Disclaimer: Square Enix owns Final Fantasy VII
A/n: Happy Birthday Tifa!
Colored Stars
As beautiful as the sights were, her heart wasn't really in the ride.
It reminded her of the last time the she'd been on the gondola with him, cruising the sky above the Gold Saucer with her heart pumping in her ears and words that would torture her for years to come, stuck in her throat.
And the untimely interruption of fireworks.
And then, the world fell apart, and the angel died and Cloud was lost to Tifa in ways that were a thousand times more painful than the brutal reality of his disappearance. And it had been so hard to let him go, to give him up that Tifa didn't think she'd survive living through it, through what she was living now, all over again.
But Cloud, he'd insisted she'd come with him when she shook her head, tugged her by the hand when she resisted, silenced her when her lips moved to protest and he'd been so easygoing about it, so calm and unburdened that Tifa felt her throat go dry and her eyes water at how dismissive he was over that last time when she was falling apart in her attempt to reveal her feelings to him.
She'd yielded, because she was too lost in her struggle against her tears to resist and she let him lead her into the gondola cart to start their journey in the sky and her own secret trip through her memories to wonder of the things that could have been.
If only the fireworks hadn't burned the sky and scorched her heart….
It was pounding this time too, but there was no anxiety there, there was no nervousness, there was a desperate need to get off, to run away from that moment and never come back, to shake her head so hard till that tormenting memory broke into pieces that could never be fixed.
But when Cloud sat opposite her watching the world below with a peaceful smile on his face and when he had her hands in his, idly sweeping his thumbs over her knuckles, Tifa knew that she was caged in this moment that melded past and present and a distinct fear of the future.
"Tell me."
His voice caught her attention, and she looked up at him, her face still contorted in a troubled expression, and watched him watch the sky. Cloud turned to her, the smile still there, an unreadable look in his eyes and his hands stilled against her fingers, just holding hers gently, trapping them in his like he was trapping her in a memory in the middle of the sky.
"What you were going to say last time," he explained and her tired heart took a plunge down to her knees.
She looked back down at her hands, wrapped in his, resting against his knees and said nothing, not knowing that she was holding back tears till the first one leaked through and dripped to her lap.
"Is it really that hard?" Cloud asked her softly, but he made no move to pressure or comfort her and went back to watching the sky, still calm, still unmoved, still breaking her heart with the passiveness with which he regarded a moment in history that had nearly crushed her entire being.
When the fireworks started, it brought along a flood of tears from her eyes, sparkling streams trickling down her cheeks, dripping off her chin and staining her skirt, and she pressed her lips together to hold back the sob burning her throat and concentrated on the sound of her heartbeat to block out the noise that had once upon a time, blocked out her voice when it was trying to set her free.
"Aren't you going to watch?"
She would have shaken her head but Tifa didn't think she could move without breaking apart altogether so she sat in silence, her head bowed, eyes soaked, hands tense underneath his and braced for her very own world to fall apart once again.
"Watch, Tifa."
There was no force behind his words but the order was there, and she shrank into a shell she hadn't known she'd put up, before her hands were dropped free and her whole body started trembling.
And then, Cloud was sitting beside her, facing her, his arms sliding around her waist, fingers lacing together at her side, pulling her close and he set his chin gently on her shoulder listening to her silent tears. He pressed his cheek to hers, unconcerned by the dampness lingering there and turned them both turned slightly so he could continue to watch the fireworks.
"Watch, Tifa," he insisted softly, and nuzzled her neck, gently pressuring her into turning her head so her eyes could skim the sky.
And the fireworks, like before, cut through her thoughts.
She saw her name written there, shaped like fireworks, fireworks shaped like her name, a burst of colorful stars, a single flash, a quick spark and she spoke it slowly, her eyes tracing each letter with a kind of distant curiosity that made Cloud smile against her skin.
"Ti…fa…."
Her voice was weak and broken, strangely detached, but something in her eyes changed when they reflected the words written in the sky, and when she spoke the letters that the next flash spelled, the curiosity was fading and with it the world until all that was left was her and him and the beautiful words lighting up the sky.
"I," she swallowed, murmuring, "love you..."
And the tears in her eyes, the tears trickling in steady, sparkling rivulets down her cheeks became of an entirely different nature.
"See? It isn't," Cloud told her, fingers touching her chin, and they steered her to face him once again, and his lips brushed easily over hers, the resulting kiss too simple and too natural to offer any room for hesitance or doubt or heartbroken memories.
His eyes were clear, his smile tender when he pulled back, framing her face, and he pressed his forehead to hers as he thumbed her cheeks and swept away her tears.
"It isn't so hard."
And how had she ever suspected it to be so when Cloud had her effortlessly saying the words he'd longed to hear her say while he was, so easily, telling them to her?
She nodded, almost in a trance, dazed and overwhelmed by how right it felt to be sitting alone with him, in the warmth of his arms, suspended in a dark sky splashed with noisy, colored stars, spelling words that were only supposed to be spoken in fairytales. She leaned in, dark lashes bushing his skin when she closed her eyes against his throat and changed her memories into miracles.
Cloud was right here. And he was right.
So when she spoke, she did it easily and she spoke with her heart and the words sounded like heaven and the brush of her lips against his skin was paradise.
And it wasn't so hard.
"I love you too."