Disclaimer: Don't own Spamalot or anything Monty Python for that matter.

Classes

Clop Clop Clop Clop

Clop Clip Clop Clip

"You're doing it again!"

"Sorry, Sir."

"Try to pay attention!" Patsy sighed. He had taken it upon himself to teach the younger man the art of coconut clapping. They've been out all morning practicing and all that he had to show for it was a nasty headache.

"We've been over it hundreds of times! For the life of me, I can't figure out why you can't get it! Now, let's try it again - a simple prancing... what are you staring at?"

"Nothing." Concord smiled at his tutor. "Can you show me again?"

Before

"What was your previous occupation?"

"What?" Patsy looked up at the younger man.

"Were you always a servant-slash-horse?" Concord asked, the confidence he had when he first asked now quickly vanishing.

"Why do you ask?" Patsy questioned, suspicious.

"Just curious, is all." Concord smiled sheepishly.

"...I was always a servant but the horse came after I started serving under Arthur. Terrible rider..." Patsy smiled fondly, obviously recalling the memories.

"Sir?"

"Oh, sorry, Concord." Patsy shook his head clear. "You? What did you used to do?"

"Me? Oh, I was a versifier." Concord paused. "Well, a librarian..."

"And I'm not surprised..."

Wedding

"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself."

Patsy looked up from his mysteriously empty wine glass - he could have sworn it was full a few moments ago!

"Concord! Hello!" He grinned up at the younger man.

"Are you alright, Sir?" Concord asked, sitting down beside the drunken man.

"Fabulous! You want to know why?"

"You're going to tell me regardless of my response, aren't you?"

"Everyone's getting married!" Patsy reached across the table for the wine bottle. "Arthur, Lancelot, and by the looks of it, Robin's not far off." He nodded his newly filled glass toward the passed out knight and his minstrel with the girly name who was currently using said knight as a pillow.

"Yes, that's why we're celebrating." Concord smiled encouragingly. "Joyful occasions and all."

"You're not drunk enough."

"Pardon?"

"You 'eard me." Patsy shoved his full glass into Concord's hands. "Everyone else is getting pissed off their arse, why aren't you?" Patsy took a swig from the bottle to emphasis his point.

Concord pouted at Patsy then at the glass in his hands. He had been concerned about the older man's apparent bad mood. He didn't want to get pissed off his arse... Sighing, he downed the contents.

One Night

Hands drunkenly pulled at clothes, eager to touch the skin underneath. Lips crushed against each other, trying to taste as much of their partner as possible.

They fell back onto the bed, careless of who it may belong to and when they would be back.

Concord didn't fight when Patsy moved on top of him, didn't resist, just submitted to Patsy's advances.

Patsy had often imagined sex with another man but it had always been different that this - he was the one who submitted in those fantasies. He was the one was his back, moaning for more and racking his nails down someone else's back. In his fantasies, it would Arthur here with him.

Concord dug his fingers into Patsy's back, moaning as Patsy kissed the small scar on his shoulder. But this wasn't a fantasy. Concord wasn't Arthur - never would be - but Patsy could live with that for tonight.

Just Asking

Another wedding party, Patsy thought tiredly. Robin's this time, which made it all the more interesting. More singing, of course - Patsy wasn't sure what had more dents at this point, Lancelot's shovel or Herbert's Father's head. Robin fainted three times during the ceremony, Galahad being turned down by all of Herbert's man-servants, all of Guinevere's Ladies, the remaining knights and was currently working on the lute player of Robin's minstrels. Herbert and Lance had disappeared immediately after the ceremony though there had been strange noises coming from the broom closet ever since.

"Oh, cheer up, Patsy!" Arthur clapped his servant on the back. "You'll have your turn, eventually."

"Thank you, Sir." Patsy smiled at Arthur's enthusiasm.

"I know a few maids who are looking..."

"That's alright, Sir."

"Ah, still bummed out by that one night stand, eh?" Arthur nodded thoughtfully. "She must have been something."

"Yeah... she was."

"Really got stuck in your head, didn't she." Arthur smiled. "We could always try to find her, you know. Or someone like her."

"How's the Lady?"

"Gwen? Oh, I've never seen her happier. She's trying to learn how to knit so she can make the baby's blanket herself." Arthur laughed.

"So it's good between you two."

"Of course... were you thinking different?"

"Not really." Patsy smiled. "Just asking... I... have something I need to do."

Patsy nodded goodbye to the confused king and made his way through the wedding crowd.

"We... need to talk." He said, sitting beside a now confused and self-conscious Concord.

The End