Authors Note: Sorry about the long wait for this chapter. Been a bit busy other the past months with exams. Hopefully now the hols are here I should be able to get more chapters written and uploaded for you to read.

Also thanks to Smicky, webbswoman and everyone else who has left reviews. It's all greatly appreciated and all your comments are so encouraging. Hope you all enjoy this chapter:

Chapter 5

'So how'd it go?' Jack asks a soon as I arrive for work the next morning.

''Ow'd what go? I ask.

'The counselling,' he replies, eager for an answer to his question.

'Ok I guess. The counsellor reckons I 'ave some kinda Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.'

'Well I don't think I can argue with that,' says Jack, 'and neither can you, Mickey.'

He's right for as much as I think counselling is a big waste of time. The counsellor was right: the rape has definitely traumatised me. I just didn't want to admit to it before. All this begs the question:

'Delaney – 'e knew didn't 'e, guv?'

'Knew what, Mickey?' asks Jack, a little puzzled.

'He knew exactly what 'e was doing. What the effect on me would be when he raped me an' how that effect would still be there years after the rape itself was over. 'E wanted that power; that control that a rapist 'as over their victim an' I let 'im 'ave it when he raped me!'

I can feel the tears falling down my face. I rub at them with the back of my hand but to no avail as it just makes them stronger.

'I let 'im rape me, Jack, I'm dirty an' weak an' suffering still an' all because I wasn't strong enough to stop 'im doing that to me.'

'No, Mickey, none of this was ever your fault,' says Jack as he holds me close and tries to comfort me.

All I can do is sob on his chest.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

I am, once again, sitting in Doctor Cassandra's office. After getting through the pleasantries we sit in silence for a few minutes. Suddenly she says:

'How have you been since the last time are last appointment?'

'Ok…. I guess.'

'I'm going to need just a little more information than that, I'm afraid, Mickey.'

'I don't know. I'm kinda feeling angry with myself.'

'Why is that, do you think?'

'I dunno…when you said I was suffering from Post Traumatic Disorder-'

'-Yes what about it?'

'It's just I realised then that Delaney knew exactly what he was doing when he raped me. He knew the psychological damage that he was inflicting on me as well as the physical and I should have known that and shouldn't have went after him alone…the rape it was all my fault because, as a police officer, I should have realised that the evil bastard was disturbed in the 'ead an' should've been approached 'im with caution.'

'Mickey, you are a police officer not a criminal profiler you didn't know he was going to do what he did,' Doctor Cassandra tries to reassure me, 'and, as a police officer, I am sure you know that rape is never the victim's fault.'

I, however, am not convinced.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

When I arrive at work, later that day, there is only one other person in CID: DI Sam Nixon. We haven't seen or spoken to each other since I returned to work after my failed suicide attempt and so the first thing she says is:

'Oh God, Mickey!! Are you ok?'

Ok now is the time to admit that I'm rather taken aback by Sam's concern because it's uncharacteristic for her to show concern like this. I'm not saying the woman is a cold-hearted bitch because she isn't it's just that normally she's detached. That's what makes her such a good officer.

'Yeah I'm fine, guv,' I reply.

'I'm sorry.'

'Sorry? Sorry for what, guv?'

'For not removing you from the case despite the direction it was taking and the obvious emotional effect that was having on you.'

'It wasn't your fault, guv, it was my own. When I discovered the body and realised what 'ad 'appned I should've requested to be removed from the case instead of going to DCI Meadows and demanding I remain apart of the investigation. Still I've learnt my lesson from that one: next time if somefing like that comes up again and I'm working on it I'll ask Jack to remove me from it straight away.'

As soon as Sam has gone the phone on my desk rings I pick it up and, in a cheery voice, answer it.

'Hello DC Mickey Webb here-'

'Hello, DC Webb, how are you? Have you been missing me?' A sadistic, Scottish accented voice says.

I feel the hairs rise on the back of my neck as I realise whom the owner of the voice is.

'Delaney,' I say back, ''ow and why are you calling me, you sick bastard?'

'Ah'm calling you from the phone box at Longmarsh prison; just a wee courteously call to let you know that Ah'll be out soon, tomorrow morning in fact, getting parole for good behaviour an' the first thing Ah'm gonna do when I get out is hold you in my arms again. I've missed your sexy body so much.'

I'm shaking now but, despite that, I'm still going to shout down the phone:

'Keep the hell away from me. I mean you come anywhere near me when you get out and I'll have you arrested for harassment.'

'That's a bit harsh isn't it, Mickey? What did I ever do to you?'

What did you ever do to me? Oh nothing except rape me you sick bastard but before I can voice my thoughts I hear a beep, like that of money running out, down the phone and Delaney has gone.

I instantly drop to the floor. Free. Delaney's going to free. By this time tomorrow Martin Delaney will be a free man hunting me down like some dog after a fox and then, when he finds me, doing God knows what. Oh God I'm so scared.