A deeper meaning
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, it belongs to CLAMP, along with many other fantastic works I wish to own.
AN: Wow, I'm back with a card captor sakura one-shot! It took me, what, 15 minutes to write this? Pretty much just posting this to prove that I'm still alive and kicking. This may not be as good, and might be a little OOC, but please bear with it. I wanted to go into their relationships a bit deeper after the 2nd movie, and this was the perfect way to do that. I hope you all enjoy this story even though it is not one of my best work
It was so scary sometimes. Just to look into his fading eyes, to see his hurting face, to imagine them in her head made Sakura go crazy. Of course, ever since he returned to Tomoeda for every summer with Meiling. It wasn't truly awkward. He was still her friend. Just thinking of beyond that line made her head hurt and her magic wild. Emotions were everything. Syaoran was always her everything. She would've really regretted it if she had been mean to him from the start. It wouldn't have built up their wonderful friendship, but it also wouldn't have led her to this point where there was no going back in time, no winding of events, nothing that would make her heart stop aching. Maybe she could've turned back in time with her magic, but then she would've never forgave herself.
It's been a year. She said to herself over and over again. Since she had said 'I love you!' to Syaoran, she thought everything would stop. Everything would be wonderful, magical, just as she dreamed of her life with Yukito a few years back. But it hasn't been so easy. Right after she leaped and he caught her, he told her things that made her feel weak and drowsy, but he made sure she didn't faint.
"I need you to hear this. Sakura." His voice was so stern back then it felt like heart break already.
"I need to go back. I can't stay here. It's not my home."
She was always a bit unsure of her feelings. Perhaps that was why she didn't reply right away. He came from another country. Sure, of the same continent, but still far away in which her magic could not take her. And her life was in Japan, his was in China. No amount of love would change that, she was sure. It would hurt him, it would hurt her. But yet she still blurted out her heart's true desire. It was of a deeper meaning that what Sakura expected love was.
Love was great. That's what she first thought. Every time she looked into Yukito's smile, his face, everything about him made her feel like she had butterflies in her stomach. Made her blush madly and succeed in everything she ever needed to as long as she thought he was watching her. But that was simply dust in the wind, gone away now, he was her guardian, her friend, not her lover.
Love was hypnotizing. She found it hard to stop staring at everything Syaoran did soon after. Every single move, glance, shout, scream, word, and even glare made her record it wildly in her mind, hoping to treasure it forever. Sometimes she thinks she lost her mind and everything around her at that moment. And wouldn't snap out of it by anyone BUT him.
Love was confusing. So confusing it took her a few days to sort out her own feelings towards another. It was supposed to be simple. I love you, you love me, and everyone's happy now. Sakura thought again. But it wasn't that way. Nothing was perfect, nothing worked out the way she always thought it would work out. It wasn't like he was her prince charming, taking her away to his castle far, far away to make her his princess, his queen, his life. Syaoran wasn't that devoted, was he?
Love was heartbreaking. One time you're in love, two words later, you're broken into pieces so tiny it was impossible to find all by yourself. Syaoran leaned down and got the pieces for her, all the tiny ones she failed to see. He helped her up from her broken dream and built a new one in less than a few weeks. But now, it's breaking again, after a year, it failed to continue to work its magic, because its builder wanted it to be gone forever.
Love was unpredictable. Who would've thought that she would fall for the guy who threatened to attack her, take her cards away just on the first day they met? Who would've expected her old crush to be her magical companion? Who would've ever imagined that love would take her this far into her mind to search for a simple answer. "I love you, or I love you not."
S yaoran sat there by the swing, fully in thought himself. Was it worth it to break it to her like that? She seems fine, but she isn't fine. There's something wrong with her. Although he pretended he didn't know to Meiling, he knew she knew, his expression showed everything to her like a simple picture book.
Sakura always thought you could make your dreams come true, by your own hands, your future was yours to build. Every single thing happened because she wanted it to, and it's always going to end up exactly the way you wanted it to. It haven't worked that way at all. She hated it. His sad glance on the ground, his feet barely leaving the sandy floors, his hair blowing faintly in the wind, his lips tightened into a frown, as though in confusion of what to say next. He hasn't said anything of course. She wouldn't have expected him to open his mouth in what now, 20 minutes?
Syaoran thought of life differently. He thought everything happened because fate determined it. Everything was one step slower than fate as it guides every life to its destiny. He thought that it was his destiny to hold the cards, fate betrayed him. He thought he was supposed to be Meiling's fiancé, fate betrayed him again, for the best this way, for he thought Sakura was his only one, and fate betrayed him once more, making words come out of his mouth so fluently, he thought he actually meant them. Did he? Can't he want to stay with Sakura? Mother never said anything about unable to be with her at all. It was all him. He gently looked up. Her emerald eyes staring straight up at the sky, her auburn hair brushing by her face as the wind blew by, and her lips were not smiling like they used to, her hands pulled tight to her chest.
"Sakura."
The girl looked up and spoke back softly. "Syaoran-kun."
"I'm sorry."
"Me too."
"You haven't done anything, it's my fault. I deserve to be this way. You deserve happiness."
Sakura found it hard to communicate without crying in the process. What was she supposed to say? I still love you and please come back to me against your own desires? No. She wasn't one to do such a thing to Syaoran.
"No. I have done plenty."
"Plenty good things."
"Define good."
Syaoran looked at Sakura, she was struggling to keep up with the casualty of the conversation and constantly almost going over the edge each time.
"Capturing the cards, making them your own, and…" Syaoran was unsure whether he could say it or not.
"…loving me."
Sakura blushed furiously. "Those are e-events, Syaoran-kun."
"Of course."
"Do you still?"
"What? I don't need to know the definition any,"
"No. Do you still love me?"
Sakura frowned lightly. "Pardon?"
"DO YOU STILL LOVE ME SAKURA KINOMOTO?" He asked again, louder and clearly this time, but at equal speed.
What was she supposed to say. The right thing and break his heart again? Or… She was desperate alright.
"YES!" It came so sudden she was unsure whether she wanted to say it or not. Did she? Of course! She felt this way.
She heard silence. Shyly and cowardly, she put her hands over her eyes and peeked through the hold through her fingers. Syaoran stood still, she stood still, time stood still.
"Thank you."
"W-what?" Sakura cried out, obviously surprised.
"Thank you, for saying so."
"B-But, I thought, y-you, I" Sakura struggled to keep the embarrassment level low and never succeed by keeping her face red as a ripe tomato and her emerald eyes looking more confused than ever.
"I can't stay here… Doesn't equal I don't love you."
"Then…"
"I do."
Sakura smiled again.
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"Certain?"
"Of course."
"Positive?"
"Yeah."
"Absolutely," Her words were cut off by a gentle kiss on her lips, making her slightly surprised at how sudden it happened, and wondering when did Syaoran get off the swing and close enough to do such a thing.
After the kiss broke. Syaoran simply grinned at her sweetly. "That's my way to make you stop talking so much about things you're sure of."
Sakura laughed sweetly and hugged him tight. "Promise?"
"Forever."
If you look at love from a distance, it's all romantic goodness. Kisses and hugs, holding hands while walking down the street, sharing noodles until you get the same one leading to a perfect lip lock, or laughing or dancing together, whispering "you're beautiful' into one another's ear. But looking closer, you can discover love isn't perfect. Nothing is. A deeper meaning's hidden inside, and it's not hard to discover. Not everyone's going to be loved by the perfect person, Sakura did, but she didn't find the perfect relationship.
But she loves him anyways.
He had found the perfect person, but he never found the perfect approval from his family.
But he loves her anyways.
She found the perfect love, but never discovered the mushy side of him.
But she loves him so much.
He found the perfect love, but never saw the sad depressed side of her more than once.
But he loves her so much.
Love comes in many different ways. A rivalry leading to love, and one that'll be everlasting whether it's long or short-distanced, it'll always be a moment to remember.
"Sakura?"
"Yeah…"
"I love you."
A slight giggle. "I love you too…"
And they discovered the deeper meaning behind love, which makes their bond, all the stronger.
AN: DID YOU ENJOY IT? If yes, please review and tell me what you thought of this. If not, tell me how to improve, in a review please! Thanks a ton!
-Sakura-Moonlight