What happens when you mix mass amounts of chocolate, 1,000,000 really corny jokes, 4 Bowling for Soup CDs, a super-awesome life-inspired plotline, and the characters of Naruto? Another really stupid story from Crick118! Woot!

Pairings (in order of importance): Naru/Ino, Sasu/Hina, Lee/Gaa, Shika/Ten

Warnings (once again, in order of importance): NO LEMONS!!! Many slash pairings, 1 minor yaoi sub-plot, mild Sakura-bashing, intense chocolate obsessions, multiple references to Bowling for Soup, Counting Crows, and any other band I feel like adding (mostly BFS though). Not your bar of chocolate? Well, I'm sure there are many different authors who have the flavor you'd like.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; but I am Mafia.

Chocoholic Has a Dream

"Ladies and gentlemen, I have a dream," the cafeteria groaned in unison, "A dream that one day, all chocolate will be created equal! That all of the world's chocoholics will be able to join together and instead of bicker over what type of chocolate is the best, and agree that all chocolate is good! Isn't that what we all want, after all? To be able to accept and yes, even maybe enjoy other people's preferences towards chocolate?"

There was silence (ignoring the cough, freak, cough in the back); I had their attention. Now it was time to go in for the kill.

"And that's why I ask you right now, at 12:30 in the afternoon on the 15th of February in the year two-thousand and five, to sign this petition so that the school doesn't get rid of our brownies. After all, don't we all deserve a little chocolate?"

"If we sign your petition, will you promise to shut up?" an anonymous male voice asked (sigh, yes the same one who had the bad cough).

"Yup!" Ah ha! Victory! I knew that if I told everybody that speech enough they'd cave! To think, it only took 17 times! I thought for sure it'd take 34.

"See guys? I told you the student body loved me!" I told my friends while skipping back to our table.

"Ino, they only signed your stupid petition so they wouldn't have to hear your annoying voice!" Naruto answered, clearly annoyed that I'd interrupted his 'wonderful' conversation with Sakura, wonderful meaning another pathetic attempt at wooing my best friend.

Here, let me re-enact what Naruto considers a 'wonderful' conversation:

Naruto: Hey Sakura!

Sakura: (flips hair in sexy manner) Oh, hi Naruto.

Naruto: You look pretty…(drools)

Sakura: Shove off, dumb ass.

Naruto: (ignoring previous statement) Sooo, I was kind of wondering if you wanted to do something after school today?

Sakura: (snorts) Given the choice between going on a date with you and making love to an iguana, I'd choose the iguana.

Naruto: So is that a yes?

(Poor guy, it's not his fault he's such an idiot!)

"Oh, why are all such spoil-sports?" I asked, flopping down onto an empty chair.

"Because you do this for every single obsession you've had, have, and may have in the near future!" Naruto answered for everyone.

"It's true Ino," Sakura chimed in.

"Oh yeah, give me one example!" I challenged.

"Well, for starters, this time,"

"Doesn't count."

"And we mustn't forget the time you petitioned for us to watch Robin Hood: Men in Tights (if you haven't watched this movie your life is a shame) in History because it took place in the middle ages." Naruto added.

"Hey, that was totally justified!"

"Or how about when you wanted to play Bowling for Soup songs over the intercom in-between classes because 'it'd cheer people up!'" Shikamaru started in; oh they were on a roll now!

"Well it would!"

"Ooh, remember the time she claimed she was blind in order to bring her new puppy in for show and tell?"

"That was in 2nd grade!"

"And how about the time she-"

"Okay, I get it already! Moving on."

"Aww, but we didn't even get to Kenshin being standard reading material for all 8th graders!" Shikamaru laughed.

"And the Harry Potter Role Play dance-" Naruto started.

"Where they'd only play the Hogwarts Theme Song all night long!" Everyone answered simultaneously. Naruto, Sakura, Lee, Chouji, Tenten, Shikamaru, and even Hinata burst out laughing at this point. Man, I needed to find better friends.

#-#-#-#-#

I loved my friends. Everyone was always happy and smiling. We fought occasionally, but it was never really serious, we were always just joking and messing around. This was the social reject table; we all were too crazy for any other click to allow into their group.

Well, not all of us. I guess I'm the one exception. Sure, I'd listen in on the conversations, but they never truly interested me. Heck, I was always too shy to fit in 2 words per lunch period. I can't help it though; it's just the way I am.

Besides, if I was quiet, no one ever noticed how much more I used to blush at Naruto as opposed to now. No one really noticed when my gaze would accidentally wander to someone else, someone I liked, someone who liked me back, but couldn't be public about it for many reasons; mainly just because that's the way he was, but there were other reasons too.

We were dating;

But one thing was for sure;

If Sakura ever finds out;

She'll be pissed.

#-#-#-#-#

Yes, I realize Ino is very Ooc, but this story really isn't about her, it's about a friend of mine who is (believe it or not) this crazy. And yes, soupcan, this does have a plot, I'll get into that next chapter.

Review, because no author is perfect; especially me!

-Crick