A/N: FYI, the film the bohos are watching is "Grindhouse". Both Tracie and Rosario are in the segment called "Death Proof". Go see it!
This fic is inspired by my second viewing of the film in my local AMC theatre. A perv put his fucking hand on my leg. My version is not as exciting, though…
I would like to thank the girls of IMDB (the best site EVER) for giving me hilarious replies to my complaint thread.
Enjoy!
"Oh, god!!" Mimi cringed. She clutched Roger's arm, burying her face in his shoulder. "Tell me when it's safe to look!"
Joanne smirked. She leaned over and whispered to Mimi. "It's just a movie, you know…"
Just as she was consoling Mimi, the antagonist of the movie had driven the girls off the road…supposedly killing one of them.
"Oh no he didn't!!" Joanne hissed, straightening up in her chair. "That bastard!!"
Maureen giggled at her lover, giving her a teasing smile. "Calm down, pookie…it's only a movie, after all."
Mark caught Benny's eye and both of them rolled their eyes. "Women!"
Angel gripped Collins' hand nervously. "I sure hope the girls are okay…Abernathy reminds me so much of Mimi…"
Collins chuckled. "Yeah. I know what you mean. Kim looks a little like Joanne…"
"Really? You think so too, honey?" Angel laughed. "It's a good thing to know I'm not the only one who thought that!"
Just as she was finishing her sentence, Angel felt a cold, clammy hand snake its way onto her upper thigh. A hand that definatley did not belong to her lover. Her heart nearly stopped. She jumped in shock and disgust, making a cute little squeak in the process. She slapped the guy's hand away. To her amazement, he didn't even flinch. The slime ball stared straight ahead, as if watching the movie. Yeah, right.
Collins grinned and put his arm around her, pulling her close. "You're really scared huh? Don't worry, Ang...I'll keep the nightmares away…" He kissed the top of her head fondly.
Angel slowly shook her head. "No. It's not that…it's…" She looked up at him, turning scarlet.
Concern flickered in Collins' eyes. "What's the matter, baby?"
"That guy beside me…he put his hand on my leg…"
The professor's eyes widened in surprise and outrage at the news. He nearly choked on his popcorn "What??!" He whispered hoarsely, starting from his seat.
"No, honey. Please…it's okay. Really...I'm not hurt or anything." Angel gripped his shoulder with a gentle, reassuring squeeze. Trying to keep the peace.
"I'll kill him." Collins growled.
"What's going on, you guys??" Mark whispered over to the couple. All of the other bohemians where staring at them now.
"I'll kill him." Collins repeated, his hands balling into fists.
"That guy…" Angel said quietly, nodding over in his direction. "He put his hand on my leg. It's no big deal, really…"
Everyone gasped.
"What??" Mimi's eyebrows shot up.
"That's sick!" Roger shook his head.
"Ewww…I can't believe that fuck did that to you! What a goddamn perv!!" Maureen spat, attracting attention.
"Shhhhh…it's alright. Let's just forget it…" Angel glanced nervously at the people beginning to stare.
"Hell no! I can't just forget the fact that a fucking pervert violated my friend!!" Maureen nearly screamed. The people around them began to murmur.
"Who's a pervert???" A curious female voice shouted from the back of the theatre.
Maureen jumped up, pointing at the motionless man. "HERE HE IS!!" She screeched. "I suggest staying away from him, ladies! Unless you want his dirty hand up your skirt!"
People in the auditorium gasped, horrified. The man slumped in his seat, turning bright red. He began to sweat. He swallowed thickly.
"Sexual harassment…that will not look good on your record." Joanne glared at him.
"Mark, did you get that on camera?" Benny asked him.
The filmmaker nodded, putting on a good bluff. "You bet I did." Truth was, he didn't even bring his camera with him into the theater…they were prohibited.
"Give us one good reason why we shouldn't report you to the police, asshole." Collins demanded him.
The creep stared at them. At a loss for words. "Uh…I…."
Suddenly, the man was cut short but Mimi's half full cup of soda noisily smacking him upside the head, spilling all over him.
This triggered an explosion. As if on cue, popcorn began to rain down on the guy from all directions. As they were throwing their food, the spectators hurled all sorts of verbal abuse.
"Rat!"
"Bastard!"
"Sick fuck!"
"Get out of here!"
"Someone call the police!"
The bohemians moved over so as not to get in the way. They grinned with glee.
Dodging flying food, Angel slid over next to him and grasped the hand that violated her in a vise like grip. She decided to mess with his head. She twisted his arm and yanked him toward her, causing him to wince in pain. The drag queen leaned forward with a menacing look in her eye, she allowed her voice to drop about an octave and a half.
"Yo, bitch! You touch me again and I'll bust a cap in your motherfucking ass!!! Understand?!!"
That was enough to make him jump up and run from the theatre.
People began cheering.
"Good one, Ang!!" Mimi sat back down, cackling hysterically. She gave her best friend a high five.
"Thank you, honey!" Angel chirped, quite proud of herself.
"I think we should go after him…" Collins stared at the direction the man went.
Angel leaned in to kiss him. "Don't worry about it, sweetie. We'll complain about him when the movie is over….but for now, let's sit back and enjoy it!"
"I love you, you know that?" Collins purred, sweeping a hand over her leg. "And you do have nice legs!" He winked at her.
Angel giggled. "Now that's a touch I don't mind!
"Get a room, you two!" Maureen joked, elbowing Collins in the side lightly.
The bohemians turned their attention back to the movie screen. By now the three girls who had been run off the road had turned the table on their attacker…they were beating the shit out of him.
The audience (including the 8 friends) erupted in applause and cheers. Both for the victory on the screen and the victory in the theatre.
THE END