window. Elizabeth smiled in spite of her heavy heart, and silently thanked the heavens for a friend like this.

"Ok, what's wrong?" Charlotte asked knowingly.

"Mr. Darcy proposed to me," she said it slowly so there could be no confusion, then waited for the reaction. When all she got was a small smile from her friend, she got suspicious, "Why aren't you shocked? I was dumbfounded."

"Mr. Darcy came here looking for you, when I told him you weren't here I think I broke his heart," the married woman giggled. "I have never seen Mr. Darcy so out of sorts."

"I think… I think he almost kissed me," she couldn't help the blush that accompanied this statement, so she buried her face in her hands. Charlotte couldn't help but laugh again, now Lizzie was just as out of sorts as Mr. Darcy.

"Since when are you so old fashioned? It is not so outlandish to kiss one's own fiancé." Elizabeth peeked out between her fingers, her friend knew in an instant. "You did not accept him," it was not a question, but Charlotte still did not understand. She had seen the pair dancing at the Netherfield Ball, the fire in their eyes was impossible to miss. She saw it again the night before at Lady Catherine's pianoforte, there was something there.

"How could I?" Elizabeth took Charlottes hands, "He told me that he loves me, and yet in that same breath he insulted everything about me."

"Shouldn't we leave the exaggerations to Kitty or Lydia?"

"I'm perfectly serious. He said that he fought his feelings for me, that it went against his better judgment," starting to get angry again. Why is her best friend taking Mr. Darcy's side?

"Did you only reject him because he insulted you," Charlotte's amused smile had disappeared, now she was perfectly serious too.

"No, uh, … there's um…," the reasons that Elizabeth had given Darcy now escaped her. Her eyes searched the room as if her reasons were hiding behind the curtains or under the rug. Charlotte decided that telling Lizzie what she didn't want to hear would get her nowhere, she had to let her figure it out for herself.

"Mr. Collins will be wondering where we are hiding," Elizabeth didn't even try to hide her grimace. "And, I'm sure he will be terribly disappointed when I inform him that you won't be joining us for dinner, due to a slight fever acquired while walking in the rain," Charlotte patted her hand as she left the room.

Elizabeth tried to sort out the thoughts that rushed about her head. The face of defeat and sorrow kept haunting her. She had never seen such deep and sincere agony, nor had she ever knowingly caused such pain. But Mr. Darcy had caused great pain too, to Jane and to Wickam. Had he felt as much anguish as he had caused? Now matter how she tried to tell herself that he deserved it guilt still plagued her. This process of rationalization and self loathing was exhausting. She was asleep by the time dinner was sent up.

Waking early, Elizabeth went for a walk to clear her thoughts. Unfortunately the subject of her thoughts must have had the same idea, for after only a quarter of an hour, their paths crossed.

"Good morning, Mr. Darcy," Elizabeth said formally and with out breaking her stride.

"Wait, Miss Elizabeth!" Darcy caught up to her quickly, easily falling into step. "I'd like to explain, if you'd let me."

"You seem quite determined, Mr. Darcy, I doubt I could stop you," Elizabeth held on to her formality, trying desperately not to meet his eyes. She knew if she saw that sorrow again she would apologize, so her stubborn nature kept her eyes forward and frozen in indifference.

They walked on and Mr. Darcy earnestly apologized for his misunderstanding of Jane's nature and moved on to the subject of Wickam. Elizabeth noted his change in tone, but still refused to look at him, that is until he told her of Georgiana's connection. Her wide eyes turned to him only to find that he was now looking away. Elizabeth was speechless.

"You needn't worry, I will not renew the sentiments you found so disgusting yesterday… I just didn't want anyone else fooled by Wickham's charm."

"Thank you," Elizabeth realized that this was not nearly enough, but couldn't find the words. She was rescued by Charlotte's voice, calling to her from across the way. She smiled instinctively at Charlotte, but there were tears in her eyes when she reached pair. "Charlotte, slow down. What is it?"

"Lizzie, your father has died," Charlotte said bluntly, wishing that there was a nicer way to put it.

She could not speak, she could not move. Elizabeth felt as if the ground was trembling and the world was spinning backwards. Her father, her dear father was gone, lost forever. She was not there to say goodbye, to hear the last wisdom he would ever impart. She couldn't breath, then suddenly she was falling. She was aware of the ground rising up to meet her, but the impact she felt was not that of her hitting the ground. It was Mr. Darcy catching her. In that moment the safety she felt allowed her to let go. Elizabeth stopped fighting to stay conscious and drifted into the approaching darkness.

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This is my first, so would really appreciate reviews. Thanks.