A/N: Hello! This is a companion fic to Baby Names (R/L) and Baby Names 2 (D/Hr) hence, I present Baby Names 3. I suggest you read the first two so that you would understand some of the jokes here.
This is technically part two of Baby Names (R/L) since Baby Names 2 (D/Hr) is AU. But still please read the other two so it would be clearer. !Hint! Oh, and while you're there, please drop a review or two. !Hint!
Off you go, then.
"Hermione…"
"…"
"Her-My-Oh-Knee…"
"uhmmm… get me that gauze… ugh, hmmmm…"
"Her-MY-OH-KNEE!"
"The Great Elves Revolt of 1453… rufffllmmsssgghhmmmmm…"
"Viktor Krum's a Bulgarian Bonbon"
"What did you say?"
"See! I knew you weren't sleeping."
"You see, one can sleep at this moment of 2 am in the morning but unfortunately one can not when someone is syllabifying one's name and calling out one's ex-boyfriend as 'bonbon'."
"Okay, you lost me at 'You see'."
"You poor cute little boy"
"Whatever makes you happy, sweetheart. Anyway, I want to name our next child."
"Next child? Harry, I'm not even pregnant"
"Don't worry, you will be"
"How come that line is so familiar to me?"
"Because that's what I told you the last time I got you pregnant?"
"Oh, right, right."
"So, c'mon! Can we name our next child?"
"If we must because Merlin knows we need it right this second"
"Are you sure you're not pregnant? Because you sure are cranky today"
"Yes, I'm not pregnant. Let's just get this over with"
"Wow. You are understanding and loving to your husband."
"I'm sorry, honey. I just had a bad day at the hospital and then I'm going to work early and… " (sigh) "I love you and what I just said are not excuses to be grumpy. I'm sorry."
"You will be forgiven if we name our next child today."
"Deal"
"Great! So what do you think the name of our next child would be?"
"You mean you woke me up for baby names and you haven't even picked out one yet?"
"Yes"
"Oh"
"Do you have something in mind?"
"I don't know… we already got my favorite names for our children."
"Well, I have a list here… wait, aha! There we go…"
"I thought you haven't… never mind. Lets hear 'em"
"First off the Potter List of Wonderful Baby Names by Harry James Potter, Presented to Hermione "Will Be Pregnant Again" Granger-Potter is Perdita. She's the daughter of Hermione"
"Will be pregnant again? Right. By the way, Perdita also means 'lost'. Our daughter will not be tragic, Harry. Besides, Perdita Potter? Honestly."
"Well, it's worth a shot. Right, what about Harrison?"
"What if she's a she? Harridaughter. I think I'll pass."
"Hey! A girl with a guy name is sexy"
"Alright, let your daughter have a guy name. She already has a Potter as a surname. Its like bloody raw meat out in shark infested waters"
"Great analogy, Hermione. NO guy name for any of my daughters. And no dating until they're old and wrinkly."
"Well, at that time we'll be smelly and wormy. Did I mention six feet bellow the ground? And they were the ones who probably put us there."
"Point taken"
"Good. What's next?"
"Clayton"
"Oh, great its Harry Potter's son, Clay Potter."
"Smartass"
"You love me for it"
"Which one? Being smart or having a great ass because I can't choose one"
"Just keep smoldering me with those comments and we'll have this baby before you can say…"
"Really?"
"No, I was going to say Quidditch but really could be okay"
"Ha, ha. No, I meant really?"
"Just keep the list going"
"Alright! We could always go for Jimmynie-nicklebop"
"I can't believe Ron's face when Luna told him that!"
"Yeah, me too. Good thing Luna had it in a pensieve"
"And it's a good thing we got out of it when they started… you know"
"Having fun?"
"Yes! Moving on…"
"I like Hestia. She's a witch, you know. She's the first Healer and founder of St. Mungo's. She saved thousands of lives in the great goblin massacre in 1253"
"I'm so proud of you for researching all of this, honey but I think the books left out a tiny little detail"
"What?"
"She was a prostitute"
"And you remember her for that?"
"Yup! And I don't want our child to be remembered because she was named after Hestia."
"At least she's the world's greatest—"
"Next please!"
"Oh, alright. Why don't we name our child after a celebrity? Like Katie, Uma, Brad, Collin or Sanjaya?"
"I don't want Simon Cowell to hate our child"
"He has cool hair though"
"Baby, our child will have cool hair, thanks to you and yours truly. We should say sorry to them for that, you know"
"Already have, sweetie"
"That's my boy. What's next?"
"Marshal. It's got a nice ring to it. And it's Eminem's real name"
"I didn't know you were a rap kind of guy"
"But still, it's nice"
"Is it me or does Eminem look like Ferret-boy?"
"You noticed that too?"
"Great minds think alike, babe. Great minds."
"No to Marshal?"
"No to Marshal."
"That's about it"
"I'm sorry, honey"
"No, its okay. As long as I have my baby with you I don't care if I have to call him 'Voldemort and Lucius' Lovechild' Potter"
"Does that line work with the girls?"
"I don't know… does it?"
"Definitely. But Voldemort and Lucius' Lovechild?"
"I had to think of the worst thing I could think of!"
"It is, honey. Merlin, it is."
"I'm sorry for waking you up"
"Its okay. Hey! You left out names here…"
"I did? Oh! I forgot about those. Its for twins."
"Darwin and Todd for boys and Cara and Sophia for girls."
"Darwin and Cara means friendship, in this case friend. Todd and Sophia means…"
"Cleverness or clever… Friendship and Bravery. Books and Cleverness. Oh, Harry…"
"Well, as far as I know I don't have twin relatives. So in case you do, at least we have names"
"I actually don't know, Harry."
"What? You don't know something? The end has come! Hermione "Know It All" Granger-Potter doesn't know something!"
"Shut up, Harry. I love those names. Wow, Potter! Nice work!"
"We could have fraternal twins… Darwin and Sophia. I love those"
"Yeah, me too…"
"Yes! We've got names!"
"Great!"
"Now! Time to make 'em"
"If we must… and with the words of the Bottomless Stomach also known as Ron, 'Let's have some fun!'"
"Harry "Will Be Bloody Lucky" Potter"
"Honey, you won't 'be bloody lucky' if you keep doing that."
"Yes ma'am!"
A/N: Did you like it? No? While you're here, please review! Please help me break the review record on the Baby Names Series with this one. Thank You!