Who Was She?

Chap 3

A/n: Life Sucks (And I Can Prove It)!! Lol!!

Xx

As I walk through the house I can't help thinking about my mom. She had been alone for a lot of time in her childhood; her dad wasn't right in the head. Grand-mere, didn't care about him, she didn't care about Mom for awhile. I'm scared now, Tasha should be here, and they all should be here. I've never wanted Logan more. This house is so big that it is so scary when empty. I have never watched the TV alone, I have never been truly alone, because of the complications of my brain, but I'm stuck in this house with no idea where my sister and my mom's ex-boyfriend and his family are. I sit on the couch with my legs crossed, doing nothing. I miss them now; I need them now more than ever.

My mom's photo is on the coffee table where it has never been before, it the darkened frame. I pick it up in my hands and stare into her beautiful green eyes, a tear rolls down my cheek. She looks happy with her arms around Logan's neck. He looks so happy, so carefree. I can't believe that Mom dumped us on him. It seems so selfish, she left Tasha when she was a baby on Grand-mere, she didn't think about it. Maybe she didn't think about me or Logan. It would make me cry to find out she never thought of me, to find out she died without ever thinking, that I, her daughter, would grow up to resent her because she left me in this world without even an inkling of to who she was. I do resent her for that, but in so many ways I long to know her. I long to know why she thought it would be better for me to live and not with her, my mother. In that respect my mom was never selfish. But how did she think I could live without ever knowing her? How did she think I would live knowing my mom had left me as a baby? How did she think I would live knowing I was the reason Tasha has no mom, Logan has no love, Pierre has no best friend, and my dad feels guilty.

If only life was as simple here as it is in Lola Land.

Xx

A/n: Soz 4 tha short rambling chap!!