Author's Note – Hey guys!! Thanks for those song requests, I really appreciate all your help and I will try my best to put all the requests in :) Thanks to those who reviewed Chapter 25 – Romantically Loveless, simplicity's control, Ayumu10, starooo, Star Sapphirex, Venus Syrinx, Me !!, -KateDominique-, mikanxnatsume, Youichiix3, animerulezgirl, Jojo, sakuraheartz, marvic31, Hourglass20, Immortallove, rebellious-and-ditzy-bookworm, and goddessAngela. If I missed out on anybody, don't hesitate to point it out. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!! Please leave a review afterwards! Thanks!
Disclaimer – Gakuen Alice belongs to Higuchi Tachibana, not me! D:
Warning – OOCness
Featured Song
Perfect by Simple Plan (requested by anon reviewer)
XXX
Our Love is a Rock Song
By Keiko Oda
Chapter 26: One Last Chance After Six Years of Silence
XXX
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
"I'm going to run away tonight," muttered a dark-haired boy at the age of twelve, as he rummaged through his drawers as quietly as possible. "I'm going to Tokyo, and I will never come back to this house – this prison"
It was two in the morning, and a massive typhoon was blowing in; but Natsume wasn't about to let that put his last chance of escape to a halt. He had had enough of this nightmare, and the monster that lived in it. His heart yearned for freedom, happiness and music. Why endure the torture and anguish from his father when he could be living a life of rock and roll in Tokyo? He had to leave. He had to leave now.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Natsume had stayed awake the whole night, devising an escape plan while his drunken father snored in the next room. It was quarter to two when he decided to take action.
He slipped out of bed, and took out his duffle bag from his closet. He packed the necessities – a map, two day's worth of clothes, toiletries, all his savings from his piggy bank and one volume of his favourite shounen manga. It was hard to part with the rest, but he had to travel light.
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
It was pouring outside, and the cold wind battered wildly against the window. Natsume did his best to keep warm – he wore a thick hoodie and a scarf that his mom made him. Mom, Natsume thought bitterly, you were the only person who supported my music dream. I'm going to fulfil that dream. He switched on his desk lamp, and opened the drawer. He fished out a photograph of his mother and pocketed it. I'm going to make you proud.
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for yo
u I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
All of a sudden, he heard a slight tap on the door. "Natsume?"
Natsume froze. Shit. It's dad.
"Are you awake, son?"
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts foreve
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Natsume put his hands over his mouth, and slowly backed away. His heartbeat accelerated, pounding restlessly in his chest. What am I going to do? He panicked. Now that dad's behind the door, I've got no place to escape.
"Natsume, I know you're awake," said Hyuuga-sama, his voice raising. Natsume saw the doorknob twist, but he had locked the door; so his father couldn't get in. "Open the door now!" he heard his father yell.
Natsume had to think fast. His eyes flickered to the window. He could escape there, but he would have to slide down the roof, climb down the tree and make a run for it. But the weather was terrible, and the chances of coming out unharmed were slim.
"Natsume!!! Did you hear me!??! Open the door or you'll be sorry!"
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard just to talk to you
But you don't understand
Natsume nodded. It was now or never.
Hyuuga-sama was now angrily banging at the door, curses and swears heatedly spewing out of his mouth. Natsume ignored him, and tried lifting the window. It was jammed! Natsume was in panic, his mind clouded with anxiety and fear. His father was now kicking the door, infuriated as ever. "NATSUME, I'M GOING TO BEAT THE HELL OUT OF YOU!!!!!" he threatened, striking the door one more time.
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and We can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Although it was insanely cold, Natsume was working up a sweat trying to lift the window. "Don't...give...up..." he said, beginning to lose his breath.
And then, the most terrible thing that could happen at that point occurred. His father had broken through the door, his face red with fury. In his hands were a beer bottle and a gun, which he most likely used to break in. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?!"
The expression on his father's face was so angry, so threatening, that giving up was probably the best solution to the situation. After all, even if he did escape, his father would catch up to him anyway; so what was the point of even trying? All Natsume's efforts seemed futile as Hyuuga-sama approached his son with a fierce, homicidal glare.
The last bit of hope sparked in Natsume, and he mustered up all that he had left to lift the window.
'Cuz we lost it all Nothing lasts forever
Nothing lasts forever
WOOOOSSSHHHHHHH.
A strong, freezing wind gusted in; almost throwing Hyuuga-sama off balance. Natsume stared at the outside world hungrily. This was his chance. This was his future!
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late
Natsume took one last look at his father, who just stood in the middle of the room; mouth agape and eyes bloodshot. He lifted his gun.
…and We can't go back
"If...if...you dare...leave this house...Natsume...I swear to God, I will shoot!"
"Try me" replied Natsume confidently, and with that, he slipped out the window.
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect
XXX
Beep. Beep. Beep.
"Natsume-kun? Are you awake?"
Natsume's eyes flickered open. "What time is it, baka?" he asked, turning over to look at his Mikan; who was sitting next to him, almost half-asleep.
"Three in the morning" yawned Mikan. The two of them had been sitting outside the operating room for five hours now, anticipating the results of Hyuuga-sama's x-ray.
"Why don't you go home, Polka Dots? It's really late. And this dude isn't your father, he's mine"
"Technically, he isn't your father either...you know, with the way he treated you and all"
"My mom loved him very much," Natsume told Mikan, "I'm doing this for her"
"Paying for your dad's hospital bills?" asked Mikan.
Natsume lifted his eyebrows as a yes.
"Natsume Hyuuga?" said a voice from behind.
Natsume turned around. It was a doctor.
"Yeah, that's me."
"I'm Doctor Fujiwara; I assessed your father's x-ray"
"Oh, Okay. Sooo, how'd it go?"
"It's perplexing," began Doctor Fujiwara, "Despite the diagnosis from your father's oncologist, I can find nothing wrong with your father's bones"
"What? But he has bone cancer"
"I...I know...Maybe there's something wrong with the x-ray machine or something" Doctor Fujiwara said, scratching his head. He showed Natsume the x-ray results. "See? Perfect condition"
"There must be some kind of mistake" Natsume protested.
Mikan looked at the x-rays. Yes, there must be a mistake.
XXX
"There must be something wrong with the x-ray machine," Hyuuga-sama said, as he went through the x-ray photographs. "I have bone cancer. I'm sure of it. I have test results, monitory...ahem...even my oncologist –
"Yeah, whatever, dad. If you do have cancer, don't get so worked up; alright? Jeez" Natsume said, zipping up his jacket.
"Perhaps I should go back to Kyoto, and...cough... discuss things with my oncologist" Hyuuga-sama wheezed.
"Maybe you should" replied Natsume, disinterested.
"Natsume-kun, do you think you can lend me a bit of money? I used up all my savings going to Tokyo"
Natsume raised an eyebrow. "What?"
"Natsume-kun, it's better than having all your earnings gather up in cobwebs in the bank" squeaked Hyuuga-sama
Natsume eyed his father suspiciously. "How much?"
"Five hundred thousand?"
"What the hell, dad" Natsume said, without a hint of emotion in his eyes.
"I'll pay you back, I swear, son, I will"
"You expect me to believe the promises of a liar?" Natsume scoffed.
"For the past years, Natsume-kun, my clients have paid me in assets. As soon as I sell those assets, I swear to God…I will pay you back" Hyuuga-sama choked, his eyes brimming.
Natsume clenched his fists, his veins throbbing heatedly. He shut his eyes, resisting the urge to lunge at his father and strangle him.
"How much did you say again?"
XXX
"That son-of-a adfadkjlsmf,erads!" Natsume spat, as he and Mikan arrived home that evening. "After years of neglecting me, he expects me to give him JUST...note the sarcasm here, Polka, JUST a few hundred thousand yen?! For the Love of God, who does he think he is?!?!"
"Your father" Mikan shrugged, not knowing what else to say.
Natsume pulled out his drawer and fished out a cheque book.
"What're you doing?" asked Mikan, who was hovering over his shoulder.
"Issuing the bastard a cheque" replied Natsume sourly.
"I don't get it...you really hate that guy, and yet, you're helping him?" said Mikan, absolutely perplexed.
Natsume didn't say anything; he scribbled 500,000 yen on a cheque and signed his name. His face was flushed with anger, and he grinded his teeth impatiently. "I wanna rip his head off and agjrfkamlsfdec,la!!!"
Mikan sighed. Natsume is a really kind person, she thought, Even though he hates his father so much...he's willing to give up a huge sum of money for him. He's so....
"RARGH!" Natsume groaned, tearing the cheque in half
"Natsume-kun?!" Mikan said, as he crumpled it and threw it on the carpet.
"That was just my anger talking," Natsume confirmed, trying his best to cool off, "I'm going to make another one" he muttered, and began on another cheque. He scribbled on the paper so hard; he could've borne a hole and created a small fire.
"THERE!" He yelled, "500 HUNDRED THOUSAND YEN!" he said, holding the cheque high in the air.
Mikan sighed. Natsume was really having a hard time with this. She took the cheque from his hand.
"Natsume-kun...if you want, I'll bring it to the hospital. You've really worn yourself out the past two days, I'll do it" Mikan offered, pocketing the cheque. "Don't be too hard on yourself" she advised, taking his hand. "It will do you good"
Natsume sighed. "I appreciate your cheesiness, Polka, but that won't be necessary" he murmured, snatching the cheque from her fingers.
"Ah...Natsume-kun! You should at least let me come with you!" Mikan pressed on.
Natsume looked at her, and gave a smirk. "Do what you like"
Mikan smiled. Natsume-kun…
XXX
After a night's sleep and a breakfast of hash browns, Natsume and Mikan headed over to Tokyo Doctors to (unwillingly) hand over the cheque to Natsume's father.
Once they arrived at the eighth floor; a nurse greeted them.
"Hyuuga-kun! We've been expecting you! Are you here to see your father?"
"Duh" Natsume muttered, securing the cheque in his pocket.
The nurse gave a sheepish smile. "He's having a private phone call at the moment, and he wishes not to be disturbed"
"I'm his son" Natsume pointed out.
"Yes…but…ah…gomen, even his son isn't permitted to –
"What's the problem? How private can this call be?" Natsume asked, his temper slowly escalating.
"Well –
Natsume didn't wait for the nurse to finish; he brushed past her and ran through the corridor. Something isn't right here, Natsume thought; as he pushed his way past walking doctors and caregivers.
Each breath he took, brought more doubt and suspicion to Natsume. It gnawed on him like a worm, surreptitiously slithering into his head, making its way through his bloodstream and releasing more distrustful thoughts.
He reached the door of his father's room. He didn't dare enter. He didn't want to. He just pressed his ear against the door, and shut his eyes. Please don't tell me that…
"N-Natsume-kun?" Mikan came behind him. "Is everything okay?"
But Natsume didn't reply. He just remained glued to the door, his face pale and his eyes expressionless.
"Natsume – Natsume! Where are you going?!"
I don't see anything, Natsume thought as he ran down the staircase; I don't hear anything. I don't feel anything. I want to disappear. I want to die.
XXX
Have you ever had that feeling, of wanting to have a vortex open up in front of you and suck you into nothingness and be wiped out of existence? Have you ever wished you never lived at all? Have you ever been so disappointed – so crushed; that you just wanted to shut yourself out of the world and be consumed in darkness forever?
Natsume Hyuuga has.
He sat in the shower of his bathroom, drenched in his own clothes. He shivered under the icy cold water, with his head buried between his knees. He rocked himself back and forth, choking back hot painful tears. He tried his best not cry. After all, crying was not for Natsume Hyuuga.
Natsume was no stranger to betrayal – not at all. But each time he came across it, it pierced him at his most vulnerable hour.
All his senses had shut down, and he felt like a cold, forgotten corpse left out in the rain.
Did he have anyone left to trust? To confide in? To rely on?
Did he actually have ANYONE at all?
"Natsume-kun?"
The lights flickered open, and Natsume pressed himself against the shower wall; in the hope that he wouldn't be found. He felt useless and weak and he didn't want anyone to see him in this state.
The shower door slid open. It was Mikan.
"Natsume-kun? Are you alright?"
"Do I look alright?" Natsume murmured. "Don't ask such idiotic questions, you stupid girl and leave me alone!"
Mikan crouched down. "W-what happened?"
"I don't want to talk about it"
"You'll feel better if you do"
Silence.
"Natsu -
"I DON'T WANT TO" Natsume yelled, his voice rattling the bathroom. He gave Mikan a murderous glare, hoping to ward her off.
Mikan winced, obviously frightened and confused. Who could blame her? She had no clue on what was going on – and the homicidal atmosphere Natsume was giving off just worsened the situation. But still, she didn't make a move.
She put her hand on Natsume's cheek, only to have him slap it off angrily.
"Don't touch me!" he shouted, anger seething out of his crimson eyes.
Mikan backed away, her eyes brimming. Natsume wanted to kill himself. The love of his life was just trying to make him feel better, and he was just pushing her away! What the hell is wrong with you, Natsume? He thought. Stop messing up your life and –
All of a sudden, Mikan gently took Natsume and enveloped him in her arms.
"Don't…go through this…don't go through this alone" she whispered in his ear.
And in that instant, Natsume's senses returned. He could hear her heartbeat in perfect synchronization with his, he could smell her intoxicating, powdery, cherry scent, he could feel her warm body cushion and comfort him and she – Mikan, his only hope, come into crystal clarity.
Natsume stared at her, his eyes longing and desperate. Mikan put her hands on both his cheeks and kissed him. And once Natsume tasted her sincerity – it happened. Natsume Hyuuga cried.
"The money? Yes, I promise! It will be with you by next week? What? Where did I get it? From my son, of course! Yes, the rock star – who else? Haha! I just had to fake all my oncology papers and all the crap, and the boy agreed to the amount in a snap! I don't feel guilty, you idiot! He's just my SON, what's the problem? He was always so gullible...even as a kid! Hahaha! Come to think of it, I should've asked for ONE MILLION YEN instead! He was so stupid!!! Love him? HAHA, Have you forgotten that I'm a heartless bastard; you fool? Why would I love Natsume?"
Why would I love Natsume?
That is what Natsume heard as he pressed his ear against the door of Room 817.
Yes, his father had betrayed him again. He apparently hadn't gotten sick of toying with his son.
Natsume felt like a fool. He had been deceived. He had been lied to and tricked into thinking that this would be the last chance of fixing up things with his dad after six years of grudging silence.
Obviously, Natsume's expectations were let down once more and the hope of ever patching up that hole in his heart, which was borne from anger and distress from his past; was ripped and torn into smithereens.
"Who can I trust?" Natsume muttered, his body shivering in anger. Tears stung his eyes, and trickled down his face. "No one"
"Can I trust you, Natsume-kun?" Mikan asked.
"Mikan-chan," Natsume said, his bangs covering his eyes, "Betraying you will only kill me"
Mikan smiled. "You can trust me, Natsume-kun"
And Natsume shut his eyes once more, for the reassurance in Mikan's voice was all he really needed.
END OF CHAPTER