"You guys! Did you see this??" Roger looked up from the paper he was reading.

"What?" Mimi tried peering over his shoulder, very curious now.

"No…wait!" Roger turned from her, blocking her view. He began carefully tearing the article out. "Hold on…"

The rest of the bohemians gazed at the rocker as if he had gone mad.

"Okay…I want you all to read this very carefully. And no talking until everyone is finished."

"Okay…give it to me!" Mimi snatched the article from his hand. As she read it, a slight 'What the fuck?' expression came over her face.

"What is it!? I'm dying to know!!" Maureen pouted.

"Shhhhhhhh!" Roger scolded her. "You'll get your turn."

"Wow…" Mimi handed the paper to a very excited Maureen.

"What the hell is this??" Maureen muttered under her breath as she scanned the paper. Joanne looked it over with Maureen, a wary look in her eye.

"How…disturbing." Joanne raised her eyebrow.

The couple passed the article over to Benny. He read it with a slight shake of his head. When he handed it over to Mark, the filmmaker scanned it in a stony silence.

Collins looked at it next, a look of morbid amusment on his face. Finally, he silently handed it over to Angel. Angel gingerly held the article, scanning it quickly. A look of horror twisted her delicate features. Her hands began to shake and she quickly set the article down on the table in front of her.

The Article was a checklist that read as this:

The 14 Characteristics of a Serial Killer:

1. Over 90 percent of serial killers are male.

2. They tend to be intelligent, with IQ's in the "bright normal" range.

3. They do poorly in school, have trouble holding down jobs, and often work as unskilled laborers.

4. They tend to come from markedly unstable families.

5. As children, they are abandoned by their fathers and raised by domineering mothers.

6. Their families often have criminal, psychiatric and alcoholic histories.

7. They hate their fathers and mothers.

8. They are commonly abused as children — psychologically, physically and sexually. Often the abuse is by a family member.

9. Many serial killers spend time in institutions as children and have records of early psychiatric problems.

10. They have high rates of suicide attempts.

11. From an early age, many are intensely interested in voyeurism, fetishism, and sado-masochistic pornography.

12. More than 60 percent of serial killers wet their beds beyond the age of 12.

13. Many serial killers are fascinated with fire starting.

14. They are involved with sadistic activity or tormenting small creatures.

"So…" Maureen broke the silence. "Who here is a psycho??"

Everybody laughed.

"Well…I have one. I'm a guy." Roger rolled his eyes.

"Same thing." Benny agreed with the rocker.

"I have two, actually. I-I…used to be a bed wetter…" Mark blushed.

"Oooooh!" Mimi shrieked. She inched away from him playfully. "We'd better watch our asses around you! Really…it's no big deal. I hate my parents and I love fire!"

Again, nervous titters rippled around the room.

"Well, I don't have any…besides the high IQ, that is." Joanne sighed in relief.

"Yeah. Me too." Collins nodded at Joanne.

"I only like fire…" Maureen said, slightly disappointed because she only scored one.

"What about you, chica?" Mimi questioned the drag queen.

Angel's eyes shone eerily in the dim lamp light. "You guys…I…oh, god…" Her voice quavered, she paled.

"What's the matter, Ang?" Collins asked her. "You look like you've seen a ghost…are we scaring you?"

Angel fixed everyone with a numb, haunted look. Her voice changed to a strange, subdued monotone.

"I have all 14 characteristics."

Everyone froze, holding their breath. They stared at Angel, too terrified to move or speak.

"April Fools!" Angel grinned, laughing hysterically.

THE END (Yes, yes…I realize this fic is late. I'm still kicking myself for not thinking of this story idea on April 1st.)