Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Kingdom Hearts, Donald Trump, Noam Chomsky, Bugs Bunny, or Jesus.
AN: Flame me. Please.
Enjoy.
The Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series Presents:
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The Astronomical and Social Inveigles of Obscurities Within the Infamous Video-Game Industry
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Lecturer Avery Stue Pidmann presiding over the 57th course in this lecture series:
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SORA IS JESUS
A comprehensive study of the biblical symbolism in the Kingdom Hearts Videogame
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Avery Stue Pidmann is a 32 year old obese man living in New Jersey with his aging mother. A world renowned lecturer (and taco fanatic) he has also worked with the Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series with such brilliant performances as "The Errors Of Humanity: Donald Trumps Unnatural Hair", "Abort this Program!: The Social Birth Ethics of the Computer Industry," and "Think Outside the Bun: A Memoir of Tacos and Women." We are honored to have him here in our lecture studio today, after a harrowing bus ride of fifteen miles to get here. Lets give a great round of applause for this ingenious man!
Audience: Hip, Hip, Huzzah!
Thank you, thank you. It is an honor to be here, back again at my old home in the KDHJLS. My, it brings back memories - I never completely got those tomatoes stains out of my second-best suit! (audience laughs) But, I was young and foolish then - now, I have a raincoat and a shield, and a bag of lettuce of my own. And a bag of rocks. (audience laughs a little more nervously) So please, enjoy this new program, the infamous "Sora Is Jesus."
Biblical symbolism is, well, everywhere. From Jane Eyre - so controversial to have a female Christ figure for the time - to the terminator - which was just stupid - it has invaded our lives. Everywhere we go, the images of light against darkness and good against evil seem to follow us. Why should it not be so in video games? I have many points to cover in this lecture, but the main one is this - the Kingdom Hearts Dynasty of the Video-audio game system is indeed, overflowing with Bible References. Sora, in fact, is representing Jesus.
Besides the apparent light/dark symbolism following him everywhere, there are many clues to why this is so. For instance, he opens 'the door' to Kingdom Hearts - lets the light of forgiveness bathe the worlds (and blinds Ansem, who is representing the devil). He also is the one to believe hearts (souls) are good, thus adding to the "forgiveness." theme. Finally, his entire story can be related to that of the Christ - setting off from Destiny Islands (A warped form of Bethlehem, which then breeds the problem of who is Joseph and Mary - Wakka being the oldest child there . . .) and making a journey to End of The World. (Jerusalem.) On the way he encounters many new faces - sinners to be saved and disciples. Finally, we come to the death and resurrection of Sora - betrayed by Riku, he is cast to wondering in Hollow Bastion and turned into a heartless, representing the death. Of course, rather then actually dying, Sora turns into a black, bug-eyed cute thing you want to name Shadow-chan, and glomp, but that is beside the point.
Kairi, representing the virgin mother, is the one to bring Sora back. With a hug, and the love of humanity, Sora is returned to life, and sent on to the end of the world. Kairi is pure, a 'princess of heart', so it is right she should be the one to instate the resurrection.
Then, after talking about Kairi, we come to the odd point of Riku. Riku, once being Sora's friend, can be named many things - the betrayer, and yet the saved. For as Riku goes into the darkness, by the end of the first game he is on the side of Sora and the King - helping them close the door. This can be interpreted as the 'savior' of Riku - his darkness evaporating in the love of others. There are many "saved' characters in the biblical study, one of the main being obvious - Mary Magdalene. With all the stone before-said stone imagery following Riku (see section A15, Page G20 of Lecture 12) it seems only fitting. This, however, means that 1) Riku is a girl, and 2) he is a prostitute.
Audience: Fangirly Squee
Pidmann: excuse me, was a prostitute.
Audience: Aw, maaaaaaaan.
Pidmann: But a need for forgiveness is not the only aspect of Riku. There is also the betrayal, which could lead one to believe he is representing Judas. By being led astray, through maleficent also representing the devil, he loses faith in his friend Sora, and eventually steals the key blade (representing nachos) from him.
Audience: Nachos?
Pidmann: Well, you see, there is an easy explination for that. It is merely that nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner of blah blah blah blah blah with duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr pythagrium theorem blah blah cheese wizz blah blah blah blah blah blah Goofy and Pluto nyerner nyerner nyerner APiR2 duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr never trust a dog with orange eyebrows nyerner nyerner nyerner nyerner port-i-potty blah blah blah blah blah gamma radiation duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr duhrr and other nonsensical jargon. It's really quite simple, don't you see?
After one recognizes Sora's inherent biblical symbolism, everything else falls into place. Mary Magdalene, the disciples, the devil, even God and heavenly powers is represented through the good of King Mickey . . .
Audience Member: Mickey?
Pidmann: Why yes, with the aspect of light surrounding him and Sora's search for him, her represents the trilogy which all spiritually look for . . .
Audience Member: No he doesn't.
Pidmann: Excuse me?
Audience Member: He doesn't. He most certainly does not represent God!
Pidmann: I'm sorry, but I have done extensive research on this point, and it's quite obvious that . . .
Audience Member: Well, you're research is wrong. And you're stupid!
Pidmann: That's Pidmann, Avery Stue Pidmann.
Audience Member: I mean you're an uneducated idiot and all your theories are crackpot!
Pidmann: I am a professor!
Audience Member: I laugh at your professorship! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Pidmann: Well what are you? I bet you work at McDonalds and the only people who will hear your theories are on the internet!
Audience Member: So? You're so dumb you still believe Noam Chomsky was right!
Pidmann: Oh, that is it! You get out of my lecture hall right now!
Audience Member: Oh, that hit a nerve. Somebody doesn't like Noam's linguist theories!
Pidmann: You dare insult the great and almighty Chomsky to my face? You insolent dog! Prepare for the whipping of your life!
Audience Member: What, because you think Mickey Mouse is god? Get a life! Move into the twenty-first century, geezer! Disney is
over! Only the true king will reign! Give me Bugs Bunny or give me death! Viva la Warner!
Another Audience Member: Oh my god it's a Warnerist! Run!
Pidmann: I knew one of them would try and weasel their way in here!
Audience Member: That's right, pitiful fools! I am a Warnerist! I believe in the path of the Harry Potter movies and Looney Toons! We of
the brotherhood scoff Kingdom hearts and your puny theories! AHAHAHAHAHA!
Pidmann: You don't even know the difference between a laugh and a scoff! Bring it on, oh, bring it on!
Warnerist: I'll settle it with fists! Take that! And that! The Brothers are the best!
Third Audience Member: You're all wrong! Pixar is the way of the future! Bow before you superiors, slaves! The end of an animation era is eminent!
Fourth Audience Member: Don't worry Pidmann, Square Enix is behind you all the way! Die, rebel scum!
Audience Member: Aaaaaaaaaaaarrggg! My spleen!
Yet Another Audience Member: Ohh, and it looks like Viz is down for the count, but oh, no, he's standing up again! And, ah, Pidmann just got a good hit on Pixar, but Warner's got a chair, watch out, Avery! That must have hurt! Oh, but he's going for the mouth with the bag of rocks! Hah! Take that! And Funimation's come in from the right, and I think he has a knife, yes, the man has a knife! Ahhh, that's fighting dirty! He's going for the kill, he's about to stab him - nooo! Only a noble sacrifice from the Biology Professor stopped him in time. And look, Art History's out for revenge, not a pretty sight! That is a large machete, there! The odds are on Warner, eight to five, but Pidmann's getting a few good swings in there, and if you like the underdog, Viz has come out of nowhere and is tearing the place apart - !
Fades Out
The Kumquatous Discovery Happy-Joy Lecture Series would like to thank you for listening to lecture 57 in the course, The Astronomical and Social Inveigles of Obscurities Within the Infamous Video-Game Industry, Sora is Jesus. Unfortunately, Lecturer Avery Stue Pidmann will not join us next time, as he has received multiple wounds to the head with what the police think was a pineapple. He is Recovering in St Murgatroid's hospital for the Mentally Deranged, and with luck will be able to speak again within the year. All the get well cards were appreciated. Perhaps one day he'll be able to read them.
Next time: The Video Game Gay-o-Meter: Is there a definite correlation between Spikiness of Hair and Homosexuality? Lecturer Akuroku Presiding.
We used to listen to a lecture series on the History of the English Language on long car trips, and when ever we did, I always dreamed of something like this happening. Chomsky may have been proven wrong, btw. Check out the New Yorker, if you can find it.
All reviews are appreciated. Actually, for this story, all flames are also appreciated.