You and Only You

He loved her, but he didn't deserve her. She could do so much better than him, and he knew it.

And so, for her sake, he lied to her.

Told her he'd reevaluated their relationship (if one could call it that) and decided that he was too old for her, that she was too young for him, that he'd tired of her, that all the gossip and disdain they would have to endure if they were caught wasn't worth it anymore.

She only looked at him, a strange expression in her eyes, wondering why he wouldn't meet her gaze. She laughed it off, not seeming to take him seriously and teasing that he'd more than make up for it later. But the seed of doubt, however unwanted, had been planted.

He realized he'd have to resort to much more obvious methods to truly convince her.

That night, right before he knew she'd show up at the bar, he started flirting with one of the waitresses. He hadn't done that, with a waitress or any other woman for that matter, in a very long time. Not since she came into his life.

She walked in to see him leaning to kiss another woman's neck, his hand wrapped around her waist, her hand fisted in his hair, bodies intimately close.

Their eyes met and her heart clenched and tears threatened to overflow, but she didn't make a sound as she slowly turned back around.

His body strained to resist the urge to jump up and follow her, to apologize and beg her to forgive him. He wanted so badly to do that.

But he didn't, reminding himself that he didn't have the right. However, when the waitress suggested that they move to a back room, he pushed her away, disgusted, and stalked out of the bar.

After reaching his apartment, he headed straight to the shower, determined to rid himself of that woman's sickening touch and heavy perfume. He stood under the constant spray long after the water had turned cold.

After drying off and slipping on a pair of pants, he sank onto his cold, lonely bed, and instantly his thoughts were consumed by her. Again. Her sweet, sweet smell lingered on his pillow and reminded him of nights that had been filled with sweat and heat, kisses and caresses, moans and sighs, lust and desire. Nights when he had held her close, burying his face in her hair, breathing in his own personal drug.

He told himself that he could do this, that he could let her go. That he wouldn't miss her and wouldn't regret doing this to her. That he was strong enough to let her be with another man. A better, worthier man.

Suddenly he sensed a familiar presence standing outside his bedroom. Sitting up, he could see her outline clearly in the doorway. He made to get up, but she stopped him with a single word.

"Why?"

That syllable encompassed so many feelings. Pain, confusion, betrayal, anger...but underneath it all, there was some emotion he couldn't define.

"I'm not worthy of you," he started, rubbing a hand over his face. "Why would you want to shackle yourself to me? I'm old and getting older every second. You're still young and fresh and beautiful. You could have someone so much better than me. You deserve someone better than me." He stared hard at the floor.

She was crying, but she was laughing, too. "You silly, silly man. Don't you know?" Walking over to him, she lifted his head. "I love you."

I love you.

Until now, she'd never said the words. During their time together, he had been the only one to confess his feelings. He stared at her, speechless. She loved him.

"I know I never told you, but I thought that you knew. That you could see. I love you, Kakashi." She kissed him lightly on his forehead. "You and only you. I don't care if I could have anyone else. I don't want anyone else. I want you."

He brought his hands up to cover both of hers, taking her fingers and bringing them to his lips. "Sakura," he breathed. "How did you know?"

"That it wasn't real? Well, you were very convincing. Almost too convincing," she scowled, moving to sit in his lap. "But you know what, Kakashi? That eye of yours can't hide anything. You knew it, too, so you didn't look at me this morning. But at the bar...I only realized it after I'd left and gotten over the initial shock."

"I suppose some part of me knew that I wasn't going to be able to let you go." His arms wrapped around her, and he breathed her in. "And I never will."