For all of my readers- I am sooo unbelievably sorry. Life...well, life has thrown me a few curveballs lately, to say the least... With the deaths of two friends (within 2 weeks of each other), 5 finals tests, joining NHS, and selling our house/moving, I've just...I've had a lot.

But 10 months is just too much, I know. And I'm sorry... Thank you to all of my loyal readers, for sticking with my stories through thick and thin. You don't know how much I appreciate that.

And thanks soo much to my amazing beta criminally charmed. She is just that: amazing. Thanks so much, CC.

--

Morning seemed to come more slowly than any of them would have liked. The night had been filled with unbearably long silences, and a morbid sense of darkness that seemed to reflect the feeling of each of them. Scott sat silently, his head titled back against the wall and his eyes glazed over listlessly letting his gaze wander back and forth, seeing nothing. John leaned slightly against Scott, his hands fidgeting idly in his lap, a stony expression mirroring their father's. Jeff sat across the hallway, looking as worn and haggard as his sons. But he was the only one with traces of tears in his eyes. Together they sat, waiting and worrying.

As the first pale line of dawn's light appeared in the hallway, Brains finally stepped out from behind the infirmary doors. He looked exhausted but had a satisfied smile on his face. Immediately, the Tracys were on their feet.

"W-Well", the frazzled scientist began, "they're b-b-both in good c-condition, though they'll b-be asleep for a wh-wh-while with all of the p-pain killers I gave them. V-V-Virgil needed a lot of s-stitches, but it was nothing t-t-too serious. And Alan…" he paused, fixing his glasses shakily as the others gave him weary looks. "A-Alan needed e-e-extensive surgery for his injuries, and w-we'll have to m-m-monitor him closely for any c-complications…But I-I'm confident both will m-m-make full recoveries. They'll j-just need time."

Nodding, Jeff asked unsurely, "So, can we see them, Brains?"

Brains smiled tiredly, stepping away from the door. "Of c-course, M-Mr. Tracy."

They didn't need to be told twice. Not hesitating for a moment, the three Tracy men rushed into the room, eager to see their injured family members. The white lights of the infirmary were far brighter than the gloomy dimness of the hallway, and it took a few moments for their vision to clear. However, they didn't stop for a moment, immediately recognizing the still figures of the younger Tracys.

"Wow, it sure is good to see you two again," Scott sighed as he watched his brothers' chests rise and fall. Quietly, he sat next to Alan, who seemed much paler than Virgil, and began to stroke his hair.

"Yeah," John said with a slight smile. "But I have to admit, you both look like shit…"

"John," Jeff warned lightly. He was going to say more, but was stopped by a gentle voice.

"I heard that."

"Virgil!" John said surprised, nearly jumping out of his skin. He and Jeff rushed to his side while Scott stood up from Alan's bed, all three of them becoming wide-eyed in surprise.

"But Brains said you'd be knocked out from the pain killers." John wondered, looking questioningly from Virgil to his father.

Virgil smiled tiredly, barely being able to turn his head to the side. "I've probably gotten a tolerance for painkillers from growing up with you guys."

For the first time since Alan's disappearance, Jeff couldn't help but smile. It felt good. Watching over Alan, Scott sat back down with a smile as well. Jeff couldn't help but feel a rush of relief mixed with anxiety. He knew it would be a long time until any of them were really healed. But he also knew they could get through it, together.

Perking up, John's eyes brightened with a sudden realization. "Hey, Gords doesn't know yet. Do you think I should go get him?"

Virgil frowned drowsily. "Where is he? Is he ok?"

"Dunno," Scott said quietly, looking from Jeff to John, silently asking if they knew what was wrong, though it was obvious neither knew. Looking back at Virgil he sighed, "He got upset and left a couple hours ago. We figured he needed some time to rest and calm down."

"Yeah, I'd better go get him. Be right back," John said, getting up.

"OK. Well, I'm going back to sleep. Tell the little ass to be here when I wake up," Virgil said jokingly. Jeff nearly scolded him but decided to let it slide. Yet even if he had, Virgil wouldn't have heard him. He was fast asleep before John even left the room.

As John walked down the hallway, he couldn't help but feel a sense of overwhelming shock over the events of the last 24 hours. After coming home for the first time since his brother's "funeral", he'd found out Alan was actually alive but had amnesia. Then Alan had been taken away again and controlled by their worst enemy. The drama had two of his younger brothers being badly hurt and having to watch as his other younger brother killed a man. It was bewildering, to say the least.

But at the same time, it was sobering in a way. When Alan "died"…John had thought he'd never be able to move on. Alan had always been a constant in their lives, and it had shattered the family when he was gone. But through some miracle, he'd made it back. The question was, would they get another such miracle next time? And for now, would Alan still have his memories when he woke up, or were they gone again? Would Alan be emotionally scarred and frightened for the rest of his life? John knew time would tell, but contrary to his star-gazing nature, he didn't want to have the patience to find out.

Finally reaching Gordon's room, John was surprised to find the door open, the room undisturbed and empty. After a moment, John got the idea to check Alan's room where he found Gordon.

Gordon's back was turned from the door as he sat on Alan's bed. The second youngest brother was unnaturally still, though he was shaking a bit as he stared out the window. John could see Gordon's shivering from the doorway, which didn't surprise him; the room was filled with the unmoving cold of morning air. When John knocked on the door, Gordon seemed not to notice.

"Gords?" John asked carefully, walking up to Gordon. He gasped in surprise when he saw the horribly haunted look in Gordon's eyes. "Gordon?" he asked again.

After a few moments of silence, Gordon opened his mouth as though to say something, though he slowly closed it again. John waited patiently, sitting next to Gordon as he sifted through his thoughts. "Is he…are they ok?" Gordon finally asked in a quiet, cracked voice.

"Yeah, they're both fine," John assured, but even he was having trouble believing the words as they left his mouth. "They're sleeping now." John tried to seem optimistic for his brother, but Gordon kept his distant gaze. Stuck in an uncomfortable silence, John added in slight amusement, "Oh, and Virgil says he expects you to get your ass down to the infirmary by the time he wakes up."

Gordon couldn't help but smile slightly, but John was disappointed when the grin faded back into his morose stare.

"Ok, Gords, what's wrong," John sighed, more of a firm statement than a question.

There was another long pause. Gordon frowned even further, thinking, then shuddered again. Closing his eyes, he finally sighed, "What if he blames me?" It was so quiet that John barely heard, though he did catch it.

"What? Why would Virgil-,"

"No," Gordon cut him off, frustrated, though he quickly calmed down once more and opened his eyes, which now had a trace of tears lining them. "What if…what if Alan blames me?" Giving one more hard stare out the window, he finally turned to look at his brother, his eyes begging him for the answer.

John was startled, to say the least, and also felt pity for his brother. For someone so young, he looked haggard, old, and broken. He wasn't even sure if Gordon had looked this worn at Alan's funeral.

Confused, John struggled, "Wha-…What do you mean? Why would- why would he blame you?"

Gordon lowered his gaze, though he didn't completely turn away. "He…I-I don't know."

John frowned. "Gordon, what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing, ok?" Gordon snapped, now fully turning away, as he rested his head in his hand, his elbow on his knee.

John's frown deepened, but he knew that he wouldn't do either of them any good to push farther. After another tense moment, John finally sighed, "Look, I'm sorry…Do you just want to go see them?"

Gordon hesitated, swallowing hard. Lifting his head, however, he nodded. John followed Gordon out, leaving the cold room behind.

--

Days passed, and though a cheerier mood had come to the island, there was still a sense of doubt and worry enshrouding its inhabitants. Virgil had woken up multiple times over the course of the passed days. But Alan remained asleep, still too weak to awaken yet. Luckily, there hadn't been any signs of complications, although Brains maintained that there was still a possibility. With that in mind they all began to take shifts on watching over their two bedridden family members.

Tonight was Gordon's turn. As he sat in the awkwardly in a small chair, he couldn't help but give out a large yawn. None of them had really gotten any real sleep lately, but for now the others were trying to get some rest. As he studied the nearby clock, watching as the hands read that it'd finally become 3 a.m., Gordon had a hard time keeping his eyes open. Virgil, now on milder pain killers, wasn't helping either- his snoring actually made Gordon sleepier.

However, a small sudden movement to his right caught his attention. It was so slight that he'd barely noticed, but luckily he had. Turning, he saw Alan's head tilt slightly to the side and his hand moving slightly. Excited, Gordon rushed to Alan's side; his exhaustion pushed aside as he grabbed Alan's hand.

"Alan?" Gordon asked eagerly. "Alan, are you awake? Come on Al, open your eyes…"

Alan grumbled. "Come on…five more minutes…"

Gordon couldn't help but smile. "No way, you gotta get up!"

Reluctantly, Alan managed to crack open his eyes. "Why?" he said tiredly. "And where am I?"