The sun shone brightly through the trees as he started up his SUV and made his way to the interstate. This is not what he thought he would be doing on this clear June morning. Spencer Reid thought he would be back at work as a profiler for the BAU but instead here he was traveling down the highway going who knew where. He had seen the FBI psychiatrist and he had reports from his drug councilors that said he was clean and ready to return to work but it appeared that Supervisory Special Agent Aaron Hotchner had other ideas. When he went to the office to present his evaluations to his supervisor before his return to work, Hotch said he felt Reid needed more time off and insisted that he take some of the vacation time that he had accumulated.

"But Hotch, I don't need any more time off, I want to return to work"

"I know you do Reid." Hotch replied "but you have been through quite an ordeal with the kidnapping, the drug addiction and then rehab. I think you need a little more time to get back to where you were before this happened."

"Hotch, the psychiatrist and the drug councilors both agree that I'm okay to return to duty."

"I am well aware of that Reid, I have read their reports. I am also aware that you are so well versed in psychology that you could easily tell a psychiatrist what he wants to hear. I'm not saying you did this but you have enough knowledge to conduct psych evaluations, I feel you probably have no difficulty passing one.

"Hotch! Maybe you just don't trust me anymore, is that it. Maybe you think because I lied about using the drugs, that I'm lying about being clean. Well, don't worry, I won't be able to hide it now, remember I have to pee in a cup every week probably for the rest of my career."

"Look Reid, take a week okay, just a week, that's not a long time. Just relax and recharge your batteries. This discussion is over."

Right now, driving along the Virginia blacktop with no particular place to go, a week seemed like an eternity. He stopped at a truck stop for some coffee and thought he better make a decision about where he was going to go. There was a display of maps for nearby states and he closed his eyes and picked one at random. This was not the way Spencer usually made decisions. Anyone who knew him would have laughed at him closing his eyes and picking a destination. Spencer Reid, genius profiler for the FBI, with an IQ of 187 always made decisions logically and with a great deal of thought. Well, that was before he was taken prisoner by Tobias Hankel in Georgia and had been tortured physically, emotionally and psychologically. Since then his decision making had not been stellar. So here he was in a truck stop holding a map of, he slowly turned it over, Kentucky.

As he proceeded westward, Reid went over in his mind some of the things he knew about Kentucky.

15th state of the union

The bluegrass state

From the Iroquoin word Ken-tah-ten meaning land of tomorrow

State bird-cardinal, state flower-goldenrod, state tree-tulip poplar

State motto-United we stand divided we fall

Capital city-Frankfort Major cities- Louisville, Lexington

Noted for tobacco whiskey and, of course the best horse flesh in the country

And Mammoth Cave National Park and that he decided is where he'd go.

That decided, he pulled over and studied the map more closely, planning a route for his journey. Although he tried to concentrate on what he would see and do while in Kentucky, his mind kept returning to Quantico, to the FBI, to his team, his family. The team had been dumbfounded by his Dilaudid addiction. They knew his ordeal with Tobias was unlike anything any of them had ever experienced, but they somehow expected him to be stronger in dealing with it. Gideon, as always, had been a stalwart source of strength. He had of course, been disappointed, as Reid knew he would. It was his biggest regret, that he had disappointed the man who had been a mentor and father figure to him since they had met over four years ago.

"Thank you all for attending, I hope I gave you something to think about." Students started filing out of the lecture theatre. "Excuse me," Gideon said as he approached Reid and extended his hand, "Jason Gideon, you had some very interesting questions. Are you interested in the field of profiling?"

Reid took the proffered hand and shook it "Dr. Spencer Reid, it's an honor to meet you."

"Doctor," Gideon replied, surprised.

"Yes," Spencer responded, "I have two Phd's and am working on my third. As for profiling, it's not really something I had thought a lot about but it does sound like an interesting profession."

"Would you like to have a cup of coffee and talk," Gideon asked. "I was very interested in your questions and I feel you have the mindset and talents that are invaluable in a profiler."

Reid found himself smiling at the older man, "I'd like that," he said.

They had come a long way in four years and Reid hoped that the decisions he had made after his ordeal in Georgia, would not affect his relationship with the man he considered a father. No, that couldn't happen, he wouldn't let it happen.

Like Gideon, Hotch had been stunned when he found out Reid had been injecting himself with Dilaudid. With Hotch, emotions were always difficult to gauge. Hotch kept his feelings so tightly in check, it was very hard for Reid to tell where things stood with him. He had been disappointed and angry and there was something else that Reid couldn't quite identify but saw in Hotch's eyes whenever he looked at his supervisor. Maybe, in time, he would let Reid in on his feelings. Reid felt he'd have to wait until, if ever, Hotch was ready to reveal these emotions.

Morgan, his best friend, had looked like he wanted to go and throttle someone, but since Reid had already taken care of the bastard he felt was responsible, he just paced around like a caged tiger, wanting to punch walls and break things. Eventually he had let his anger and hurt erupt on Reid, asking how Reid could have let this happen. Didn't he know the damage that could be done, especially considering his family history? Didn't he know that the older profiler was always there for him, that they all were? Didn't Reid know, as Morgan's tears started falling, that Reid was a brother to him? Didn't he know how much he loved him, how much they all did? With the tears continuing to fall he gathered Reid into an embrace and held him like he would a child, reassuring him that they would all get through this together.

JJ, oh JJ, she was an entirely different matter, altogether. Instead of blaming Tobias or Reid, himself or even the fates, she took the blame for Reid's situation on herself. Reid had tried to get her to understand that none of what happened was her fault but JJ felt that if she had had his back, none of this would have happened. He admitted that he was the one who chose to separate and he was the one that ran into the corn field, leaving her, although he didn't know it at the time, in peril of the dogs. But nothing he said then or since could convince her that all that had happened to him wasn't her fault. He could see in her eyes every time he looked at her, a sadness that had not been there before, and it was killing him to think that he was the one that put it there.

Poor Emily had borne the brunt of all the worst side effects of his Dilaudid addiction. He had been rude to her and, on occasion, downright nasty. He had spoken harshly to her and had lied to her. She took it early on and believed, just as everyone had, that he had a case of PTSD. She soon grew weary of his poor treatment of her; who could blame her, Reid thought. She had been the first person to call him on his behavior, probably because she didn't have the same emotions invested in their relationship as the others. When the truth came out she almost looked as if she now understood what had precipitated the bad behavior and would be willing to forgive and start over, for which Reid was grateful.

Lastly, there was Garcia, who had been the one sitting in front of the computers, having to watch every moment of what had taken place in Georgia, or at least all that Tobias would allow to be seen. She fell apart after finding out what had happened to Reid in the aftermath of the kidnapping. Her usual jovial outlook disappeared and she seemed to feel that if something like this could befall her precious Reid, what hope was there in the world. However, once the team got together and decided they were going to get through this with him together and her sunny outlook was much needed for his recovery, she bounced back somewhat, although none of the team would ever look at the world in quite the same way again.

With thoughts of his team uppermost in his mind, he realized that he had traveled a fair distance and up ahead he saw a roadblock with a detour due to road construction. Oh just my luck, he thought, turning onto the detour road. He didn't know exactly what road he was on as he hadn't seen any signs but he kept driving confident that there would be a sign soon letting him know exactly where he was. He suddenly slammed on the brakes. What the hell was that in the middle of the road?