"self inflicted gunshot" the words rang in jack kelly's ears. it couldn't
be true, his sister was not dead. and yet she was, the bulls had said so.
"found in alley, so sorry, nothing we could do" bits of a previous
conversation ran through his mind "taken to hospital, dead on arrrival,
dead, dead, dead" the crying, the pain, the agony all around him. how could
a person live with such pain? now three days after being told his one and
only sibling was dead, he stood watching her casket being placed gently in
the ground, covered with dirt. it was all so final, so unreal. his friends
all around him in a sobered mass helped him back to the lodging house, in
turn helping themselves.
three days and nothing but pain. and then anger, anger at his sister who
just left, who was in the end too weak to even attempt to get help, anger at
the man who did it to her, and anger at himself for not stopping it.
they arrived at the newsies lodging house, and climbed the stairs slowly, no
one knew what to say, or what to do, it was quiet, never had any of them
experienced such a feeling. up the stairs and onto there bunks, no games
were started, no stories told, nothing but the emptyness sunshine left
behind. they went to bed, but jack lay on his bunk, above where his sister
should have been and cried, pounding his fist into his pillow "how dare ya
sunshine" he mentally scream "how dare you leave me like this" and finally
fell into a tourmented sleep.
the next day he didn't sell, but instead sat and watched Kloppman pack
sunshines things into a box to be sealed, and never looked at again. the old
man was crying, jack had never seen him cry. they didn't speak but simply
cried together. It was then that a discovery was made, a discovey that
changed jack kelly's life forever. it was sunshines journel, jack picked it
up delicatly as though it might break, a letter flutterd onto his bed from
inside "it's dated months ago" jack muttered looking down, and began to
read.
guys:
i hope you never get this letter because if you do then it means
the darkness really won. i'm writing this to you now, a week after my
attack because already the depression is so great i can barely think. i
hope you all can forgive me, for not being able to trust you anymore and not
asking for help. i do beleive i am beyond help, and because of that i am
sorry. i love you all, or at least i know i did at one point in time, but
right now, i can't trust anyone in this world, knowing that some one would
do this to a person. what happened to me is not nearly as bad as what that
man did to the baby, that kind of cruelty let me know that all my dreams of
yester year really were stupid, and that this world will never be a happy
place. my innocence is gone, forever. innocence isn't something you can get
back. Anyway i really just wanted to let you know that i am so very very
sorry, i hope one day you'll forgive me. i know you raised me to be strong,
but this time the the opposing force was too great
love,
sunshine kelly
he folded the letter, and looked at her journel fingering the cover. he
opened it flipping through the pages. towards the back where the pages were
covered in holes where her pen had torn through the page in her rage. his
tears started to fall more slowly and he began to forgive his sister.
that night he read sunshine's letter outloud to the newsies, including spot
who was staying at the manhatten lodging house for a few days.
"poor sunshine" mush said sadly
"yeah ta feel all dat pain, all alone" race said "it musta been awful"
"but now were da ones wid da pain" spot said speaking up from the courner
bunk where he'd situated himself "she didn't think of dat"
"i think she did" jack said "i think she really was sorry" he'd said it,
was, sunshine was in the past now, only to be remembered. "lets remember her
how she usta be" jack said
the newsies nodded their heads, but the pain was still there.
jack stayed up late into the night reading sunshine's journal. it started
out so nicely, telling of her days and her dreams, telling stuff he never
knew. like her crush on mush, and her disire to be a missionary. stuff
that he as her brother should have known. and then the darkness came,
sweeping over her entries like night takes over day. the entries after her
attack got worse, till they were morbid, stomach turning passages that made
him sick to his stomach. he could feel her pain, and it cut him deeply. it
was around 4 in the morning when he finished. her last entry before she
killed herself, though was what caused jack to reach his decision.
"i only hope other people never has to feel this way, cause it is the worst
way to feel"
he knew what he had to do, he jack kelly would save all the people like
sunshine, so no other brother had to ever feel the pain he was feeling.
*********************************************************************
that night jack didn't sleep, instead he took sunshine's journel and went up
to the roof to watch the sunrise. he re-opened the book, the last few pages
were blank, not to ever be filled. as he went to close the book, a picture
fell out of the back, it was of him and sunshine on the brooklyn bridge,
taken by Denton three months after he broke her out of the orphanage. he
remembered the day so vividly.
"sunshine don't give that to him, you need it for your rent at the lodging
house" fourteen year old sunshine would not be stopped though and gave her
nickle to the younger boy in ragged clothes. "he needs it more then me
jack" she said "common lets go see spot" they'd headed out meeting up with
denton by the bridge, "take our picture denton" she said "yeah just us two
kelly's" jack had said smiling at his sister. "ok guys smile" the flash of
the camera was intense, forever immortilizing them.
"jack?" Blink shook his shoulder "jack, you ok?" jack looked up startled
out of his day dream. "you sellin' today?" blink asked
"no" jack replied "i've got somewhere to go" "jack you ain't gonna do
somethin' stupid are ya?" "no, i'm finally gonna do somethin' smart" he
said sticking the picture back in the book, and walked to the fire escape,
climbing down and walking towards a tall brick building.
hours later he walked back into the lodging house. the look on the newsies
faces were filled with releif "guys, i ain't gonnna kill myself" he said
"infact, i'm doin' what sunshine should of done...i'm bein strong, and i'm
gonna make something good come of this" the newsies looked doubtful but
listened anyway "so what are ya gonna do jacky boy?" spot asked "i'm goin'
ta school, ta be come a pyhcologist, and when i'm done i'se gonna open an
office for da mentaly hoit people, people like sunshine" he announced.
"it's a nice idea jack, but where ya gonna get da money for all dat?" race
asked. "i went ta the college taday, they said i can take night classes, so
i'se can still work, and there givin me something called a student loan" he
explained. "on the salary of a newsie you'se gonna put yerself through
school?" spot asked doubtfully. "no, i'se...i'se gotta leave you guys" he
said "i've got a job at the law firm, now as a gopher but still making a lot
more den now" "your leaving?" mush asked looking hurt. "yeah, i'll be
selling on da weekends ta make some extra money though...please don't be
mad, it's all for sunhine" he said "i need to do something and this just
seems...right"
"den i'm glad you'se doin it" spot said "sunshine would be proud"
the newsies bagan to drift away, but mush stayed still. "don't be mad at me
mush" he begged "please it would kill sunshine if she knew you were mad at
me, she cared the world for you" he looked up "what are you talkin bout
jack?" he asked "look, read this" he said opening sunshines journal to one
of the first pages,
"mush and i walked to brooklyn together today, i really like him jounal,
he's so funny and sweet, not to mention cute. i know he'd never feel the
same way towards me, thats why we have to keep this a secret between me and
you, journal. and then maybe one day he'll like me too and we'll be
together, although jack would probably kill him for even looking in my
direction..."
"I'se, I'se don't beleive this jack" he said. jack flipped the page, and
the page after, they all had his name on them. "i think she loved you" jack
said mush looked down trying not to cry, then looked at jack, a single tear
rolling down his face "i loved her too"
The next night jack started school, accompined by mush who after reading
sunshines journal, said that he wanted to help too. day after day they
worked then went to school, then went back to the lodging house (where
kloppman was letting them stay) to catch a few hours of sleep. A year
later, jack was promoted to a higher assistant spot in the firm, and mush
was making good money at the Sun, working as a photographer. they both were
doing well in school, but missed the newsies, whom they hardly ever saw. by
the time they got in from school the bunks were quiet, kloppman asleep. "i
miss them jack" mush said one day in between classes. "me too" jack agreed
"whata say we go meet them at tibby's for lunch stead of selling our papes"
mush grinned, selling papers instead of eating on their lunch hour was
getting old "yeah"
they walked into tibby's run over by memeories. race was waving his arms
excitidly as he talked at the top of his lungs about the race he'd finally
bet correctly on. "heya bums, get back to work" jack said. "jack!" Les
yelled. the boys were quickly surrounded grinning ear to ear. "what are ya
tryin ta do get your old job back?" blink asked referring to his position
as leader "cause i'se ain't ready to give it up, i'm sill trying to shape
these here boys into honorable newsies" "jaaaaack" race whinned "he makes
us go ta bed at 11:00, at the latest" "yeah and when he wakes us up he's
worse then kloppman" Itey threw in. jack started laughing, "blink what are
ya doin' ta me boys? tryin ta toin dem inta pansies" he loved using his
old new york acent, instead of the one he used for work and school. "lets
eat" mush said breaking off the conversation he was having with pie eater
and specs. they sat, and talked, renewing their friendships.
when there hour was up, they looked at each other. "well i guess we'll see
you tomorrow" jack said. mush grinned, and the newsies cheered. "good
jacky boy cause all work and no play makes a dull cowboy" spot said from the
door. "heya spot" jack said shaking spot's hand. "long time no see, jacky
boy, ise was beginin' ta think you'd gotten lost in da library or somethin'"
"neah spot, just trying ta make as much money as possible" he said,
walking out the door, mush and spot following "been busy ya know, me an mush
here are tryin ta make a livin" "yeah i understan" he said "look jacky once
you get dis place up and runnin, you think you can give me a job?" he asked
"yeah sure spot, but you'se gonna have ta have some trainin, we only want
professionals" spot nodded. "i'se gotta get back ta brooklyn, i'll see you
guys later" mush and jack waved, watching him sauter off, with his "i'm the
ruler of brooklyn, no one messes with me" swagger.
**********************************************************************
the years past, and at age 21, and 20 Derek "mush" myers, and francis
"cowboy" sullivan graduated from the new york university. together they
opened a small clinic in a nice neighbor hood. they had three phycologists
plus themsleves and spot who was in his second year of school. the day
before they opened the had been newsies got together.
over the years they had stopped selling and gotten real jobs, race was proud
to say, that he was the assistant manager at sheepshead races,
blink had gotten married to a girl named Kelli, who happened to be the
mayors neice, and that was good enough for him.
they stood in the freshly painted office, drinking sasperilla and eating
cake, celebrating the start of a new life.
"hey jack?" specs asked "whats this?" jack followed his gaze, next to his
diploma was a framed page, "a passage from sunshine's journal" he said.
"one day i want to be my old self, one day i want
to get off these drugs, and get back to jack, and the
newsies, and one day i want to be independent, but if my mind
does not allow me to do so, then give me the courage to ask for
help"
jack looked down at his glass. four years and the pain still ate away at
his heart...four years and he still wasn't over the pain of losing his only
sister. mush came over and put his hand on jack's shoulder, four years, and
they were the best of friends, four years, and they had brought themselves
so far. jack looked up "i miss her, and this..." he said "is for her"
the next day "sunshine's-a clinic for the depressed" opened.
they got one client, a 17 year old girl..who had been raped, and left to
die. Sunshine's dead eyes, were this girls dead eyes, but she wasn't beyond
help, jack knew that, no one was beyond help. he sat there and listened,
listened to her pour out her feelings, all angry and hurt, scared, and
upset. so this was how she felt, this is what she was going through,
sunshines journal stood open on a stand on his desk, he looked at it after
the girl left, and knew he was doing the right thing. the next day brought
more people. all of them in need of help, and jack and mush knew deep down
they were helping.
grace, their first client came back a week later for her next appointment,
her eyes, not quiet as dull, her speech not so angry. the pain still there,
but not so dominate. "how are you doing grace?"
jack asked "better" she said looking at him "what you said last week, about
how i had to forgive, about how hate in my heart will consume me too...i
thought about that, and i forgive that man jack, i forgive my parents, and
i forgive myself, and your right, i do feel better."
jack smiled softly "thats great grace"
weeks passed, then months, the clinic was successful, they were making
money, and were paying off their loanes. one day after the clinic closed
for the day, jack sat in his office, doing the books. he looked up startled
by a knock at the door "come in" he said
a man and a women entered, well dressed, and looking very happy. "can i
help you?" he asked "jack?" the man said stepping foward "it's me marques"
jack looked confuesed " i worked with emily" he explained "o..oh" jack said
standing up. "this is my wife rhonda, we came to thank emily for her advice
all those years ago, if it weren't for her we never would have gotten
married..." sunshine had written of that night in her journal, her last
night as being sunshine...instead of the person she became, the person she
died as. "someone told me that the kelly's were here now.." marques
continued "so is emily around?"
jack stood staring at them, it never got any easier telling people
"i'm really sorry to tell you this...but, sunshine....emily, died, a few
years ago" he said swallowing heavily
"no..."marques said "what happened did she get sick? this can't be true"
"it was self inflicted" he said softly, it made her sound cold, like she
didn't care about the world, thats not how she was, not till the end.
"i don't get it" marques said "she was so happy, so alive...she was my
friend"
"the night you left..." jack began "she was raped in an alley trying to save
a baby, the baby was killed, and emily couldn't take it...she needed
help...she just couldn't take it' he said shaking his head sadly
"oh jack" marques said "thats terrible" he gripped rohnda's hand "i'm so
sorry"
jack nodded "this place..it's for her isn't it?" marques asked "yes, it's
for sunshine" jack said
"we want to help" to rhonda said "i never knew emily, but marques talked
about her everyday, and how one day we had to come back to New York and see
her, let us make a donation"
"thats not neccessary.." jack began
"please jack...let us, for emily, for everyone else you guys help"
he took out his checkbook, and wrote a check, ripping it out of the book and
handing it to jack. $1,000.
"this is too much" jack said "take it" marques said "please"
jack folded the check putting it in his pocket "thank you" he said shaking
marques's hand "thank you so much"
"good bye jack" he said "take care...it's a wonderful thing your doing, i
know emily's proud" and they left.
jack sat back down staring at amazemenet at the check. now they could hire
more employees, and add more rooms, pay off the rest of their debts and
further help the people "amazing" jack muttered. he didn't know how marques
and Rhonda had made it big, and at this point in time he didn't care. he
turned off the light, leaving the books till the next day and ran quickly to
his and mush's apartment.
he burst though the door "jack whats wrong?" mush asked "nothing" he said
gasping for breath "one of sunshine's friends came back to see her, when i
told them what happened they donated money mush-a lot of money" "how much
money?" mush asked "a thousand dollars" jack said waving the check in his
face. "you know what this means?" he asked "yeah" mush said "the clinic
willl be better then ever" jack smiled nodding. "nothing can stop us now
mush...nothing"
The night was late, Jack was sound asleep in his bed. It had been three
months since the day the money came. The clinic was better then ever, and
Jack was happy.
a ringing of the phone awoke Jack from his sleep.
"Hello?" he asked groggily.
"Jack get down to the clinic now!!!!" Spot yelled.
"Whats wrong spot?" Jack asked still half asleep.
"Jack it's on fire get down here now!" spot said
Jack bolted up in bed "no" he whispered to himself dropping the phone and
pulling on the first set of clothes he came in contact with.
"MUSH!!" he screamed.
"Wha?" Mush asked "get up and get down to the clinic, it's on fire" he
yelled and ran down the stairs and out the door.
The scene that greeted Jack wasn't a pretty one, already half the building
has been tourched as the fire fighters fought to tame the flames. Jack
watched in horror as part of the roof caved in, and the fire spread even
farther into the building.
It was the longest night of his life, Mush had arrived a few minutes after
jack and together they stood next to Spot silently watching there dreams
burn to the ground.
Around 5 a.m. the flames subsided just as the sun was rising. The building
was still standing but the inside was burnt to a crisp.
"you can go inside tomorrow once the fumes die down and see what survied..."
The fire chief said looking the boys over with sympathetic eyes. jack
nodded mutely.
"we still haven't found the cause of the fire" he continued "but we do
believe there may have been some foul play...do you know of anyone that
would do his?" he asked.
Jack shook his head, as did spot and Mush.
The man nodded briskly and with one last sympathetic glance left the boys
alone to stare at the ruins.
Jack stepped through the rumble carefully, everything was just a pile of
ashes. The walls were stained black from the smoke, the chairs and desks
covered in inches of soot, too burnt to be of any use anyway, the papers and
documents, were all gone. jack opened the door to his office slowely the
door creaking on it's melted hinges. "oh crap" he whispered everything was
gone, his diplomas were no more. He looked around the room, something
sticking up from the pile of ash that surrounded his desk caught his
attention. he walked over to it, gingerly picking up a book, the pages were
all burnt on the sides but the writing was still legiable, it was Sunshine's
journal.
Jack stared at in disbelief.
"Hey jack did you find anything?" Mush asked sticking his head in the door
"ohhh damn" he muttered then saw Jack standing there. "is that what i think
it is?" he asked unwilling to get his hopes up. Jack nodded, and looked at
Mush who stood in shock.
Jack closed the book and carried it carefully out of the room and back into
the sun, followed by mush and Spot.
Sterlings evil laughter was carried in the wind over to the boys.
Jack turned around seeing the disgusting man who had over the years become
even more disgusting. Jack knew him anywhere, the way sunshine had
described him in her journal wouldn't let anyone who read it forget.
"You" Jack said, "you did this didn't you?"
"yeah just like i did your sister" he sneered.
Jack's mind went blank as he went after Sterling. spot and mush hurried
over and restrained him
"You killed my sister" he said in a mencing whisper.
"your sister ruined me, she deserved to die" Sterling said "she got me put
in jail that damn whore, thats all she was a hoe and a druggie"
Jack's eyes flared angrily "no" he said "thats a lie, she became what you
made her, you did it, and now she's gone" Jack accused fighting to get away
from Spot and Mush so he could give this guy what he deserved.
"Jack stop your better then this" Mush said
Jack stopped thats what sunshine had always said when he was about to soak
someone. Jack stepped back "thats right, i'm better then this, i'm better
then you, and your damn fire wont stop us" he said
"Harry and Blaze already got theres for turning me in" Sterling threatened
"you'll get yours too" he screamed. and then ran in the other direction.
Jack stood there shaking, "lets go home" Jack said. Mush nodded, and Spot
said good bye heading for his own apartment.
Late that night Sterling was found dead, four bullets through his head a
drug deal gone bad.
Jack stared at the newspaper. "No need to worry about him now" he said
distractidly.
Mush walked through the living room, "yeah good to know huh?" he asked
slapping jack lightly on the back and handing him his coat "common lets go
we have a buisness to rebuild"
Jack grinned, shutting off the light and closing the door behind him.
******************************EPILOUGE********************************
sunshine's a Clinic for the depressed reopened a few months after the fire.
it remained successful generations after the death of Jack, Spot and Mush.
Jack Married a factory worker named Jess.
and mush who swore never to marry met a girl that eased his pain and brought
love back into his life. he married Nina at the age of 26.
