Mors ultima Ratio.
She tries to remember what her life before was.
Why can't she remember? Why would she want to remember?
She is Lilith. She is the lady of the night and the wind, the bearer of disease, illness, and death.
She is Yui. The mother who gave herself to ensure that her son would live in a better place.
She is Rei.
She tries to tell herself it's because she cares for them.
Why would she care? She was cast away by him, by them.
She is Lilith. She pronounces the Name that must not be Named and flies away into the air.
She is Yui. She has been trapped inside; unable to feel, unable to talk, unable to hold him tight, until the moment her feelings became so strong she absorbed him and it felt like eating your own child.
She is Rei.
She is starting to feel it inside her, within her, pulling, growing, a glow of some sorts evolving. It feels warm and inviting and then it's like a hot searing pain, raw and dividing.
She is Lilith. She is unique. She is not touched by "original sin", having left the garden before Eve came into existence.
She is Yui. Smart and warm. She has decide to challenge the Gods, to love him and bear his child.
She is Rei.
She is Lilith, powerful in her own right by knowing the name of God.
She is Yui, powerful in her own mind by knowing the plans of God.
She is Rei.
She is Lilith, and as she sees him and her, she realizes she never had a chance, she realizes they were destined to become Adam and Eve, and she will always be Lilith.
She is Yui, and as she sees both children, she can't help but smile and feel proud; he has chosen her for companionship, he is moving on, and she knows her mother, the other one will feel the same way as she does.
She is Rei, and she wants, she yearns, she would gladly kill herself if it meant she would be able to feel just for a second.
Ikari-kun...Your hand...the first time we touched, I didn't feel anything. The second time we touched, it felt a bit queasy. The third time, it made me feel warm Inside. The fourth time, I was just happy...Could I hold your hand again?
That was the last time she touched him, the last physical connection she had.
How was the fifth time? how did she felt about it?
Was it like touching the cool clear water by the pond? Was it like touching the hot handle of the kettle? Was it warm and inviting, like grabbing a cup of tea just made especially for her?
She is Lilith, the personification of erotic dreams, the suppressed desire for delights. She is Inanna, Ishtar, Asherah, Anath and Isis.
She is Yui, the embodiment of maternal instincts, the womb and breast feeding, the forbidden love of a mother and child. She is Jocasta, and Gaia and countless other more...
She is Rei. She is in love with her son, her blood brother. She is Hera and Rhea, Freyja and Sieglinde and Yrsa.
Her heart wants so badly to have a connection with people, and without her knowledge, without realizing it, her heart opens up and trembles, struggles and sheds blood.
She was alive.
And she realized this in the last moments of her life. As she slowly feels herself break down and away, as he choses her, as he goes back to the pain and the hurt.
She knew it would end this way, but she kept deluding herself into thinking it could end some other way.
But still, like the mother of them all, she yearns to be with him, she yearns to have her place.
She envies Eve.
She always will.
She is Rei.
She is Yui.
She is Lilith.
And she slowly begins to fall apart, piece by piece chunks of white and red and-