A/N: Another humor fic! Hope you'll like it!
Disclaimer: Not mine.
WARNING: CURSING AND BULLYING FROM MISS LACUS CLYNE AND MEN DRESSED IN DRESSES OR SKIRTS. AND ALSO, BIG GIANT HUMAN EATING WORM MAKES AN APPEARANCE.
"Never Follow These Two Couples"
"It's the last day of classes, Athrun!" Kira yelled at his best friend. He was wearing a formal attire that he even hated, but as long as everyone else wore it, he wouldn't be the only one ridiculed.
"But, Kira!" Athrun gasped "I can't do it! Especially now!"
"And, please, kindly tell me why?!"
"Because of this!" Athrun pointed at himself and Kira fully understood why. "I can't go up to here saying the things I feel looking like this! I look stupid!"
"Yes, yes, you do" Kira nodded. "But then, everyone else looks stupid! Well… Everyone except Lacus. She's got a way with dresses… Even if they are the most ridiculous of dresses…"
"Alright, everyone except Lacus, my ass!" Athrun replied, then heard someone flush the toilet. Yes, they were both in the men's comfort rooms hiding from the other stupidly dressed people "She's got a way with dresses too!"
"Right…" Kira replied sarcastically "Anyway, it's the last day of school! And you have to do it! Or else all my hard counseling were for nothing! I spent this whole school year—no, my entire life helping you out and you're chickening out! For the first time, Zala, you're chickening out!"
"Will you even face Lacus dressed like a dead man?!"
"Hell no!" Kira cleared his throat as an embarrassed blush crept to his cheeks "But… I have to… In fact, we have to show ourselves in front of the school"
"I know that, but I honestly can't do it in this attire!" Athrun stomped his foot in irritation, why on earth did Saintly Principal Badgiruel come up with something stupid like this! "I'd choke! I can't even breathe properly in this stupid thing! God, everyone in this school looks stupid—except for Lacus and her, of course"
"Of course" Kira nodded in agreement. "But then, Athrun, many guys did this before! And it was a positive!"
"Yeah, right" Athrun replied sarcastically as he leaned on the tiled wall "You know what century it is, Kira? The 21st! There's no way girls would fall for it because it's stupid!"
"But, Athrun!" Kira was finally reduced to whining "It's the last day of freakin' school! If you won't do it—"
"There's still next year and summer" Athrun replied quickly.
"Athrun, I'm begging you!" Kira pleaded as he knelt before Athrun "Do it now! Do it today!"
"Beggars can't be choosers" Athrun sighed then looked at his pathetic friend "I mean, Kira, would you tell Lacus how you feel for her in that?"
"Who would be dumb to do that?!" Kira snorted.
"See!" Athrun pointed at him accusingly "Not even a pathetic crybaby would do it!"
"Who're you calling a crybaby?!" Kira frowned at his best friend.
"Kira, admit it! You cry a lot! Too much, in fact! Luckily, Lacus think that's cute or else you would flood the world with your tears"
"You're mean! After sixteen years of helping you! Athrun Zala, you worthless creature! I can't believe you were the first person I saw when my big purple eyes opened in the hospital's nursery! I can't even believe that even if we were only days old, I already helped you to be noticed by the girl sleeping a crib away from me!"
"Kira, we couldn't communicate were only days old!"
"It was called baby talk! Have you seen Rugrats?"
"Yes, everyone is forced to watch it because of our Saintly Principal" Athrun hissed.
"See! We were doing freakin' baby talk! Athrun, ever since we were days old you have been crushing on my darling sister! You were even holding on to the bed sheets when the nurse was about to take you away for you to go home with your parents!"
"It was puppy love!"
"It was obsession! I can't even believe we were neighbors! God Almighty, why am I forced to be his slave?"
"Kira, I would do it now if I wasn't wearing—"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"—crap!" Cagalli exclaimed as she looked at herself in the mirror. "Lacus, I tell you this freakin' dress is crap!"
"Cagalli, you've got to face him! Tell him first if he won't say it first!" Lacus told her best friend as she sat on the fluffy pink seat on the wall. Exclusive for the girls room only.
"Lacus, what kind of girl on earth would do the first move?!" Cagalli faced her pink haired friend.
"Well…"
"See! No one!"
"But, Cagalli, it's the last day of school! You have to do it, or else the sixteen years of my life would be put to waste!"
"Lacus, I would do it right now if I wasn't wearing crap!"
"Cagalli, this is the first time you backed out! And it's the last day! You can't back out!"
"I am! Lacus, would you even face Kira dressed like… Well, of course you would! You look good in dresses!"
"But, you also look good in dresses! And if he truly loves you, he wouldn't mind what you're wearing!"
"What if he doesn't, Lacus?! I'll just be a fool! I tell him my feelings and in the end he doesn't like me back! I'd look like a fool!"
"Cagalli, please, let me tell you something" Lacus said seriously and indicated Cagalli to sit across her. Cagalli sat on a fluffy seat across Lacus and Lacus cleared her throat. "Cagalli, ever since I woke up in the hospital's nursery, you've been my friend. And ever since that fateful day that I opened my big blue eyes, you were already begging to help! You wanted to be noticed by the baby only a crib away from me!"
"Lacus, we were babies! How did we communicate?!"
"It's baby talk, I tell you! Baby talk! Now, I don't want sixteen years being put to waste. I can't believe Cupid fired his stupid arrows at you when you opened your big golden eyes! I swear when I die and meet Cupid, I will strangle him if he ever thought that it was a perfect joke! You were just a few days old! A few days!"
"It's puppy love!"
"It's obsession! And I will also strangle the fates for making us neighbors! Every summer, every minute, every single second, I was there to help. And now when the time is perfectly perfect, you back out! Cagalli!"
"Lacus, I swear I would do this if I was just not wearing this crap! I can't even believe our Saintly Principal—wait, I do believe that our Saintly Principal thought of this! She's only trying to—"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"—torment us!" Athrun exclaimed at his pacing friend. "Principal Natarle just wants to see us suffer!"
"And I am suffering from you not doing anything when the timing is perfect! Go to—"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"—him right now, Cagalli!" Lacus told her stubborn friend. "I've already said that the timing is perfect!"
"Lacus…" Cagalli began.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Kira…" Athrun began.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"NO WAY!"
And at the same time, Lacus and Kira sighed together without realizing they sighed together and that they had the same problem on their hands.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
The following day, Athrun woke up because of a loud honking from a car. He grumpily got up from bed and went to his window, muttering a string of heavy curses as he did. He yanked his curtains away and was about to yell when he saw the most horrible thing happening in his entire life.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Cagalli woke up that very same morning because of a loud honking of a car. So, basically, she got up because of the same reason why Athrun did too. She also went to the window grumpily, she was going to yell at the person causing a racket so early in the morning. But when she looked out her window, she saw the most horrible thing in her life.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"NO!!!" Both of the teens looking out their windows yelled at th same time without even realizing it. "KIRA/LACUS!!!"
The two teens raced down the stairs in their sleeping clothes, attempting to stop their fleeing friends from… fleeing! They even got out of the door at the same time and raced to the silver car where Lacus and Kira were.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Kira, drive!!!" Lacus yelled as Cagalli got nearer.
"I know! I know!" Kira replied as he saw Athrun get nearer to his car "Hold on!"
"Drive! Drive! DRIVE!!!" Lacus exclaimed as her eyes grew wide in fear. "DRIVE DAMMIT!!!"
Kira stopped what he was doing and stared at Lacus. "Lacus, you just—"
"JUST DRIVE, IDIOT!!!" Lacus yelled so un-Lacus-like.
"Right! Right!" Kira nodded and went back to what he was doing.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Just when Athrun and Cagalli were in arms reach of the silver car, Kira stepped on the gas and drove away like a madman being chased by a giant human eating worm.
"COME BACK HERE!!!" The two left behind teenagers yelled at the silver car zipping away from the street. "I THOUGHT WE WERE BEST FRIENDS!!!"
"Cagalli/Athrun?!" Finally, the pair noticed each other. But instead of going into let's-back-bite-and-curse-our-so-called-best-friends scene, their faces turned red from what they saw and what they are experiencing.
Cagalli was on in her old gigantic t-shirt that had Barney the Dinosaur's face printed on it and of course, underneath was her underwear and nothing else! Embarrassing? Hell, ya! Athrun, opposite to Cagalli, was only wearing his shorts, no shirt. Both their hairs were unruly, and did I mention, they were outside on the street standing like complete buffoons?
"Excuse me" They both said at the same time then marched back to their houses. They closed their door with a bang and yelled profanities at the same time.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
An hour later, Cagalli was dressed and ready as ever if ever Athrun Zala would knock on her door and laugh at her. Yup, she was ready. There were ear plugs in her pockets and she prepared some mint candy just incase she'd be yelling at him or something.
Cagalli walked in the kitchen, expecting her darling Mother to be cooking breakfast and her Father watching TV in the living room. But today, she didn't smell that rich aroma or hear the annoying TV. In fact, she didn't find her Mother in front of the stove or her Father sitting his butt on the couch.
"Mom? Dad?" She called in a loud quivering voice. She wasn't scared being alone, no, she was scared that she'd have to fend off for herself for a few days. And the Heaven's know she's burn her house down if she touched the stove. "Mommy! Daddy!"
She checked their rooms, the basement, the attic, everywhere in the house! But no, she found not a single person. In stead, she found a note in the living room. Three notes. One from her darling brother, another from her best friend, and the last one from her parents. She picked Kira's first which read:
Sis, I'll be going to this cool thing for about two months. Sorry I left so early, I just couldn't contain the excitement! –Kira
P.S. Have a great summer!
She frowned "Great summer my ass, you bloody hell"
She got Lacus' note and read:
Hey there, Cagalli! I'm sorry for the last minute notice, but Kira invited me to this cool thing and I couldn't help but agree! We left early, we couldn't contain the excitement! –Lacus
P.S. Have a great summer!
"What the hell is wrong with the people?!" She murmured then read her parent's note.
Calli-walli, your dad and I are on this cool thing and would be gone for two months. Isn't that dandy? Anyway, there's money in the drawer that's enough for two months. Sorry w left so early, we just couldn't contain the excitement! –Mommy and Dad
P.S. Have a great summer!
"Did those blood hell idiots plan this?!" Cagalli gritted her teeth as she threw the notes. "I swear when those people get back, I will kill them! How dare they leave me! And for what? A cool thing!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Meanwhile, Athrun was also preparing for Cagalli's knocking on the door. He placed ear plugs in his pockets, it was just too embarrassing to face her again. But he had to, she's his neighbor and crush! He walked down the stairs and into the living room to great his Father a good morning. But he didn't find his Father reading the paper in the living room.
"Father?" He heard himself call.
He gulped as he entered the kitchen, "Mother?" His Mother wasn't there. He went to their room and took a peek if they were sleeping, no they weren't. In fact, they were gone. He rushed to all the rooms in the house, still no parents.
"Mommy… Daddy… God, please let this be all a joke…" He squeaked as he sat on the sofa in the living room.
Then he saw the two notes on the table. He got the first one, it was from his best friend.
Athrun, hey! Listen, listen, I'm going to be gone for two whole months since I'm with Lacus on this cool thing. I left early cause I can't contain the excitement! –Kira
P.S. Have a great summer!
Athrun's jaw dropped. "Two months! Two! That crap faced bastard!"
He got the other note after tearing Kira's note into pieces due to anger and read…
Athy-wathy! Your Father and I are on this cool thing and we'll be gone for two months. There's money in the drawer that's enough for two months. We left so early because we couldn't contain our excitement! –Mother and Father
P.S. Have a great summer!
Athrun glared at the note. "Damn them! Leaving me to fend for myself! God, is this punishment for not telling Cagalli my feelings yesterday? Cause, You can stop now. I'm really sorry for not doing it… I'm going to make up for it too! I really will!"
Athrun, who was full of determination and had an empty stomach, rose from the sofa and went upstairs. Yes, he was going to his second option. His second counselor, the counselor that had been there more than Kira had. He stepped in his room, faced his bed and there, lay his second counselor, Alex—the teddy bear he had ever since he was a month old.
"Alex, you've got to help me!" Athrun lunged towards his precious teddy and embraced it in his arms. "Kira went AWOL on me and so did Mommy and Daddy! Alex, help me! This is punishment from the Heavens! I should've told Cagalli how I felt even if I wore crap yesterday! Alex, you must have something in your genius mind! Help me!"
Yes, he lost his sanity, pride and dignity. But most of all, his sanity. He was desperate that he went to the creature that didn't leave him—an old teddy bear given the name Alex Zala.
Athrun stared at the old bear. "Tell me, tell me, Alex, guide me!"
And as if some great power occurred, Athrun jumped for joy. "You're a genius, Alex! I should invite Cagalli for lunch! I'm so lucky to have you, Alex! You're the best! I love you—But I love Cagalli more!"
Athrun dashed down to the living room, with Alex in hand. Then he dialed Cagalli's telephone number. He looked like a kid on a sugar rush with that huge grin on his face and th teddy on his arms didn't help.
"Hello?" Cagalli said on the other line.
"Hello? Cagalli? It's Athrun" Athrun grinned at the sound of her voice.
"Athrun! Wh-What—Why are you calling?"
"Al—I just wanted to ask if you'd want to have lunch with me" Athrun asked then gulped, waiting for her answer.
"Um… Okay, sure. Why not"
"Alright! I'll be there in an hour!" Athrun grinned and blushed like a schoolgirl.
"Okay, bye"
"Bye!"
Athrun placed the receiver down and jumped for joy with Alex. "Alex, you genius little bear! I love you so damn much!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Cagalli placed the receiver down. Sh was blushing like a tomato, Athrun Zala—aka love of her life—just asked her to have lunch with him! Sure, they had lunches before. But Kira and Lacus were there, now, they were alone. Only the both of them eating lunch together! Cagalli grinned as she imagined a perfect lunch with Athrun.
Then something hit her like a comet.
"What the fudge am I going to wear!"
Normally, she wouldn't worry about this thing since Lacus would bug her about what to wear to an outing. But this time, Clyne wasn't there bugging her. It was herself bugging herself what to wear. And she had no idea what to wear! She needed her second counselor's help. She quickly went up to her room and saw her counselor sitting on her bed.
"Alexis, I need your help!" She cried as she embraced her teddy bear. "Athrun asked me to have lunch with him and Lacus went AWOL! Now, I don't know what to wear! Alexis, guide me! Tell me! I need to look for Athrun!"
Alexis did nothing else but stare. A few seconds after, Cagalli gasped. "Not that! Alexis, anything but that!"
The bear just stared and Cagalli gasped once more. "Alexis! Don't say it! It's too much! I can't wear such thing for lunch! Alexis! No! Don't tell me I don't have any other choice! Alexis!"
And she had no choice but to listen to the bear. She went to her closet opened it and practically inserted her whole self in it just to get a box. She set the box down on her bed. Th box was plain and simple, but there was a sign there that said, 'Danger! Don't open!', then there was a skull picture under it.
Cagalli gulped as she opened the box. In the box was a blue jeans skirt which was given to her by her Mother only a few months ago. She stared at the skirt as if it was going to kill her, then she held it in her shaking hands.
She gulped "For Athrun…"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Wish me luck, Alex!" Athrun grinned at his bear "I'm leaving for lunch with Cagalli!"
The bear just stared at Athrun. Before Athrun left, he embraced Alex and left him in his room. He went down to get his money and the house keys. He left the house locked and secured then went to Cagalli's house. He gulped as he pressed the door bell, he waited for half a minute until Cagalli came out.
His eyes went wide from behind his sunglasses when he saw the unbelievable. Cagalli—girl of his dreams ever since he saw her when he opened his eyes—was wearing a jeans skirt that was above her knee.
"Heaven's above, you may take my life now… I've just seen Cagalli wear a skirt!" Athrun gulped as his hormones beamed up. "Not now! Later!" He shooed the thoughts away. As if he could.
"So… Are we going?" Cagalli asked.
"Um, yeah, yeah. Let's go to my car" Athrun replied and they both walked to his car. And he just couldn't take his eyes off her.
"Easy breathing, Cagalli" Cagalli told herself as she walked to Athrun's car "It's nothing! It's just a stupid skirt! Don't worry! It's not going to let heads turn! Wait… Isn't that what should happen? So that I'd get Athrun's attention…? My gosh, I'm confused!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Where do you wanna have lunch, Cagalli?" Athrun asked as he finally tore his gaze away from her legs and to the road, surprisingly, they didn't crash.
"A-Anywhere is fine for me" Cagalli replied with a smile "You invited me, you pick!"
"Um… Okay" Athrun nodded then thought of Alex.
"Okay… What would Alex say now? Where should we eat lunch?! I NEED ALEX!!!" Then as if by magic or may be just because he lost his sanity, he heard Alex's voice in his head. "That's right! Alex, you are a genius!"
"Let's have lunch at Lesseps Café!" He announced.
"Alright" Cagalli agreed.
And so, Athrun changed his course and drove to Banadiya Street where the Lesseps Café was located.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
They were now sitting in the Café. They chose a table somewhere far from the crowd and windows. Since Athrun noticed a few heads that turned to Cagalli. And instantly, his blood boiled which made him chose a table far from most people and the windows.
A waitress came to them, well… At least, a guy dressed as a waitress.
"Miss-Miss-Mister La Flaga!" The two gasped as they saw their Health I'm-a-straight-guy teacher.
"Yes, yes, what do you two want?" Their blonde waitress—er, waiter asked, taking a pen and a pad of paper. "C'mon, I can't stand here forever! These heels are killing me!"
"Uh… I'll have a kebab" The two said together then gasped and blushed "Uh, no, make that…"
Mu laughed and batted his one inch eyelashes "Alright, so that's two kebabs, now what else?"
"Andrew's special coffee mix and…" They stopped again, realizing that they said the same thing. "…And we'll have Aisha's…"
"Yes? Okay, two special coffee mixes and Aisha's what?"
"Aisha's banana split sundae, no, make that pudding… No, make that banana split." The two stopped once more, noticing how each word that cam out of their mouths were exactly the same. They even sighed at the same time "That's it for now, sir"
Mu laughed "Alright, kiddos. Food'll be in your table when it'll be on your table. PS, don't forget the tip!"
Then Mu left the two blushing teens alone.
"Sorry!" They both said after a minute "Oh, sorry!" The blush on their cheeks went even redder.
"Alright, Cagalli" Athrun said, this time without Cagalli repeating him. "Um, sorry. Didn't realize…"
"No, I'm sorry…" Cagalli replied "But let's change the topic? How come Sir La Flaga is dressing up as a waitress?"
"Natarle must've fired him!" Athrun replied making Cagalli giggle "All he does in his class is give us dirty magazines"
"Yeah, true!" Cagalli nodded "But, couldn't he wear the male version?"
"You have a point…" Athrun sighed. It was just then he realized, that they were leaning towards each other and were speaking in hushed voices so that their teacher won't hear them. "They ran out?"
"He threw his pride and dignity out the window" Cagalli giggled.
"But, you've got to admit… He's bringing more customers in" Athrun said with a chuckle then Alex's voice cam to his head. "Gasp! Alex, that couldn't be the reason that there are more customers here! You've got to be mistaken! Wait! You're right! All the new customers are men! They… They are staring at Cagalli! But don't they have anyone else to stare at?!
"What?! Yes, of course I want to tell her how I feel! No, I can't do that… It's too embarrassing… There's too many people! A movie? Are you sure? Well, okay, since you said so, Alex…"
"Cagalli, wanna watch a movie after this?" Athrun asked.
"Okay" Cagalli smiled.
"Alexis! Alexis! May be the skirt thing worked! He just invited ME to a MOVIE! Oh! A movie with Athrun Zala alone! Alexis, you're the best!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
At the kitchen in the café…
"My goodness, Kira! Look! Look! Your sister! She's wearing a skirt!"
"What! Lacus, are you certain?! Where?!"
"There!"
"Oh my gosh! She is! Wait! Are those men staring at her?! Let me at em!"
"Kira, you mustn't! Or else our plan will fail! And we'd have wasted a good get away! We almost died this morning!"
"Fine… When they leave, those bastards are dead!"
"Hey, why are you two hiding here?" The owner of the café, Andrew Waltfeld, asked with a sweat drop. "You know, you two could just step out"
"I really appreciate your help, Mr. Yogurt Kebab Person" Lacus smiled at Andrew, not knowing what his name is. "But this is very crucial or else my boyfriend and I had wasted the sixteen years of our wasted lives."
Lacus faced Kira with the sweetest smile that even cavity would die from the sweetness, "Kira, I have an idea and I need your cooperation"
"Um… Okay?"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Here are your kebabs" A waitress slash waiter with the most hideous brown curls and most wrinkled face with the most thick make-up smiled stiffly as his slash her eye twitched. He slash she placed a plate each in front Athrun and Cagalli. "Here's your delish coffee brewed and made by that Kebab Person." The waiter or waitress placed two cups of boiling hot coffee on the table. "The banana split will be here shortly. My, you two are the cutest couple I've ever seen in my entire life! Just to let you know, there's a room upstairs you can use!"
With that, the guy or girl left in the most painful high-heels to the kitchen. Athrun and Cagalli blushed deep red as the waitress left.
"That's it… No matter how I love their food, I'm never coming back here" Athrun murmured as the so-called waitress stumbled in the kitchen and a loud crash was heard. He fought off the stupid blush and just in time when Cagalli spoke.
"Athrun, is it me or did that um… Waitress look very familiar?" Cagalli asked, the blush was gone, but the FAST beating of her heart was still there.
"Hmm… Now that you think of it… He or she reminds me of Kira" Athrun replied, hissing Kira's name with hate.
"So called brother of mine left… Damn him!" Cagalli reached out for the hot sauce absently as she told Athrun abut Kira.
"Yeah" Athrun agreed also reaching for the hot sauce. "And I thought he's my best friend"
"Uh-huh" Cagalli nodded, their hands only centimeters apart "So am I with Lacus. Those backstabbers…"
"My parent's went AWOL as well" Athrun said and that when their hands touched and they immediately pulled back.
"You first!" They both said a second afterwards "No, I insist! Really!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Lacus! I can't believe you made me wear this!" Kira pouted at his so-called kind and caring girlfriend. "It was bad enough I had to wear ridiculous clothing yesterday!"
"But, Kira, at least it helped a bit!" Lacus replied as she raised her hands like a shield "But don't worry! I'm going to make things even better 'cause I have another plan!"
"Lacus, do you realize your plans always get me tortured? Like this morning, they looked like they were going to destroy my precious car! Then now, I'm dressing like a waitress!"
"That or sixteen years of waste"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
While eating, some chili sauce spilled on Athrun's jacket. So, he excused himself to the men's room leaving Cagalli alone in the table. Kira and Lacus were observing the table from behind the kitchen door. Kira still in his waitress outfit. Andrew was making more coffee at the background and Aisha was making the perfect banana split.
Just then, a guy about their age approached the table where Cagalli was sitting.
Kira gritted his teeth, making him look as hideous as ever especially in the thick make-up. "He's trying to make a move on my sister!"
Lacus pulled Kira back, preventing him from busting out the door and ruining her perfect plan. She grabbed him by the collar and sobbed "No! Don't! Sixteen years, Kira! Sixteen! I lost my youth because of helping your sister! I am already growing wrinkles! We've wasted sixteen years! We have to end this now!"
"Um, can you two cut the drama?" Andrew asked "The coffee doesn't like drama"
"Shut-up!" Lacus glared "You have no idea how much we feel!"
"But, Lacus! That guy is practically reaching up Cagalli's skirt!" Kira exclaimed as he didn't mind Lacus choking him.
"WHAT!" Lacus let go of Kira and pushed him away so that she could have a great view. "Oh my gosh! He is! And why the hell isn't Cagalli doing anything!
"Lacus!" Kira gasped "You just said!"
But before he could say anything more, Lacus grabbed the nearest possible person and it was Mu. He was suddenly thrown by Lacus to the table where Cagalli was. "La Flaga, get that bastard away from my friend, NOW!!!"
"WHA?! AHHH!!!" Mu yelled as he was flying towards the bastard.
"GAH!" Cagalli gasped as the guy who came near her was hit by her Health teacher. "My God! Sir La Flaga!"
Athrun came back, his jacket was chili free, and he was shocked to see two men—one dressed like a woman and the other dressed like a pimp—on the ground.
"What happened?" He asked Cagalli.
"I don't know!" Cagalli replied "This guy was just asking for my phone number and La Flaga flew on him!"
"He was reaching up for your skirt, girlie!" Mu managed to say then he fainted.
"What!" Athrun and Cagalli gasped.
"I didn't realize!" Cagalli gasped and turned pale.
"Sure as hell I'm going to give Mu a tip…" Athrun thought as he stomped on the bastard on his way to his seat.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Half an hour or longer later, the most hideous waiter slash waitress aka Kira Hibiki, the forever tormented soul, came back with a tray of banana split sundae/s. As he did his walk of death towards the farthest table in the café, his feet were sore as sore can be.
"Where in hell did Lacus find these heels! It's killing me!" Kira yelled in his head. Then he stepped on the bastard who still laid there in the most sharpest heels and kept on standing on him as he smiled at his friend and sister. He placed the one bowl of banana split sundae on the table. "Sorry, love birds, we can only provide one last sundae. But I don't think that's a problem for you two, right? Being a couple and all. Here, let me take those dirty plates"
Kira snatched the two plates along with the spoons and forks. "God, these heels are killing me! Luckily, there's this comfortable carpet to step on!" Kira stomped his feet hard on the bastard under him and heard moans of pain. "You be bad now!" And Kira left them alone once more, and once more, they were blushing fools.
Athrun and Cagalli blushed as they stared at the only banana split on the table and with the only spoon left on the table.
"Um, why don't you eat it" Athrun offered with a blushing face.
"No, you eat it" Cagalli replied, also with a blushing face. "You're the host"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"My goodness!" Lacus huffed as she placed her fists on her sides "I swear, those two are too damn shy! I'm loosing my patience!"
"Lacus, what're you gonna do?" Kira asked as he saw his fuming girl march towards the door. "Lacus?"
"HEY!!! NEW ANNOUNCEMENT!!! EVERYONE MUST EAT ALL THE FOOD THEY F(toot)ING ORDERED!!! OR ELSE!!!" Lacus yelled to the customers in a very not-Lacus-like way. Kira pulled her back in the kitchen before anyone saw her, luckily!
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Did that announcer just sound like Lacus?" Athrun gasped.
"Can't be!" Cagalli said "Lacus would never say that and yell—she's too good to curse or yell!"
The they sighed.
"I guess… We don't have a choice" Athrun told Cagalli, blushing.
"I guess…" Cagalli replied with a blushing face.
"YOU FIRST!" Thy said at the same time "No, you! No, really, you! But—No, I insist!"
Cagalli got the spoon, scooped some of the ice cream and pressed it to Athrun's mouth. "You first!"
Athrun was about to protest, but when he opened his mouth, Cagalli inserted the damned spoon. She pulled the spoon out and realized what she just did and instantly blushed.
"Sorry…"
"No-No!" Athrun said quickly, he didn't want her to feel bad. "It's alright! But…" He smirked as he reached for the spoon "…It's your turn!"
"Wha—" Cagalli was cut off when the spoon went in her mouth. And my gosh, was she blushing crazily! "OMG! The spoon that entered Athrun Zala's mouth is currently in my mouth! Heavens above, you may take my life at this moment!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"Finally! Some romance!" Lacus huffed angrily as Kira tried to calm her down.
"He's tackling her!" Kira gritted his teeth.
"That or sixteen years"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Kira followed Lacus as she ran in her heels towards the ticket booth. He was surprised how she didn't whine about it killing her feet, then the more was he surprised when Lacus kicked the door open and tackled the ticket guy—who happened to be Shinn—down.
"My GOD!" Shinn gasped as Lacus threw him out the booth and hitting Kira as he was flying out. "Hibiki, that girl of yours is mighty strong!"
"Surprises me, too!" Kira replied.
"Kira! Get your ass in here!" Lacus ordered. "We need to get you dressed!"
"WHAT!" Kira gasped and turned pale, then Lacus pulled him in the booth.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"So, what will the happy couple watch?" A brunette ticket girl asked with the ugliest grin in the world.
Athrun and Cagalli stared at the ticket person as if he or she were an alien! With the most untamed and unruly hair sticking at odd ends and the super thick lipstick with the three inch lashes and dark blue eye shadow, who would not stare?!
"Um… Uh… We'll have two tickets of—" Athrun began but the ticket girl's hand flew out the small hole giving them two blood red tickets.
"Have a great time! Btw, there's condoms for sale at the snack counter—pick your flavor!" The ticket girl winked as Athrun and Cagalli left in a hurry. Then the ticket girl turned and gritted her teeth. "Lacus! Why the heck did you push my hand out?"
"Because, you were too slow!" Lacus replied.
"They didn't even say what movie!"
"But then, you gave them tickets to that zombie movie—at least we know Cagalli's arms would be all over Athrun!"
"Why couldn't we let Shinn do it? And who composed this script?" Kira asked showing Lacus a bunch of pink papers with the lines he just said a while ago and also at the café when he acted as waitress and as ticket girl.
"Me, of course!" Lacus giggled.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"That ticket girl looked like Kira" Cagalli said as Athrun was paying for the snacks.
"Cagalli, that ticket girl looked like a gorilla!" Athrun told her and handed her a can of soda. "Anyway, let's get going?"
"Okay" Cagalli nodded then followed Athrun, but risking an embarrassed glance at the flavored condoms on display.
When they got in and found their seats, the movie was just about to start.
"I wonder what movie this is" Cagalli said as she grabbed some pop corn from Athrun. Since thy only had one big tub of pop corn.
"I don't know" Athrun shrugged his shoulders "That ticket girl just shoved the tickets out and we left without paying."
"Weird ticket girl" Cagalli commented then drank her soda.
AS she was drinking, a bloodied head of a zombie was closed up and Cagalli swore her soul left her. Then a woman yelled and the zombie bit her flesh and drank her blood. Cagalli couldn't help but yell in fright and cling on Athrun's arm, at the process of yelling and clinging her soda was thrown away and it landed on some pitiful watcher.
"Cagalli, what's wrong?" Athrun asked worriedly, as he placed the huge tub of popcorn on the empty seat beside him.
"Nothing" Cagalli lied as she held Athrun's arm like a scared child, which she was—scared.
"Let's get out of here and get a new movie" Athrun said as she stood up and helped her up. But when Cagalli was already standing, another woman yelled from the movie and made Cagalli trip and fall on him. Now, they were both lying on the floor, Cagalli on top of Athrun. But did the guard care? No, it was all too natural.
Besides, the movie theatre is called SteLar's Utopia Theatre HOUSE.
"Cagalli, are you alright?" Athrun asked after recovering from the fall.
"I'm sorry…" Cagalli apologized with a sob, just when she was about to get up, another yell came from the movie and Cagalli held on to Athrun.
That's when Athrun understood everything—okay, with the help of Alex's voice in his head, he understood. He embraced Cagalli tightly, and secretly, enjoying the position they were in. "Let's get out of here?"
"Alright" Cagalli replied with a shaking voice.
But as they were about to stand up and leave, there was an announcement made.
"ANYONE WHO ENTERED TO WATCH THIS F(toot)ING THIS MOVIE WILL NOT AND CANNOT LEAVE UNTIL THE MOVIE IS OVER, GOT IT?!"
"Oh, hell…" Athrun cursed. "I better kill the authoress when I find her!"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
The movie was unfortunately, five hours long. And Cagalli had been crying for five hours straight with Athrun embracing her of course. And this time, both of them weren't blushing.
The guard that was there, was even wondering if thy grew tired of… comforting each other. Since the movie was about to end and the two haven't gotten up back to their seats yet.
"Cagalli, I think the movie is about to be done." Athrun told her as she still continued to cry. "Let's get out of here"
Then Athrun managed to get up to his feet with Cagalli still crying and clinging on him. But he didn't mind, he loved it! He gave Cagalli his jacket to wear as they went out of the theater. But when they just took the first three steps out the building, rain fell violently to the earth instantly making everything wet as water.
"Hurry!" Athrun said and pulled Cagalli's wrist with a smile, and they both ran to his car.
At least, that got Cagalli smiling and grinning again.
OOOOOOOOOOOO
"If she gets sick, I'm killing him!" Kira told Lacus.
"That or sixteen years, Kira"
OOOOOOOOOOOO
When they arrived back home, it was still raining heavily and they didn't have an umbrella. Athrun got out of the car first, not minding the rain and opened Cagalli's door, helping her out. He walked her to the door and waited until she would get in.
"Hey, thanks for everything, Athrun" Cagalli smiled "Even if it was very weird"
"Yeah" Athrun replied with a smile. The two didn't seem to mind the rain.
"Do you wanna come in for a while?"
"Nah, I'm too wet. Besides, my house is just next door"
Then Alex's voice rang in Athrun's head. "Alex! NO! I can't! It's—But! Okay! Okay! Fine!"
"Hey, Cagalli" Athrun called nervously.
"Yeah?" Cagalli turned her head to face him.
"You know… There's one more thing we're missing" Athrun said with a blush. "Right! Gather up my courage! Got it, Alex!" Athrun inhaled then the blush disappeared.
"Huh?"
Athrun leaned down to Cagalli, with all the courage he had. "We went out for lunch, shared a sundae and watched a movie. I think that several date elements… So…"
"Athrun?" Cagalli whispered as she blushed. Then without another word, Athrun kissed her on the lips.
And the rainy weather didn't seem so cold anymore, in fact, it was warm. Very warm. When Athrun pulled away, they were both blushing tomatoes.
"Um… Still wanna come in?" Cagalli asked, since there was nothing else in her mind. Plus, that's what Alexis' voice told her in her head.
"Alex, should I?" Athrun asked in his mind then Alex's voice replied. "Okay"
Then Athrun got in Cagalli's house. "What? Now? Okay! Okay! I got it! I got it!"
"You know what, Cagalli?" Athrun suddenly asked, making Cagalli turn to face him again. There was a faint blush in his cheeks when he said "I really like you"
"Wha???" Cagalli blinked and Athrun embraced her, kissing her on the lips again. This time, that kiss was longer and she wrapped her arms around his neck.
Also, this time, they weren't blushing. This time, they felt it was natural, that it was just right for them to be kissing.
"Did I say that I really like you?" Athrun grinned as his were still around Cagalli's waist "I meant, I love you"
Cagalli smiled "I love you, too"
And they went back to kissing…
OOOOOOOOOOOO
Hours and hours and hours and hours later, the two teens were dry and lying on the couch. The lights were off because there was short black out because of the rain, they were in new clothes so that they were dry. Cagalli wore only a large shirt while Athrun borrowed one of Kira's pants. Cagalli was on top of Athrun and was loving every moment she spent with him.
"You know, luckily, Kira and Lacus or our parents aren't here" Cagalli said.
"Yeah" Athrun agreed "No one's gonna disturb us. Besides, if they're back, we'll just pulverize them for leaving us to fend for ourselves"
"Right" Cagalli grinned and was about to kiss Athrun once more when door was slammed open. The couples head shot up and looked at the door in horror.
"CAGALLI! ATHRUN!" The pairs of parents exclaimed as they saw their kids on the couch in that position with the lights turned off in a rainy day supposedly without any parents around. What kind of conclusions would be concluded? Yep, the parents had that conclusion and were speechless…
THE END
A/N: So? Whatcha think? Tell me with a review! Also, please read Backfire! and Love IS Stupid along with…
Please also read and review my other fics: Backfire!, Deadly Love, Don't Leave Me Alone, Falling, I Love You, Jokes and Harmony, Lies in Love, Love IS Stupid, Loved, Maybe, Moodulator, Mushrooms, Only Friends, Sick Day, Snowflake, The Truth, Valentine, Vampires, Waiting and Zala's Witch.
Also, I will only update Love IS Stupid and Backfire! if I get seven reviews for it. Bye for now!
Innocence that can harm none,
Yhannen Greystone