The Beating of a Heart
I stared at Radu with disbelief. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. It all had to be a lie. There wasn't a way that he could believe what he was saying… that anything he was saying was true. 'He… He wouldn't do that. Radu… he has to be hurt or something… he just wants someone to listen to him…' My heart was pounding as I stared at my best friend, my best friend who had stated before that I was meant to die.
"Radu… why Radu? Why would you say such things?" I asked him, tears forming in my eyes.
"Because Ion, that is just meant to happen. Your death has to seem like it was done by terrans so the Empire will wage war on the Vatican," Radu explained with a slight smirk.
Radu was my best friend, my brother, and he was proclaiming to betraying me? How could I possibly believe him when we were so close?
"You can't mean that Radu!" I cried to him, tears falling down my cheeks, "We can find a way to let the Empress know… We can change this and make it work! It doesn't have to be this way!"
My voice was going screechy, like it normally did when I was angry or shouting. 'He can't… There's no way Radu could really feel that way…'
"What is the Empress going to do? Listen to a lowly Methuselah like me?" he asked with an upset expression.
Radu was speaking his mind now. Even as he held out the gun, having it pointed towards me, it sounded like he wanted me to listen… to let someone know how he was feeling for once.
"She wouldn't listen to someone like me. She chose you as her precious On boy, not me. What use could she possibly have for someone like me?" Radu asked coldly, letting out some of his pain.
"Radu…" I whispered, my heart pounding in my ears now.
----
I close my eyes, close the door,
I won't worry anymore.
I've been waiting for you every day and every night.
Cut the light, let it fade.
I don't want to be afraid.
I've been waiting for you.
----
Radu's dark eyes looked at me with pain in them and it hurt me greatly to see that. If I had known that he had been hurting like this, then I would have tried to do something.
"I'm sorry Radu," I apologized, "I didn't want to become her on boy… You should have said something. We could have asked the Empress before we left the Empire…"
"I'm telling you Ion, she wouldn't listen," Radu nearly growled, "That woman cares nothing about the Empire or its people. Making peace with the terrans would solve nothing. It would only cause devastation."
"That's a lie!"
I denied it, denied it all. I was being selfish, like I always was. Because I was usually acting selfish, Radu probably never told me anything because I would only deny his thoughts.
"She cares about the Methuselah, Radu. If she didn't then she wouldn't be trying so hard!" I shouted, my tears still falling down my cheeks.
'I'm afraid… I don't want to lose him. I don't want to lose Radu… He's my best friend… He means everything to me!'
"She doesn't try Ion. All she does is sit on her throne and make demands! She doesn't do anything for the Empire!" Radu growled at me.
I took a step towards him and heard the gun click. He was really planning on shooting me. My best friend wanted to kill me.
"Please Radu, stop," I said quietly, "I don't care if you kill me, just please try to realize what you're doing."
"I'm well aware of what I'm doing, boy."
----
Tonight it is right, star shine bright.
I just want to be with you.
I celebrate,
pray for the day when all my wishes will be coming true.
My heart beats like a drum like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
And my fears have a beat like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
----
He had never called me that before. There was never a day in my life where I had heard such resentment in Radu's voice. 'Does he really hate me? How… How could something like this be happening after everything we went through together?'
"I'm sorry Radu… Please, you have to believe me. If I had known that you felt this way then I would never have come here!" I cried, my heart aching as it pounded, "I would never have come to the Vatican if I knew that it was going to hurt you!"
"I think you did know," he said coldly, almost hatefully, "I tried telling you, but I think that you weren't paying attention. Ever since you became the Earl of Memphis, I seem to mean so little to you."
I nearly froze at those words. They hurt unlike anything else, and it felt like my heart being crushed with the pressure. 'Did I ignore him? I thought we spent almost everyday together…'
"That's not true Radu… You have no idea…"
I couldn't put it into words. The meaning of the feeling that was crushing my chest, my heart.
----
My heart beats like a drum like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
And my fears have a beat like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
I think of you everyday.
I've been waiting for a call,
just the sound of your voice any time in any way.
Dream of you since that day
when I saw you the first time at the hard rock café.
----
I watched Radu with wide eyes; tears still welling up in them. I wanted to understand what he was thinking… all the things that were going through his mind as he kept saying these words. 'I don't understand…'
"Save me the mellow dramatics Ion. I'm tired of playing this game with you," Radu stated, moving the gun slightly.
"But Radu… please you have to listen!" I begged, wanting to tell him how I felt.
"I don't want to listen anymore Ion! I'm not your servant!" he growled, closing his eyes with furrowed eyebrows.
I saw it as an opportunity and silently came closer to him.
"I never saw you as a servant Radu… You're my best friend, how could you be a servant to me?" I asked, rather hurt.
----
Tonight it is right, star shine bright.
I just really want to be with you.
I celebrate,
wait for the day
when all my wishes will be coming true.
My heart beats like a drum like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
And my fears have a beat like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
My heart beats like a drum like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
And my fears have a beat like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
----
I was about to sneak up behind him and grab his wrists like he had to Esther at one time, but he opened his eyes before I could. 'Wait… that look in his eyes… It doesn't look like he hates me at all. It looks like he's… sorry…'
"You say that too lightly Tovaras," he said quietly, trying to force him self to stay upset.
"Radu, why do you keep saying things that you don't mean at all?" I asked, taking the chance of stepping closer to him again.
I was only a few steps away now. The gun was still pointed towards me, at the ready to be fired. Only a few more steps and I could be killed by my best friend.
"Because I have to," he said in a pained voice, wincing as if the words were forbidden, "I have to kill you… I have to…"
'He has to?'
"D-do you want to?" I asked him rather nervously.
Now wasn't the time to lose my nerve.
"I don't want to… I don't want to have to kill you, Tovaras," he said lowly, lowering the gun and looking at the ground, "I'm sorry."
My tears suddenly stopped. At least they did until Radu looked at me with those pain filled eyes again.
"What do I mean to you?" he asked, "Why would you come to meet me if you knew you were supposed to die?"
'He wants to know… He wants to know what this feeling means. What if I'm not sure that I should tell him?' I took in a breath as my heart started to pound again, harder and a little different than before. I could feel heat coming to my face as a blush started to form.
"Radu," I whispered, looking to the side, "You mean everything to me. I came to meet you because I didn't want to lose you…"
"Enough said," Radu whispered, dropping the gun.
I felt his arms wrap around me, holding me tightly against his chest, which caused my blush to deepen.
"You mean everything to me as well Ion," he whispered into my ear, "Thank you for understanding."
---
I close my eyes, close the door,
I won't worry anymore.
I've been waiting for you.
My heart beats like a drum like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
And my fears have a beat like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
My heart beats like a drum like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
And my fears have a beat like a drum,
dum dum dum,
dum dum dum.
----
End of One Shot