Title: Dependency
Author: Wolf Master Loki
Fandom: Scrubs
Pairing: JD/Cox
Rating: PG
Warnings: dark!JD, bad thoughts, JD POV
Summary: There's more to JD than anyone realized
Disclaimer: Don't own Scrubs
A/N: I really wanted to write something with a very dark JD. This idea came to me suddenly and so vivid that I had to write it. I wrote it at like four am. A sequel might be in order.
Quote: "If you ever were able to actually release all the tensions that were bottled up inside you. What would that look like? How would that go?" -Dr. Cox (1x16 My Heavy Meddle)

Dependency

They're very amusing. My friends, I mean. They don't really get me. Not that I can blame them. I've been like this for a very long time. No one has been on to me yet. Except that crazy Janitor. He knew the moment he laid eyes on me. It was kind of funny. A person that I've never met knew me better than Turk. Someone that has known me for over a decade.

What they don't get is this. It's all a lie. In fact, I'm a walking lie. Every expression on my face. Every word out of my mouth. Everything about me. It's smoke and mirrors and slight of hand.

I can't let them see me. That just wouldn't be any fun at all. The game would be over and no one would trust me. The trust is such a large part of what I do. It allows me to mold them into what they are now. They're puppets on strings with me as the puppet master.

A lot of it is also need. Dependency. They need me so much more than I need them. The trick is to not let them know that. In fact, I want them to think the opposite. And like good little boys and girls, they do.

Turk and Carla couldn't last more than week without me. Elliot is still hung up on me. Whether she'll admit it or not, I'm under her skin. It was pure genius when I got her to break up with her boyfriend. Honestly, I didn't think she'd actually believe my declarations of love enough to do it. I was justing trying to confuse her for a little fun. But I never pass up a prime opportunity. So I broke up with her at our friends' wedding reception. Through it all, I played the confused victim of my own insecurity. It was a truly powerful moment.

Power can be intoxicating. It's like a drug and I'm an addict. Controlling people brings the ultimate high. I can attest to that. I've been manipulating people for as long as I can remember. My goofy attitude and slight build makes me unassuming. People just don't expect someone like me to be anything but innocent. I've worked hard on that persona and it works.

I can't help but think of Dr. Cox. My Perry. Now he is my most exhilarating high. He's a project I've been working on for a long time. It's been worth every minute of effort. He thinks he has me pegged. That I'm his loyal lapdog just waiting to jump at his bidding. He has no idea.

Who's so weak that they need a jerk with a god complex to hover over their every move? Not me that's for sure. Perry is weak enough that he needs someone to hover over in the first place. His need is to feel needed. A perfect target for me. He's so fragile but I'm strong enough to protect him. To possess him.

Even I was shocked at how effectively I've made him need my presence. I made sure to test it by leaving him for a little while. To work under someone else. He didn't even last a day before coming back to me. Crawling back to beg me to return. In his own special way. He's so cute when he thinks that he's in control. It was invigorating. He thought he was doing me some kind of favor. Well in a way he was. Just not in the way he thought.

With that moment in mind, I sometimes wonder what would happen if I just left them all. Not completely. I'd want to stay behind to see their reactions. Just dropping out of sight for a while without explanation. Would they panic? Would they try and rationalize my disappearance? Or simply expect the worse? If they did expect the worse, would they cry? I would love to see that. Especially, from my Perry. I bet he's pretty when he cries.