Authors Note: Okay, yeah, been a long, LONG time. XD Sorry. I've been having issues, and decided you know, I needed a little stress-releiver. Hence, Naruto is back! And some of you gave me some really, really awesome ideas for another chapter! YAY!! So, if you see your idea used, feel free to pat your back! So, here is another chapter of:

Naruto Speaks His Mind!

Pairings: Has evolved: Is now unrequited Sasu/Naru, possible Gaa/Naru, and definite Kisame/Itachi (XD shark and a weasel…), and anything else I come up with. XD

Warnings: Dear god. XD This chapter… is gonna rock your face off.

Description: Naruto is unfortunately, unable to sleep, even knocked out. So, once again, he goes on a rampage of hilarity and self-discovery!

Disclaimer: Otaku does NOT own Naruto. If she did… Dear god. XD

Chapter three – Why you don't let Naru-chan have caffeine

"Naruto. Go to sleep." He growled, his loam-green eyes glaring. He'd knocked the other jinchuriiki out, he really, really had. WHY wasn't he SLEEPING?! Naruto whimpered, the blonde looking pathetic. It made Gaara want to almost hug him. It seemed strange, and there seemed no point, but the red-head had the urge anyway.

"I cannnnn't, Gaa-chan!" Naruto whined, his blue eyes filled with tears, stinging. The two were on Gaara's bed, Naruto tied down, and the red-head keeping him company. He was writhing and kicking against the ropes. "Please! Let me uppppp!"

Sasuke sighed, the sandy rooftop making his shorts chafe. He wished something would happen already. He seriously, seriously needed to figure out what the fuck was wrong with the blonde. Sleep-deprivation was part of every ninja's training, and there was no reason why he shouldn't be able to handle it. So, why did the blonde seem so very… fruity?! And why the FUCK did he try to SELL him, Sasuke, to Orochimaru?!

Even Orochi himself didn't understand it, and the snake-ish man chatted with him every night. Lovely thing about Suna, free wifi all over the city. It had really become prosperous under Gaara's rule. No one dared ask WHY the red-headed Kazekage gave the city free wifi, but they were all thankful anyway.

Groaning, Sasuke decided to give up on it for the night, heading inside. Kakashi looked up upon seeing his student walking down the decadent hallways towards the room he'd been given. Kakashi was still reading his Icha Icha Paradise, and so, was sitting in an alcove in the hallway.

"All done with your Naruto watching, Sasuke?" He sniggered, and recfeived a pitch black stare from the raven-nette. "Whatever… Just make sure you're awake tomorrow. Technically, this IS a mission." He smirked. "Oh, and try not to be too loud. I'm right next door."

Sasuke growled, "Shut up, Kakashi-sensei. I'm not THAT loud." His snoring was really getting out of hand if Kakashi noticed…

It was still nothing to Sakura's however, who was sprawled across her own bed, which, sadly, was one wall away from Temari's. The blonde sister of the kazekage was this close to breaking through the freaking wall and strangling the pinky-bitch just to shut her up!

Morning didn't seem to come fast enough for anyone, and in the end, Naruto and Gaara stayed up all night, playing go-fish. The bad thing was that Naruto… got into Gaara's energy-drink stash. He was giggling now, his whole body jazzed, and he found sitting still was really, really hard to do. Even more so than usual!

Breakfast was a trial, really, for everyone's patience. "FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, SIT STILL!" Sakura yelled, finally having had enough. She slammed her silverware down, glaring at Naruto, and had she, Sasuke, and Kakashi all not been at the very, very bottom of the table, far away from the blonde, she would have hit him. HARD.

As it was, Naruto giggled, and sneered, "Oh? Worried, Sakura? Afraid I'm going to make you look even WORSE in front of Gaara than you already do?"

"Shut it, blondie." Sakura growled, her whole body shaking with the effort of keeping still.

Meanwhile, A very, very sad man, in an orange mask, was sniffling. "Itachi-senpai? Kisame-senpai?" He called, and those around him held their children away, some of them almost sure that he was some kind of molester, or pervert. I mean, who wears a long, dark coat, and a fucking MASK?!

Tobi sniffled, reaching under his mask, and wiping away a tear. "Tobi will be a good boy… Please stop hiding!" He cried, still wandering around the city.

Naruto sighed, bored out of his mind now, and no one seemed to know what to do. Sasuke and Sakura were off wandering the city, luckily. But sadly, Naruto was stuck in Gaara's office with him, his head cradled on the male's desk, whimpering. Gaara was doing paperwork, and it was so boooorrrriiiiiinnnnnggg…..

"Ne, ne, Gaara… Let's go out… Come on… Let's go play. Please… PLEASE!!" He begged. And Gaara sighed. For the hundredth time this last hour.

"Naruto… I can't. I have to finish this… If you want, go take a walk around Suna… I'll find you later, once I'm done, alright?"

Naruto pouted, having wanted to spend time with the red-head, but nodded, "Alright… But you'd better come find me, Gaa-chan. I WILL find a way to tickle you, if you don't." He warned. Gaara snorted, and Naruto cursed the fact that Gaara didn't believe he'd do it.

He moved out of the mansion quickly, heading out. It wasn't very hard at all, to shift to his oroike-no-jutsu form, and wander around town. He toned it down just a bit, so that his long blonde hair was up in a ponytail, and his bust and hips were just a little bit… less wide.

He was shopping. It was something he loved to do, ever since he discovered that it would work in a town he WASN'T absolutely loathed in. He grinned, letting his delicate hands trail over all of the pretty objects, allowing himself to stall, and debate if he had enough money to buy this, or that.

That is, until he heard a plaintive voice calling out, "Come onnnnn! Tobi will be a good boy! Senpaiiii!"

He, currently, she, turned to look, and saw a poor kid wandering around in an orange mask, and a long black trench with red clouds on it. Huh… That… seemed familiar… Where did he know that from…

AH WELL! It probably wasn't that important anyway. "Hey, kiddo!"

Tobi paused, turning to look at the one who'd called. It was a pretty girl, and Tobi smiled, not that anyone could see behind his mask, "Oh, hello! Does Tobi know you?"

Naruto sniggered, "Not really… Are you looking for someone?" He asked, tilting his head.

"Tobi is looking for his Senpai… They've disspeared…" He pouted. "Tobi has to find them, to prove he's a good boy."

Naruto grinned, "Well, for now, why don't you hang out with me, and we'll walk around town, seeing if we can find them, hm?" The blonde wanted to help. This kid reminded him of himself, and that, in and of itself, demanded his attention.

"SURE!" Tobi grinned, walking down the street, the pretty brunette slowly morphing into his normal blonde self.

"NICE HENGE!!" Tobi cried, "That is so cool… Could you teach Tobi? Please? Please?!"

Naruto thought about it for a moment, before grinning, "Sure! Why not!" After all, he'd taught Konohamaru, and that kid sucked!

They found an abandoned little training ground, which, strangely enough, gave Naruto a sense of déjà-vu. He grinned, sitting in the swings, and blinked, remembering where he got déjà-vu from. One of Gaara's flashbacks. THAT explained it. Naruto almost expected to see an adorable little chibi-gaara going emo on some kids. THAT would be cute!

He giggled, and Tobi tilted his head, "Umm… Senpai?" He asked, tilting his head.

Naruto shook his head, "It's okay, it's okay! Just thinking about something funny. Anyway, first you gotta imagine the prettiest girl you know."

Tobi nodded, a look of utter seriousness overtaking his mask. Naruto wondered only for a moment why the fuck the mask was taking on facial expressions, before deciding to throw that thought out, and label it as 'something fucking weird that probably has to do with chakra, but doesn't really matter in the end, so can be ignored like most of the rest of this weird ass world.' Then, he smiled, watching the kid make the little…thinky-dealy, hand-symbol, that started off most jutsu.

"Okay, good. Now, route the chakra into a henge, like you would for Kawarimi-no-jutsu, only instead of making it on a log, make it on yourself, got it?" He grinned, and Tobi nodded, calling out the chant he decided to use.

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" And suddenly, there was a really, really hot blonde where Tobi was. Naruto was impressed, and circled the male, grinning. The hair was pulled up into a half-ponytail, and the bangs fell over a single eye, much like Ino, and for a moment, he wondered if this guy had a crush on Ino, or something. But the breasts were much too supple, and the hips were rather nice too.

"Who'd you base it off of, kid?"

"Deidara-senpai. He's a boy, but he's really, really pretty! He's the prettiest person Tobi knows!" Tobi nodded, making the pretty blonde nod.

"That makes sense." Naruto nodded, grinning. "Well, now you got it! So, what do your Senpai look like?" He asked, tilting his head.

Tobi grinned, "Oh! They wear the same cloaks just like mine! And… And… Well, the ones I'm looking for have painted nails, and pretty red eyes, and one has blue skin!"

Naruto's eyes widened. "OH! You're looking for Kisame and Itachi, right? They left town already, saying they'd try and get me when I went back to Konoha. Itachi gave me this great recipe for homemade skin lotion though. Do you want it to?" He grinned, absolutely okay with sharing beauty tips.

Tobi grinned, "YAY!!"

"WHAT THE HELL, NARUTO!?" Sakura's shrill voice cried over the entire city, and Gaara, having just finished his last piece of paperwork, blinked and looked up. Sighing, he got ready to go get them. Sakura stormed forward, growling, and seizing Naruto by the shirt. "You IDIOT! He's the ENEMY!"

Naruto growled, "You are such a BITCH, Sakura! I'm perfectly fine until I go to Konoha, isn't that right, Tobi-kun?"

Tobi nodded, smiling, "Tobi will be a GOOD boy!"

Sakura twitched, and Sasuke had to say, he was amused. Naruto growled, "I know what it is, Sakura… You can't get over the fact that I'm so much prettier than you when I'm a girl…" He purred into her ear, and she lost it.

The pinkette threw Naruto, who managed an awesome ninja flip, and grinned, poofing in to his girl-form, a hot, naked blonde, with a hell of a rack. Both Naruto and Tobi's mask exploded into nosebleeds, and watched as Naruto caught the charging Sakura, and tossed her through the air.

"BITCH!" Sakura grunted upon landing.

Gaara blinked, upon coming to the scene, and even he had to hold a hand to his nose to stifle a nosebleed. Naruto was hot in any form, it seemed. And watching him beat the shit out of Sakura in a cat-fight was rather… interesting.

Eventually, they gathered a large coroud, and Naruto pile-drove Sakura into the ground, standing. "I AM THE CHAMPION! I PWNED your ass, Sakura! I am a better girl than you will EVER be!" He laughed.

Gaara sighed, and decided to try again, smacking the blonde hard upside the back of the head, hoping to knock him out. The illusion disappeared, and Naruto collapsed, snoring happily, and grinning in his sleep.

Needless to say, Sakura had bald patches the next day, was a sobbing wreck, and Naruto was still sleeping. Temari sighed, "Is it bad that I want their vacation here to be over, just so I can get rid of this headache?" She whined to her brother.

Kankuro sniggered, and Gaara sighed.

End Chapter

Otaku: So? What'd you think? Pretty good for written in a night, right? XD

Naruto: It made no SENSE! V.V

Otaku: T.T Well… Well FUCK YOU. *sniffle*

Gaara: She tried, and she gave us naked you, pile-driving an annoying Sakura. So, please, review, and she'll have more later. Hopefully.