He watched her as she walked toward him down the hall to the bedroom, a puppy prancing at her heels and her body unclothed but for the lace panties. Her hips had a slight sway and her bare breasts bounced lightly with each step, her movements sure and unembarrassed by her nearly complete lack of clothing. Her concentration had turned from him to the puppy trying so hard to trip her, not trip her enough for her to fall, but enough for her to stumble and drop the caramel covered sweet rolls into his waiting mouth.
"Shoo, come on, move it Hayate." She mumbled in exasperation. "You will not be a happy puppy if I fall on you. I mean it, move!"
She finally reached the bed, setting the plate on the bed and filling the coffee cups on the side table. Crawling into bed, she settled next to him, positioned the plate between their reclined bodies and reached for a cup of coffee and a sweet roll. Hayate sat by the bed giving Roy pitiful puppy eyes, hoping he could be convinced to give him something.
"Eat, sir," she said, holding the roll up to his lips.
Turning his attention from the begging puppy, he looked at her roll without taking a bite. "What did I tell you about calling me sir?"
"Not to do it," she said sullenly, like a child who knows better yet continues to do exactly what she'd been told not to.
"Call me Roy when we're alone." He smiled and took a bite of her roll, chewing thoughtfully before swallowing it.
"Hmmm," she said as she raised the roll to her mouth. "I would have thought you might like being called sir, especially during sex."
"I guess it depends on how dirty you can make it sound…" he said with a smirk.
"I'll work on it. I may need some practice though."
"That can be arranged, lieutenant."
"Food first," she said and held the roll up again.
He happily took another bite and reached for his a cup of coffee. "I just don't understand why you still want me." He asked. "I did such thoughtless and cruel things to you. You should have someone who can love you. Someone you can have something more than just sex with, someone with whom you don't have to hide your relationship. Someone you can get married to and have kids with."
"But you love me, right?" she asked. He nodded. "I don't want those things if they aren't with you, Roy, and hiding doesn't bother me. Someday we'll be able to do whatever we want in front of anyone we want, I know it." She reached over to stroke his cheek gently, his light stubble prickly on the pads of her fingers.
"Well… we don't have to hide as much as you might think. Havoc knows; he's actually the one who really pushed me to tell you. He also implied the others in the office know why things have been strained between us recently."
Riza wasn't terribly surprised; they were all in that office everyday and none of them were unobservant idiots. "So why did you allow me to think you only wanted me for sex?"
He bowed his head, staring into his coffee cup, suddenly hesitant to meet her eyes. "I didn't know you if you loved me. You do, don't you?" He looked up uncertainly.
"Of course I do, you idiot." She smiled at him, a full smile, one that reached her sparkling eyes.
"Hughes always said you did. I thought he was imagining things."
"That doesn't explain why you didn't tell me the truth."
"There were a number of reasons." He sighed, taking another sip of coffee. "You're a target by just working with me. If anyone knew how important you are to me, you'll be the first thing they go for to get to me."
"That's not a very good reason. I'd rather be a target than not be with you. You said there were more reasons?" she took another roll for herself and offered him the last one on the plate.
"I didn't think you could love me." he licked a little caramel from his finger. "You're one of the few people who know me for what I am and if I told you I love you and you called me a complete idiot for thinking you could ever love me in return, I…" his voice trailed off. "I guess I was afraid. I haven't told a woman I love her since I was five years old and I didn't think I could take it if you shot me down. Literally or figuratively."
"You're still an idiot, but not for that reason."
"Riza, you know every terrible thing I've done; you've seen me at my worst. How could I hope for you to love me knowing all that? Besides, I wanted you to have a happy life. I don't know if I can offer you that. A safe life with a family."
"Who says I still can't?"
"With me?"
"If you want." She looked up at him with slight hesitation.
"Oh yes, I want, but my life isn't meant to have a happy ending. I hurt you. I haven't done anything to deserve you." he turned to place the empty coffee cup on the table.
"Deserve me?" she sighed in exasperation. Roy had always hated himself for what had happened in Ishbal, and while he was generally able to keep it in check for outsiders, every now and then those feelings of inadequacy would overwhelm him. Especially when he had nightmares about the war. Sometimes when it was really bad, it would take both Riza and Hughes to knock him out of those melancholy moods. Now she only hoped she was strong enough to do it alone.
"Roy, you're a good man. Like any other person you've done good things and you've done bad things. But it's the good things you've done since Ishbal that count." She handed him her empty cup and he placed it on the side table next to his. "Just look at the Elrics; I know what you're trying to do with Ed. I see a lot of you in him and I trust you know how to help him to learn what he needs to know to keep himself and Al alive, and learn it as easily and quickly as possible. You're a good man and you have a good heart and you deserve some happiness too. And we'll succeed in our goal, we will make a change. So until you're Führer, we'll enjoy being together in secret. I only want you. I love you. As long as I have you and Black Hayate, I'll be happy."
"But I've done so many bad things. I've killed more people than the average man has ever met. I have blood on my hands that can never be removed."
"So do I; as soldiers, we all do. Its part of the life we've all chosen but it doesn't mean you can't have some moments of happiness. Please," with a single finger under the chin, she turned his face to look at her again. "For me."
She had a pleading look on her face that turned into a smile when he nodded. "I can try. It just seems too good to be true." She raised her hand to stroke his cheek again, her palm sliding down his face until her thumb rested on his lips.
"Sometimes it isn't a matter of deserving love; it's accepting it when it's offered." She leaned over and gave him a quick kiss before swirled the last bite of her roll in the caramel remaining on the plate and popping it into her mouth.
"Mmmmm…" He gave her a suspicious smirk.
"Roy… what are you thinking?" she asked, immediately wary.
"This," he pushed her over so she was lying on her back. Running his finger over the plate, he gathered some of the still warm caramel and held it over her chest, allowing the sticky liquid to drip over her bare skin.
"Ahhh," she sighed, understanding his intentions. He scooped more from the plate and dragged his fingers over her skin, leaving caramel trails over her stomach and back up to her breasts. "Roy, I'm going to be all sticky now."
"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem for very long." He said. He raised his hand to her mouth, offering his sticky fingers to her. Parting her lips, she grasped his hand with hers and pulled his first two fingers into her mouth, sucking at them softly while her tongue took strong sure strokes around the digits. "Mmmm… that feels good. How did you get so good with your mouth?"
Pulling his hand away from her mouth, she released his fingers with a last quick lick. "You aren't the first man I've been with…" she said softly.
Roy's eyebrow rose. "Well, I kind of figured that, but who was he?"
"It's not important."
"Do I know him?"
"Why? Are you jealous?"
"Depends on if I know him or not."
"It was Havoc." She gave him a mischievous grin.
"What?! I'll kill him."
Her warm laugh filled the room. "I was joking! Just teasing you. It wasn't Havoc and you probably didn't even know the guy. He was a civilian."
"Better not have been Havoc or I'll have to go kill him when I'm well for taking advantage of my woman." He said grumpily.
"Your woman? So I'm a possession?"
"Yep. Mine. All mine." He growled, looking up at her face, a deep hunger blazing in his expressive black eyes. She swallowed hard, trying to rid herself of the lump that had appeared in her throat.
"I – I think I can live with that," she said hoarsely. She had been thinking about that just the night before, how she wouldn't mind being his as long as he was hers. "As long as you're mine, too."
"Of course," he replied, moving up to kiss her lips.
"Now would you start licking this caramel off me?" she whispered into his mouth.
"And I think I can handle that." His head dipped down to lick at the sweet liquid trailing between her breasts, enjoying the sound of her soft sighs. The combination of the caramel and the sweet taste of her skin was something he wouldn't soon forget. He followed the sticky line down to her belly button, quickly dipping the hard tip of his tongue into the divot of her flesh, twisting and turning to get every bit of the caramel from it. Her hands reached down to run through his hair, gripping his head and guiding his mouth over her skin.
He could feel the muscles of her stomach tensing and relaxing under his ministrations, her hands slowly leading his mouth up to her breasts, still covered in the sweet liquid. Changing techniques, he used his teeth to scrape the caramel from her body. Nipping and tugging at the soft flesh of her breast, he bit down just a bit harder with her whimpers.
"Oh… Roy," she said softly. "That feels so good…" Her body arched toward him while she continued to hold his head close, his tongue still licking at her skin. She whimpered when he finally closed his mouth around her nipple and sucked, drawing as much of her into his mouth as possible, scraping her with his teeth.
And then he bit down.
She cried his name in pleasure as her head tipped back, her spine arching until he thought her back would break. He felt himself get even harder with her scream, her sudden strength holding his body close to hers.
Her hands squeezed his head tight as the wonderful spike of pain ran through her body, directly to her clit, holding him so he couldn't pull his mouth away from her skin. She'd never felt such an incredible and uncontrollable force flow through her; it was as if her body was no longer responding to her wishes, it was merely reacting on its own to his touch, her muscles automatically contracting to push herself toward him, offering more of her skin to his teeth. And it felt so good.
Strange, she had never been much of one for pain during sex, but this was different – he was different. It just felt so amazing! She ached for more with his next bite. His teeth and mouth would leave marks all over her body, she already had a few from last night, but she welcomed them. Every bruise, every tender spot would remind her of him, that he had marked her as his. That he wanted her to be his alone and remind her he was the one who could make her feel this good.
Releasing her, he bathed the tooth-marked skin with his tongue, soothing the tender flesh. One breast clean, he turned to the other, biting and scraping, sucking and lapping at it in turn until he had the last drop of caramel off her skin. He took one last nip at the underside of her breast, earning another whimper of pleasure.
He couldn't help but smirk at her favorable reactions. Personally, he'd always enjoyed a little bit of pain, it brought him to a heightened sense of awareness, reminding him that he was still alive but his reaction tended to be something his partners didn't share. Due to the unfavorable reaction, he had rarely tried anything like that with the women he'd had sex with and the fact Riza was enjoying this only turned him on all the more.
She really was perfect, his perfect match. Everything he had dreamed of and more. And she said she loved him – she had come back this morning. He should have never doubted her. She had been with him every step of the past 8 years, helping and supporting him, and now that she knew her love was returned, she would never leave him. If there is a god, please don't take her away from him.
He pulled himself up beside her, far enough to kiss her lips, his hand slipping down between her legs. She moaned again, rubbing herself against his hand. She was absolutely soaking, her silky folds swollen and ready for him. She really had been turned on by his bites.
His tongue gently pushed into her mouth, the combined taste of him, the caramel and the coffee teasing her taste buds. He always tasted so good! Every movement revealed his emotions, the strokes of his tongue against hers, gliding across her hard palate and her teeth.
Then her concentration moved to his hands, his fingers stroking her gently, brushing ever so lightly over her clit. She couldn't help but whimper as two fingers slipped into her body, stretching and twisting and pulling, her hips rocking to draw him deeper.
Her own hands slid down over his body, fingernails scraping down his back, stopping only briefly to squeeze his ass. As good as he had looked walking naked down the hallway back to the bedroom, giving her a nice view of his backside along the way, feeling him in her hands was ten times better. With each squeeze, his teeth closed on her tongue, hard enough to hurt but not enough to not break skin.
Her hand slid over his hip, coming around to squeeze his cock. The minute she touched him, he released her mouth to let out a groan, a sound that grew louder as she stroked him with a firm hand. It turned to a hoarse cry when she used her fingernails lightly.
"Riza! Stop it, I'm going to come if you keep doing that!" His voice was slightly shaky as he tried to control the growing desire. She gave a small disappointed sound and relaxed her hand, releasing him. He sighed in relief before bending his head to nuzzle at her collarbone.
"Riza, will you turn over onto your stomach for me?" He asked softly, raising his head to look into her face. Her soft smile never wavered as she rolled over, turning her head to keep her eyes locked with hers. There was no hesitation or questioning looks on her face, she trusted him completely. He reached up to stroke her cheek as she gave him a kiss. "I want fuck you from behind…" he whispered into her mouth.
A shiver ran up her spine, arousing her even more by his words. Placing small quick kisses along his jaw, she worked her way up his neck. It was his turn to shiver as her hot breath whispered in his ear, "You know, I really love it when you talk dirty." She lowered her mouth to bite his shoulder. A sharp intake of breath followed by a moan of pleasure told her he didn't mind when she played rough too. "I need you, Roy, I want you inside me," she whispered desperately.
"Anything you want…"
She raised herself to her hands and knees and moved further up on the bed, waiting for him. Positioning himself behind her, his hands slid down her sides, over the soft curves of her hips and her smooth skin. He could do this for now, touch her and stroke her and kiss every part of her and he never wanted to stop. He didn't want to be apart from her, he wanted to keep her close forever. For a short time, they could be together, she could care for him in his home under the guise of a concerned friend and assistant.
That would change when he was well, everything they did would be scrutinized, they would be watched and all their time would need to be accounted for. Their entire time in the office would need to be apart, interrupted perhaps by the casual brush of their hands when exchanging paperwork. But for now, for a brief moment, they could stay here in bed together, touching and holding each other as much as possible.
Leaning over he placed a kiss on the lowest symbol on her back. He would try to see the scars the way she did. When she showed him this secret so many years ago, she had placed her trust in him and trust was something that held them together. Even when apart, they had something to keep them together; for her the marks on her back and for him the wounds on his stomach inflicted by that homunculus. It was the pain he had had to overcome to save her from that creature that would remind him how important she was and how, like her, he didn't want to live if the she died. But he had saved her and she was alive, on her knees and naked before him, legs parted, hips thrust back, her pussy dripping wet with her juices and ready for his cock.
Holding her by the hips, he pushed himself into her, sighing at how tight and warm she was. She whimpered softly at his intrusion, wriggled her hips, her body stretching to accommodate him. He was just so hard and strong, filling her completely, making her feel whole like no one else could.
"Ahhh, you feel so good..." She groaned. Pulling back slightly, he forced himself back into her, her hips pushing back against him. Reaching under her, he caressed her breasts, rolling their weight gently in his hand, tugging at a nipple while his other hand stroked her ass. Sliding his hand lower, he encountered the tender skin where they were joined, her skin stretched tightly around him, the point where his cock was thrusting into her pussy and his balls were slapping against her clit, each motion drawing a soft sound of pleasure from her.
"Harder, Roy. Please…" He could barely hear her over the pounding in his ears from the blood rushing through his veins. She was so sweet and so tight, begging for him to fuck her harder. He happily complied, watching as she fell to her elbows to hold her ground, steadying herself for his thrusts. God she was beautiful like this, her hair falling over her shoulders, showing the symbols burned into her back down to the gentle flair of her hips. Maybe he could learn not to hate those symbols as much as he once had. He slid his hand further up between her legs, brushing lightly across her clit.
"Roy…" she sobbed between harsh breaths. "More… Oh, Roy…" He couldn't help but smirk as she called his name. It was a rush, something he loved hearing from her lips, he loved listening to her as she called his name with her beautiful voice, breathy and needy and begging for more. He could listen to her forever.
"Roy," she begged. "Just fuck me as hard as you can!"
This time he caught the little nub of flesh between his fingers, rubbing hard and sure, and she came, her body responding violently, bucking against his. Her body tightened around him, squeezing and clutching at him, massaging him. He could feel himself getting closer as he continued thrusting into her, the rippling of her tight muscles surrounding him left him yearning for more. With one last brush of his hand, he moved his hand further up until he could place a flat palm on her lower belly, enjoying the feeling of her stomach muscles contracting under his hand. His release was minutes, no, merely seconds away.
Then he was exploding inside her, his body shuddering uncontrollably and a guttural groan coming from his throat. With a last strong thrust, he collapsed over her, her body supporting him until she finally lowered herself to the mattress with his added weight, her body still clenching around him with her aftershocks. After a moment she tipped him off to her side and with a quick turn, she had him in her arms, his head resting on her shoulder.
"I love you Riza." He whispered into her soft skin. "I love you so much it hurts."
"I think it hurts because you're not healed yet."
"Nope. I'm pretty sure it's because I love you." She couldn't help but notice how easily his words slipped from his lips, and how good it sounded coming from him. Those words had to be the sweetest ones in the entire language.
"I love you too," she said, placing a kiss on the top of his head. "And I'm never going to get tired of hearing you saying such things."
"Good, because I intend to say it quite often."
"Just not in public. There are regulations about this," she said sadly.
"I know."
"And there are reasons for those regulations."
"I know that too," he said tilting his head up to look at her.
"We aren't above those regulations; as members of the military we abide by them and we obey our orders."
"Alchemists are different," he mumbled.
"But not above the rules."
"Some of them are."
"Fine, maybe as an alchemist you are, but I'm not."
"What if I order you to have sex with me?"
She ignored his question, deeming it unworthy of being answered. "You really aren't above the law either. Anything you do from now on will be scrutinized and examined, every action searched for any misconduct on your part."
"Riza, we can verbally deny our relationship until we're blue in the face. We could even pretend we don't love each other but it doesn't change the fact that I care more for you than I should.
But even if none of this ever happened, and I tried to forget, I would still love you and it would influence any decision I made. I will try not to let my emotions change things, but subconsciously, they might. Just because it's against the rules, no one can stop me from loving you."
They both lay in silence for a little while, just enjoying the feeling of their bodies touching in such an intimate manner.
"So even if we'd never kissed, we would still love each other and it would influence our choices regardless if we had consummated out relationship."
"Yes."
"And just because we are physically intimate, it wouldn't necessarily change our behaviors from when we were apart and denying our emotions. Nice piece of rationalization." She smiled.
"Its not rationalization if it's the truth. I'm not willing to be apart from you. I can't take the thought of losing you when I just found you." With his arms wrapped around her, he squeezed her tighter and kissed her neck. "I can't look at you every day and know I can never hold you in my arms again. I need you Riza."
"I need you too, Roy." Silence again blanketed the room and the only movements were caused by their breathing. "We're going to have to come to an agreement over what's acceptable in public."
"I'm afraid nothing is acceptable in public."
"How about the office? You said Havoc and the men know?"
"Mmm-hmm." He replied lazily, his eyes still closed. It was nice curled up next to her. He had never been a man comfortable with cuddling after sex, but then again, none of those women had been Riza.
"We can trust them with our secret, right?"
"You'd trust any of them with your life, right?" She nodded and he continued speaking. "Then you can trust them with our secret. I bet they would be willing to overlook a kiss now and then."
"That doesn't mean we can be careless."
"Of course not, but I do believe I would get more paperwork done if I had a little incentive."
"What kind of incentive?" she asked warily.
"Well, it's hard enough to concentrate with you in the office. How will I be able to do any work when all I can think of is you? You on the couch, in my chair, on my desk, up against the wall…" he smirked.
"Incorrigible."
"Of course, but you love me anyway. Certainly we could find a way to work out some sort of reward system." He paused and smirked up at her. "What would you be willing to give me for doing all of my paperwork?"
"Seeing as the odds of you actually catching up with all of your paper work is zero, let's say I'll do whatever you want for a full day."
"Whatever I want? Including the night?"
"Mmmmm-hmmm."
"Even if it's a little kinky?"
"Probably. But I have my limits."
"I was hoping that would be the reward for completing just one report."
"Humph," she sniffed. "That's a little too high; I'd never get any sleep."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"How about a kiss per report?"
"That's all?"
"If you play your cards right, that kiss might lead somewhere."
"I suppose it will do. For now." He turned his head and kissed her chest again. "You're still sticky," he stated.
"And whose fault is that?"
"Mine." He said like a rebuked child. "You know a nice warm shower would take that right off."
"No showers for you, your bandages will get wet."
"Does that mean I get a sponge bath?"
"Depends on how good you are while I shower."
"At least let me watch you."
"I suppose we can do that …" she said rising from the bed and leading him toward the bathroom. "But no touching or getting in with me."
"Can I at least tell you where to touch yourself?"
She turned and gave him a mischievous smile. He couldn't help but return her grin and in the next second, he was the one pulling her toward the bathroom.
Once the sun had gone down, on the street outside, a figure in the shadows stood watching Mustang's building.
"Heard everything you needed to?" the man asked.
"More than enough." A disembodied voice hissed from the shadows. "You were right; I believe we have discovered Mustang's weakness..."
Author's note: All right, I'm leaving it at that. I'm not terribly pleased with the last lemon, but I'll fix it in the next edit. The idea is now that after reading this, one could slip seamlessly back into the manga (approx...) without having had any of the canon events altered. I've been thinking of this story as an unseen side story. And yes, I'm implying that this little affair is how Pride and Wrath discovered Riza would be the best hostage – as if one couldn't tell just by watching the pair.
And ending it here has its advantages. Frankly, because I have a dirty mind, I would have loved to throw a few more smut scenes in, but for the sake of FF(dot)net, I decided not to. I'm willing to bend the rules a bit further than usual for this story because it started as a clean one-shot that was hijacked by smutbunnies and I just followed where they lead. But outright and intentional annihilation of FF(dot)net's rules is not something I really want to do. So, here's my plan: every now and then I just feel the need to write a lemon with a bit of angst (who am i kidding, that's about all I do), and I enjoy writing for this pairing, so I'll pick a few places in the manga where I think there should be a lemon and I'll write it as a separate one-shot. These I'll post as oneshots acknowledging this story as previous events for those fics on my LJ account, mediaminer, and any other place that doesn't mind me posting smut. Because of explicitness, this intentionally leaves out FF(dot)net. If you only read my stuff from FF(dot)net and don't want to check out other websites for these smut scenes, send me your email address and I'll email you a link when I post any new lemons I write from this storyline. I'm willing to take scene suggestions, too.
And now I can start reading other people's FMA fics again! I found if I read fics in the same fandom as I'm writing, I tend to pick up phrasing and ideas from those fics and then I don't write with my own style, as unpolished as it is. It's entirely possible I could take a really good phrase I read and unintentionally put it in my story. If I'm reading another fandom, the odds of that happening and someone noticing are lower. I don't endorse plagiarism and if I do borrow a phrase, I didn't do it intentionally. My goal is now to read at least one fic by each reviewer.
Now for the questions – please review and answer one or two, these are specific questions I have about my writing because I really do want to improve:
- So was the second foreplay/oral/lemon too long? too detailed?
- I actually tried to write angst here (i usually don't try, it just shows up). Was it enough? Too much?
- Characterization. I usually try to write Riza as a stronger character than in this one. Did I capture their characters – any specific places that stand out as either good or bad?
- I tend to change perspectives from paragraph to paragraph (sometimes sentence to sentence), switching from first to third and back, especially during the lemons. Does this distract from the scenes?
Like all my fics, I'll leave this alone for a few weeks or months and come back for a final edit. Thanks for taking the time to read this, a bigger thank you to everyone who took the time and made the effort to review and please, will you leave me one last message to know how I did and can improve? (sorry for the long a/n)