Powerful Benders
Summary: A series of crack one-shots based around Aunt Wu's fortune. You'll laugh, you'll cry, but mostly you'll squirm. Katara/Everyone-And-Their-Uncle.

Rating: T, mainly for language.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. I'm also not really what you would call sane.

One
War's End

Just like that, the war was over. Thousands of soldiers returned to their wives and mothers. Omashu was freed, the Southern Water Tribe rebuilt; it was a happy time. Or it would have been if the whole damn thing hadn't been so incredibly anticlimactic. Oh, the last battle had started out interesting enough: two monumental armies met on the field, prepared to take no prisoners. This was the battle to end all battles. Before the day was out the rivers would run red. Every last person on that field was prepared to die.

And then, it happened. Ozai chanced to turn his head for a second and then he saw her in the opposing army. The Fire Lord had never seen anything more beautiful in his life. Only seconds remained before the battle would begin, and Ozai rode to the front as quickly as his komodo-horse allowed, crushing a few of his soldiers below the lizard's gallops. He would have been crushed underneath a boulder, save for the fact that then Azula would have seized control of the army and no one wanted that. Then, he asked for a truce. This took everyone by surprise, because it pretty much looked like he was going to win, what with Sozin's Comet and all. Perplexed, the other leaders humored him. Hours of deliberations and one annulment later the war was over and Katara was engaged. (Aang as the group's youngest member had been sent to go get them snacks before the final vote was taken.)

Katara almost killed Pakku when he informed her that she was to marry Ozai, but that only made him love her more. Zuko was outraged when he found out that his father wanted to replace his mother with another woman, not to mention the fact that the
Banished Prince was more than slightly attracted to Katara. But any protests that Zuko made were at once quelled when his father welcomed him back with open arms and promised to put Zuko back in line for the throne if he would teach him all the current cool lingo and how to impress this new generation of ladies.

Iroh too tried to intervene on Miss Katara's behalf, partially because he was jealous of all the time Zuko was now spending with his father. But Zuko, in no hurry to find himself exiled again reasoned with his Uncle by giving him an endless supply of emo glares.

Sokka, who had originally been the biggest opponent of his darling sister's marriage was swiftly won over to the Fire Lord's side when he realized that as a newly married man, the Fire Lord's many concubines would be up for grabs (this fact also played no small part in convincing Iroh).

So it came to happen that Katara lost all her allies, except of course for the young Avatar to the wiles and wealth of Fire Lord Ozai. Aang protested that he was the Avatar, and the fate of the world rested in his hands, and that therefore they should retake the vote, this time allowing him to actually, you know, cast a vote. What Aang hadn't realized was that his one vote wouldn't be enough to swing the election. Dejectedly, he confronted Katara with news of his failure, but he told her to never fear, for he had a plan: in the dead of night they would run away and elope. Thus confronted with those options, Katara reevaluated her situation and came to the conclusion that Ozai couldn't really be all that bad if he'd put all that effort into learning all that awful slang Zuko was teaching him (by the way, what the hell was an "Amdrag"?)

And so, everyone lived happily ever after, except of course for Aang, who crawled into a ditch with every intention of dying there, but found that the ditch was already occupied by Azula who had beaten him to the punch. And so Aang and Azula went to go get counseling together, and if they didn't exactly live happily ever after, it was close enough.

Author's Notes: Ok, so how lame is this? Tell me in your reviews.

Who should I do next? (NB: I will do neither Kataang nor Zutara...)