Napoleon Randomness
Napoleon: Gosh, Pedro! What's your problem? You ate all the cheese crackers.
Kip: Why do you care? I bought them.
Napoleon: So. I'm the only one around here who eats 'em.
Kip: Gees Napoleon. It's not my fault you don't have enough money to buy yourself a box of crackers.
Napoleon: Shut-up Kip! Stop acting like a pineapple!
Kip: Why do you get so mad all the time?
Napoleon: Why do you think?
Kip: Gees Napoleon, I don't know.
Napoleon: Well you should or I'm gonna hurt your soul!
Kip: So, I asked Lafonda out.
Napoleon: Where are you going?
Kip: Just to the bridge to talk.
Napoleon: Cool. Is it murder if I accidentally push her off?
Kip: Yes! Napoleon. Why did you ask me that?
Napoleon: I thought it would be funny.
Kip: Well, it's not.
Sitting on the couch watching TV.
Napoleon: Knock, knock.
Kip: Who's there?
Napoleon: Dwain.
Kip: Dwain who?
Napoleon: Dwain the bathtub I'm dwowning.
Kip: Gees Napoleon. That was a waste of my time.
The phone rings at Pedro's house and Pedro answers it
Pedro: He-llo?
Napoleon: Remember your next door neighbor, the really old guy? Well, remember when you threw a rock at him and he died?
Pedro: No.
Napoleon: Oh. Ok. Bye.
Pedro: Bye.
Napoleon's house
Kip: So, Napoleon, what are you gonna do today?
Napoleon: Whatever I want to, Gosh!
Kip: Gees Napoleon, you don't have to get so mad.
Napoleon: So, how's your girlfriend?
Kip: Well, things are getting pretty serious now, I mean, I haven't gotten a full body shot yet. So, I guess you can say it's getting pretty serious.
Kip's at the computer
Napoleon: What are you doing?
Kip: Talking to babes.
Napoleon: Gosh! I don't understand why they like YOU! You're such a jerk!
Kip: Napoleon, it's not my fault you're not attractive.
Napoleon: Shut-up you sassy little…mumbling
Kip: What?!
Napoleon: Nothing.
At school
Napoleon: Pedro.
Pedro: Yeah?
Napoleon: I think Kip and I are gonna chop down one of the trees in the back yard.
Pedro: Why?
Napoleon: Because we feel like it.
Debb: Hi Napoleon.
Napoleon: Hey.
Debb: So, what kind of bees do you like?
Napoleon: I like bumble bees, carpenter bees, honey bees, baby bees, mama bees, papa bees, fat bees, skinny bees, spelling bees…
Debb: Ok. I get it.
Napoleon: I can go on if you want.
Debb: No. I gotta go. Bye.
Napoleon: Bye.
Pedro: Whoa.
Napoleon: What.
Pedro: Look at that girl's tattoo.
Napoleon: I can't see it.
Pedro: I can.
Napoleon: Oh, I'll use my super-handy-dandy-secret-spy-gear-focusers.
Pedro: What?
Napoleon: The zoom on my cell-phone.
Pedro: You don't have a cell-phone.
Napoleon: I do in my head.
At home
Kip: Hey, Napoleon.
Napoleon: Yeah?
Kip: Say something.
Napoleon: Why?
Kip: Just say something.
Napoleon: But I don't want to.
Kip: Napoleon, just do it.
Napoleon: Fine. A flat house.
Kip: Napoleon. Why do you have to act so stupid all the time?
Napoleon: You told me to say something.
Kip: Name a vegetable.
Napoleon: Um…a pineapple.
Kip: Napoleon, number one, a pineapple isn't a vegetable. Number two, you're retarded.
Napoleon: Sorry I'm not perfect.
Kip: I'm sorry to.
Napoleon: Fine! Gosh! You flippin idiot!
Kip: Napoleon. What time is it?
Napoleon: Um…9:60 p.m.
Kip: Napoleon. There's no such time as 9:60 p.m.
Napoleon: Well, apparently there is.
Kip: Napoleon, it's 9:06 p.m.
Napoleon: Oh.
Kip: Gees, Napoleon. Not only do you not know what a vegetable is, you also don't know how to tell time.
Napoleon: Gosh! Sorry I'm so retarded.
Kip: No, it's not that. You're just special and you don't have a good education.
Napoleon: Shut-up you flippin idiot!
Napoleon: Kip, what is 88 k's on a p?
Kip: Gees Napoleon I don't. Figure it out yourself.
Napoleon: Hey, Kip.
Kip: What Napoleon.
Napoleon: There's pineco in the tree.
Kip: What? There's no such thing.
Napoleon: Yes, there is.
Kip: No, there's not Napoleon.
Napoleon: Come see for yourself.
Kip: Gees Napoleon. It's a three dimensional piece of paper.
Napoleon: No it's not.
Kip: Oh. Gees, Napoleon. For once you're right.
Napoleon: I told you. Yesssssssssssss.