The World is Full of Grays
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Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters or plots in the story. If I did, it would be a hell of a lot more evil! Ohhh!!! And sex!!! Also, I do not own the song (S)AINT by Marilyn Manson.
Warning: Okay, this fic contains a lot of concepts.
Well, I don't know how to describe this fic. Really. Just kind of came to me. I was in an angry mood, and I thought, hey, why not do a quick story. Eh…it's not unexpected for me. We'll see how it goes, for this may just be an outlet for my pent up anger against my mom, and frankly I'm not in the mood to run away again.
Gets a bit creepy outside late at night. Go figure…
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It's in Harry's POV the whole story.
Oh, he was a tricky one. That little twinkle in his eye, trying to fool me. As if he thinks he is some type of fatherly figure. In a sense, I guess you could see it that way. No, he didn't take care of me, but oh, he created me. He taught, until the student surpassed and realized the truth. The truth of his surroundings; the truth in his heart. The barrier fell around my protected walls, consisting of constant friends, and overwhelming support. Keeping me on track, setting my expectations impossibly high.
Maybe, that's what drove me away; maybe that's what made me see the blunt, cold reality in which was mine. Eyes blurred in a dream; I finally woke up. And, at first it upset me, but then intrigued and fascinated me.
-I don't care if your world is ending today
Because I wasn't invited to it anyway
You said I tasted famous so I drew you a heart
But now I'm not an artist, I'm a fucking work of art-
Headmaster Dumbledore, the wise and brave. His students and the wizarding world put before his own safety. Part of the order, and ultimately the strongest of us all.
But…
You see, that changed. I'll give him that he's wise…oh…so very wise. But not in the good sense I'm afraid. Conniving, manipulative, and absolutely believable. Showing that played warm smile and curved, affectionate eyes. Brave, never. He sent in others to do his work. The only part he liked about the wizarding world was it was there to praise him. Without them, he was nothing. Strong, yes, once though. He's lost his touch; it's been a bit too long.
My friends, or so I've been led to believe, are weak. Pathetic. Worthless. Though, I would give them applause on their acting skills, all these long years, they fooled me.
In the pit of my stomach, I told myself this is all so weird. So wrong. They're different around you than anyone else. Everyone is. Everyone is fake, different towards me. Almost as though one wrong, displeasing word, would ruin everything.
And it hit me like a ton of bricks. They're keeping me happy; showing me the greatness of the light. Poking, prodding, injecting their idiotic morals into my mind. These morals that aren't even their own.
I wonder how much they were bribed?
-I got an F and a C, and I got a K too
And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like U-
It was hard, I guess at first, realizing how easily I was deceived. Seeing how much hell I was being put through for these traitors, fake bastards! At the time, I had wondered if anything in my life was real.
Ironic how when you say stuff like that, the answer hits you like a ton of bricks.
And…it did. A certain blond answer had hit me in the face, hard. Not really sure what I had done at the time, but I remember the conversation well.
--Flashback--
"Shit Malfoy that hurt! What the fuck did I do this time!" I screamed, what was he trying to prove?
He paused and looked at me. "Everything and nothing."
Well, if that confused you don't worry, you weren't alone. "What the hell kind of answer is that Malfoy?" I bellowed.
Malfoy stood there, fist-shaking, head held low. I heard a growl, and then a sigh while he raised his head. Eyes meeting mine, he seemed upset almost. Confused, hurt maybe?
"Why can't you ever just be what they say?" Malfoy started.
"What do you mean?" I questioned, I had considerably calmed down once I took a good look at him.
"They say you're the hero, golden-boy. They say you're perfect at everything and everyone befriends you. They say that you have an excellent life and interact 'properly' with muggles. They say you're always happy, never hurt deliberately, and has unconditional mercy. They say you will save us all, and be the next Dumbledore himself." Malfoy paused and looked up. "So tell me, how can so many people be wrong? Why are they all so fucking wrong?"
It shocked me, and I wondered where he had gotten the idea. I guess he had over heard my fight with Ron. It was a brutal one. In which, we are no longer friends, and are at opposing sides.
"Tell me the same Malfoy. You're supposed to be the Dark Prince of all Slytherins. You're supposed to excel them all in power and one day be the heir to the Malfoy fortune. You supposed to follow in you're father's footsteps and become the strongest death eater yet. You're supposed to hate everyone and have no mercy. Give no second chances, torture for fun, and never show emotion, especially love. So tell me, why are you not what you're supposed to be?"
About a month ago, I heard bad news about Voldemort's right hand man killing an innocent. I knew exactly who that was. Lucius Malfoy, and I had a hunch Draco might have know something about it. So I went to the dungeons to force him to come out and talk. Either he would tell me or I would force him to myself.
But, before I could even get there, Blaise had stopped me and told me everything. About how different Malfoy was from what he's seen as. How he is nothing like Lucius. And how he was slowly slipping.
-You wanted perfect, you got your perfect
Now I'm too perfect for someone like you
I was a dandy in the ghetto with a snow white smile
But you'll never be as perfect whatever you do-
We looked at each other for a minute or two until I motioned for Draco to follow me to my head boy room. Closed quarters, and alone where no one could interrupt us.
"Well?" I asked him suddenly, as the portrait shut and I resided myself on my queen sized bed.
"Well what? I asked you first."
He was right, he had. "Well, what exactly do you wish to know?"
"I want to know what you're really like." Malfoy said strongly. Oh well, I guess I should. He may have been the only one who had never lied directly to me. We all had made assumptions on him.
"Well, as for hero, kind of, but not really. Sure I save a couple people, but I thought that was because I thought they meant something to me. Perfect anything but, and everyone befriends me through bribery. Not my own I'll have you know. Excellent, depends on you're out look on the word and interacting with muggles…half the time I wish I would never have to see another one again. Home life with them was hell. I lived under the fucking stairs for the first eleven years of my life. I was given my cousins second room out of fear."
"Finally, after a year, somehow they realized I was unable to do magic outside of school and used it to their advantage. They put me back under the stairs. I was the maid, I was beaten, and half of the other stuff, I can even tell if it was an illusion, or if it was real. Fuck acting properly with those barbarians! I would like nothing more than to torture them until they would be begging me for death."
I paused and took a deep breath, stopping my anger-fueled rampage. "As for saving everyone, I will not. I will not be their prophecy; their martyr. And never…never will I be the next Dumbledore. I will be greater, I will upstage him, and if he gets in my way I will kill him."
There, I had said it. Though, I never had said it like that. Never that truthful, never that detailed. Ron had read my journal, that's how he found out. He called me a death eater, and the next Voldemort. Needless to say, I laughed and told him maybe I would be.
-What's my name? What's my name?
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
Hold the S because I am an ain't-
It seemed Malfoy was contemplating everything I had said. "Well, I didn't expect to hear such words out of your mouth. Bravo Potter."
I scowled. "Your turn Malfoy."
Oddly he laughed. He bit his lip and threw into a fit of laughter. Then he abruptly stopped and smirked at me. "Me? I'm crazy." I quirked my eyebrow at him, urging him to continue. "My father, rest his soul, is dead now. Of coarse I'm sure you've read it. But oh, the murderer is unknown." He laughed again.
"I did it. I did, and I'd do it again and again if given the chance. I put mother under the Imperius Curse. Making her kill my father. Then, with I laughed and made her do it to herself. She never was that strong. I'm rich now though. It's all mine. So evil, dark, torturer sure. Never show emotion? Pfft…I'm a psychologist's wet dream. The Dark Lord came to me though, sending his ever-knowing regards. He knew I killed them, and asked me to join still."
He twirled around with a glazed look in his eyes. "I spit in his wine glass and sent him on his way. I may get killed but after this little chat Potter, I wouldn't be surprised if you sent me to St. Mungos." He paused once more. "I did always wonder what it would be like there…"
-I am bone top, a deathset, on a mop stick
You infected me to diamonds, I took all your shit
Your sell-by-date expired so you had to be sold
I'm a suffer-genius and then a sex symbol-
Oddly, I couldn't stop staring at him with my mouth slightly agape. Why didn't I ever see this beauty before? I was amazed in his accomplishments, and I wasn't sure why. "So Malfoy, you're evil simply to be?"
The blond smirked and replied. "Malfoys' bow down to no one. Not some has-been half-breed. What's the fun in that?" Draco pondered for a minute and stared at me for a while, as though analyzing me. "I'm somewhat surprised you're not running to tell someone, anyone really, just to get me locked up for good."
"Nah, you at least admitted you're crazy unlike many others. And, I do prefer someone on my mind level."
"Do you now?" Draco slowly crept closer until they were an inch apart. "You're still not running." To his surprise, I met him with a kiss. Not some mushy, love-filled kiss you see in those muggle movies. But a fiery, rough, bruising kiss. He compelled, and by this point, I wasn't shocked. We continued until we were trying to steal the breath from each other's lungs. We broke apart finally, I suppose I had a bit to live for, but wouldn't that be a hell of a way to die. What would Ms. Rita Skeeter think now?
We lunged at one another. Violently ripping clothes off in the gentlest of ways, if at so possible. With one hand he pulled my vest off. And with his miraculously perfect mouth, he undid each and every one of my shirt buttons. It was amazing, feeling the slightest brushes of his pink-velvety tongue on my now scorching flesh.
He moved back up and captured my mouth, ravishing me senseless.
He had me as his, and I willing gave in.
Before I knew it, my lower clothing was tossed and forgotten as this 'god' before me kneaded my cock while twisting and tweaking my perk nipples. I couldn't contain the moan that fell from my lips. I couldn't control my muscles that caused me to squirm around and arch my back. He licked the pre-cum from my tip, and then gently blowing it sending a chill from my head to my toes. Before I even had to time to readjust, a warm cavern engulfed my member instantly filling me with heated pleasure.
There were no words for how it felt. He knew every spot, every point. Shamelessly I hollered and moaned, making my enjoyment known. I felt the pull at my groin and he stayed as my liquid essence filled his sweet tasting mouth. Though my vision blurred with glistening tears, my other senses were still somewhat able. As I heard the gulp and the feel of his atoms apple trailing against my inner thigh making it known that he had in fact swallowed. That alone almost hardened me again.
He came up with a trademark Malfoy smirk plastered on his full pink lips. And though more wanted to be said, all that would come was, "Fuck me Draco. Fuck me until I can't walk again. Make my lungs useless."
Draco Malfoy had no complaints it seemed. He flipped me over, removing the rest of his clothes. Suddenly a finger began to probe my insides. I expected lubrication. But, this was Draco and a full-blown Slytherin. I should have expected the roughness.
It hurt at first, being fingered dry, but after his slender fingers found my prostate nothing mattered. One, two, maybe three fingers stretched me. I couldn't tell, and I didn't care either. I felt the digits slip out as something much larger took its place.
Saying it hurt was an understatement. He was huge and it was sending waves of pain throughout my entire body. Yet, I pushed back. He hissed and adjusted himself.
Draco began a slow, steady rhythm. "So fucking…unnh…tight." I heard him moan. After that, all conscious thought was dead. He hit my prostate hard and white stars blazed in front of my eyes. I matched his now heavy thrusts for everything I was worth. His muffled moans and heavy breathing was barely audible in comparison to the slapping of our flesh and my screams. He was fucking me raw and I was howling like a virgin.
With my last bit of sense, I reached around and pumped my own cock at the pace we were going. As we came I believed myself to be blind. My legs and arms gave out on me and I collapsed onto my bed. His pale, sweaty body followed suit.
In what seemed like ages, we sat there; the only sound was our heavy breathing trying to regulate. The first to regain the art of speaking was Draco. "Not everything's as black and white as it seems."
"The world is full of grays."
--End Flashback--
Today, I am on my way to confront The Hogwarts Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore.
I stepped up to his office entrance. "Chocolate dollop." The guy was a crackpot, why he chose those passwords I'd never know, nor wished to. I stepped onto the stairs as they began to steadily rise up in a spiraled motion. Walking into his unorganized and cluttered office, I had to step over many items littering the floor. Through the oddly placed hanging lights, I saw him leaning over some paperwork on his desk. I didn't know he did actual work.
"Dumbledore." He jumped slightly and looked up to me with a warm smile. Fake, absolutely fake.
"Hello my dear boy, take a seat. Now, what can I do for you?" The old wizard questioned as he haphazardly bundled his parchments together and put them aside.
I kept my eyes forward and put my masks away. "I'm afraid I have to decline on the friendly visit setting and end this properly." It seemed that he had no response for me. I could tell he was trying to read me by staring in my eyes, but having observed his ways for this long, I knew how to block him out. He realized my capability in doing so, causing a slight frown on his worn face.
-You wanted perfect, you got your perfect
Now I'm too perfect for someone like you
I was a dandy in the ghetto with a snow white smile
But you'll never be as perfect whatever you do-
"I'm afraid I've figured you out Albus. You've manipulated me ever since I met you face to face. As a baby, knowing I had lived, you had to have me. You knew I could do what you were never capable of. The defeat of Voldemort. Not to mention you're a coward and haven't used your own wand in an offensive attack in ages."
"And, as if that wasn't enough, to add to your plan, you made sure Weasley and Granger were in on this. You made them be my friends through bribery and promises. You tricked me, and put me in that hellhole with those despicable muggles! You knew! I know you knew what they were doing to me! You fucking knew and yet you still told people it was for my own good. That me being there was for my own protection and safety!"
"Now, Harry…"
"Shut it you old fool! Don't you see what you did to me? You made me this way! You made me despise this place! You put the weight of the world on my shoulders at age eleven and I will never forgive you for it. I hate everyone I believed I knew because of you!"
-What's my name? What's my name?
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
Hold the S because I am an ain't-
"Glad I'm thought of so highly." A familiar drawl said, round the corner with boots clacking. "And look who I found spying of the stairs edge."
I turned around and saw the gorgeous figure of Draco with each of my 'friends' in his hands. "Hermione, Ron, how wonderful of you to join us." Draco smirked and effortlessly threw the two Gryffindors at the knees of the headmaster. "Did you hear everything?" I asked.
"Yes…" Hermione had started, but was cut off by the loudmouth of the sixth Weasley child.
"Harry! You jerk! I can't believe you actually have the nerve to say that to him! He's helped you with so much! And we've been nothing but friends to you!"
"Oh yes, such wonderful friends. One's that lie; that are bribed! That went along with me living at the Dursley's! I told you what they did, but did you listen, no! Hermione, you even said my mind might have been playing tricks on me with all my added stress. How dare you even consider yourselves as friends!"
"Harry, this is preposterous. Please think of what you're saying." Dumbledore finally spoke up.
"Oh, I have. And I know it's all true." I said icily.
"With what proof?!" Ron bellowed.
"We know the truth. Don't even try and play this Weasley. You know it's true, and yet you still try and play it. Is it because you're afraid of losing what you were promised to keep him in line? And you, headmaster, were terrified of losing your only hope in defeating Voldemort, for you might actually have to die for a cause. In which you will, no worries there." Draco spoke up for the first time, and I was glad he did.
-I got an F and a C, and I got a K too I got an F and a C, and I got a K too
And the only thing that's missing is U
And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like U-
"Real rich coming from someone like you! You're a death eater! I know it! And you're talking to us like this!" Ron's face had begun to match his hair color.
"What proof do you have Mr. Malfoy?" Dumbledore spoke softly.
"Well, first off you've denied nothing, just answered questions with questions. But, don't you think one of us would have an insider in the order?" Draco licked his lips. "You're pathetic you know."
"See!? He is a death eater!" The idiot continued to yell, in which made him sound guiltier.
I stepped forward and examined the extremely quiet Hermione. "So, what did you offer you? Money? Power? Or wait, advance placements…that must me it. A good word to the best schools and full scholarships. Ah yes, there's the fear in your eyes." I paused and looked over to Ron. "There is no question what you got. You wanted fame. You wanted money. I'm sure you were promised it all once Voldemort was defeated, eh?" I smirked, and Hermione's weak cries filled the room.
Draco's shoes began to clack against the hard wood floor as he approached me. "Oh give up the tears Mudblood! It makes you look even more pathetic." Draco then wrapped his slender, yet strong arms around my waist and propped his head in the crook of my neck.
The three of them couldn't be more stunned looking. So, to top it off, I pulled Draco into a mind-blowing kiss. He easily obliged causing a moan to come forth from myself. I stopped the fest to stare back at them and Ron looked like he was about to throw up. Definitely not his best look.
It seemed finally the redhead was able to speak. "So this is why you're acting so weird! Malfoy's screwed with your mind! Don't believe him Harry! Don't…"
"Oh come off it Ron. You know what you did. And plus, I knew this before I started my relationship with Draco. He just made my life so much better." I said calmly.
-I am the penny in the ghetto with a snow white smile
Super ego-bitch, I've been evil a while-
"So love, what should we do with them?" Draco asked, inspecting each of their faces.
"Hmm, I say we give them a polite warning." Then I leaned towards his numerously pierced ear and whispered. "You put the two weaklings under Crucio and I'll do the same for the old man."
"Simple, yet gets to the point." The blond said in approval. Almost in sync, we grabbed are wands and yelled the spell out.
The two Gryffindor's screamed out first and started to shake on the floor in agony. They grabbed onto one another futilely for support. Surprisingly Dumbledore held his own for a while, standing up still and biting his lip. But once I saw his glasses shake off and the blood drip from his bottom lip, I knew that was it. He fell to his knees and gave a hoarse cry.
"This is pain. This is only the tip of the iceberg on what you deserve from me. You all are weak and when the war comes I hope you fall dishonorably. I motioned Draco to pull of the curse as I did. We sharply turned and walked in the direction of the door.
Smoothly Draco came to a stop and turned around. "Oh and Weasley." Ron weakly looked up the blond. Draco smoothly rolled up his sleeves to show bare, flawless pale forearms. "It seems you were wrong." He then grabbed my arm and left the way we came.
-I am a dandy in the ghetto with a snow white smile
Super ego-bitch, I've been evil a while-
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Time passed. Draco and I graduated from Hogwarts with flying colors. We never spoke to the three of them again, and thanked Godfather Severus for all his help.
I'm happy for once in my life. I'm crazy and in love with one Draco Malfoy.
As for the war, it came and passed. At first, I was to have nothing to do with it, but they threatened Draco and I. There was no question. I would kill him and anyone who stood in my way.
In the end, I fought Voldemort as the prophecy had said. I won of coarse, using the killing curse on him, though, that was after I tortured him ruthlessly. Had to have a bit of fun right? Draco helped anyway, he's good at those type of things. He said he couldn't shake the adrenaline you feel when you kill; that it is amazing. He let me have the last blow. And he was right, it was.
I felt the power flow up to my right hand and shoot out of the wand. Bits of my magic was still present as part of me, I could feel the initial blow hit him. It was like I had killed him with my bare hands, in one punch. As his energy faded into nothing, dying with his red eyes wide open.
It was like an orgasm for the mind.
Dumbledore came up to congratulate me on the defeat of Voldemort. He tried to sweet talk me into taking some high-ranking job at the school as the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher. I refused. He told me it was over, and that I was over reacting. He said I needed to remember my true friends.
And I told him he was right.
He looked shocked, but offered his hand to me. He told me to forget the people who didn't care.
And I told him he was right.
I lifted my wand to him, and his eyes lost their twinkle. The last words that my dear headmaster heard were that of 'Avada Kadavra' from his star pupil. He had made me that way. His loss I suppose.
As Draco and I began to walk, we saw a sight that so deserved. Ron was in shackles, in the dark cave where the battle took place. It had been the Dark Lord's hideout. He was dead; blood dripping down his body. It seemed he had died by a Crucio that never did end. Hermione was next to him. Her eyes transfixed on nothing. Tears were freely streaming down her face and she didn't move.
I felt nothing towards the scene except for closure. It's what they deserved.
That was the last time I ever saw Ms. Hermione Granger. She supposedly never talked coherent sentences after that and would only murmur to herself. She was emitted into St. Mungos' Hospital and that was that.
As for Draco and I. We're doing fine. We're and odd couple though. Very odd. Draco was right, you never get the full feeling of death off of you're hands. It was a hell of an adrenaline rush. I still wish to do it again.
We don't work, and we live at the Malfoy Manor. With both of our inheritance, we have enough money to buy all the people of Britain a mansion.
At first, nobody knew where I went. But then, some found me and I had many people come and thank me. I told them to get the hell away from me or I'd kill them. Heh…sometimes I did.
But then, something happened I did not expect. A group of about twenty showed up at my doorstep one late night. Draco and I asked them their business, and they offered their services.
They explained how we were the strongest wizards of all time. We killed the crème da la crème, and they wished to follow us as the next Dark Lord.
They were the followers of Voldemort, what was left anyway. They explained that there were at least seventy more, and plenty of room to grow.
Draco and I thought about it, standing outside in the cold December air.
"We don't wish to be the next Voldemort for the dark. Nor do we wish to be the next Dumbledore light." I had said. I glanced to Draco and he finished for me.
"We will be both. Both black and white. And we will rule everything. "
When the world destroys the blacks and whites, grays are the only thing left to grasp.
And the world is full of grays
-What's my name? What's my name? What's my name? What's my name?
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
Hold the S because I am an ain't
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
Hold the S because I am an ain't-
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Bit odd I know. It was weird ending it. Ohwell. I'd appreciate reviews if anyone is willing to give.
-Black