DISCLAIMER: I don't own anything of Inuyasha. I only claim the plot.
Chapter One: Painful Memories
Kagome peeked out from behind the stage, looking for the familiar sight of silver hair and doggy ears. Spotting him in a far corner, her heart clenched painfully as she noticed the female with him. Lord, it never seemed to go away, this ache. She'd told Inuyasha that she had something important to tell him tonight. She couldn't hide what she felt anymore as he continued to flaunt Kikyo in her face. Sango had been the one to come up with the idea of singing what she felt for him. He'd always loved her voice. Said she'd be famous someday.
"Ladies and gentle, allow me to introduce the last act for the night, Higurashi Kagome," the club owner announced. Shaking with nerves, she hesitantly walked out to face the audience, her eyes automatically connecting with electrifying amber. She could hear her band setting up. Sango played the keyboard, Miroku the electric guitar, and Shippo the drums. She stepped up to the microphone, lifting it from its stand. Taking a deep breath, she began.
"Inuyasha, this is for you," she whispered, barely audible to anyone but the demons and hanyous of the club.
There were places we would go
At midnight
Images of their secret hideout from childhood flashed through her mind. In the woods surrounding her hanyou's estate, there was a hidden meadow where a waterfall flowed into a narrow stream. A cave was hidden behind the wall of water. They'd often hide there when one or the other needed to get away from the world. Even at twenty-one, she still found herself there when reality was too much to bear.
There were secrets
That nobody else would know
"Hey, Inu," an eight year old Kagome whispered to her bestest best friend. Large amber eyes turned questioningly to her, doggy ears swiveling to focus on what she wanted to say.
"Daddy hit Mommy again," she finished, tears leaking from her eyes. A tiny clawed hand reached up to wipe the moisture away.
"Why," her hanyou asked worriedly. This was the third time this week. Akira-san was getting more and more abusive. But Kags told him not to tell. He wanted to tell so badly. He was afraid she was going to get hurt.
"Because he was trying to 'punish' me for spilling my milk. Mommy got in the way when he tried to hit me. It's all my fault," she wailed. Gently, he pulled her into his thin, ten-year old arms. He ran his fingers through her hair, trying to get her to calm down.
"It's never you fault," he whispered back. They'd stayed their until the sun went down.
There's a reason but I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
I thought they all belonged to me
She remembered the day he met Kikyo. The last day of the senior year in high school, he rushed at her, a rare smile lighting his face. He'd picked her up, swinging her around at dizzying speeds. She couldn't help but laugh at his antics. What had him so happy?
"I've met her, Kags," he shouted for the world to hear. What was he talking about? Thoroughly confused, she silently asked him what he was babbling about.
"The One. I've met her," he said excitedly. She saw his eyes stray behind her, lighting up when they spotted someone in the crowd. Turning she watched as one of the most beautiful girls she'd ever seen came there way. Her heart froze as the world dropped out from under her.
Whose that girl
Where's she from
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
Her name was Kikyo. She'd just moved from Tokyo to Nagoya when her father's company transferred him. She was everything Kagome could never be. Her hair fell in a straight curtain of midnight. Kagome's was impossible to tame from the wavy mess she'd been born with. Her eyes were a warm chocolate. Kagome's were a dull gray. Her skin was flawless peaches and cream. Kagome spent too much time out in the sun, causing freckles and leaving her tan. She floated. Kagome stumbled. Her heart began to wither.
It's not real
It's not right
It's not day
It's not night
She didn't know what was real and what was nightmare. She was lost in a world of darkness, and he wouldn't help her find her way out.
By the way
Whose that girl
Living my life
Oh no
Living my life
Soon, she was left in the cold as he enjoyed living life with perfection. She could never hope to compete. Couldn't he see how she suffered? Couldn't he see the love reflecting from her eyes? No, because he was too blinded by Kikyo.
It seems like everything's the same around me
Then I look again and everything has changed
I'm not dreamin'
She would wake up thinking she had dreamt this pain. Her room looked like it always had. Everything looked like it was supposed to. Then she'd noticed how damp her pillow was and realize she'd cried herself to sleep again. Her dream was reality. Her eyes began to grow lifeless. Soon, there would be nothing left.
So I don't know why
I don't know why
I don't know why
She's everywhere I want to be
She watched as they laughed together, lost in their own secret world where she couldn't follow. They lounged in the quad of the college together between classes. They fed each other bits off their plates. They walked hand in hand. They kissed with such passion. How she wished that it was her and not that woman.
Whose that girl
Where's she from
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
She began cutting herself, the momentary pain releasing her from the constant emotional strain. Why wasn't it her. She new him best. She loved him first. It should have been her.
It's not real
It's not right
It's not day
It's not night
Her friends started to question why she seemed so out of it all the time. She couldn't bear to look into his concerned orbs. She wouldn't reveal her pain and cause him some as well. He couldn't help who he loved anymore than she could. If he knew, he would feel guilty.
By the way
Whose that girl
Living my life
Oh no
Living my life
One night she told Sango, no longer able to keep her secret. Her friend let her cry in her arms all night. The pain was a little less, but she knew it wouldn't ever die out. They talked about what she should do. That was what led them to this night.
I'm the one who made you laugh
Who made you feel
Who made you sad
A thirteen year old Kagome held Inuyasha in her arms the night his mother died. He hadn't she a single tear the entire day, even during the funeral. They'd escaped to their secret place. In the darkness, he'd allowed himself to show what he trusted only her to see.
He didn't say a word to anyone but her for two months. Only she was allowed to see him when he was "weak." She spent every night with him as he cried out his anguish. In the mornings, she would help him prepare for school. Only around her did his eyes lose their dull, lifeless appearance. For a moment, she was happy.
I'm not sorry
For what we did
For who we were
I'm not sorry
I'm not her
Kikyo was so cold. How could someone as vibrant as her Inu love someone with so little emotion? She remembered how he would run through their meadow and laugh as she tried to catch him. He hardly smiled anymore, even for her. This wasn't her Inuyasha.
Her Inuyasha always said he loved her fiery nature. He liked that she rushed headlong into any situation. He liked how her body was constantly in motion. He liked that she was clumsy because it gave him someone to save. Suddenly, she was happy she wasn't Kikyo. She just wished that he was in her arms too.
Whose that girl
Where's she from
No she can't be the one
That you want
That has stolen my world
She cut herself again. She watched in fascination at the brilliant contrast of red blood against pale skin. She noticed the scars she made were the Kanji for his name. She smiled. At least she would have a part of him with her always.
It's not real
It's not right
It's not day
It's not night
She watched as Kikyo pulled him closer, pressing her lips passionately against his. He wrapped his arms around her tiny waist, responding enthusiastically. He'd just proposed. She'd said yes. Her heart withered a little more. Soon, there wouldn't be anything left.
By the way
Whose that girl
Living my life
Oh no
Living my life
As the last notes of the song faded, she finally realized what she'd just done and ran into the night.
Hey everyone! I was suddenly hit with inspiration when I was listening to Whose That Girl by Hilary Duff. Hope you enjoy. For those of you wondering if I'll be updating my other stories anytime soon, the answer is yes. Have fun!
Sesshluver