Tis A Small Universe

Spoilers- Farscape- S2
Stargate- S4
Disclaimer- I own neither Farscape nor Stargate. I make no money from these writings, and as such am still as poor as a church mouse.
xxx

Jack sniffed as the cell doors swung closed with a bang. "Now that's just plain rude."

Daniel shook his head. "I told you not insult the king. He's very sensitive about his nose."

"I didn't say anything!" Jack protested.

Sam raised an eyebrow at him. "Sir, you laughed."

"And pointed," Teal'c added.

"Still, life imprisonment is a bit harsh, don'tcha think?"

"The penalty for touching him is death." A strange voice emerged from a dark corner of the large cell. "Even if you save him from an assassination attempt."

Jack scowled. "Who's there?"

"The great and powerful Oz," the unidentified man replied. "Along with Dorothy, the not-so-cowardly lion and the slugman."

In the dim light Jack could just see Sam quickly reach down and pull something out of the bottom of her pants. A bright light filled the cell as she straightened.

Jack reared back, covering his eyes. "Carter, what the hell?"

The light was directed away from him.

"Sorry, sir," Sam apologized. "It's the mini flashlight Cassie gave me for my birthday. In case of an emergency, she said."

Teal'c tilted his head as he heard frantic whispering and strange clicking coming from the corner. Blocking out the conversation of his friends, he caught the words 'human' and 'Earth.'

Suddenly, the light swung around to fall on the group in the corner of the cell. A tall, muscular man clad in a black t-shirt and black leather pants shielded his eyes from the light. Next to him was a tall woman with long black hair and black leather pants and vest. She squinted up at them, her body tensed and ready to fight. Slumped to the woman was a large alien with an elongated, tattooed chin amidst his red braided beard. The alien was either asleep or unconscious, his chest rising and falling shallowly. Huddled in the corner was undoubtedly the creature the human male had called 'slugman.' The name was apt. The creature was small with webbed hands and feet and prominent eyebrows. It too appeared to be sleeping.

Sam gasped. "John? John Crichton? Is that really you?"

John slowly rose to his feet, pulling the woman up with him. "Hi, Sam."

Sam gaped at him. She hastily stumbled over to him, wanting to touch him. She had to be sure this was real. That he was real and alive and in here in this cell with her.

Sam stopped short as the woman beside John stepped in front of him, holding a small blade she pulled out of her vest. She clicked angrily at Sam.

"Sorry, Sam," John said without regret. "Aeryn's a bit protective. She thinks you might be a trick to get information out of us."

Sam held out her hands to show she had no weapons. "We lived next door to you for almost two years when we were kids before the Air Force moved my dad again. Your best friend is D.K. You were my friend even though I was a girl; you liked me because I wanted to be an astronaut just like you. We had a clubhouse and the password was 'Armstrong.' After my mother died I ran away from home and you hid me in your bedroom. You were a perfect gentleman and you snuck food to me for two days before your father found me and called my dad. You don't know that I knew you punched D.K. because he had a crush on me and was angry that you didn't tell him I was there. You cried on my shoulder when that woman broke it off. You insisted on packing a bag for the Farscape trial run and you included two pairs of boxer shorts because your mother always told you to pack extra clean underwear. You disappeared after the solar flare and we couldn't find you. We thought you were dead and- and-"

"And?" John asked softly.

Sam smiled sadly, her eyes glassy. "I missed you so much."

"Ah, Sam." John stepped out from behind Aeryn and pulled Sam into a hug. He slowly rocked her, resting his cheek against her head and murmuring in her ear.

Jack and Daniel shifted uncomfortably while Aeryn glared at the two with her arms crossed.

Finally, Sam pulled back, a large grin on her face.

John smiled down at her. "So, I'm guessing this the reason you didn't want to join the Farscape project officially."

Sam smiled back at him. "Yeah."

Jack coughed theatrically.

Sam stiffened and stepped away from John. "John, this is Colonel Jack O'Neill. Sir, this is John-"

"Crichton. I saw the news report. How'd you end up out here?"

John exhaled. "It's a long story."

Jack looked around the cell and smirked. "We've got the time."

xxxxx

"A naturally occurring wormhole? And you can sense them?"

John grinned. "Yep, might not be as fancy as that gate thing of yours but it works."

"Isn't that a bit dangerous?" Daniel asked. His nose wrinkled as he thought.

John shrugged. "It's not bad if you find a stable one. But this one just snuck up on us. Moya didn't have a chance to avoid it. I usually take the Farscape module out to study the wormholes, rather than risk everyone's safety."

"But it works?" Sam questioned eagerly. "All our calculations were correct?"

John nodded. "Yeah, even those strange ones we came up with that night in the bar."

Jack looked up from inspecting his boots. "Our?"

"Didn't I tell you?" Sam asked sheepishly. "Sir, I assisted John with his Farscape project."

"Assisted? Hell, Sam's the main reason she flew. Helped D.K. and me sort out some major bugs."

"So, she's the one we have to thank for having you out here." Aeryn smirked at him from her position slumped against the brick wall.

"Very funny," John scowled.

Daniel stared over at Aeryn in curiosity. "What did she say?"

"She was joking about Sam being to blame for her getting stuck with me."

"Who's joking?" Aeryn murmured.

Daniel jotted a few notes down in his ever present notebook using Sam's flashlight to light the page. "How do you understand what she's saying?"

"Translator microbes." John scratched the back of his head. "I was injected with them after arriving on Moya, they translate everything into English."

"Like the TARDIS," Teal'c commented.

The four humans stared at him. Teal'c calmly stared back.

"Doctor Felger recently introduced to me to Doctor Who. I find it amusing."

"Right," Jack drawled. "Remind me to talk to Felger when we get back."

"Very well, O'Neill."

"Thanks, big guy."

Daniel adjusted his glasses. "Did you think she'll- ah- let me ask her a few questions?"

"So all humans are inquisitive. I thought it was only Crichton." Aeryn sighed. "He will not understand me, but he may ask me questions, if he wishes. I cannot guarantee an answer."

"She doesn't mind." John lowered his voice. "But be careful, she's not really very happy at the moment."

Daniel studied Aeryn for a moment. "Thanks."

Daniel settled down next to Aeryn, his pen and notebook at the ready.

John watched as Aeryn impatiently clicked at Daniel.

Sam leaned forward. "So, what's the story with you and Aeryn?"

John looked over Sam's shoulder to where Jack and Teal'c were leaning against the opposite wall.

"What's the story with you and Colonel O'Neill?"

Sam stiffened.

John nodded. "About the same then."

Sam cleared her throat. "How long to you think your friend will be out for?"

"D'Argo? A few more hours. He drank almost an entire barrel of that scrumble. It's 100 per cent proof. Rygel should be awake soon though."

Sam nodded. She silently scuffed her boot against the ground.

"D.K. got married recently."

John raised his eyebrows. "Really?"

"He invited me to the wedding but we were memory stamped at the time and I missed it. D.K. wasn't happy."

"I can imagine."

"He's changed," Sam said sadly.

John looked up, his eyes hard. "We all have."

Sam looked John over, her eyes lingering on John's empty holsters. "Yes, we have."

xxxxx

"I'm hungry. When's dinner?" Rygel huffed irritably.

"They're planning on executing us tomorrow, Sparky, and I don't think these are a last meal kind of people."

"Don't they know who I am?" Rygel demanded. "They can't treat a Dominar in this manner!"

"Oh, for yotz sake, Rygel. They don't care and neither do we, so shut your mouth before I staple it closed," Aeryn snapped.

Rygel sniffed. "Well, if you're going to be like that. Perhaps our fellow cell mates have some food they would like to gift in exchange for Imperial gratitude?"

"No," John said flatly. "Even if they had food, they wouldn't give it to you."

"I don't suppose you had a candy bar stashed along side that flashlight, did you, Carter?" Jack asked hopefully.

Sam shook her head. "Sorry, sir. I only have the flashlight and the stiletto that is still in my boot."

"You've got a stiletto knife in your boot?" John asked incredulously.

"We get locked up a lot," Sam defended. "And you never know when a knife is going to come in handy. Daniel got trapped in a cave once and I managed to disable the system using only a knife."

"System?"

Daniel shrugged. "The rock is programmed to grow over the entrance once a person enters."

"In a cave?"

"It's very advanced technology," Daniel said calmly.

"And that's the least of what's happened to Daniel," Jack piped up. "He's been killed, turned into a caveman, lived on another planet for a year with his native bride-"

Daniel glared at Jack.

"I was trapped on this planet once, D'Argo and Rygel came after me and they thought Sparky was a god."

"Yeah, I hate it when that happens," Jack said casually.

Rygel smirked. "I miss that planet."

"Rygel, they were going to kill you."

"But at least I never went hungry."

"Perhaps we should have left you there than."

Collectively, the prisoners turned to stare at D'Argo. He was now propped up against the wall, one hand held to his head.

"D'Argo, you're awake!"

D'Argo groaned. "Oh, but I wish I weren't. Chiana is going to kill me."

John laughed. "Nah, she'll be too glad you're alive."

John hurried over and held out to help D'Argo to his feet. "Can you walk?"

D'Argo gingerly got to his feet. "I believe so."

John grinned. "He' ready to go."

Jack rubbed his hands together. "Great, let's blow this popsicle stand."

xxx

end