A/N: We're back, with the next party! It's Wei's turn (yay! They're my favourite!) and it's a Christmas one (yeah, I'm aware it's April).
Disclaimer: I regret to inform you that throughout this party I will not have any ownership of DW.
Party of the Three Kingdoms II
Chapter 1 – Phase 1
"Right, the invitations have been sent to each kingdom," Dian Wei said.
"Good," Sima Yi grunted. "Phase one is complete, my lord."
"No, not exactly. You lot have to go and buy the stuff," Cao Cao said.
"Stuff?" Xiahou Dun asked.
"Food, drink, etc." Cao Cao explained. "Do you think I'd let them starve?"
"Maybe…" Sima Yi said evilly.
"No, you might, but I said this would be the greatest party and it won't be without FOOD!" Cao Cao paused. "Besides, it's Christmas! We're treating our guests to a lovely roast dinner!"
"Poisoned?" Sima Yi asked. Cao Cao whacked him over the head.
"My poor Sima Yi!" Zhang He rushed over to the strategist. "Are you okay?"
"Anyway, I've wrote a shopping list and if you come back without something then I'll spit in your mouths while you sleep!" Cao Cao threatened.
"EW!" all of the officers said.
"Why do that?" Cao Ren asked.
"I've been watching too much Family Guy… We'll treat our guests to an episode of that as well!" Cao Cao roared. "NOW! Go shopping!!!!!"
They looked like a right odd bunch going round Tesco. They were getting loads of biscuits and potatoes and 15 turkeys! Dian Wei and Xu Zhu handled the drinks, 20 bottles of Coke, 15 Sprite and 10 Fanta. Plus all the wine…well, everyone decided that they were the strongest and could therefore handle the task. Sima Yi was in charge of the shopping list.
"Cao Ren, sweets. Can you reach them?" Sima Yi said mockingly. "Zhang He, chocolate. Is it too heavy for you?"
Eventually they got to the till…and after some time, 79 plastic bags and 6 trolleys it was ready to go back to Xia Pi.
"That'll be £328.34, please," the person at the till said. Sima Yi's mouth dropped to the floor, he knew it would cost a lot, but that was a lot more than he had expected! He got out his Hello Kitty purse (it was a present from Zhang He) and handed over the cash.
"My lord, phase one is now complete," Sima Yi said.
"Nope," Cao Cao said simply.
"What?!"
"Look at the place! Thick with dust! I want this place cleaned up, now!"
The men looked at each other, then at Zhen Ji.
"Say, Zhen Ji…you're the woman of the castle, it should be your job to do the cleaning." Sima Yi nudged her.
"NO! Cao Cao! Tell them. Tell them what'll happen if they don't help!" Zhen Ji whined.
"I'll spit in your mouths…and you will be grounded!"
"Grounded! No! Does that mean I can't go to the battle of Chi Bi?" Dian Wei cried.
"That's exactly what it means!" Cao Cao said.
"Come on people, let's clean! Wouldn't want to miss a battle, would we?" Dian Wei already had his polish and cloth.
"I'm not feeling too well, maybe I should sit this part of the phase out…" Sima Yi moaned.
"Oh, that's a shame. It seems that you won't be well enough for the party and phase 2." Cao Cao patted Sima's head.
"Actually, I'm feeling a lot better, wouldn't want to miss phase 2, would I?" Sima Yi ran to join the others.
Sima Yi ended up with the job of cleaning the tiles of the main hall. With a tiny toothbrush…
"Now, don't miss a spot," Cao Cao said as he walked past, leaving a trail of muddy footprints. Sima Yi had steam coming out of his ears.
"Oh, Yi-chan, poor you getting this horrible job. Here, I'll help you!" Zhang He produced a toothbrush, got down on his hands and knees and began to scrub.
"It's done!" Sima Yi lobbed his toothbrush at Xu Zhu, who didn't even know he'd got hit. "Phase one complete?"
"Let me think…" Cao Cao looked thoughtful. "No."
"What the hell?!"
"It continues tomorrow. We have to set out the food and stuff," Cao Cao said.
"Oh, that's alright. I get to relax," Sima Yi said.
"Yeah, with me!" Zhang He put an arm around Sima Yi.
"No, I'm going to bed; you can sleep in your own bed." Zhang He gave Sima Yi puppy dog eyes. "No, I need my sleep. We'll up 'til all hours tomorrow night."
"Fine…" Zhang He slumped away.
XOXOXOX
The next day everyone was up and preparing food.
"XU ZHU! Stop eating the biscuits!" Cao Cao yelled.
"You're gonna have to give him a different job, nothing to do with food," Cao Pi said.
"Right. Xu Zhu, go and…make sure the music system is working and make sure that we have some good music for when the other kingdoms arrive."
"Have you picked some people to carry the bags?" Cao Pi asked.
"No, I'll have Dian Wei, Xu Zhu and Pang De…oh, wait, he's dead! Cao Ren then. Xiahou Yuan too." Shakira starts to play.
"I was expecting something…different from Xu Zhu. But this is better music than I could have hoped for," Xiahou Dun said.
"Wait! Is the Christmas tree up?" Cao Cao asked.
"Yep! I done it all by myself. Well, I had a little help from Zhang Liao, but I decorated it," Zhang He said.
"Sima Yi, you better go and check…who knows how Zhang He has decorated it…" Cao Pi said. Sima Yi rushed to the main hall to find the Christmas tree sprayed pink with glittery baubles and purple snowflakes with sparkly tinsel. Sima Yi rushed back to Cao Pi.
"OMG! It's pink! We need another one!!!" Sima Yi cried. Just then Xiahou Dun came in with a green tree.
"Xiahou Dun, put that tree in the main hall and decorate without Zhang He's help," Cao Pi said.
"Okay."
"Everything should be ready and…"
DING DONG!
"They're here!" Cao Cao rushed to the door.
"Muhahahaha! Phase 2!" Sima Yi rubbed his hands evilly.
A/N: I know it's kinda Sima Yi, Zhang He and Cao Cao a lot, but I like them. Anyway, I've started and I hoped you liked it, so please review!