Her Thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own GS or GSD.

It hurts y'know. To see you with Meyrin all the time and when you came back from ZAFT I was never so happy that you came back, but wasn't when I saw you injured and when you brought her along. I noticed that you kept on repeating her name.

Meyrin… Meyrin… and always asked how she was. It hurts. Perhaps the ring never meant something in the first place, perhaps. Oh well, she saved you when you were almost captured by ZAFT, she risked her job to do so. She also stayed by your side 24/7 and took care of you.

And what did I do? Nothing. Not even one bit. I couldn't save him, couldn't do anything for him, even just take care of him. What use am I? He protected me, he cared for me. He even did the best thing that ever happened in my life. He loved me, while all I did was cry and cry. I also love him with all my heart.

But note the past tense. If you think I know, I don't. I say these, because I know I don't deserve his love, he deserves someone better. Some one like Meyrin. I'm not jealous. OK, I am. But what I'm saying is true. I notice the glances he gives her when I'm around; when I talk, he doesn't seem to look at me. And then there's Meyrin. She always seems nervous and stutters when I'm talking or near her. Suspicious, don't you think?

They may not know, but I always look at them and see them talking him smiling and her laughing so hard, some tears were coming out. I tried hard not to barf. I know that one day he would give her a ring like he did with me. He also protects her and cares for her. I bet he pitied me only that was why he was protecting me. It now really, really hurts. But what am I to do? I know that it will make me forget about him when I take the ring off and throw it away. Sure, I took it off.

But it took all my strength and will to do it. I couldn't bring myself to throw it, so I safely stashed it in a box with it inside a bag inside my drawer. Pathetic, aren't I? I really wonder what's more pathetic with me, crying or that ring. Since the second war was over, Athrun became Alex Dino again. Kira and Lacus were back in the orphanage with the children. Meyrin is now my secretary.

I sighed. Today's my day off, I should be relaxing. Finally, after several weeks of pain and torture and paper work, it had come to this day that finally those guys would give me a break for me to relax and enjoy.

I know that I'm not relaxing and I am especially not enjoying it. My thoughts pondered to Athrun again, probably off with Meyrin somewhere. Since today is my day off, I had every one go off even the guards and maids. I went back to the drawer where the ring lay. I opened the box and zipped open the bag. There stood the ring though a little dusty. I rubbed it a little with my hand. Pathetic.

I tried my best not to put it back on, very pathetic. Instead, I put it on a lace that Lacus gave me, just in case. I put it around my neck and covered it up with my shirt and I sighed again. I was surprised when I heard the door knock. It couldn't be any of the maids nor the guards nor Athrun. I was alone in the house today. Kira and Lacus were spending quality time with the kids, so who could it be?

I opened the door and found my number 1 on the least expected people list……Athrun!

"A-Athrun! What are you doing here?" I stuttered. I wanted people to think and know that I am a tough leader and hard to core at that not like my inside self and especially showing my weakness to Athrun isn't exempted either. I hated it.

Athrun looked at me with confusion. I could see in his emerald eyes a glint of some kind that I couldn't put my finger on it, but guessing might be something to do with Meyrin. Back to our conversation, "I thought you were going out…" I told him, "with Meyrin." I murmured that last part. I think he heard it and said, "Come again?" I just shook my head and said, "Nothing."

I sat back on my bed looking at him. It pained my heart to know that I can't kiss or even hug him right now. I really, really wanted to do so with all my heart, but can't. Oh great, now I'm on the verge to crying. I tried my best to stop it so that Athrun won't see.

Unfortunately, he saw it.

"Cagalli, are you alright?" he asked in the most gentle voice I've ever heard. He must be breaking up with me, but before he does I must know all questions and doubts in my mind. So I asked him, "Why are you here, Zala?" I didn't mean to sound rude to him, but it had to be done. I didn't have a chance to look at him, but I can tell he's depressed.

Athrun didn't say anything at first. He was quiet, but I could feel his piercing gaze on me. I didn't like it. It felt like he was slowly undressing me giving me chills. Then he did the least expected thing I thought he would do. He leaned forward, his knee touching the bed, cupped my face to turn to him. He leaned closer and kissed me softly with those lips of his.

What I have been waiting for all day. Not only that, it seemed to have answered all the questions n my head. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. It turned into a passionate kiss, and then it turned to some thing more. As we lay there at the night, both of us exhausted. He was on his side with his arm lying on my waist, signaling that I belonged to him. He was smiling and I never saw those eyes of his sparkle like that before. His other hand was playing with the ring that lay near my chest.

I was also at my side; a new ring now adorning my ring finger. I kissed him softly on his now swollen lips after all that nibbling. He kissed me back as our tongues tangoed with each other. After that, he whispered those three words I've wanted to hear on my ear and with that I slept a peaceful slumber and I suspect that he slept right after me.

All questions have been answered even my doubts of Meyrin and Athrun. I was never happier.

Author: Whew, that was finished. A Cagalli and Athrun fic just for you guys. All my emotion has been put to this fic after watching GS and GSD again and again. I really like this couple only second to Kira and Lacus. To all those who read Three Ship Alliance University, please excuse me for not finishing it yet but my account has an error and I can't seem to send any. Sorry!!!