A/N: FIRST FANFIC. So don't keel meee!!!! cowers
Disclaimer: I do not own Cats. But I can dream can't I?
THINGS I WILL NOT DO
CHAPTER ONE:
MISTOFELEES
I will not set Tugger's mane on fire and claim that I'm just suffering from Pyromania.
I will not attempt to talk to the cat clock on the wall.
The fact that I was a kitten has nothing to do with it.
I will not help Mongojerrie and Rumpleteazer with their plots.
No matter how fun it is.
I will not send Macavity love letters claiming to be from Munkustrap.
Putting things in Munkustrap's milk is bad.
VERY BAD.
Scratch that, EXTREMELY BAD.
I will not have dreams of myself continuously stabbing Tugger and laughing insanely.
I will not change my name to "The Great Mistofelees"
Or "Mistofelees, The Godly One"
I will not buy Coricopat or Tantomile a 20 Questions ball.
IT READS MINDS.
Which is very creepy.
I cannot dub myself "King of Awsomeness"
I will not run around screaming "MACAVITY"
No matter how much fun it is.
I will not create plans to rule the world.
Even if it was Rumpleteazer's idea.
I will not change the sand in Tugger's litter box into quick sand.
I will not randomly attack babies.
Getting your head stuck in something doesn't mean you can get it out.
Creating a bike and making it invisible and riding it does make me look cool…
…but people might question my sanity.
I will not sit in puzzle boxes.
This for sure will not make a puzzle of myself.
I will not convince Plato that Persian cats are evil.
And plan to rule the world.
Because Rumpleteazer and I have that down already.
I am aware that all that moves is not deadly.
I will not switch the Jellicle Ball music to High School Musical songs.
Even if it does work.
And the reactions are hilarious
I will not sit in a box and shoot grapes at the kittens.
I may not afterwards tell them that eating grapes will make a grape vine grow in your stomach.
I will not tell Tugger that it's the end of the world when his hair brush goes missing.
And secretly crack every mirror in the Junkyard to prove the point.
A/N: Yosh, thats my first fanfic, if it's horrible, tell me calmly and don't "pounceth" me plz. 'Cause claws + Face Pain. Which is not fun. Next up: Well.. haven't thought bout that yet! Suggestions?