Disclaimers: I don't own the rights or the characters of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. I have no money, so suing me is a waste of time and energy.

Okay, well, I played KotOR, and found myself a bit annoyed that you could flirt with Bastila as a male, but not as a female, and I had no interest in playing a character flirting with Carth. I don't like him much. So I decided it was high time for me to improvise. This story is my version of the game, taken through my female character's perspective, but with lines she would never be able to have in the game. A lot of the dialogue is from the game, but some of it, and all the thoughts and such are mine. Sometimes I change the dialog or combine speech options because I like the way it sounds more.

One thing I wondered sometimes that also made me want to write this is what happens in the times the screen fades to black and a chunk of time passes. The characters must have some interaction in those times, right? At least in my mind. So, read and review, please. I want to know what people think. It's important to me.

Dakari: The Real Story

Chapter One: Meeting Bastila and the Destruction of Taris

She saw the Jedi for the first time, standing limply in the cage. The guard told her about the neural disrupter, and she could see its effects in the woman's unsteady balance and dull, colorless eyes.

'I will save you,' she thought, heading for the desk. Something about the woman drew her like a tractor field, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that she'd give her life to save the Jedi's. She pushed herself and the prototype accelerator to their limits, winning the race with an unprecedented time. When she went to claim her 'prize,' Brejik called her and the Hidden Beks cheaters due to the accelerator. When he attempted to withdraw his share of the winnings, Bastila suddenly looked up.

"I may have something to say about that, Brejik."

She watched as the beautiful Jedi stunned her guard, opening her cage and stealing his fallen weapon.

"What? Impossible! You were restrained by a neural disrupter! How could you have possibly summoned the strength to free yourself?"

Bastila's eyebrow rose as she slipped into a comfortable fighting stance.

"You underestimate the strength of a Jedi's mind, Brejik- a mistake you won't live to regret!"

The scout wondered if all Jedi were so violent. She had heard they were peaceful and reasonable, but this incredible woman was obviously aching for a fight. In the brief seconds before Brejik thought to respond, she admired the woman she had set out to rescue. Jedi or not, she was absolutely beautiful with her eyes flashing and her hands wrapped around a weapon like that.

"Vulkars - to me! Kill this woman! Kill the swoop rider! Kill them all!"

They fought together as if they had always done so, their strokes, her with twin vibroblades, Bastila with the double bladed weapon, were quick, hitting each enemy until they fell, and moving on to the next. Brejik and his guards were quickly eliminated. Suddenly sharp purple-gray eyes froze her in place, the personality behind them stunning her.

"Well, maybe those bloody Vulkars will think twice before they try to keep a Jedi prisoner! And as for you, if you think you can collect me as a prize... Wait... I don't believe this! You're... you're one of the soldiers with the Republic fleet, aren't you? Yes, I'm almost sure of it. How did you end up racing for these swoop gangs?" Bastila asked, her expression going from fierce and angry to startled curiosity, and something else she couldn't quite read.

She blinked, managing to avoid stuttering as she answered. "My name is Alriah Dakari."

For a brief instant, she felt her voice threatening to give away everything, but she mastered herself with an effort.

"I'm here to save you."

"Save me? Is that what you were trying to accomplish by riding in that swoop race? Well as far as rescues go this is a pretty poor example. In case you hadn't noticed, I managed to free myself from that neural restraint collar without your help. In fact, it's more accurate to say that I saved you! Brejik and his Vulkars would have left you for dead if I hadn't stepped into that fight. You're lucky I was here to get you out of this mess!"

Bastila's words rankled, but her tone was worse. She was completely overconfident, self absorbed, and critical, but despite all that, she was still hopelessly attracted to the woman. Nonetheless, Alriah's temper rose, her pride rejecting the idea.

"I think you've got things confused. You were a helpless prisoner until I came along!"

"I may have been a prisoner, but a Jedi is never helpless. Maybe you've heard of a little thing called 'the Force'? But I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on you. You did try to save me after all, even if it didn't go quite as planned. So let's get down to business - we're not out of danger yet. If I'm going to figure out a way for us to get off this planet I need to know what kind of resources we can draw on. First, are we the only two survivors left from the Endar Spire?"

Alriah sighed. This was getting them nowhere, and she couldn't risk exposing her emotions to the Jedi.

"Carth and I are already working on a plan to get off Taris."

Bastila's purple-gray eyes brightened slightly, and the scout sighed to herself. The Jedi's attitude grated, but she knew better than to show it.

"Carth Onasi is alive? Finally, some good news. Carth is one of the Republic's best soldiers. He's proved himself a hero a dozen times over! And he sent you here to save me? Maybe I misjudged you. Carth wouldn't have sent you if he wasn't confident in your... abilities. Forgive me - despite my Jedi training, I still tend to act a bit rashly sometimes. Please, take me to Carth right away. Between the three of us I'm sure we can figure out some way to get off this planet before the Sith realize we're here."

Her words mollified Alriah somewhat, and she led the way out, taking a moment to look through what Brejik was carrying, surprised to find a double-bladed lightsaber among his possessions.

"Is this yours?"

"My lightsaber!"

Alriah handed it over, raising a dark eyebrow and tilting her head.

"Brejik had it. I assume that had something to do with you being captured."

Bastila just glared at her, and she shook her head. She knew the woman was a Jedi, and on that basis alone she didn't stand a chance, but she could at least be more polite. Alriah had just risked her own life to save Bastila's, and had yet to even get a thank you. The other people she had helped on Taris had at least done that much.

'I hope all the Jedi aren't like her. One is enough.'

As they walked, something odd happened. A vision suddenly flashed through her mind of a caped and masked Dark Jedi facing off against none other than Bastila herself. She kept walking, but couldn't get her mind off the images. They had seemed so familiar somehow, but at the same time, strange.

'This isn't the time to deal with this, but I think I'll have to talk to her about it later.'

When they got back to the apartment, the exuberant Carth greeted them. She sighed at seeing the man. She didn't like him very much. He was frustratingly stubborn at times, and at others a bit of a flirt, and a rather bad one at that. He was always preaching about something, and she had learned to just go with it. She was interested in his past, if only because he was a hero of the Republic, but getting it out of him was like pulling Bantha teeth.

"Bastila - you're alive! Finally things are looking up. Now we just need to figure out a way to get off this planet."

Alriah sighed again when Bastila glared at the soldier too. She was getting fed up with that haughty, critical expression of hers.

"You mean you don't have a plan to get off Taris yet? What have you been doing all this time?"

The scout shook her head, feeling her short black ponytail brush her neck, the touch steadying her, making her feel slightly more grounded. At least she wasn't the only one the woman snapped at. She idly wondered if Bastila ever snapped like that in front of her Jedi masters, and doubted it.

"We were trying to find you, remember? Don't worry, we'll figure something out."

"I see. Now that I'm back in charge of this mission, perhaps we can start doing things properly. Hopefully our escape from Taris will go more smoothly than when you "rescued" me from Brejik."

She found that offensive, and apparently her 'partner' did too. Carth straightened, his eyes narrowing, his face darkening. Privately, she was amused by the way he puffed himself up, and sincerely doubted the Jedi was all that impressed by it. It might make her more bearable, but... she didn't want Bastila to be impressed too much by Carth.

"I know you're new at this, Bastila, but a leader doesn't berate her troops just because things aren't going as planned. Don't let your ego get in the way of the real issues here."

'Wait, when did she become our leader? The ego and berating parts are right, but she doesn't have the right to think she's suddenly in command after being out of the loop the way she was. They both seem to take it for granted that she's suddenly in charge. She may be beautiful, powerful, and intelligent, but she's not a leader,' she thought. It was true. Though she had no memory of being a leader herself, she knew she would never act the way Bastila was with anyone under her command. It was better to prove one's self to her troops than assume that she was in command. She could also tell that Bastila was one who, while headstrong and proud, could take orders and help in a chaotic situation, but couldn't control a situation and could easily find herself in over her head.

"That hardly strikes me as an appropriate way of addressing your commander, Carth. I am a member of the Jedi Order and this is my mission. Don't forget that! My Battle Meditation ability has helped the Republic many times in this war, and it will serve us well here I am sure."

"Your talents might win us a few battles, but that doesn't make you a good leader. A good leader would at least listen to the advice of those who have seen more combat than she ever will!"

Slightly annoyed by the argument she could sense brewing, she stepped between the two, holding up her hands for silence. She may have agreed with Carth, but that didn't mean she was going to let their bickering go on and on. She'd rather get away from the Jedi before her emotions became uncontrollable, and the sooner they got off Taris, the better.

"Both of you settle down! This isn't helping."

To her surprise, Bastila flushed, not in anger, but with something like shame and embarrassment, which only made her all the more charming to look at. The woman sighed, and she smiled to herself at see a crack in the rather cold outer appearance she'd been fighting through.

'She could be a genuinely sweet person if she'd just relax a little.'

"Yes... you're right, of course. I apologize, Carth. This has been a difficult time for me. Of course I'm happy to listen to your advice. What do you suggest we do?"

Carth smiled, letting out a breath, which deflated his chest somewhat. It amused Alriah a great deal to see this clear image of him as a bag of hot air, which is what he seemed to be at times. He may have been an excellent soldier, but he wasn't much of a people person.

"First off we can't get hung up on who's in charge; we all need to work together if we want to get off this rock. The answer's out there, we just have to find it."

Her eyebrow crawled a little higher than it had been. To hear something so sensible and reasonable from Carth was truly amazing. Bastila seemed impressed too, but the dark haired scout wished she could find some way to make a good impression on the Jedi too.

"Well said, Carth. And the sooner we start looking the better; I've already been a prisoner of the Vulkars and I don't plan on being captured by the Sith."

Dark eyes flashed, and Bastila looked at her in surprise at the sudden flare of her emotions, the first she'd given away since their initial meeting. She would NOT allow the beautiful woman to be taken again while she still drew breath. She would protect the Jedi, even if it meant her life. She would take on anyone, the Dark Lord of the Sith included, if it meant Bastila was safe.

"Don't worry. I won't let that happen."

The purple-gray eyes widened and warmed for a split second, and in that instant, she saw a myriad of emotions that were gone before she could identify them. The beautiful face closed down, becoming a hard mask.

"I think we'll need some help getting off Taris. Maybe if we ask around one of the locals can help us out. We should probably start by asking around in the cantinas," she said firmly, looking away from the dark-haired woman.

Alriah sighed. She'd given too much away. Despite that, she had some hope that she still had a chance to reach the Jedi, if she'd only let her. Putting her thoughts aside for the moment, though, she approached the other woman, doing the best she could to shield her emotions. There were other matters she needed to attend to.

"Is something wrong?" the Jedi asked as she approached, "You seem as if there's something troubling you."

She sighed. Yes, she was troubled by the vision, or whatever it was, that she'd had, but... did she really want to broach the subject? Bastila may or may not answer, and there was something inside her that didn't want to know. Still, it bothered her, and she decided to at least try to get some answers.

"Something weird happened when we first met. Like a vision."

The purple-gray eyes widened, and she saw a flash of fear cross the masked features, but it was gone as soon as she blinked. She tilted her head, wondering what could have caused that, but didn't get the chance to ask.

"A vision? A vision of what?"

The tone of the question confused her. On the one hand, Bastila sounded intense, almost... frightened... but on the other, she sounded... hopeful, eager even. As she answered, Alriah watched the other woman's eyes, looking for answers.

"Of you. Fighting a dark Jedi," she said slowly, thinking about it. She thought back to the robes the dark one had worn, trying to ignore that strange sense of deja vu. "Revan, I guess," she finished, remembering hearing that Bastila had fought Revan. The purple eyes widened, and again she caught a glimpse of that excited fear before it was hidden again.

"This is... strange. Such visions are often a sign of Force sensitivity."

The answer gave away nothing, but the Jedi's body language betrayed more than she probably realized. The way her eyes shied away from Alriah's said much, as did the sudden tense energy about her.

"Force sensitivity? What do you mean?" she asked softly, studying Bastila's response, aware that wherever this line of conversation was going, the woman was scared.

" I... I'm not sure. It may be that you have some connection to the Force. It would not be unheard of. When we first met, your natural talent may have fed off my own Force abilities. It is possible that in the excitement of the battle's aftermath the Force allowed you to witness one of my more intense memories."

Alriah frowned. She knew it wasn't that simple, and Force sensitivity or no, she could sense that Bastila was lying, or at least withholding something important. Without something more concrete, however, she couldn't exactly confront the woman, so instead she decided to dig a little more.

"This isn't the first time I've had a vision."

The stark statement got the response she expected, and it worried her. Bastila's eyes widened, and for just a moment, her face flushed, and she could very clearly feel the other woman's terror. What she couldn't understand was what could possibly cause that reaction.

"The Force is complicated," Bastila said slowly, apparently oblivious to the other woman's intense focus on her, or how blatant her emotions had been a moment before. "Even I with all my training cannot fully understand it yet," she continued, "This is a matter best left to the wise Masters of the Jedi Council. Once we escape Taris we can seek the guidance of the Council, if you wish. They will understand the significance of your vision... if there is any. However, I think it would be best if we all stayed focused on the task at hand right now. We can't afford any distractions; we need to find a way off Taris."

Alriah knew that was the end of the conversation, for the moment, anyway, so she turned away, using the workbench to upgrade her armor and vibroblades, along with Mission's. She took some time to talk to Mission about her brother, finding herself both bemused and concerned about the way the young woman defended the man who had apparently all but abandoned her. She decided to wait to hear what had happened with the woman named Lena, but it sounded as if Griff wasn't the most... reliable sort. She also spent a short time talking to Carth and Malabar about Taris, all the while trying to ignore her intense awareness of Bastila's presence and the way she was watching her. Finally, unable to ignore the feeling that the Jedi wanted something, she turned and strode back to her corner of the room.

"How can I help?" Bastila asked as she approached. Alriah smiled slightly, which seemed to confuse Bastila, but she decided that Bastila found her confusing and discomforting anyway. In many ways that bothered her, but it also pleased her to some degree that she wasn't alone in feeling that way.

"You want to talk to me about something?" she asked softly, finding herself needing to hold back from touching the other woman to try to put her at ease. By nature she wasn't the most tactile person, but sometimes a comforting touch was just what was needed to put someone at ease. She knew better then to cross that boundary, though, especially now when Bastila was looking at her in that strange way again.

"I would like to know what happened after you crashed on Taris. I'm curious as to what you and Carth were doing before we all joined forces," the Jedi answered slowly, her eyebrow raised.

"Before we rescued you, you mean," she answered, half-teasing and half-serious. She hadn't managed to erase the image of Bastila standing weakly under the effects of the neural disrupter collar from her mind. She had no doubt that if she hadn't come, Bastila would have been sold or worse.

" I managed to free myself, as I recall. In fact, if I hadn't been there Brejik and his thugs might have killed you in that fight. It's probably more accurate to say that I rescued you," Bastila answered sharply, apparently feeling that she was being mocked. Alriah just shook her head, torn between laughing and shaking the stubborn woman. Or simply kissing her. That was in there too, somewhere.

"Can't you just admit that you were rescued?" she asked, wondering what it was in this woman that refused to admit that she needed another's help. Once again she wondered if Bastila acted this way with her fellow Jedi and doubted it.

"I'll admit that I probably wouldn't have been able to free myself if not for the brawl after the swoop race. I guess I should thank you for that, at least."

Alriah sighed inwardly, realizing that that might be all she'd get out of the woman. Still, she was determined to at least chip away at that arrogant armor and see what was inside. She listened as Bastila went on, obviously trying to steer her away from the subject of rescue.

"Actually, your presence at the swoop track is what I'm curious about. It couldn't have been an easy task to find me there. Yet somehow you managed. You also avoided detection by the Sith, discovered I was a Vulkar prisoner, gained sponsorship for the race and became the Taris swoop champion. That's quite a resume."

"And rescued the damsel in distress. Don't forget that."

At Bastila's glare, she laughed to herself, keeping her emotions tightly under guard so they wouldn't be evident to the Jedi.

"Yes... well. I hardly consider myself a damsel in distress. I'm a member of the Jedi Order, after all. But I won't deny you've impressed me with what you've done."

Deciding to let the rescue thing go for the moment, pleased enough by the admission and the genuine emotion behind it, she replied, "I had a lot of help: Carth, Mission, Zaalbar."

That seemed to take Bastila by surprise. She obviously hadn't been expecting her to say that. She probably assumed she'd say something less... rational.

"Your modesty is admirable. But though others helped, you were the catalyst for these events. When you were chosen to join this mission, I doubt any of us expected this much from you. A Jedi could have done such things, of course. But only by drawing heavily upon the Force."

She tried to ignore the obvious prejudice in that statement. It didn't work.

"I think you're underestimating us non-Jedi," she commented, and then went on before Bastila could reply, seeing that she was readying herself for an argument, "Are you saying I can control the Force?"

"The Force is in all of us, though for most people it is a barely measurable whisper. But there are some individuals outside the Jedi Order that we considered 'Force sensitive'. It's obvious to me that the Force has been working through you. There is no other explanation for your great success, though I am not certain what to make of this discovery. Perhaps if you weren't - well, if you were younger the Jedi might take you for training. But as it is..."

As Bastila had started talking, Alriah had been annoyed with her, but as she continued, she realized that the other woman was speaking almost against her will, and again there was that strange combination of fear and excited, eager hopefulness. She actually found herself more concerned for Bastila then upset with her. There was obviously something going on under the surface, something that Bastila wanted to happen that she didn't dare dream would, but... there was no way to know what it was.

"Be glad I'm Force sensitive, or I couldn't have rescued you," she said teasingly, deciding it was better to risk annoying the woman than let her dwell on whatever it was that haunted her. She got the response she had half-hoped for when Bastila raised an eyebrow, her purple eyes becoming almost transparent. This fascinated her. Most people's eyes darkened, but Bastila's just got lighter.

"Ah, yes, the rescue again. Very well. For what it's worth, I concede the point to you: you rescued me from Brejik. And yet we're still stuck here on Taris," she said, sounding sarcastic, resigned, annoyed, smug, and bemused all at once, though Alriah thought there might be just a trace of admiration in there somewhere as she continued, "Hopefully between your abilities, my Jedi training and the skills of our companions we can find a way off this planet."

Once again she knew she was being dismissed, but this time she found herself wanting to smile. She caught herself, knowing that Bastila would wonder why she was smiling and ask about it, and that wasn't a conversation she was willing to have. Instead, she gestured for Carth and Bastila to accompany her out the door and into the main building. She wasn't surprised in the least when the Twi'lek who ran the kiosk told her Canderous was waiting. She'd run into the Mandalorian too many times to think he wouldn't be important to their cause. Knowing that it was likely that whatever Canderous wanted would fit into her plans anyway, she stopped by the shop on the way into the Cantina for supplies, and as they were leaving, Carth turned to Bastila, a curious look on his face.

"Bastila, I was wondering something. How did those Vulkars manage to capture a famous Jedi like you? Were you knocked out when your escape pod crashed?"

Bastila frowned irritably, but Alriah had a feeling that she might have more cause than usual to not want to answer that question, and found herself mildly annoyed with Carth for asking. She considered intervening, but curiosity won out for the moment.

"No, I was conscious," Bastila answered slowly, her eyes, interestingly enough, flicking to her for a moment, "But my Force powers were exhausted from using my Battle Meditation in the battle for the Endar Spire. Without my help you might never have gotten off the ship alive.

Alriah noticed that this point seemed very important to her, and thought she understood why. Whatever had happened embarrassed Bastila, and she wanted it very clear that she had been handicapped by doing something important to their survival. Carth seemed to understand this, at least to some degree, but he still pressed the issue.

"Fair enough. But I've seen you Jedi in action. There's no way those thugs would have stood a chance against your lightsaber."

This got her attention immediately, and she was almost sure she knew what had happened. Dark eyes closed for a moment, and in one of those moments that seemed to be coming more frequently, she knew what was coming.

"My lightsaber was... misplaced," the Jedi replied coldly, once again glancing at her, obviously surprised to see warmth and understanding in her expression, "I couldn't find it after the crash. I looked everywhere in that pod. The Vulkars came and overwhelmed me even as I was searching for my weapon."

"Wait a minute, let me get this straight. You lost your lightsaber?" Carth asked, laughing, apparently oblivious to the glare he was getting from the raven-haired scout, "I mean, isn't that a violation of some kind of Jedi code or something?"

"Leave her alone, Carth," Alriah said sharply, her voice cutting through his mirth with the same razor intensity as her sword as Bastila flushed, trying to appear cold and collected but obviously feeling humiliated. When the other woman looked at her, the scout was looking at her with sad, understanding eyes, and Bastila was once again confused. Once again, though, Carth couldn't contain his mirth and chuckled, drawing the Jedi's attention, and her wrath.

"This is no laughing matter! During the crash my lightsaber mush have... it must have fallen from my belt and rolled under my seat! The Vulkars probably found it there when they searched the wreckage."

Carth, finally realizing that he was laughing at a proud, irate woman with Force Powers and a lightsaber while an exceptionally dangerous and apparently annoyed scout glared at him warningly, held up his hands and shook his head, finding himself more afraid of the quiet, cold menace that radiated from Alriah Dakari than any threat from Bastila, Force powers and lightsaber included.

"Hey, hey, hey, don't get mad. I'm sorry. It's just funny to think of a legendary Jedi losing her lightsaber. Take my advice: this is one detail you might want to keep out of the history texts."

Bastila seemed to almost not hear him. She had picked up on the cold, tightly controlled anger that Alriah had been directing at Carth, and was looking at the other woman with an expression that once again touched on fear, excitement, and something else all together.

"I hardly consider myself a legend, Carth," she responded absently, shaking her head to keep from staring into dark eyes that held depths she couldn't begin to fathom, despite her abilities and knowledge, and focused on what she was saying, "Though I will consider your advice when I relate these events to the Jedi Council. There is no need for them to know every detail of what transpired."

That seemed to settle the matter for everyone involved, although Alriah could sense both Carth and Bastila watching her, Carth with obvious fear, concern, and attraction, Bastila with poorly veiled interest, appreciation, and something that could have been fear, or it might not have been. She wasn't sure. Despite the strength and obvious displays of the Jedi's emotions, in some ways she was still a very hard read. Obviously, she had absorbed some of her Jedi training, though not all of it. It seemed to be selective. There was something that Bastila felt she had to protect above all else, even if it meant losing control over some other things. The thought interested her, but she had to put the thought aside as they went into the Cantina. As they talked with the mercenary, she realized it was exactly what she'd expected. They would get the codes from the Sith base to get through the blockade, and he would help them get a ship. She glanced at Bastila over her shoulder, surprised to see an expression on her face that could have been sorrow.

"I don't sense any deception from him, which is surprising. This may be exactly what we need," she commented softly. Alriah frowned inwardly. Bastila seemed upset about something, and she doubted it was the lightsaber issue. She kept an eye on her as they found Janice Nall's droid shop and bought T3-M4, and as they hacked into the Sith base, bribing the desk clerk and fought the Sith troops. She was amazed and pleased once again to find that she and Bastila fought in near-perfect sync, as if they'd always fought together. As they approached the elevator, Bastila hesitated for a moment, and she turned, curious. The younger woman didn't say anything, just strode into the elevator after giving her a long, searching look.

"What was that all about?" she muttered, out of the hearing range of the other two. She followed them into the elevator, which took them to the Governor's office. As it turned out, he was a Dark Jedi apprentice who had yet to earn his lightsaber. Alriah found him to be somewhat pathetic. He was undisciplined, angry, and thought he was the master of the world when instead all she saw was a frightened child. As he fell at their feet, she sighed, looking down at him. Sorrow and regret filled her. She'd tried to give him a chance. She felt so alone... She'd tried...

I know.

She lifted her head, looking at Bastila. She seemed startled, but didn't say anything. The voice that had spoken, that she'd found so soothing, so reassuring, had not been Carth's. She was sure of that. She had no proof, however, that it had been Bastila. Except, of course, for the fact that she'd felt exactly that the one time Bastila had touched her, though it had been an accidental brush, she'd felt almost the same thing, though to a lesser degree.

Don't be frightened. Don't feel alone. I'm here. I'll always be here.

She sighed, feeling the words like a touch, and could almost feel a gentle hand stroking her hair, her face. The pain faded, and though it didn't leave, it was bearable. She felt something in her, as if there was something else inside her, something that wasn't her, but wasn't unwelcome, either.

I've been here since then.

Before she could respond, the presence faded. Just as she would have grieved for the loss, she realized it was still there, just not so close. But it was in reach, if she needed it. Deciding that she didn't need to understand it yet, as it didn't feel remotely evil. It felt... strong, warm... and loving.

"Then?" she whispered, and then shook her head. It was all right. She could wait for the answers. Turning back to her companions, she gave Bastila a long look. On the off chance that the voice had come from Bastila, it wasn't the woman she'd seen thus far. But then, she already knew that the Bastila she'd seen wasn't the real woman. The fear in her eyes made her wonder, too. Bastila was frightened. She half-smiled at the Jedi, and oddly enough, that seemed to scare her more. She hid it, but Alriah had seen it. Bastila watched her fearfully as they went back to the apartment, and she could tell that the woman was expecting... something from her. That same expression haunted her as she took Mission and Bastila with her down to the Lower City, heading for the Cantina. That was, of course, until Mission decided to speak up.

"Hey, Bastila. You ever just use the Force for fun? You know, a little jolt of the Force to trip some jerk who's ticking you off?"

If Bastila had been a kath hound, the fur would have stood up all over her body. She turned, her eyes blazing. Amusingly enough, Bastila reminded her of Carth in that moment, only much more beautiful, and much more indignant.

"I would never use the Force for such a petty and trivial revenge! The mere thought of it is preposterous!"

"Ah, come on. There's got to be times when you've thought about it. Don't be so stuck up - you can tell me."

Alriah watched the interaction with interest. Mission was being her typical teenage self, thinking she was all grown up and sharing secrets with the adults. But it didn't work that way. Mission wasn't an adult, and Bastila... well, she was Bastila.

"I am not stuck up," the Jedi replied sharply, sounding exactly that, "I merely have the years of training to give me the wisdom and understanding to see how childish such an act would be."

If they were capable of it, Alriah would have expected Missions blue and black headtails to stand on end, and she stood back, waiting for the inevitable tantrum.

"Childish?" And there it was. "Is that a crack about my age? You ain't much older than me, miss high and mighty! Just 'cause you're some Jedi doesn't mean you can be a prissy little..."

Mission suddenly found her feet up in the air, and hit the metal flooring hard on her back. Alriah just shook her head as Mission jumped back up

"What the -?? Hey, that wasn't funny!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Mission. Come now, we have to get going. Please do try to be less clumsy in the future."

Alriah was impressed. Bastila did a very good impression of smug innocence. She sighed, and sent Mission back to the apartment as they approached Javyar's Cantina and spoke with Canderous. The last thing she needed was a pissed off teenager while she dealt with a Mandalorian. As Canderous laid out his plan, Bastila became more and more agitated.

"This is too risky. We should find another way."

Canderous gave some sarcastic response she didn't listen to, instead focusing on Bastila's reply.

"No, I... don't have another plan. I would rather not place my life in your hands, however."

That was interesting. As Bastila said that, she had been looking at Canderous, but as she finished, she was looking at her. Did that mean Bastila would place her life in her hands? It certainly seemed to be exactly what she was doing. As they traveled to the estate, Bastila sat near her, and far from Canderous. They weren't touching, but at no point was the Jedi so far that Alriah couldn't feel the heat of her body radiating from her. Considering the way Bastila had been avoiding being near her in the beginning, this interested her, but she wasn't going to question it. She kept an eye on Bastila all the while she was talking to Davik, aware the other woman was watching her and trying to hide it. With a mental shrug, she just continued to speak and act as she always did. After Davik left and they started to explore the estate, Canderous stopped them, just as Carth had at one point, and she knew what to expect, bracing herself for it. Canderous was less annoying than Carth, but they certainly had some things in common. Like their temper, their pride, and their need to be superior to the superior Jedi in some way.

"So, Bastila, I heard a rumor that the Vulkars captured you without much of a struggle. It must be embarrassing to be bested by a handful of street thugs."

Alriah sighed, trying to decide whether or not to intervene. Bastila may have been arrogant, stuck up, proud, and stodgy, but she still didn't deserve to be attacked like she had been.

"There were extenuating circumstances. And I can assure you it took far more than a handful of Vulkars to subdue me."

"Okay, let's not get into this," she interjected, seeing how, under the surface, the Jedi was hurt by the repeated mentions of the incident. She was covering it with stubborn pride, and she was legitimately angry. But of course, Canderous wasn't going to listen to her.

"Whatever you say. All I know is that if we had more Jedi like Bastila fighting against us in the Mandalorian wars, my side might not have lost."

"Bold talk from a broken-down mercenary who was serving at Davik's heel. I'd call you his pet kath hound, but they have enough loyalty not to turn on their masters."

"Insults? Maybe if your Master had trained your lightsaber to be as quick as your tongue you could have escaped those Vulkars, you spoiled little Jedi princess!"

"I was not spoiled! I was given the same training as everyone else in the Order! You are nothing but a... no. I must not do this. There is no emotion; there is peace.

"That's the problem with you Jedi," Canderous scoffed "Always chanting about peace and control, never up for a good fight. Well, except for Revan, I guess."

That struck home. For a split second, Alriah could almost physically feel the impact of the words. That was strange. There was no logical reason that should have thrown her so badly, unless... she had something to do with Revan. If she trusted her vision, Bastila had fought Revan. It was entirely possible she had been traumatized it, or there was something else, something that she'd suppressed or fought since then.

"Enough, Mandalorian," she said coldly, "I won't rise to your bait any more. The game is over. Let us continue on with what we were doing."

Even Canderous had to back off from that cold tone. Even a blind, deaf-mute could have felt the cold wave that spread from her. Alriah felt it run through her and stepped forward, one hand "accidentally" pressing against Bastila's. The younger woman seemed to slowly relax as Alriah calmed her own mind. The calm seemed to surround them both, and the cold around Bastila diminished. As they went on, getting the codes for the hanger, fighting Davik, and fighting their way through debris as the Sith bombed the planet, she continued to reach out for Bastila every time she felt her getting too upset. She also found that the times Bastila got upset coincided with something else, like the Sith bombardment, which she thought meant the Jedi sensed the pending events, which helped her determine when they were in the most danger. Before they could reach the Ebon Hawk, though, a huge piece of debris fell from the ceiling, right down on Bastila. She saw the Jedi strain to either get out of the way or use her Force powers, but it was just too big.

"Bastila!" She leapt forward, grabbing the woman and pulling her close, wrapping both arms around her and diving to the floor, using her body to cushion the Jedi's smaller form, then rolling to protect her from the falling debris. She used the momentum to roll back to her feet and keep running, ignoring the pain and keeping Bastila close. She could feel the woman's surprise and concern, but there was no time. When they finally got to the ship's ramp, Carth ran to the bridge immediately while she and Bastila moved more slowly, knowing there was nothing they could do at the moment but gather themselves for whatever was coming next.

"Bastila, are you hurt?" she asked softly once they got out of Canderous's hearing range. The Jedi shook her head slowly, looking at her closely, her eyes a confused maelstrom of emotion.

"Why... why did you... you saved my life. You could have been killed by that debris."

That surprised her. She hadn't expected Bastila to admit that so readily, nor was she going to push the issue.

"It was nothing. I just... didn't want you to get hurt."

Bastila frowned slightly, looking down at the deck.

"Because it's your mission to protect me for the war effort," she said, her voice flat.

"No," she answered, aware that an answer wasn't expected. She could have just left it at that, but she suddenly felt it very important that Bastila know that she wasn't just a mission to her, just a chore or duty, "no, Bastila, that's not it. For Carth, that might be enough, but not for me."

Bastila looked up, confused and unsure.

"What do you mean by that?"

Alriah shrugged slightly, having some trouble meeting Bastila's clear purple eyes but not sure why.

"I'm a scout, Bastila. Soldiers do their duty and that's enough for them. Me... I have to have a reason beyond that. I care about you. I don't want to see anything happen to you. Not because of duty, or because you're a Jedi, but because of who you are as a person. So don't worry, Bastila, you don't owe me anything. All I ask of you is that you take care of yourself."

"Alriah," Bastila whispered, clearly touched and more than a little surprised by her honesty. Alriah smiled faintly, pushing her dark hair out of her face.

"Come on. We should almost be to the apartment if we're not there already."

As they picked up their companions, Bastila took a place on the bridge, along with Carth. She stood behind Bastila's chair, leaning over her, getting another of those odd sensations. This one told her that Bastila wanted her close and took comfort in her presence.

"Plot a course for Dantooine! There's a Jedi enclave there where we can find refuge!" Bastila called over to Carth, inputting a set of coordinates.

"Incoming fighters!" he cried, scanning the radar.

Bastila turned to her, reaching up with one hand, which landed, possibly accidentally, but probably not, on her own. The woman was pale and obviously shaken, her eyes seeming to hold the weight of a world's tragedy in them, Alriah herself felt weighed down, as if millions upon millions of souls were crowding against her, crying for her to save them. She shook her head, feeling a rush of understanding from the Jedi, but there was no time to deal with that now, though with the understanding came the support they both needed to deal with the weight of all those souls.

"Quickly, to the gun turrets! You have to hold the Sith fighters off until we get those hyperspace coordinates punched in."

She nodded and ran down the trembling corridors to the turrets, balancing herself without even thinking about it. The shaking of a ship under fire was nothing new to her muscles. She found a certain level of familiarity and comfort in it actually, as if she'd always lived on ships under fire and the relative stability of a planet was almost foreign to her. As she climbed into the gunner's seat, she took the controls with ease, no thought required to track and destroy the drone fighters. Instead, she thought about Bastila. She was sure she was imagining that she could still feel Bastila's hand on her own, but it seemed so real that she almost looked around for the woman. Her order to come here had been abrupt but not unkind or uncaring. Actually, she had noticed a certain hesitation to the order, and the scout wondered if perhaps the Jedi hadn't wanted her to leave, but that was ridiculous. Wasn't it?

"I'm delusional," she muttered to herself, destroying the last of the fighters. She double-checked her scanners to be sure, then ran down to the bridge, just as they entered hyperspace. She almost lost her balance at the sudden shift, but she suddenly found herself braced and saw the Jedi looking at her intently, a slight strain showing on her face.

'Bastila...'

She reached forward and took hold of Bastila's chair, bracing herself against it and lightly squeezing her shoulder in thanks. For just a moment, Bastila looked immensely relieved as she got herself settled safely into one of the bridge chairs, and she wondered what that was about. She sighed to herself as they got settled into hyperspace, suddenly exhausted beyond words. Something nagged at her, but she didn't have the energy to figure out what it was. Now that the adrenaline was gone, her wounds made themselves known, and they hurt. She rose when she was sure there weren't going to be any more crises for now and walked slowly to the dormitory Mission wasn't in. She didn't have the energy to deal with anyone right now. Something inside her mind was pressing to get out, and it was taking what little strength she had to hold it back. The effort was making her head pound painfully, adding to the already long list of pains and aches. She flopped gracelessly onto a bed, trying to find a reasonably comfortable position for her weary, injured body and not succeeding.

"Are you alright?" a soft voice asked, and she smiled faintly, not bothering to open her eyes. She knew that voice, that presence, though there was more warmth and care in it than she'd noticed so far.

"I'm well enough, Bastila. I'm still alive, after all."

She heard the other woman moving and decided that opening her eyes might just be worthwhile. She found the Jedi kneeling at her side, one hand on the bed, the other bracing her weight on the deck. Her expression was genuinely concerned, the warm regard taking away some of the feelings of loneliness and isolation that she'd been experiencing.

"You're hurt."

"Yes, but I'll live."

"That is not enough."

That got her attention. She actually lifted her head to get a better look at the other woman. Bastila herself seemed rather startled, but she shook her head slightly, sighing to herself.

"What isn't enough?"

"Living. It's good that you'll live, Alriah, but you're hurt. There's no need for you to suffer, is there?"

Alriah smiled a little at that, relaxing back onto the pillow while still keeping an eye on the Jedi.

"I'll be all right."

"Why don't you use a medpac at the least," Bastila asked, clearly prepared to press the issue.

"Because we don't have that many left. Carth used more than I anticipated. He really needs to do better in close-range combat, or do a better job of staying back. The advanced pacs are especially low, and I still haven't seen any place we can buy more than a few at a time. We don't know when we'll need them in bulk or when we'll be able to get more."

Bastila shook her head, looking at her almost affectionately.

"But I... we... will definitely need you, preferably in good health. Who else will keep Carth from getting killed? Or... or me?"

The scout's dark eyebrow rose at the admission and she smiled slightly.

"I'll be okay with some rest, Bastila. But... thank you."

Bastila looked at her for a long time, then slowly sat down beside her on the bed, looking uncertain and uncomfortable, but still she stayed where she was.

"How is that good enough for you? You must be in quite a bit of pain... I don't know that I would be so strong."

Alriah smiled, hiding her surprise that the other woman was being so open with her.

"I don't know, Bastila. I imagine I'm just used to it. Don't worry too much about me. I'm rather difficult to kill."

At that Bastila's expression became a mask of pain and regret, and her voice was a mere whisper.

"I know."

Before the scout could think of anything to say in the face of the agony Bastila radiated, the Jedi reached out, her cool hand against a cheek that had become almost feverishly warm. She felt the cool rush she always did when Bastila used the Force, then the wash of calming light that was her healing power. It didn't heal all her wounds, but it made her far more comfortable, the pain reduced to a much more bearable level. Again she felt the Force wash over her, and she looked into Bastila's eyes, seeing a strange distance there as if she were both there and somewhere else.

"Bastila..."

Those clear purple-gray eyes met hers, relief showing finally as Alriah's wounds closed.

"You didn't have to do that," the scout said softly, watching those eyes focus on her with evident relief.

"Yes I did. You wouldn't do any less for me."

That was true, but she hadn't expected her to say that, of all things.

"No, but..."

Bastila shook her head, gently brushing black hair out of her face.

"Rest, Alriah."

She would have protested, but she could feel the Force flowing her through her, relaxing her muscles and her mind until she couldn't help but fall back onto the bed. Her eyes started to close, and she struggled to remain awake, wanting to say something to Bastila but not quite sure what.

"Thank you," she managed, struggling to keep from slurring her words, "you rest... you need to rest too..."

Bastila smiled down at her, stroking her cheek once before rising.

"Don't worry about me right now. You do that enough anyway."

"It's never enough," she murmured, surrendering at last the pull of sleep. Just as the last vestiges of her consciousness faded, she felt something soft brush her lips, but had no way to tell if it was a dream or reality. The last thought she had was how glad she was that Bastila had come to check on her.