Ryter: You know who this is.
Harpie: Actually a good amount of them probably don't know who the hell you are.
Ryter: (Sighing) Fine then. That's Harpie, the bad one.
Harpie: and this is Ryter the worse one.
Ryter: Together we're...
Harpie: Really annoying!
Ryter: Actually I was going to say Ryter Harpie.
Harpie:(Mumbling) Next time I want top billing.
Ryter: Anyhow please enjoy our oneshot.
Harpie: Or don't whatever.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, and I'm not sure who wrote this song, or if anyone did but it wasn't me dawgs.
Sango singing
Inuyasha singing
"regular talk"
Sango and Inuyasha singing together
Inuyasha looked at everyone in his pack. They all had the same expression of complete and utter confusion that he had. He looked back at the small tavarn in front of them. Kagome had spotted the jewel shard weeks ago, and was sure that it was here, but...
"Hey, wench, or you positive that the shards in this dump?"
"SIT BOY!"
Inuyasha was immediatly dragged to the ground by the prayer beads that encircled his neck. Kagome walked over him and into the tavern, after taking a quick look at Inuyasha Miroku and Sango followed her, while Shippo poked at his head with a stick.
"Geez Inuyasha, you'd think you'd learn not to tick Kagome off like that."
"Aw, shut-up you stupid runt."
Inuyasha finally entered the tavern a few moments later dusting off dust and sand that covered him.The others stood standing around a stage that stood in the middle of the room.
"What the hell Kagome! Why'd you sit me!?"
She tossed her head to the side and turned away from him.
"You know what you did. Anyway we have a problem."
"Yeah your attitude."
He mumbled under his breath. Kagome turned a deep shade of furious red.
"Inuyasha."
He could hear the threat in her voice and gulped. He knew what that tone was a fore cast to.
"What's the problem Kagome, Is there a demon here."
He started to sniff the air, but couldn't smell a demonic presence. What he could smell was Sango's intoxicating scent. It seemed that the longer he had been around her, the more and more he was being drawn to her. She was strong, calm, beautiful, and...
'Engaged to the monk. Snap out of it Inuyasha, she's a demon slayer for God's sake.'
Oh, he knew that. Knew it very well. It was cruel, his taste in women. One was a priestess, the other her incarnation, and the only one of the three women he had fallen far that he could actually see himself being with for all time, was not only a demon slayer, but engaged.
"HELLO, INUYASHA! IS THERE ANYONE HOME!"
He brought his hands to his ears as Kagome shouted into them. The damn wench had a shriek like a dying cat.
"What is it Kagome?!"
"I said that you and Sango are going to have to sing."
"WHAT!? THERE IS NOT WAY THAT YOU COULD POSSIBLE GET ME ON THAT STAGE TO SING! WHY WOULD ANYONE DO SOMETHING SO IDIOTIC?!"
"Because the jewel shard is first prize."
He huffed and flexed his claws.
"Feh. I could easily take it from the person who has it."
Miroku put his hand on Inuyasha's shoulder.
"I don't think that would be a great idea. You see, the ones who have the jewel shard are."
"Us."
Inuyasha turned around and came face to face with two strange women. They were the same height, one had bright red hair that was braided into a long ponytail and black bangs, while the other had black hair and red bangs. The black haired girl was the first to speak.
"Yo. I'm Harpie, and I'm assuming you're here for this thing."
She held up a jewel shard that was tinged black, but still shone pink. Inuyasha smirked and cracked his knuckles.
"Yeah, that's exactly what we're looking for. Why don't you two be good little girls and hand it over."
Before Inuyasha had anytime to react the swish of a blade barley missed him. The red haired girl pulled the blade of the scythe out of the ground and smiled warmly at him.
"I'm sorry beautiful, but violence will not be allowed here. After all this is a sacred place for the dead. Oh, and F.Y.I I'm Ryter."
Shippo jumped into Kagome's arms at this.
"Wh...What do you mean the dead?"
The black haired girl appeared in front of Kagome in a flash. She petted Shippo gently on the head and smiled sadistically at him.
"Yeah, little buddy look around. There are spirits everywhere, and they're waiting for a show."
For the first time everyone looked around. Everywhere they looked a dead spirit floated here and there. Some of them looked peaceful enough, but others looked as if they had died horribly. At this point the Ryter stood beside Harpie smiling sweetly.
"Yep, and they deserve to leave this life with a smile, Don't cha think?"
"So the set up is this. The two with auras that match the most sing for them. If they enjoy it you go free with this little trinket."
"If they don't, They'll tear you apart in a slow torturous fashion and your eternal souls will stay here as our floor show until you make them happy. Kay?"
Inuyasha almost hit the ground in shock.
"NO! It's not 'Kay' what is is stupid."
"Well you coud always just let them eat you and your friends now."
Inuyasha growled and contemplated simply killing these two, but then he remembered they're blinding speed and changed his mind quickly. These two made Kouga look like a wounded turtle. Without another thought he grabbed hold of Sango and pulled her onto the stage. Once there they looked at each other. Sango leaned close to Inuyasha and whispered into his ear.
"What are we supposed to sing?"
"How the hell should I know?"
Two objects came whizzing through the air towards them. Sango caught one and Inuyasha caught the other. They were strange devices. They were black and looked a lot like the ice cream cones that Kagome had brought from her time once. As soon as Sango brought one to her face to examine it she felt something brew inside her. From nowhere a song that she didn't know came tumbling from her lips. She looked towards Inuyasha and glared, barely holding on to her control as she belted out the song.
"Like the man said who the fuck needs a love song."
Inuyasha looked at her for a moment, and then his eyes returned her glare with the same intensity before his body started to sing along with hers.
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on! Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song!"
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song."
Strange music started to play around them, they didn't hear it. They could see or feel anything but each other, and a strange feeling at the back of their minds that was growing. Sango started up again.
"Yeah you already know me love you for a long time.
Don't give me no nickel, I go for the hot dime."
Inuyasha smirked as he started in on his verse.
"Let me play my games and you can do the same.
Cause talkin' all that love shit just drives me insane."
"Like the man said who the fuck needs a love song."
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on.
Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song."
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song."
This time Inuyasha started off. He was basically screaming into the mike never letting his amber eyes leave Sango's body
"Alright I ride that pony with my thick stick
and when you suck that lolli I just gotta lick my lips."
Sango gave him a knowing smirk, that wasn't all the fault of the enchanted mike.
"I know you want to knock it I've seen you when I rock my hips
But I gotta tell ya I don't mouth no Small "
There was a pause that lasted for only a split second. During this pause she looked at Miroku who blushed at her stare.
"Like the man said who the fuck needs a love song."
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on.
Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song."
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song."
Inuyasha moved closer to Sango sneaking one hand behind her to cup her butt.
"You know You're my kinda chick."
Sango pressed herself into him and rocked her hips a little.
"If you think so now just wait until later."
Inuyasha growled a little. He planned on making sure she kept her promise
"Then let's hurry up and wrap up this song."
"That's not the only thing you'll be wrapping up."
They pushed away from each other and turned back towards the audience so that they could scream out the chorus to the song again.
"Like the man said wh the fuck needs a love song."
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on.
Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song."
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song!"
"For all my ladies out there that don't need a love song
leave your man at home and find someone to ride on."
"To all of my fellas who don't want no love song
find yo self a woman who's willin' to go along."
"For all you ladies who's man just can't hit it hard.
Meet me out back I'm handin' out my buisness card."
Inuyasha winked at Sango and watched as she smirked back at him.
"For all my men who's ladies just don't seem tight.
Know my door is open and I'm up on it all night."
"Like the man said wh the fuck needs a love song."
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on.
Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song."
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song!"
Sango fanned herself off as Inuyasha watched the sweat roll off her body, a part of his anatomy grew along with the feeling of lust that ws starting to over ride his mind.
"This song is starting to get long and hard."
Inuyasha gave her a toothy grin.
"Yeah and it ain't the only thing."
Sango looked him over appraisingly.
"Fine, but we better finish this up before I break a sweat."
"I'm sure I can make you sweat, and scream, and..."
Sango playfully shoved him and giggled.
"Come on."
Inuyasha could already hear her moaning.
"I was getting to that."
"Like the man said wh the fuck needs a love song."
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on.
Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song."
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song!"
The bent down and started to bang their heads to the rythme of the phantom music. Then they started to sing together.
"Love song love song love love love love love song.
Love song love song love love love love love song.
Love song love song love love love love love song.
Love song love song love love love love love song."
They were basically screaming into the crowd as they started to reach the climax.
"Come on all my people sing it one mo' time!"
"Like the man said wh the fuck needs a love song."
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on.
Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song."
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song!"
"Like the man said wh the fuck needs a love song."
"I don't need a love song just something to get it on.
Like the woman said who the hell needs a love song."
"Dj change that record and play me a rock song!"
They smiled at the crowd. The effect of the microphone was quickly wearing off, but the lust they felt towards each other was only growing. Before all of it's magic was gone they shouted out they're last lines together.
"Thank-you! This was for all you horny mutha fuckin' animals! Grab somebody to screw, we will! Good night! Adios! See ya later! Fuck well and Fuck off!"
As soon as the words had left they're lips Inuyasha scooped up Sango and started off towards the woods. Kagome stared wide eyed not comprehending what had happened while Shippo sat on her shoulder complete confused, because he hadn't understood any of the lyrics. Miroku on the other hand was too busy hitting on two beautiful dead girls to fully realize that anything had happened. Harpie and Ryter looked at each other.
"Well, that worked brilliantly. I think that everyone will get what they want don't you?"
Ryter nodded. Then stopped.
"Hey, do you think that they'll remember the jewel thingy?"
"Eventually, I suppose, but when they do, it'll be fun to make the other two sing."
"Awwww...I wanted the foxling to sing!"
Ryter: (smiling and showing fangs) Yep. I think the song is called 'Who Needs A Love Song.' but I'm not sure. If you find out who does it please tell me.
Harpie: And regardless you should always review.
Ryter: (Holding up her hands like claws as her eyes twinkled red.) Yessss...Review my Preciousssssss...Reviewwwwww...
Harpie: I'm bringing out the holy water, ya'll send in some reviews.