Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor anything by Stephenie Meyer.

What Happened to Bella

by: DarkInuyashaangel101

Harsh rain splattered on the roof, making the sound of percussion echo through out the large, empty room. The accompanying of the blowing wind with the rain against the windows made my mood dim even more, keeping me awake in my agony. I was, once again, in the position I've been in for the past three years at night, when the apartment was quiet. The comfort of the couch no longer existed for me, but it still acted as a barrier, a safe haven so I don't lose myself to the pain. Like always, the tissue box is not far, and the phone farther, unplugged. The tissue I have scrunched in my hand is still wet from my tears. They come silently, now, but freely. I am grateful that the sobs have long last died about a year ago, leaving me numb, but, strangely, still feeling. The pain that was forever stowed upon me has ceased to go away, though I dreadfully admit, not as sharp. There is still happiness in my life, though. My light and my soul. Someone who keeps me from leaving myself every time I think back. And, of course, the promise I made to him, so very long ago, yet I remember like my own first name. The day my soul went away.

I struggle to keep awake, but the business of the day's duties were taking it's toll. Like always, I fight against it and, body protesting, I win. Just a little bit longer. Just a little bit longer to look into the happy days. The days when he was here. When I wasn't alone. When I was happily in love, not love that I'm struggling to hold on to. Love that's not returned. Not anymore.

I begin to feel the tears coming on again when I hear the small creak of the bedroom door, and the patter, patter of little feet. I smile sadly to myself and turn my head and let go of the tight grip I have around my shins, letting my legs drop slowly.

The little body is half hidden by the doorframe, and his little hands clutch at the side of the door. His big, brown eyes stare at me, clutching his bear in the other arm tighter.

"Mommy?"

I smile through my teary vision and hastily wipe away the tears with my used tissue and set it down on the coffee table. I then open my arms to him and he comes eagerly across the room, into my lap on the worn couch. I stroke his soft, reddish hair as he looks sadly up at me.

"It's okay, baby. Mommy's okay. There's nothing to worry about."

He still looks a little sad but then cuddles up to me, reassured for the moment. I smile sadly again and hold him close, stroking his back now comfortingly. The tears come again, but I'm not worried. He can't see me with his head in my shoulder and it's way past his bedtime, so he's falling asleep again. With effort, I haul myself up cautiously so I don't disturb him and walk across the apartment floor to his bedroom. The little blue walls covered with boats is shadowed by the small night light by the bed. I softly place my three-year-old son into his bed. His eyes are closed now and he cuddles up to his bed, like he did with my arms, asleep. I look down at him fondly and cover him up with his blankets, biting my lip. I kiss his red-brown hair and then I whisper to him,

"Goodnight, little Edward. I love you."

I get up and walk out, closing the door on my way out. I throw all the used tissues out and climb into my own bed, exhausted. Of course, the pain always comes again, but I push it away for now. I need to have enough energy to put on my happy mask for tomorrow. Being a single mom is hard, but I wouldn't give little Edward away for the world. He's the only thing that's keeping me from dying because of the pain. Edward's gone. It took me a long time to accept it, but I have. I live now everyday for our son. And for Edward. And for the promise I made to him. It's a sad life, but it's mine. And I wouldn't give up the love I have felt in my heart, nor the pain, for anything.

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A/N: Don't ask, because I don't know anything about what happened and why. This just came to me after I read New Moon (probably because I was feeling depressed).