Author's Notes: This is the opening salvo for what will ultimately be a large work. The basic thought that got me started after my rotten daughter got me hooked on InuYasha was "Man, his kids would be a pistol to raise." My second thought was "That sounds like fun" and I was off. First, of course, you have to set the stage. So bear with me for a few chapters while I get everyone set in place...

Chapter 1 - Choices

Mama knocked on the door to Kagome's room and peeked in. "May I come in?" she inquired.

"Oh, hi, Mama," Kagome replied, finishing writing with a flourish and closing her books. "I'm just finishing. Wow, I can hardly believe it! One more set of finals and I'm done for good!" It was a marvelous feeling to not have school hanging over her head any more; high school was finally winding down to its end.

Mama entered the room and settled herself on Kagome's bed. "Yes," she sighed. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. You don't seem to have any plans for what you're going to do after graduation. You haven't applied to any colleges and you haven't been looking for a job."

Kagome sat silently, looking at the floor. It was true. She hadn't done anything a person usually does to prepare for life after school.

Her mother continued, "It's InuYasha isn't it? He's here quite often."

"Mama, he's lonely," Kagome replied, "He doesn't have many friends and he's at loose ends right now."

Mama looked directly at her daughter. "Kagome, I'm not blind. There's more to it than that, isn't there? He lights up as soon as he knows you're here. For all that you spend half your time squabbling with him, you glow when he's around and spend the rest of the time watching and listening for his arrival."

Kagome looked out her window. Was it that obvious? She had tried to be circumspect, especially since, even after all this time, she really wasn't sure where she sat in InuYasha's world. He was here all the time, he was jealous about being the only man in her life, but then ... nothing. He had yet to make any move more romantic than the quick hug now and then.

Mama waited a moment for Kagome to comment, then asked "What's going on? Is he waiting for you or are you waiting for him?"

Kagome closed her eyes as she gathered her thoughts. "I wish I knew. In some ways he's so different from us."

"Tell me about it," Mama said.

"It's awfully complicated, Mama."

"I have time. Please tell me." For all that Mama spoke quietly, this was a command, not a request.

Kagome drew in a shaking breath and looked at the ceiling. Where should she begin? InuYasha was a half-demon, a hanyou. He generally looked like a stripling boy of somewhat over medium height who was just starting to fill out, but there were some telling differences. He had claws, not fingernails, rather larger fangs than humans, a luxuriant mane of silver-white hair, amber gold eyes with slit pupils and pricked dog's ears perched on top of his head. If he wasn't immortal, he was at least very long lived. He carried a sword with him at all times, a legacy of his father. Though the sword normally looked like a battered old relic, handled correctly by the right person, it had awesome powers to command.

"You already know what he is. He's a hanyou, his mother was human and his father was a dog demon, so he's kind of stuck between two worlds. He's not quite human and not completely demonic. Sometimes he's hard to figure because of that. Is he acting from a human or a doggish impulse? I'm not sure if he wants to be near me because he wants me as a lover or as a dog's special person.

"Life hasn't been kind to him. He never really knew his father; he died when InuYasha was very little. His mother died too when he was just a child and he's been on his own since then, living in the forest as best he can.

"He fell in love once with a priestess and it turned tragic. A jealous dying bandit sold his soul to demons to gain new life, then he tricked InuYasha and Kikyo into betraying each other. Kikyo sealed InuYasha to a tree, our sacred tree out in the shrine grounds in fact, and died soon afterward. That's where I found him fifty years later when I fell into the well the first time. He woke up shortly after I arrived and I unsealed him. He didn't want to have anything to do with me at first. I was too much like his priestess and he was still very hurt and angry over what had happened.

"We found out later it wasn't a coincidence that I was like her. It turns out I am her reincarnation. While he was getting used to that and working out the notion that while I had her soul, I was my own person with my own life and ideas, an ogress created a body of Kikyo's grave soil and ashes and resurrected her. I lost my soul for a little while, then it split. I got most of it back, but she kept enough to retain her thoughts, feelings and memories.

"InuYasha had never really fallen out of love with Kikyo. He was still as tied to her as ever, even though he was falling in love with me. I finally figured out that there was no way I could win a tug-of-war for him; I conceded my claim to him in exchange for being allowed to stay on as his friend. It ... hurt. It was all I could manage to bear seeing them together.

"That didn't happen too often; Kikyo preferred to work alone. I think deep down, at the bottom of her heart, she knew her time had passed, but we were working toward the same goal and our paths crossed at times.

"She eventually died again, as good a death as could be had, in InuYasha's arms, and ascended to Heaven, her soul finally at peace. InuYasha was devastated. It took quite a while for him to pull himself together.

"We finished the job; destroyed Naraku and dealt with the Shikon jewel. Miroku and Sango have since married; I came back here to finish school and figure out what I should do. InuYasha and Shippo are living in the forest.

"And, now, I don't know what. It's been ... years. He keeps visiting, wants my company, but never moves it along. Does he just want a friend? Is he afraid to go for it? Is he afraid for me or has his heart had all the pain it can handle? Things go wrong for him so much. He may be afraid if he gets closer, I'll be hurt or killed. He's pushed me away before trying to protect me. Or maybe, being a demon, he just doesn't realize how much time has passed."

Mama had listened quietly to this recital. Now she looked seriously at her daughter and said, "Kagome, you can't wait your whole life for something that may never happen. At some point you have to move. You have to choose and go on. And you should do it soon, before you no longer have a life to live. It's been years you said."

Kagome sighed. Her mother's points were inescapable, but it was still going to be very hard to push InuYasha. "I'll talk to InuYasha, Mama. I promise."

InuYasha typically visited Kagome every two to three days. This time, now that she had to talk to him seriously and was straining to screw up her nerves for it, he was gone for ten days. Kagome had gone from mildly surprised to somewhat worried to outright terrified. When he finally did blow in, her nerves had been stretched to the snapping point. She could barely contain her fury at his having scared her so badly.

It didn't help that, now that he was here, he was in a downright foul mood. He had greeted her by stomping into her room and slamming the books she had loaned him onto her desk with a resounding whack, bellowing "This is stupid! I don't know why I'm bothering!", then flopping onto her bed and glaring at her with his ears laid back flat against his head.

Ears ringing, Kagome bit back the snapping response she wanted to fling back. Instead, she took a deep breath, held it for a count of five, then asked as calmly as she could, "What's stupid?" It still sounded shaky.

"That!" he said, jabbing a finger at the books.

She counted to five again. "Why?"

He evaded her glance, looking sullenly out the window. "It just is."

"Are you stuck?" she asked. He shook his head and continued to stare out the window. Kagome wrinkled her nose and thought. After one excruciatingly embarrassing incident where it had come out that InuYasha was illiterate, she had been teaching him the basics of reading, writing and math. He was generally cooperative, after all it made an excuse to visit, but he did get temperamental when frustrated. Sometimes she needed to beguile it out of him.

Another deep breath, ... three, four, five. "So, show me where things look funny, and we'll..."

"I said I'm not stuck!" he snapped.

"So what is your problem?!" she snarled back, her composure shot to hell.

He looked briefly taken aback at her ferocity, then ramped up for a full-scale brawl.

By the time they were bellowed out, they had called each other every name in the book and flung several wild accusations back and forth, each scoring several stinging blows on the other's psyche. InuYasha was sulking thirty feet up in the Sacred Tree while Kagome licked her wounds in the bathtub inside.

Great. Wonderful. That was brilliant. Just the way to open a discussion about the rest of her life. She was at least as angry at herself as she was annoyed with him. She sank down into the tub until just her eyes and nose were out of the steaming water. How was she going to salvage this one? After a blowup like that, she doubted he'd come out of the tree for at least three days. She was going to have to apologize; she wondered if he was ready to listen to it. It took him a long time to spin down from a fight. She sighed, blowing some bubbles into the water. Maybe if she put together a peace offering, some of his favorite foods...

Mama stepped out of the house for a moment to check on InuYasha. That had been quite some row he and her daughter had had. There had been a rather desperate edge to his voice during the fight. Something was disturbing him deeply, though what it was had not come out in the fight.

Mama liked InuYasha. The boy meant well for all that chaos seemed to blossom around him. He didn't know the first thing about modern times and had some strange notions about how the world worked, but he was obviously devoted to Kagome and he tried so hard.

She studied him for a few minutes as he sat in the tree. He looked down at her for a moment then resumed his brooding without comment. He looked utterly miserable.

InuYasha's temper had cooled quite a while ago. That fight had been more a venting of pent-up anxiety than a real battle. He had smelled Kagome's tension the instant he had walked in the room and it had set off his own overwrought nerves. He tried to shake out his ears, release the strain that was starting to give him a headache, but they refused to cooperate, remaining plastered miserably against his head.

He'd been seeing it coming for a while now. It always started the same way, with his new friend's parent studying him from a distance. Mama had been watching him lately. It was the first step in a dance he knew all too well.

A door opened at the house down below and Kagome came out with a plate of food. The smell of teriyaki drifted up to him, one of his favorites. His stomach lurched; the second step of the dance was playing out below him, the appeasing of his spirit. After he accepted the gift came the third step, where he was told gently but firmly it was time to move on.

He hunched up even tighter. He didn't want this, not now, not this time. Maybe he could stay in the tree forever.

"InuYasha?" Kagome called, peering up at him as he sat on his branch. He steadfastly ignored her, only an uncontrolled twitch of his ear showed he had heard anything.

"Would you please come down?" No. No. No. He shifted slightly, nerves winding up again, but still he ignored her, refusing to look.

"Look, I'm sorry I yelled at you like that. Can we talk?" Her voice quavered a bit as she called up. He held himself firm, though he was shaking.

"It's really hard to talk with you way up there. Come down. Please." She was starting to sound a little annoyed. His ear twitched again of its own accord. He still refused to acknowledge her.

"Why you stubborn...," Kagome muttered, then called, "Do I have to make you?"

He looked down quickly, startled. She wouldn't! She had that set look in her eye, the one that said 'don't mess with me'. Yes, she would. He weighed whether or not he wanted to come whistling down due to her invoking the spell on the prayer beads bound around his neck, just for the sake of delaying this a few more seconds. That would be a hell of a thing to remember her by. Reluctantly, he gave in, slipping his leg over the branch and dropping down to land beside her. They just stared at each other for the longest time, lost in their thoughts. Then they sat down beside each other on a rock wall near the Sacred Tree.

Some time later, they had fumbled their way through apologies, but little else. InuYasha glanced at Kagome who was still sitting on the wall beside him, the plate of food between them untouched. She had been silent for a long time and was no longer looking at the Sacred Tree; her gaze was locked on something invisible and very far away. He had had enough of waiting; it was best to just get this over with.

"Kagome, you can just say it. I've heard it before."

She blinked and started, then looked at him, startled. "Huh?"

"On second thought, maybe I'll just shove off without hearing it. You can keep the food; I'm not going to do anything to you or your family, but I'm not really hungry right now." His stomach growled its protest to that statement, but he ignored it, slid off the wall and started walking quickly toward the well house.

"W..Wait! What are you talking about?" He heard her land on the ground and start her pursuit; he picked up his pace a bit.

He heard her speed up to a run to catch him and spun around, snarling, "You don't have to pretend! I know how it works. Your family has decided it's best if I weren't around, so I'm going, all right? I just don't want to hear that bullshit right now."

She pulled up short, looking dumbfounded. "Wh .. What?"

He took the opportunity to bolt for the well house. He had nearly reached the door when he heard a sharp cry of "Sit!" He went crashing to the ground at the threshold, pulled down by the prayer beads around his neck. A moment later, Kagome was sitting on his back, with a knee on his neck.

"We're going to talk," she said grimly. "And it's not what you think it's about."

"I have to make some choices pretty soon. I need to know what's up with us. We've been hanging around sitting on a wall for a long time, doing nothing. But I'm running out of time to wait."

They were back on the rock wall, the plate between them. InuYasha had started nibbling at the offering and Kagome had helped herself to a piece or two also. She looked at the ground beneath her feet and sighed. "I'm not immortal, InuYasha. I have to live my life now while it's still here. I'm 18 now, nearly 19. It's time for me to choose what I'm going to do. Do I go with you or do I end it now and stay here?"

Either come in or go out; you can't stand in the doorway all day. That was how Mama put it when she was scolding Buyo for standing too long at the door. So, Mama was different from all the rest. She said he could come in; just don't stand in the door. He could be a part of Kagome's life, but only if we went the distance.

He was completely unprepared for this. His mind seemed to have frozen, he was ringing so hard from the shock of not hearing what he had been dreading so much.

Kagome waited a while for him to respond, but still he could not summon a coherent thought. Finally, she looked at him, worried.

"So, what are you thinking?" she asked softly.

"I... I don't know. I've never even considered anything like this." He rubbed a hand over his face, trying to get his mind to work, to look at the new possibilities.

"What?!" Kagome was starting to look pissed.

"Wait! No, wait! That came out wrong. I... I've never been able to consider this before. Any time I ever had a friend before, the village would throw me out just as soon as they knew. So... I... I've just been trying to not get thrown out. Kikyo... Well, there was just her and her sister. And she was the priestess. But still, I always met her in the forest. And even then...," he trailed off. He didn't need to finish the thought, Kagome knew the rest.

"Can I have a little time to think? I... like I said, I never even thought it possible." He looked at her beseechingly, begging for a chance to reorient himself around the new possibilities.

Kagome studied him quizzically, then nodded. "OK. I have some time, maybe a month. But then, I need to know what's going on."

"It won't be easy," he warned her. "People don't like it when women take up with demons. And I'm not even a full demon. I'm a hanyou bastard, which is even worse. If you come with me, you'll be an outcast..."

"Are you telling me to go?" she asked.

"No!" he whispered vehemently. "I couldn't bear it."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. Stay with me somehow."

"Stay with you how?" she whispered. "As a friend? A lover? Maybe your wife? The longer I'm with you, the harder it will be to start again here. At some point, I won't be able to."

"I..I...need some time to figure it out." It was all the answer he had.

"Like I said, I have a few weeks. Think about it, then we'll talk."

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