The Thinking Conversation (Script form)
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Funny little story behind the 'thinking conversation' that I am about to relate to you in a few moments. A good chum (and for anonymity's sake shall remain anonymous) and I were just talking on MSN one day… and this conversation that we had was so great, I decided to post it on my blog, and therefore somehow, post it on Fan Fiction. I have found my 'somehow'. Mind you, this was totally improvisation, which we both excel at. This conversation probably took less than 5 minutes in total. (We're fast typers, too) Right! On with the show…
Warning: Viewers are cautioned that extreme 'thinking' may be involved (and as a result, don't blame us for the headache you will most undoubtedly have by the end).
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The Thinking Conversation (Script form)
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(Curtain opens and the Doctor is seen sitting on a TARDIS chair at a TARDIS table in the TARDIS kitchen – naturally in the TARDIS. A book is open before him on the table, but it is turned to the last page and henceforth evident that he has read it.)
(Rose suddenly clomps in, stares at the Doctor for a minute who is oblivious to her abrupt entry, and plops down in the chair across from him.)
Rose: What do you think?
The Doctor: What do you think I think?
(Rose stares for a minute, not sure where he's going with this, so she decides to continue after a moment's hesitation.)
Rose: What do you think I think what you think?
(The Doctor is taken aback, obviously not expecting a comeback. He leans forward in his seat, eying her steadily across the table, eyes slightly narrowed in concentration.)
The Doctor: What do you expect me to think you think if I even think at all?
Rose: What would you assume me to think that I would expect you to think if you even think at all?
The Doctor: Why would you jump to the conclusion that I was assuming you to think that you would expect me to think If I even think at all, in which case, I think, we should think about this.
(Rose clearly is trying to understand what The Doctor is saying; and she tries desperately to outdo him.)
Rose: I think you need to think about me jumping to the conclusion that you were assuming me to think that I would expect you to think that if you even think at all, because, I think, that I wouldn't at all.
(Rose is emphatic and ecstatic with triumph; however, after a slight pause, The Doctor is ready.)
The Doctor: Ah, but don't you think that the general population thinks that you should think about thinking about whether or not I think you think what I think?
Rose: But it all depends on what you think about the general population thinking that I should think about whether or not you think I think what you think!
The Doctor: Good point, but don't you think that the thinking of thought would only make more people think that I think that you think that we're over thinking this a little?
(Rose is trying desperately hard to comprehend what The Doctor is saying, but is failing. The Doctor has a smug expression on his face coupled with slight confusion, though he was never going to admit it in a thousand years.)
Rose: I don't think so, because even though the thinking of thought would make more people think that you think that I think that we're over thinking this a little, they'll… erm… start to… think more.
(Rose is triumphant, and the look on The Doctor's face is worth it.)
The Doctor: Thinking in that mindset, the thinking started by more people thinking of thought that would make us both think that we're thinking about the thought of the moment, which, I think, should be on whether or not we should think this whole plan through a bit more. Don't you think?
(Rose makes one final desperate attempt.)
Rose: I think so; the more people thinking of thought that would make us both think that we're thinking about the thought of the moment, which, as you think, should be on whether or not we should think this whole plan through a bit more, the better!
(The Doctor is seriously stunned.)
The Doctor: I think… that might be the end.
(Rose smiles sweetly at The Doctor)
Rose: I think so too.
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I am SO not kidding. We had that conversation… it turns out that we were making half that stuff up, but… it convinced you we knew what we were talking about, right? –ish hopeful-