THERAPY FOR TWO

Abuse plus emotional baggage equals therapy for two

For the purposes of this story, Lindsay's past had nothing to do with murdered friends. And I am in no way qualified as a therapist. This is fiction, you know 

CSI:NY

At the end of her shift, Lindsay approached the elevator, when she heard Danny call out to her, "Lindsay Monroe, I'd like to talk to you."

She glanced at him curiously; he sounded quite serious. "Yeah, Danny? He directed her into the closest empty office. "I have an appointment so I can't stay long."

"I just want you to know that I…I care about you. Okay? I don't know what's holding you back, but I really want to be with you." He noticed that she looked scared, but after she was tackled by that suspect, he knew that he had to tell her what was on his mind. Everyone thought he overreacted by trying to get at the man even after he was subdued. It wasn't business. It was personal.

"Danny, I've had a couple of…bad…relationships. I don't want to carry my emotional baggage into any potential relationships. I still have trust issues that won't allow me to be with anyone. I'm doing the best I can to move on with my life, and for me, that means that I have to be alone."

"Everyone has emotional baggage, Lindsay. What exactly are we talking about here? I mean is it just me or is it men in general?"

Lindsay looked away. She knew that if she would ever get her point across to Danny that she was not suitable relationship material, she would have to lay it all on the line.

"Danny, it's not you. Believe me, if there was anyone to make me throw out my 'no dating' rule, it would be you. I just…I've been through so much." She closed her eyes and drew in a breath. "Danny, I wasn't just in bad relationships, I was in abusive relationships."

She paused to let him ponder her revelation. He looked hurt and confused.

"So, what, you think I'm going to hit you? I would never hurt you…"

"I know. It's not about you. I had two relationships that started out great, but eventually they…changed. Right now I'm in therapy trying to work through my issues. Believe me, I'm a lot more trusting than I was a couple of years ago. It's going to take a lot of time, and I'm not sure I'll ever be ready."

"You know what? Therapy is great, but you can't really move on if you don't take a chance by trusting someone enough to actually be in a relationship. The way that I see it, therapy gives you the tools to do the hard work within a real relationship, doing whatever it takes to maintain it."

"I agree. I just don't think that I'm ready for the practical application part of this journey." Lindsay smiled.

"I think it's like parenthood. You're never really ready, but once you're in it, it can be the most rewarding experience you've ever had."

"My therapist says…"

"You know what? I'd like to go to therapy with you."

Lindsay chuckled. "What?"

He spoke more slowly this time. "I would like to go to therapy with you."

"Danny, I'm paying for an hour a week to meet with her. This is my time."

"How about I pay for it so it'll be our time?"

Lindsay rolled her eyes. Danny waited patiently for her response.

"Fine, Danny."

CSI:NY

Inside the waiting room, Danny perused a magazine while Lindsay was a nervous wreck about what was about to take place. Was this considered couple's therapy even if they weren't a couple?

The door to their left opened and a client came out followed by Lindsay's therapist. She gave the client a sheepish look that said 'I'm being polite by acknowledging your presence, but if we see each other on the street, we're total strangers.'

The therapist looked at Lindsay, and then at Danny, whom she didn't recognize, and back at Lindsay. "Are you ready?"

Lindsay nodded and looked at Danny to prompt him to follow her into the room.

"Miriam, this is Danny Messer." She didn't know if she could clarify their relationship, so she just let it go at a nominal introduction.

Miriam extended her hand and shook Danny's.

"How ya doing?"

"Fine. It's nice to meet you." She closed the door behind them and they all took their seats. Danny sat on the loveseat with Lindsay and Miriam sat in the recliner in the corner. The sound of the mini electrical fountain on the coffee table distracted him. He found that it sounded more like someone using a urinal than a babbling brook.

"So, Danny," Miriam rescued him from his reverie, "I'm glad you could join us. Are you here as an observer or a participant?" Her eyes moved from Danny to Lindsay trying to find an answer.

Lindsay said, "We're…not…really…sure yet." Had this been a mistake? She and Danny looked at each other and he saw the uncertainty on her face.

He addressed Miriam, "Lindsay told me about her past…relationships and her trust issues." He turned to gaze at Lindsay. "She told me that she can't see herself in another relationship. She says she's moving on, but I don't see how she can really move on if she can't get past her past."

Miriam nodded her head. "How do you feel about this, Lindsay?"

"Miriam, you know how I feel. I'm not ready for a relationship, despite what you and Danny say. He's not exactly unbiased anyway."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean…He's made it clear to me that he wants to be in a relationship with me How can I believe him when he says I'm ready for a relationship? It could be self-serving."

"Montana, do you really think I would lie to you so that we could have a relationship? Come on!"

Miriam decided to intervene because their conversation was quickly becoming heated.

"Lindsay, is it alright for me to share some of the things you've talked to me about?"

Lindsay nodded.

"You've been coming here since you moved to New York and in that time, how many dates have you had?"

Lindsay squirmed on her seat while Danny looked at her expectantly.

"You know that I haven't been on any," she said quietly, though seething with anger.

"Don't you think it's time to give it a try?"

"What? And treat Danny like a guinea pig? What if I can't trust him the way he deserves to be trusted? I can't guarantee him that I will be able to do that."

"Who's guaranteed anything in life?" Miriam asked.

"Lindsay, all I'm asking for is a chance, a chance to see where this could go. I can't guarantee you that in the end I will be what you want. Just…give us a chance. Why do you think of yourself as damaged goods, as if you're the only one who could doom a relationship? I have a past too, and the difference between you and me is that I don't let it keep me from pursuing happiness. I'm telling you right now that I don't want to just be friends with you." He grabbed her hand and quietly said, "Trust me, Lindsay."

Lindsay wanted to give in because she really liked him and she didn't trust anyone more than she trusted him. But she was so used to keeping her walls up, she knew that if she pursued this that she had a lot of work to do to tear them down. She also knew that she'd need a lot of patience and support for that to happen.

Danny said, "How about we come here every week together, alright? Make sure we communicate and open up to each other. If you're feeling unsure about something, we can talk about it."

Lindsay leaned into him until her head was on his shoulder. She nodded and quietly said, "Okay."

He wrapped his arms around her and they hugged for a while with Miriam looking on, smiling. It didn't escape her that Danny managed to do in one session what she couldn't do in two years. Actually, they had worked together to help Lindsay to move forward.

Lindsay pulled back and said, "So, Messer, now you can say you picked up a girl in a shrink's office. I think you get triple points for that one," Lindsay joked.

"Does that mean I win the prize?" She looked into his eyes and knew what he meant.

She smiled radiantly and hugged him again. "I think I won the prize."