Author's Note: This is my first Sirius/Hermione but not my first story...I love writing and hope that someday I can write my own book. It is a great dream to have and one that I certainly hope to achieve. Now with school and other stuff I am working on at the moment this is not my main priority.
This story is also in need of a beta...anyone interested e-mail me. You'll find my e-mail in my profile along with some pictures for this story. I don't think that I have anything else to say other than that I love this pairing and that this story will be slightly different from other time-travel. For it is time-travel. Hermione will not be in school...and this is set after HBP...there are a lot of OC in this but they are somewhat important to my plot.
Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are all J.K. Rowling's. I am also not making any form of profic from this just the knowledge that my writing is being practiced. Practice makes perfect.
Summary
Hermione Granger decides to go to the past after she discovers that there is no use to stay in the future. After all with all the deaths and the fact that the order is barely helping she knows that this is her best course of action. A diary is all she has left of him, one that makes her see the depths of his soul. And now, now she will get to see him again. Time travel is a hard thing but with the right push and the right help she will go back. Sirius Black/Hermione Granger, Lily Evans/James Potter.
Introduction
I never though I'd ever see the day when the infamous ladies man that is my best friend settled down. Yet he did settle down. James once told me that Love conquers all and that even he would someday be caught in the web. He never said I would, but that is a different story.
I never believed him, then again why would I? Sirius was always after some girl or another and he broke many hearts. Why would he ever settle down? He had told us all already that he never would. He said he might someday in his thirty's but not right after leaving Hogwarts. No, he wanted to be a bachelor for a long time. He wanted to keep on living the life of a dog, and I say this literally.
Then he met her.
I still can't believe that he fell for her, and she a teacher. I still don't think it was right but Dumbledore allowed it and so, I guess, everything turned out for the better. Sirius got the girl he always wanted before he expected her and yet there was something about her, something that I didn't like back then. Turns out sometimes even an old wolf like me is wrong.
She was a great professor, she taught us all a lot and she was also a great friend. I remember how much Sirius liked her at first and then how he continued on and on and on about her sort of like James did of Lily. I should have seen it then. It was a little scary, to tell the truth. But I guess you should hear the entire story and for that you shall need to see the beginning. It begun on one late afternoon in July of 2003, and a simple day it was, too, or maybe not so simple for it begun at a funeral; one that would change the life of Hermione Granger.
Have I forgotten to tell you who the girl is? Oh, yes, of course. It is Hermione who he fell for; sweet Hermione Granger.
Chapter One
The Diary
"Fear isn't the absence of courage but an emotion or a feeling that is needed so you can have courage. Without fear there would be no need to have bravery." Hermione said these words to the order members, her friends, the ministry of magic and every other person that had shown up for the funeral "Harry Potter was very afraid. He didn't want to die and he didn't deserve to die and neither did Ron. When you think about the fact that they gave up their lives for us and yet they did not succeed in their task you begin to see how the world works.
"The unfairness that drives us to this point in time and that in the end will destroy us. I remember, and so will you, a time when darkness did not empower us. When death was not something that was routine, it was such times that did not last but we can have them back.
"We can destroy him!" she looked around and took a deep breath "They did not die in vain" she wiped a few tears "Harry Potter may have died but the cause has not and we will succeed in bringing him down.
"In memory of Harry Potter we can say that he was a great friend. Helpful and insightful he was a powerful wizard and he shall be remembered. He was our hope and he will continue to be for the years to come." Hermione then smiled at them but did not move. "But then we have Ron. Ron who died for Harry, Ron who sacrificed himself for us not only did he save our last hope but he made it so we would have hope again once he was gone.
"They were loyal and brave and they always took the harder path. When their death came about we are the ones that will mourn him but so will Voldemort for he will know that, we, the ones still left will avenge him. The innocent are always martyred."
Hermione stepped from the podium tears still rolling down her cheeks and she walked towards the front row where she was seated between Neville and Remus. Remus squeezed her hand "it will be alright, Hermione" he said.
She nodded softly and she watched him stand up and begin his speech. Hermione's mind drifted to what happened during the final battle. But then it wouldn't be the final battle. Not if she could help it.
It was a trap. Harry, Ron, and Hermione all walked towards Hogwarts. Hogwarts had been closed down the year after they graduated and had been having a few interesting things happen around it so that the trio was always checking it out. If it wasn't them it was other order members.
Tonight was just a routine check up. Nothing that really offered a lot of things to do but this was just as Voldemort had wanted. He had wanted to get them when they were alone and unprepared.
It was Harry who first saw the sign of trouble. He did not say a thing but just looked to Hermione and she knew in the way he looked at her. "Go inside and check out some stuff" he said.
Hermione ran towards the castle as Harry told Ron.
The order had begun using a ring that shinned with a message when they were needed and this was what any member could activate. Hermione's job was to do this. And so inside the school she took out her wand and pressed her ring with it "help" was on her ring in a moment and the message would flair in everyone else's.
This had been the beginning and when she went back out they were there surrounded.
The order did not arrive in time. Hermione was spared and she felt guilty for being alive. In fact when Bellatrix hit Ron she had fought Bella and even managed to make a lot of damage but then he came and he pushed her away taking Harry.
They duelled, Voldemort and Harry. It was a mixture of curses and hexes going from side to side but in the end it was Harry who died. Voldemort smirked then looking at Hermione.
"Shall I kill the mudblood, my lord?" Lucius Malfoy asked then
"No" he said "let her suffer in the misery of losing them"
This is had been his mistake.
When the order members found her Hermione was not exactly in a right state. She was crying and a complete mess. It took Remus and Tonks to get her to the Burrow and into bed. Tonks stayed with her for more than half the night soothing her.
That was two weeks ago and Hermione was still as mess as much as she didn't show it to the rest of the world. At night she would curl up in a small ball and just lay there thinking about Harry and Ron. She missed them terribly.
Remus sat back down and smiled at her "It's almost over" he said.
"Yeah" she whispered back "but they are still dead and Harry's will is to be read tomorrow"
Remus nodded but said nothing more.
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The next day Hermione woke up with a groan. She barely had any sleep the night before and tonight she needed to attend the reading of Harry's will. Ron had left nothing but then again he didn't own much that would need to be passed on.
Harry on the other hand had two houses in his possession, and a lot of money most of left from Sirius and his parents but some of it from being an Auror.
12 Grimmauld Place was still as empty as it had been the days that followed Sirius' death. Hermione figured that only Kreacher had been there and the place was probably very dirty.
Harry's house which was where he lived with Ginny whom he had been previously engaged to was at the moment just as empty.
As soon as she was dressed in full black Hermione walked into the kitchen of her flat where she found her cloak. Hermione picked it up and draped it over her arm. She was off to the ministry of magic.
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Hermione walked out of the ministry of magic surprised. Harry hadn't left Ginny a cent. He had left her their house but nothing else. Remus had gotten most of his money and a few odds and ends while Hermione who had expected nothing more than his most prised possessions the marauders' map and his father's cloak. But Harry had left her a large sum of money, 12 Grimmauld place, the map and the cloak as well as a few other things like his mother's engagement ring and a letter.
Dear Hermione,
I know that when you read this you will hate me. I know that you won't like my choice but I had to do this. I knew he would be there tonight and that is why I sacrificed myself for you. There are a lot of things in life that for the most part you will not understand. Knowing you, Hermione, I know you will want to. I was part of his soul. I needed to die so that you can finish off what is needed to be done. It is you, Hermione who will do it.
When I thought of your reaction to everything I left you I knew you'd want to just give it up but you can't. I left everything, or mostly everything, to you because I know you are the only one that I can leave these things with. Ginny and I have not been together for a long time. In fact I believe she was dating Draco Malfoy and this is my reason for leaving her nothing but bad memories with that house.
You are the last one remaining that can save the world. For all times sake, Hermione, just be the heroine this time. Be the one they all adore. Be their hope just as you have been mine for all these years.
Your loving friend,
Harry Potter
Hermione cried after the letter for a long time in the confines of her room. It was that night as the hour reached midnight that she made a decision. She would move into 12 Grimmauld Place. She would lead the order and hopefully to some victory.
With the help of her wand Hermione was packed in half an hour. As she looked around the small flat she had gotten soon after she got out of Hogwarts she sighed. It had many memories but they would soon be forgotten. Her life was changing and she felt that it was for the best.
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The Black House was in the same state it was when the order first used it in her fifth year. Hermione left her things which had been shrunk down in the drawing room and then began to look around the familiar room.
Hermione had never gotten any time to actually explore the house. In fact beyond the kitchen, her room, Harry's room, the twin's room, the drawing room, and a large office like room she hadn't been to the entire house and now was the perfect time to begin her explorations.
But first she knew she needed to start a bit of cleaning. So summoning anything that would help her she made them magically begin sorting out the place. Of course not everything could be done with magic so she would have to check some of the things and begin to actually make up her mind as to what she would keep but Hermione knew that there were a lot of things that were expensive and some from the dark arts.
As soon as she put the things to clean Hermione walked towards the attic. She wanted to see if there was anything that needed any fixing up there. After all she didn't want to find that some ghoul had moved into said attic and that would annoy the rest of her days in the Black House.
After making sure that everything was in over Hermione went to the second floor of the house and began with checking the room she and Ginny had shared which beyond the dust was perfectly clean. Harry and Ron's had nothing on them, in fact it was closer to being the cleanest room in the house. Hermione wouldn't be surprised if Harry had made this happen.
She walked then on to other rooms glad that they were actually clean and she didn't have a lot to actually get through. As soon as she had looked into the rooms she had entered through her time in the house Hermione went into the first room that she found she had never explored.
It was generally messy with different things thrown about the floor but there was no spot of dust or anything that could indicate that no one was living in the room. Hermione sat down on the bed and took the room in. It seemed familiar to her as if she had once seen it but she knew she hadn't. The déjà vu that hit her then made her frown for a single moment.
Hermione stood when she saw a black leather notebook on the floor. She picked it up and began flipping through it. There was nothing written inside it but then a piece of parchment fell out.
To whom it may concern,
I have never felt the need to want to explain myself to anyone ever before. I have never felt true love for anyone and I guess my life has been a pain. I mean I had fun during Hogwarts. James, Remus, Peter. I loved them and I know they cared for me. Lily was a great friend and I cared for her too.
She once told me that she thought I should settle down. I never did and maybe if I had met the right girl and maybe if I had found someone that was actually capable of understanding me none of what happened when the Potters were attacked would have happened.
Remus was with me the night before I went after Peter. In fact had it not been for his girlfriend he would have come with me. In fact had I listened to her nothing would have happened and I would have been happy.
Peter was always a follower I just never knew how truly smart he had been through those years but then he was smart enough to somehow rat his way into the marauders.
To whom ever is reading this note, you must have found my notebook. It is generally just a notebook but you must understand that marauder secrets must not be given out so if you know Remus Lupin or myself Sirius Black give one of us this book.
Only those that actually see can find this and those are special people, people that I once loved or will love. Either way bring the book to us.
Padfoot
Hermione frowned at the confusing note but decided to talk to Remus about it when she saw him again and so she put the book into her pocket. It was then he saw her hiding behind a bookshelf. She was around 5 year old with amber eyes and black hair. She let out a soft growl.
Hermione approached the young girl extending her hand towards her "I won't hurt you, I promise" she said "My name is Hermione. What's yours?"
"Emily" she answered and took Hermione's hand. Hermione pulled the girl out and looked her over. She had a long cut on her cheek and a few bruises on her legs and arms.
Hermione knew by just simply looking at the girl's eyes and the fact that her clothes were rather ripped that the young girl was a werewolf. While the Black House had many spells on it to prevent anyone from getting inside it anyone could now see the house because it had no secret keeper.
The young girl clung to Hermione's arms as she took her to the kitchen. Then Hermione took out her wand and looked at her. She fixed her cuts and bruises and then looked her over "you are going to take a shower and then I shall dress you in something clean and we shall go visit a certain friend of mine"
The girl nodded and walked with Hermione to the bathroom. After a quick shower Hermione transfigured a cloak into some clothes to fit the 5 year old and then she took her in her arms and then apparated to Remus Lupin's house in Derbyshire.
She knocked on his door and waited for it to be opened. Nymphadora Tonks grinned at Hermione and then looked at the girl "and who is that?"
"Emily" Hermione replied "I found her at 12 Grimmauld Place. She was just there hiding in what I believe to be Sirius' room. She was really hurt clothes ripped and everything and I know this is the state Remus gets into and her eyes are a give away. This girl is a werewolf."
Tonks nodded and let her in "he's in the study. Just go right on in. I was just cooking for a change. Not promising that there won't be at least four dishes broken of course"
Hermione laughed and then walked towards Remus' study. Emily was looking around and then when Hermione set her down looked at her with surprise. "Come on, my arms are tired" she took the girl's hand.
Remus was surprised to see Hermione and even more surprised at seeing the young girl. "Who is she?" he asked.
"Emily" Hermione then explained about her.
"So she was in the Black House" Remus said "odd" he shrugged "but you know she reminds me of someone"
"Who?" Hermione asked.
"Look at her eyes"
Hermione did as she was told and was met with something different. The Green in her eyes that seemed to flash back to amber and then back again, it was the shade of green that made Hermione come to the realization that Remus had made. "That's why he left me the house knowing I would go to explore it"
"I think this is also the reason he left Ginny nothing" put in Remus "Ginny and Harry were breaking apart. You could see it in their eyes. I just wonder who the mother is"
Hermione nodded as she looked at the daughter of her best friend "I guess we'll have to keep her around. I don't think that he would want her to have the kind of life he had."
Remus nodded and watched as Hermione smoothed the black hair of Emily Potter and allowed her to sleep. She was somewhat perfect to take care of the five year old.
"Remus I have something else to give to you" Hermione looked in her pocket and brought out the book and handed it to him.
Remus looked down at it "I haven't seen this in years" he said flipping through it. "Sirius was always such a pack rat" he grinned "I wonder if Harry ever went through his things"
"I don't think he did" Hermione said "Harry never went into that house" she sighed "but then again he might have. I didn't know he had a daughter. That's a given."
Remus nodded.
"Well, I have to go" she said "I guess I'll put her to bed and…"
He stopped her "take the book. It is of no use to me. You found it, there are so many spells on that book and you finding it means something, Hermione. Padfoot" he said to the book then "read it"
Hermione opened it to the first page and saw that now there was writing on it. She smiled at Remus "I guess that's what he meant by the letter. Did you see it?"
"What letter?" Remus asked.
"Never mind" Hermione at this point knew that Sirius was somewhat very powerful even while dead.
After a hasty goodbye to Tonks and a promise that Remus would explain to her about Emily, Hermione left Remus' house.
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July 6th 1976
The name is Sirius Black and this is my journal. No, not a diary, a journal and I won't bother with any of the formalities. I don't do the Dear Dairy scenario.
But I guess you must know a few things about me. I am 16 years old, hate my family in general, have three best friends and we all part of the marauders. This is the summer before my sixth year at Hogwarts and I cannot wait until it begins.
I begun writing in this after my uncle gave it to me telling me that this would help me in the long run. I don't know what he was talking about but I trust him.
She was at it again. Yelling, I mean. My mom, that is. She has gotten into the habit of thinking I actually listen to her. Go figure that one out. My brother of course just stared at me and then began to snicker. I hate the little bugger; he is just so disturbing buying into everything that they drive into that little head of his.
Hermione stopped reading and shook her head. It sounded like Sirius. A more carefree Sirius but she was still wondering about the fact that Remus had told her to read it. It was his diary. A journal or diary of any person was secret but here it was for her to read and she felt a little odd doing so.
July 7th 1976
Hello! The name is James Potter. I have just recently stolen Sirius' notebook and here I am writing to you. Then again I can't say I stole it because I just wanted to write a bit. Explain myself. He gave me not so much as a paragraph explaining.
16 years old of course with beautiful hair. Though no one likes to admit, old whiners, what can I say? Anyhow I must explain why Sirius is here. He ran away from home. His mother drove him to the edge and he nearly used magic on her but then he just told them he was leaving. I guess it is sort of for the best because this way he won't have to worry about them so much.
Anyways this was all I had to say so goodbye!
Hermione laughed at this. Harry's dad, she was pleased to say was a very interesting person. He would have been funny and nice and he would have been a great person. Hermione felt a small bit of pain at that. He had a very short life and Harry never got to know him. He never got what Hermione was getting at this moment while reading this. He never got the sense of actually knowing more than people that knew him knew, if that made any sense.
July 7th 1976
So there you go, that's my best friend, and mind you a very conceited one at that. But I'm here to write about the single fact that life is great or at least great when your family isn't breathing down your back.
I have been coming to James' house over the summer since the end of my first year at Hogwarts but I still returned home every summer. I still stayed there for at least two weeks. Not this year. I don't plan on ever going back. I mean I have two more years at Hogwarts.
The Potters already told me they will let me stay. James' parents rock!
Sirius had a lot in common with Harry it seemed. Hermione now thinking about the Dursleys remembered what Remus had told her to do. As much as they hated Harry they needed to know that he was dead.
Hermione had been dreading sending them a letter and now that she had begun thinking about it she wanted this letter out of her mind. Something did get it out of her mind; the doorbell ringing.
Ginny was as pretty as ever with long red hair that fell to her waist. She was rather skinny and stood there in front of the door waiting "Hermione" she said "I was looking through his things. He left a letter for you"
"Okay" she said and took what Ginny gave to her which was a very crumpled up piece of parchment that Hermione knew had been read by Ginny, or at least Ginny had tried to read it.
In the trio's seventh year Hermione had come up with a way to write down messages and have only Harry or Ron read them. She had taught the spell to her two best friends and they always used it. Ginny had not been privy to this information.
"Thanks" Hermione said and then "do you want to come in?"
But before Ginny could answer there was a cry from inside and Hermione heard Emily walking down the stairs. She ran towards Hermione and wrapped her arms around Hermione's legs.
Ginny looked at Emily and then to Hermione "who is she?" she asked then softly.
"Emily Potter" Hermione answered "she is Harry's daughter. I don't know who the mother is"
Ginny looked at the girl once more before simply apparating; she didn't seem to care if any muggles saw her. Hermione shrugged and closed the door "come on, sweets, what's the matter?"
Emily said nothing. Hermione didn't pick her up but took her hand and led her back to the kitchen "hungry?"
Emily nodded and watched as Hermione prepared her a quick sandwich and handed it to her "there you go" and then she set down a cup of pumpkin juice in front of her. Emily smiled and began to eat.
Hermione on the other hand was confused. Why had Harry not allowed his lawyer to have this letter and instead left it for Ginny to find her.
Hermione,
I never planned on ever telling anyone that I got married in a spur of the moment to a death eater. She wasn't a spy, and I knew it. Amelia Greyback hated her father and what he stood for and while she was a death eater she hated being so. I loved her.
We met while looking for the Horcruxes. Do you remember that night when I just didn't show up? I was with her. I guess that at first it was just a one night stand and then we corresponded through a diary that she gave me. Then she disappeared and I looked for her.
You must remember how much I stayed away for some time. While I had cared for Ginny it was different with Amelia and so when she told me that she was pregnant I told her to go into hiding and so she went to live in what will be your house now. The Black House seemed perfect. I went there only on occasion to see how she was doing and to see Emily.
I want you to take care of her. Amelia could never stay with her one week of the month. I told her that you would help her. Ron and I had to go Hermione. I am writing this right as you are telling Ron something outside the door.
I love you.
Harry
Hermione blinked back tears and stared at her best friend's daughter and that was when the doorbell rang again.
She was a tall woman with long black hair that fell down to her waist, amber eyes looked at Hermione with hope. She looked a bit sick but she was also very beautiful.
"Amelia Potter" Hermione said
"Hermione Granger" she said back "is Emily alright?"
"Yes, she is eating in the kitchen. Come on in" Hermione smiled at her "I just read Harry's letter of explanation. I'll help you out"
Amelia seemed nice enough to Hermione and the way she looked at her daughter was enough to tell Hermione that she understood love and that because of this that Harry loved her.
"I have something for you, Hermione" Amelia said before she and Emily left "Harry left this in my possession" she added and then handed Hermione a large leather bound book.
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Later that day after Emily left with her mother Hermione was in what she still assumed was Sirius' room. She was looking at the diary again.
July 13th 1976
I am back, my journal, life has been so much better here at the Potters even though times have begun to be harder now. I mean the simple fact that Voldemort is out there killing people with those followers of his just freaks me out and I just hate the fact.
My family is dark, did you know that? Yes, it is very dark in fact. I hate it for this. They may not be his followers but they think that it is a great idea what he is doing. It is so wrong that I come from people like them!
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Had to go eat some of Mrs. Potter's famous double chocolate chip cookies, let me tell you, if you haven't tried them yet, you haven't lived.
They have very soft middles with crunchy like tops and bottoms and they have very melted chocolate that nearly makes up the whole cookie and they are warm and smell nice and they are yummy in the tummy.
Sorry, couldn't help myself.
Anyways, James is shouting for me now. Remus should be here soon.
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July 15th 1976
Hello, Remus Lupin here saying hello to a diary. Okay, this is a little odd. I have never written in a diary. Sirius told me to write a bit about myself.
So here goes:
I'm a werewolf, a very hairy one at that—according to James that is. I am the top of my class and a prefect. I believe Dumbledore made me prefect to keep my trouble maker friends in line not that it works in any way.
I feel it is better to ignore them than do anything even though I know that it is totally wrong.
My parents once told me it is wrong anyway. They're always telling me that sort of thing. They're annoying really specially mum always worrying about me. I'm a werewolf, I get it but it isn't like I needed taking care of.
But besides that I believe I am done and Sirius is glaring at me because I can't seem to finish quickly enough. Maybe he wants to write something in here or maybe he's thinking about his family.
I can't believe he ran away for good this time.
Hermione stopped reading and smiled. That sounded like Remus alright. She smiled to herself a bit more and thought about how Sirius felt about things. She was beginning to see a different side to him than the crazy marauder. She was seeing the feelings behind the man and while she had wanted to look at the book Emily had given her this was much more interesting.
The entry ended there and then no one seemed to have written for the next three months.
October 20th 1976
Back at Hogwarts now, it is October now. Sorry for not writing, I guess that things just got out of hand. There was an attack in Diagon Alley and James' parents went to check everything out. They are Aurors you see. Then with James, and Remus a lot of things seemed to just make me forget to write.
That's just how my best friends are and I love them for this. Our sixth year has been interesting so far. Our teachers are still very wary of us waiting for any prank to be played, many have in fact.
But now I shall turn you over to my other best friend. The one you did not meet over the summer and the last member of the marauders, Peter Pettigrew.
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Peter Pettigrew that is my name; not a very great one, I agree. That isn't the point. I'm the last of the marauders and one of the most overlooked. All of my friends are good at something but not me. I am the black sheep of the group and I hate it.
I'm generally not good at anything and this annoys me, a lot. You know my friends are the best at least at something. James the quidditch star, Sirius the ladies man and he's also pretty smart, Remus the general bookworm and know-it-all he can tell you anything and everything about just about everything.
It sucks being the one that no one notices and I just want someone that does. Anyhow, I think that is all I can say. Sirius must want this back. He hasn't been writing in it after all. He explained all of it to us earlier when he was looking for his socks, Sirius tends to like matching his socks and can't have an unmatching sock as he had this morning.
He is so weird but I just wish to be like him. Like Sirius and James.
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November 2nd 1996
I don't know why he gave this to me but here is a go at it. Sirius is a marauder and I guess a friend to me seeing as he is my Potion's partner. I don't know why Slughorn did that this year. Maybe because I am good at it and he isn't. You go figure that out, tell me when you do.
Anyways the name is Lily Evans and I am the subject of James Potter's annoyance, I seriously do not know why either. I mean I shall admit that he isn't bad looking but he is so conceited and annoying.
The bane of my insistence and he should really stop asking me out. He knows that I always say no anyhow.
Anyways I guess that is it.
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Had to give it to Lily, she was there at the moment. Lily is James's subject of affection not of annoyance. James loves Lily with all of his heart which makes me a little confused because Lily hates him.
Anyways off to sleep. I need to look good in the morning.
Hermione shook her head and set the book down. Sirius had a point. It was very late and she too needed her sleep. Not wanting to walk back to her own room Hermione just left the books on the floor and laid back on the bed that had belonged to Sirius Black and fell asleep.