Tag for "What Is and What Should Never Be"

So yeah I wasn't gonna write another fic for a while or until I got an interesting idea, but this ep nearly killed me and if it wasn't for my crude husband's inappropriate comments about the boys' sexuality I probably would have bawled. Anyway I wanted to get this out before the 2 part finale so it may suck somewhat as it was a quick job. Only short though.

Oh yeah - I own nothing, just for fun yada yada yada.

T rating is for small amount of language

What Is and What Will Be

"Why's it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero?"

Sam had told him it was worth it and he already knew before the words had been spoken but he had needed to hear it anyway. It was their job – they hadn't asked for it but it was theirs anyway and they had no right to dismiss it. Lives were at stake, so many lives and so much more than they could possibly imagine.

Because something was coming.

He didn't know what but he knew it was bad and it was dark and it was coming for them and it was coming soon.

But right now he was tired and his heart was broken and he needed to rest a while. Right now he didn't really care if Sam saw him crack because right now he had reached breaking point and if anyone objected then they could go fuck themselves.

He had seen his mother again and she had been as beautiful as he'd remembered but now he knew none of it was real.

The moment he'd thrown his arms around her and taken in her scent, the smell of her hair, her skin:

it wasn't real.

Seeing Jess alive and whole and not burned had erased the guilt he'd felt over her death but he knew:

it wasn't real.

The touch of his mother's hand on his cheek right before he'd plunged a knife into his heart and destroyed his last chance to be happy:

it wasn't real.

None of it was real and the grief had returned and the guilt had returned and the sense of loss and a crippling need to feel his mother's arms around him had returned and had all but brought him to his knees.

She'd told him angels were watching over him but he wondered to himself where were they now?

And so Dean Winchester decided that if he wanted to break down now then he damn well should be able to.

Sam watched his brother's eyes fill with tears as he slowly slid to the floor resting his elbows on his knees and burying his head in his hands.

He'd had to witness his brother's tears far too often lately and it was starting to really piss him off. If there was a higher purpose or reason for the whole universe against the Winchesters campaign then he wished someone would tell him because there was only so far you could push and push someone before they turned around and gave you the finger.

The last year he felt he'd aged far too much and the growing weight of what was coming had become more than a burden.

His brother had survived the horrific death of his mom before he was even old enough to know what death was. Then his dad had left him with nothing other than the knowledge that his hero had sold his soul so that his eldest son could continue the battle when all he wanted was to rest. That and the unenviable task of murdering his little brother in the event that he went dark side.

He watched as his brother cried silently on the floor and swore that he wouldn't, because Sam Winchester was pissed and had decided he and his brother weren't taking any more shit.

Joining his older sibling on the floor he sunk his fingers into the light brown hair before kissing the top of his head lightly. He noticed Dean react to the contact releasing a hitched breath and took this as permission to remain at his brother's side; one arm loosely draped around his shoulders his head resting on his brother's.

He was tired and pissed but knew this was the time to regain strength from one another, to take a breath, and to get themselves prepared and waiting before it was too late and all hell broke loose.

This was it, this was the point they had been preparing for all their lives but he had no idea what it was or how they would fight it, only that they would stand side by side and face whatever that was coming head on..

In that moment Sam decided that he wasn't going to allow his brother to carry out his dad's orders because if Dean couldn't save him then we would save himself. And then he would save Dean. And then everyone else. He had felt fear before but now as he gave and drew strength from his brother he made a silent promise that one way or another they would survive whatever that was coming.

He felt his big brother shudder slightly under his arm and tightened his hold on him, silently reassuring him that whoever it was who was trying to destroy them would have to try a lot harder if it had any hope of breaking them. Drawing on the fury he felt, he sent out a silent warning to whatever it was that had them in it's sights, to whatever darkness awaited them to whatever is was that was coming. For them.

Let it come.