Poor Wimpy Pathetic, Eragon

by:Novicewriter

WARNING!!!: if you take Eldest to seriously to take a joke, then please, don't send me bad reviews just don't read it. Sorry for spelling errors.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eldest: Urgals are carrying Murtagh away

The Murtagh and Ajihad were fighting Urgals in the tunnels underneath Farthaen dur, while Eragon stared like an idiot from the sidelines.

"Omg, there are to many of them. I am scared, Saphira hold me." yelled Eragon

"What an idiot!" replied Saphira, "You have to get out there and help Murtagh!"

"But, but, Saphira, I am scared."

And with a harsh nudge Saphira pushed the wimp into the battle, in which caused him to crawl into a feetle position.

"Ugh, I can't believe I picked you for my rider."

During the time with which Eragon was watching Murtagh get hauled away and Ajihad killed.

"Get your F-ing butt up and help me Eragon!"Screamed Murtagh

"Noooooooooooooooooooooo!" cried Eragon, "I can't live without Murtagh! I am too much of a wimp to defend myself!"

"Wow, you know what, SCREW YOU!!!" yelled Murtagh as he was hauled away.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eldest: When Arya told him that it would never work between them

"Arya, I have to tell you something."said Eragon

"What is it now." replied Arya

"I love you, and I want to be with you, and I don't want to have to stalk you from the shadows anymore."

"You stalked me from the shadows!"

"Maybe... anyway... What do you say?"

"No, you are a perverted stalker!" yelled Arya, "I can't stand the fact that you are being this retarded."

Arya walked away like the careless prep she is.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WOE IS ME!!!WOE IS ME!!!" yelled Eragon in front of a crowd of elves

Eragon cries dramatically for the next three days.

"You are such a numb nuts!" scolded Saphira,"You just can't help yourself."

"No" sniffle sniffle

"Is it to late to change my mind about my rider." thought Saphira

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eldest: Burning plains when Eragon sees the "Red Rider"

"Saphira, that rider looks familiar." said Eragon,"He also has Murtagh's sword."

"OMG... what an idiot." thought Saphira

"You know I can hear every word that your saying."

"Yes, I know."

"Look he also has Mutaghs hair and body and voice. I still wonder, It is on the tip of my tongue."

"OMG!"

"IT IS MURTAGH YOU NUMB NUTS!!!"

"Oh, well that would explain it." said Eragon,"And you didn't have to yell." sniffle sniffle

"SUCK IT UP YOU IDIOT!!!"

"I can't fight with you yelling." cried Eragon now crying

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, thanks for reading, I just couldn't help but make fun if the characters worst attributes. Review please.