Disclaimer: I own neither Sirius Black nor the rights to this song.
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This Night
Billy Joel
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Didn't I say
I wasn't ready for a romance
Didn't we promise
We would only be friends
And so we danced
Though it was only a slow dance
I started breaking my promises
Right there and then
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"Ah, hello, Mr. Black."
I winced and turned around to come face to face with Argus Filch, the caretaker of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Ever since I "accidentally" set his robes afire in my first year, Filch has been out to get me, not to mention my good friends and fellow Marauders, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, and Remus Lupin. After years of always being caught by him, we formulated a magical map to let us know his whereabouts at all times, so that we could easily avoid him and his ruddy kitten.
It just so happened that I wasn't with my friends tonight. And James had the map.
"And Miss Jorkins, how good to see you."
The girl whom I had recently been snogging made a small noise.
Filch smiled maliciously. "Why don't you two come out of that broom closet?"
Yes. We were in a broom closet. I, Sirius Black, was caught snogging a girl, in a broom closet. You can't blame me, though. It was past curfew, and the girl was from Hufflepuff. What else was I supposed to do?
"All right, that's a detention for the two of you. Mr. Lupin, would you be so kind to escort Miss Jorkins back to her common room?"
I watched as my friend, Remus Lupin – a prefect! the nerve of him – walked the girl I had been snogging back to Hufflepuff's common room.
"As for you, Mr. Black, you can go with Miss Tempest."
I sighed and began following the said girl back to Gryffindor Tower. As she walked ahead of me, I studied her. She had long, dark brown hair, which fell to her mid-back. She was a good deal four inches short than me, with curves in all the right places. I knew she was in my year. In fact, I think her name was Tamara. Tamara Tempest. Has a nice ring to it.
"So, Tamara-" I began.
"I suggest you don't talk to me, Black," she snapped.
"Why the hell not?"
"I'm a prefect and you have just been caught outside your common room after hours. If I was caught consorting with you, I could get in trouble."
"Consorting? You call talking consorting?"
"And what could possibly interest me in you, Black?"
"Well, geeze, I dunno. You're really pretty and all-"
Tamara stopped and spun on her heal. Startled, I nearly walked into her. I had to look down at her. And when I did, I was surprised to see how green her eyes were. They were grey-green, and shined with defiance.
"I know who you are. You're Sirius Black, one-night-stand, heartbreaker of Hogwarts. Every girl knows what you do, and yet they all want you. Well, not me, Black. I've already had my heart broken, and I don't plan on letting you break it even more."
Taken aback, I gaped at her. Was that a tear in her eye?
"Listen, Tempest, I didn't mean anything by it. If you don't want me, you don't have to. I'm not going to force you to snog me or anything."
She stared me down. I swear to God, I was intimidated. I think she's the only person I know shorter than me who can stare me down.
"Fine, Black. Just don't make any more moves on me."
Tamara started to walk away, but I quickly hurried to keep pace with her.
"So, who's the guy who broke your heart?"
She winced. "None of your business."
I sighed. "Fine."
"Here we are, Black. Acromantulae." The portrait of the Fat Lady swung open with a snort from the Fat Lady herself. "Now, I have to go finish my patrol." She started to turn away, but I stopped her.
"Listen, Tamara, you know the Christmas dance they're hosting for the seventh years on Saturday?"
"What about it?" She started to back away from me.
"I was wondering-"
"What did I just say Black? No."
"Just hear me out. I was wondering if you wanted to go with me and my friends. None of us have dates - except for James, he's going with Lily – and you don't look like you were planning on going at all."
"And what made you think that?"
"Well, for someone who's just gotten her heart broken, I'd say you've moved on rather quickly, then." I turned to go inside the common room.
"Wait, Black."
"Yes?" I turned back around.
"I'll go, with you and your friends, on one condition. But you must swear you'll stick to this rule, no matter what."
"I solemnly swear that I will not violate your rule," I said truthfully. I liked this girl's attitude, and I wanted to get to know her better. Besides, she looked like she could use a night just for fun.
"Good." She started to walk away, but I stopped her.
"Wait, what's the rule?"
Tamara smiled back at me.
"No falling in love with each other."
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Didn't I swear
There would be no complications
Didn't you want
Someone who's seen it all before
Now that you're here
It's not the same situation
Suddenly I don't remember the rules anymore
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I watched all the happy couples dancing from where I stood by the punch table – a good place to pick up girls. James was out dancing with Lily (I had literally fallen off his chair when she had said yes to James) and Remus had asked a girl- yes, a girl, shocking, I know – to dance with him. As for Peter, he was currently piling up a plate full of all the food he could fit on to it. And what he couldn't was going into his pockets.
"Okay, I came. Happy, Black?"
Startled, I glanced around to see Tamara standing by my elbow, arms crossed and looking fabulous in dark red dress robes and fell elegantly to the floor. Her hair was clipped back halfway with a barrette while the rest feel around her shoulders. To tell you the truth, I was entranced. However, I quickly hid my feelings from her.
"Not quite."
She looked at me. "Now what?"
"What would be the point in going to a dance if you don't dance?"
"What?! Oh, hell, no, Black. I told you-"
"You told me no falling in love. You never said we could dance. As friends." I added that last bit in hopes that it might persuade her.
She thought about it, biting her lower lip in the process. I stared at my drink while she did.
"Fine. One dance. The next song."
I grinned at her. "Great."
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This night is mine
It's only you and I
Tomorrow
Is a long time away
This night can last forever
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I pulled Tamara out onto the dance floor as a new song started. She protested.
"Sirius, no! This is a slow song! I never agreed to a slow song!"
"You agreed to the next song. Fast or slow, this is the next song."
Reluctantly, Tamara let me guide her onto the dance floor. Once we were there, I placed my hands on her hips and she placed her arms around my neck. Slowly we began to dance. I led her as we swayed back and forth to the song. Somehow, we moved closer to each other. Or maybe I moved closer to her. I wasn't sure. But all I know is, suddenly I was close enough to smell her.
Cinnamon. She smelled like cinnamon.
I felt strange. Light-headed. My heart was beating crazily in my chest and my hands and gone all sweaty. Suddenly I wanted to – no, I needed to kiss Tamara.
And so I did.
I inched my face closer to hers. When she didn't pull away, I slowly closed the gap between our lips.
Sensations I had never felt before were suddenly coursing through my veins. No other girl had ever affected me like this. A kiss was always just a kiss. But this, this was something more.
Then Tamara broke away.
Confused, I looked at her, only to see tears pooling in the corners of her pretty green eyes.
"You promised," she whispered accusatively.
I stared after her as she walked away, breaking into a run halfway and exiting the Great Hall.
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I've been around
Someone like me should know better
Falling in love
Would be the worst thing I could do
Didn't I say
I needed time to forget her
Aren't you running from someone
Who's not over you
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A week later I found myself in a sense of déja vû as I turned around to face Filch.
Here I was, in a broom closet, this time with a red-head from Ravenclaw, and I had managed to get caught.
Again.
I sighed and took my punishment without complaint.
"Ok, Miss Tempest, take Mr. Black back to Gryffindor Common Room."
I looked up sharply to see Tamara gaping at Filch.
"Mr. Filch, I can't-"
"What is stopping you, Miss Tempest? You have two perfect good legs. No go." Filch sneered at her and she quickly walked away. I ran to catch up with her, all the while trying to think of something to say.
"Listen, Tamara-"
"I don't want to listen to you, Black. In fact, I don't want to see you."
"Well, considering that we're in the same House, I think that will be near impossible."
"Will you shut up?!"
"No."
She spun around and jabbed her finger into my chest.
"Listen to me, Black. There was one rule, and you broke it. You lost your chance at being friends, now good-bye."
I watched dejectedly as she stalked off in the opposite direction. Shoving my hands into my pockets, I slowly trudged back to the common room.
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How many nights
Have I been lonely without you
I tell myself
How much I really don't care
How many nights
Have I been thinking about you
Wanting to hold you
But knowing you would not be there
-----
I lay in bed, listening to the sounds made by my roommates. From Peter's bed came a high-pitched whine that I figured was his strange snore. Soft breathing came from Remus's bed and murmurings of Evans's name came from James's.
I sighed and rolled over, trying to fall asleep, but it was no use. I hadn't slept for two weeks now, because all I've been thinking about is her.
I know I made a promise – to her and myself – that I wouldn't fall in love. I had never planned on it, really. That's why I had become what I was – a heartbreaker. I just didn't want to face love and have my heart broken.
It turns out that love has a mind of its own. I always thought that if I just went through girls one after the other I wouldn't have to face falling in love. Well, love decided to sneak up on me. I never realized that falling in love could happen so quickly. . . .
I punched my pillow, trying to get thoughts out of my head of Tamara.
Tamara.
God, how I loved that name. Tamara. With her dark brown hair and perfect green eyes.
No, I wouldn't think of her. She only reminded me of the pain. The pain I felt every time I looked at her and she glared at me . . . or just looked away. The pain I felt when I tried to talk to her, but she brushed me off indignantly. The pain I felt today when I realized that she was purposely avoiding me. . . .
I wanted to hold Tamara in my arms. I wanted her to be beside me in my bed. I wanted to see her sleeping form cradled in my arms.
But would that ever happen?
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This night
You're mine
It's only you and I
I'll tell you
To forget yesterday
This night we are together
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Tamara was walking down the corridor alone. I waited until she passed by my hiding spot before I reached out and grasped her arm, pulling her into the room.
"What the – Black!"
"Yes, it's me."
"Get off of me! Let me go!"
"No." I concentrated and the room we were in was suddenly lit by a thousand candles. Tamara stopped struggling to free herself to take in the sight.
It was a large marble dance floor, with a high vaulted ceiling. Slow soft music began to play from a hidden source.
"What is this place?" Tamara whispered.
"It's the Come-And-Go Room. I found it in my third year, and I've never told anyone about it."
"Anyone?"
"Not even James."
She looked at me and then back at the room, an expression of wonderment on her beautiful face. Taking her hand in mine, I bowed.
"May I have this dance?"
Shyly, she took my hand and we danced slowly in the center of the room. She buried her head in my shoulder as I swayed both of us back and forth.
"Tamara," I whispered, "about the kiss-"
I felt her tense up. I quickly went on before she could break away.
"-it was the most wonderful thing that ever happened to me."
She pulled away slightly and looked at me in the eye, as if she were trying to see if I was lying or not. When she saw that I was being honest, she relaxed and I continued.
"Tamara, I've never felt this way about any other girl. In fact, I think it's the reason why I've been with so many other girls. I've been running from something that I can't run from."
She watched me, waiting.
"Tamara, I love you."
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This night
Is mine
It's only you and I
Tomorrow
Is such a long time away
This night can last forever
-----
I waited with baited breath while I let this information sink in. My mind was whirling and there was a single thought running through my head over and over again.
She hates me. She hates me. She hates me.
Tamara surprised me by grabbing my face, leaning up, and kissing me.
I was quite taken aback, but once I had regained my posture, I eagerly kissed her back. All those feelings I had felt the first time I kissed her returned, only increased. I didn't want to stop kissing this perfect woman. I wanted it to last forever.
Finally, we were forced to break apart, grasping for air. I leaned my forehead against hers and stared down at her.
Tamara was staring at the floor, her eyelids hiding her green eyes from sight. When she did look up at me, I felt myself melt at the beauty I saw inside them.
"Sirius, you're the one who broke my heart."
Confused, I stepped back.
"What?"
She wrapped her arms about her middle and looked away from me.
"You know how I told you my heart was already broken?"
"Yes . . ."
"You're the one who broke it."
Now I was seriously confused. "How?"
"Because I've loved you since we first met."
I opened my mouth to interrupt, but she plowed on.
"It started out as a crush, but I quickly learned to love you, even before any other girl saw your good looks and charms. As for me, I fell in love with Sirius Black – the funny, intelligent, loyal, guy. But then you became the heartthrob of Hogwarts, and I saw that you would probably never go for the likes of me. That's when my heart broke in two."
"Tamara. . . ." I reached out and brushed away the tear that was traveling down her cheek. "I don't think anyone but you has ever noticed me for who I really was."
"Oh, Sirius." She threw her arms around me. "I love you."
I quickly pulled her into a passionate kiss. I wasn't afraid anymore. I gave into love.
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Tomorrow
Is such a long time away
This night can last forever
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