Disclaimer: If I owned it, do you really think I'd be writing Kingdom Hearts fanfiction? HUH?! Hmph, that's what I thought.

Warning: This story contains shounen-ai/yaoi, drug addicts, alcoholics, stalkers and a bunch of other stuff… yeah…

A/N: So… I wasn't quite thinking when I wrote this... ok, so I wasn't really thinking at all. This is really just a random 10 minute spew I did to take a break from lit analysis paper. It didn't really strike me as interesting, but if you want me to continue, leave some feedback, otherwise I'll be dropping this story.

Oh and the title and chapter titles have absolutely no relevance to the story...yup.

Potato Chips and Pixie Sticks

Chapter 1: Onions & Strawberries Just Don't Go Together

A beautiful brunette stood from the top of the circle of chairs and brightly announced, "Okay, since we'll all be cruising with each other for the next month, shall we start with introductions? We'll go counter clockwise, I'll start! I'm Aerith and I'm the head counselor for this trip. It's nice to meet you all and I'm sure you'll all get over whatever difficulties you're facing!" She asked a rough looking, blond man wearing goggles to go next.

"Cid's the name. And I don't fucking know why am here, cause unlike yer damn freaks, I ain't got no fucking addiction." Immediately after finishing his statement he grabbed three cigarettes out of his pockets and started puffing them all at once. Everyone could tell why he was here.

For a few moments all was quiet, until a red head finally realized it was his turn. "Oh! Names Wakka ya? Ma friends say I'm obsessed with blitzball and forced me to come on this cruise to get some time off. But I don't understand how anybody could ever get enough of blitz, yah?"

A silver haired boy put his headphones away and began his introduction," I doubt I really need to introduce myself, but what's the harm. I'm Riku," he looked around the room and flashes a smile, all the girls swooned, "My manager apparently thinks I go clubbing too much and thinks I need another means of stress relief..." He blew them a kiss. The girls fainted.

A green eyed, spiky redhead stood up and glanced over everyone, "The names Axel got it memorized?" When no one made a move to answer he narrowed his eyes and stared at them maliciously until they nodded, "Good. I'm here 'cause I'm stalking Roxas and I'm a pyro. But mostly 'cause I'm stalking Roxas." He pointed to the blond next to him... who was twitching?

"Uh...hey...," grumbled the said twitching blond boy, "they," bitterness was evident in his voice, "sent me here 'cause they said I have a problem with possessiveness and over protectiveness, which I think is a load of bull... LEONHART GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF MY BROTHER!" Leon immediately withdrew his hand from Sora, who was now letting out a whimper, disappointed from the loss of contact.

Another redhead, stared blankly at everyone, then he grinned, "Hey yo! Name's Reno and I fucking worship beer!" He passed out.

The other blond sitting next to Reno gleamed and with a cheerily said "Hey, my names Demyx and I love music!" Aerith smiled, "that's wonderful."

A boy sitting to Demyx's right commented "and he's a diaster with anything related. He's tone deaf, can't sing, his songs suck, and he can't play instruments, but does that stop him from setting up a microphone on the streets at 2AM and screeching his lungs out? Causing me to lose the few precious hours of sleep time me and everyone else on the street have? No."

Demyx pouted and rose an accusing finger to the bluish silver haired boy "you just can't recognize true talent Zexy!"

The boy sneered, "Don't call me that." Demyx stuck out his tongue at him, "That's Zexy-"

"Zexion," the other boy cut in. Demyx rolled his eyes, "fine! Zexxxiioonnn," he purposely stretched out, "and he's here because he's emo!"

"I'm not emo!"

"Sure you are! You've got the emo haircut and everything!"

"Why you-"

"Now, now, boys, calm down, this isn't a place for fighting, it's a place for relaxation and rehabilitation" Aerith hastily attempted to play the part of peacemaker.

Zexion glared at Demyx and the boy hummed... was that supposed to be 'I'm a little teapot?' Oh god. He WAS tone-deaf.

A girl with short black hair giggled, "I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie! And I love anything and everything sweet!"

The girl next to her, a brunette with curled locks nearly screamed out while jumping up and down, "Me too! Me too! I'm Selphie and I looooovvvvvvve sugar!!!"

"Leon." Sora nudged Leon in the side, he added, "I work," he nudged him again, this time harshly, so he continued "a lot." Sora huffed, "he's a workaholic, so I decided he needed a vacation!"

Sora stood up, saluted everyone and gave them a cheeky grin, "I'm Sora and I'm addicted to chocolate!" Yuffie and Selphie squealed, "WEEE! We can all be sugar buddies!"

Riku called out from the other side of the room, "hey sweet cheeks! Wanna tango?" Leon growled and was about to say something, but Roxas beat him to it, "DON'T YOU DARE HIT ON MY BROTHER!"

Riku smirked, "oh? What are you going to do about it?"

"Everyone please…" Aerith pleaded.

Roxas bolted out of his seat, stomped over to Riku punched him in the jaw and leered, "that." Riku put felt his mouth had a bit of blood trickling down and seethed, "How dare you, a mere nobody, leave a mark on my perfect face?!" Many of the present girls were yelling at Roxas too.

Roxas scoffed, "Easily," then he flicked the girls off.

Riku stood up and before Roxas could back away he rendered Roxas unconscious with a heavy blow to the head. Sora squeaked, and rushed over to his brother, Leon on the other hand looked amused.

"YOU BASTARD, I'LL KILL YOU!" Axel roared and advanced towards Riku, who in return made a taunting gesture.

Aerith rested her forehead in the palm of her hand…the next month was going to be gigantic headache.